What an amazing video for a corporation to make! One critical element of success in today’s market is honest and transparency. They are even asking for competition!  This video from Honda is worth watching.

(I saw this video first at the People of the Second Chance site)

How are you handling your mistakes and failure?

If this is your struggle, I’ve written more about failure in these posts:

7 Ways To Recover After A Major Failure Or Mistake
5 Principles I Have Learned About Failure
Failure Can Lead to Success

The most talked about press conference ever occurs tomorrow.  Tiger Woods will face a select group of media.  Every sports report I saw today was focused on what Tiger will or will not say.  Some were kind, some were not, but all want to know what he has on his mind.  I believe grace is available to Tiger, just as it is to all of us, which I wrote about HERE and HERE.

Tiger is a celebrity and a role model, so I understand the media attention. At the same time, Tiger is a private citizen and ultimately he’s accountable to God and his family, not me or others. Still, if Tiger were calling me tonight for advice, or if I could somehow get word to him, this is what I would have him say:

• I’m sorry
• I was wrong
• It was my fault
• I’m getting help…I can’t do this alone
• Please extend grace to me and my family and hold me accountable
• I’m moving forward

He shouldn’t have to answer details about his personal life that at this point will not change the situation. Hopefully Tiger will repent, restore, and return to the game of golf.  Don’t we all love a good story of restoration?

Are you listening Tiger? Tiger, if you are, you may want to read THIS POST or THIS POST also.

What do you think Tiger should say?

Do you hope he returns to the game of golf?

This past Sunday’s message was about failure. Although we had this message in the series planned for months and we spend considerable time in prayer about what to speak about each week, I never imagined how sensitive this topic would be. I have been inundated with stories this week of how failure has impacted people’s lives. (And to think I thought it was just my story…)

If you are dealing with failure, I hope you will consider watching this message.

As a teaser, here are five principles I have learned about failure:

Not everyone is talking about you….even when it feels that way…

The best days of your life may be after the failure…not before…
if you allow God to shape the rest of your story…

Would you allow your story to help others? What’s one thing you have learned from failure? (Please share it as a comment on the blog, even if you are reading this on Facebook, to allow others to read your thoughts.)

 

I meet so many people that have been injured by failure, hurt or disappointment, to the point that they refuse to take a chance again. Jesus used parables to teach life applications. Recently one of Jesus’ parables reminded me of some important principles regarding life’s difficulties and the process we go through seeing our dreams come true. I realize Scripture has only one meaning, but for me this parable has a new application.

The parable is Mark 4:26-29

Here is the encouragement I received:

Plant – One important step after a failure is to get started with life again. You have to at least plant something. Many times people never get started again pursuing their dreams. It’s impossible to harvest a crop you never planted.

Plant the right seeds – Remember, you will reap what you sow. If you have made mistakes, learn from them and plant new seeds. Head your life in the direction you want it to go.

Understand You Can’t Control Circumstances – The farmer can’t control the weather. You and I cannot control other people. Once we plant, we can’t control all the circumstances. You may have to take a risk again, even though there are few guarantees.

Harvest – Trust the harvest will come. If you head your life in the right direction, and wait on God to work His will, eventually you will experience success. Don’t let impatience keep you from waiting on God’s perfect timing.

Have you been holding back because of fear or worry? Maybe now is the time to get back to farming!

What do you think of when you look at this picture?

I know what I am tempted to see:

I see an eyesore…
I see what’s left of someone’s dream…
I see a has been building…
I see a useless piece of rubble…

…But what if this were only the before picture?

What if the AFTER picture was a brand new remodeled, modern building utilizing the front wall of the old building?

Would that make a difference in your perception about this picture?

Sometimes we tend to look at the present and forget about the amazing power in a future.

Your current story may be awful. You may feel your dream is gone. You may wonder if anything good can come of your brokenness.

One thing is sure; you cannot change your story, but you can allow the power of God to work in you to bring about a better story.

Never underestimate the power of God’s intervention in your life. He uses broken, mixed up, hurting, fractured stories to mold and shape some of His greatest work.

Are you ready?  Have you got one of those great stories of God’s power to change a life?  I’d love to hear it.

(For more ideas on how to recover from a painful past, read this POST and this POST and this POST.)

Are you avoiding your story? Do you often wish you could escape the past?

One famous Bible character never seemed to escape her story.

I have always found it interesting that Rahab continued to be known as a harlot…a prostitute…a hooker… (Sorry for the crude word, but that probably best captures how she must have been viewed at one point in her life.)

In Hebrews 11, the so-called faith chapter, where God chronicles the examples of superior faith, Rahab is still referred to as “Rahab the prostitute”. (Hebrews 11:31) She apparently never fully escaped the title or the memory of her past.

Perhaps the memory of your past gone wrong…all the painful mistakes, the tragedies, the hurts, the failures… remain for a greater purpose…

• To remind you of who He is and what He has done in your life…
• To remind you to help others that struggle…
• To keep you humble or from becoming conceited…

Instead of trying to run from your past, perhaps you should embrace the changes God has brought in your life through that past and the forgiveness He has provided and allow God to use the memory of your sorrow for His glory.

How are you allowing God to use your mistakes, tragedies, heartache and sorrow for a greater good?

If you need some tips on recovering from your past, read this post HERE.

I previously posted on the 5 Obstacles to Having a Great Marriage.  I believe preparation is the best prevention for marriage failure. If a couple knows the natural struggles most marriages experience, they are less likely to throw in the towel when their marriage encounters these problems and hopefully be more willing to look for help.  I decided to take that a step further and share, from my experience, a list of the leading causes of marriage failure.  You will see a similar theme here.  What keeps us from having great marriages is also often what leads to marriage failure.

The leading causes of marriage failure (in my experience) are:

Boredom – Couples stop dreaming, learning, and exploring. Often the busyness of life distracts them from simply having fun together.

Communication – Not understanding the difference in men and women and the different ways each communicate causes huge wedges in a marriage relationship.

Money – The pursuit for more often drives couples to stress out over money, or the lack thereof. (This is also a major cause of arguments.)

Other people – Whether it is friends, in-laws or even children, couples often allow other people to come between them.

Tragedy – It is difficult for the best marriages to recover from a tragedy, but especially marriages that are already experiencing difficulties.

There are certainly other reasons marriages fail, but when the trail of the marriage that is breaking apart is traced it will many times lead back to one of these major causes.

If you sense your marriage is in jeopardy or if one of these issues is currently bringing stress into your marriage, do not wait until one spouse is ready to quit to do something about it. Get help now. Protect your marriage. (If you are the only spouse who recognizes the problem, read this POST.)

For more posts about marriage, go HERE.

Never recovering after a major personal mistake or failure is what keeps some people from ever accomplishing much in life.  All of us make mistakes, but I am referring to the ones that cause major pain to yourself and those you love.  Even this type of failure does not have to stop you from achieving your dreams and goals. A lot of bouncing back in life depends on your response and attitude after the fall.

Here are a few steps to help you get back on track after you have a major failure in life:

Apologize – If the error was your fault, then be humble enough to admit your mistake and ask forgiveness.  Taking responsibility for your actions is never a bad thing to do.  Spend some time with God and the people you injured seeking their forgiveness.  God will grant it easily, others may not, but your job is not to control their response, but to offer a sincere apology.

Change directions – You can’t expect to recover if you keep repeating the same mistakes.

Build protection/accountability – Don’t be foolish enough to think it won’t happen again. It will unless you protect yourself.  You have damaged your proprioceptors  (Read this post) and depending on the size of the failure you may have to retrain yourself not to let the same mistake happen again.

Forgive yourself – Often the hardest thing to do is to let go of the guilt and move forward, but if God can forgiven you, why can’t you?

Stand strong – You will receive the same temptation again.  You will have further opportunity to repeat the same mistakes. Do not allow circumstances to control your life.  Find the power in Christ, yourself and others who believe in you to stay strong.

Set new goals – Dream again.  Find new areas in which you can succeed.  This may be one of the most important steps.  Don’t skip it,

Don’t look back – Once you have sought and received forgiveness and built safeguards into your life, do not allow the past to control your destiny.  Move forward with victory!

Are you allowing your past to control your future?   Get moving towards a new day today!

A friend recently asked me to name the top 5 things I do because I have to do, but don’t necessarily like to do. He called it the “underbelly of leadership”. It was a great question, so I decided to share the answer here.

Managing – I much prefer leading a vision versus managing the process of accomplishing the vision. I love big pictures, but stress over details. Part of my role, however, as a leader is to insure that the vision is actually accomplished and not simply painted. (Read a related post HERE.)

Correcting – I would rather receive the “Best Boss” award by being Mr. Nice Guy. Part of the leader’s responsibility, however, is to constructively correct errors so that the team gets better and the organization continues to improve.

Waiting – I know patience is a fruit of the Spirit, but it is the one I struggle with the most. I want accomplishment and quick and consistent follow-through. I have to recognize, however, that fast is not always best and that others on my team are wired different from me for a reason. They balance me well.

Submitting – I would rather have it my way. The fact is there are smarter people than me on our staff about some issues and if things are only done my way we will be limited to my strength and not the strength of the team.

Failing – I like to win. I want success and progress. It is how I am wired and the desire for a win keeps me focused on accomplishing the vision through strategy and diligence. The fact remains, however, that some of my greatest growth times in life and leadership have come through times of failure. I have to allow failure in my life and in the life of our team and help us to learn ways to improve through failing.

Leaders, how would you answer the question? What are the top 5 things you do because you have to do, but don’t necessarily like to do?

I am still somewhat numb over the news and buzz over the fall of Pastor Gary Lamb.  In my previous post I addressed some of these issues, but with the news continuing to dominate many of the blogs I read I decided to address the issue again.  Obviously this is a far more public failure because Gary blogged about it personally and the Internet and social media participation is much larger now than in the past.

I am especially bummed by some of the comments and views I am reading on other posts about this issue. Some people have decided that Pastor Lamb’s situation provides an opportunity to bash him and every church structured like his church.  (For an example, read the comments on Monday Morning Insight’s post about this issue.)  While this is well meaning for the most part, I frankly feel that when a situation like this occurs and gets such public attention that it provides opportunities we did not previously have to do something positive for the Kingdom.

Here are some Kingdom-building opportunities for the church to consider:

• It gives us the opportunity to show the world how the church treats people who are in sin.  Jesus showed us how He treats sinners in John 8.  We now have that same chance.  Sadly, based on the comments I see from pastors and others on various blog posts, I am not sure we are painting the same picture Jesus did.  And yet we wonder why hurting people do not look to the church as their first place of hope in hurting times.
• It gives us the opportunity to build or rebuild accountability into our lives and in the life of our church.  Every pastor and minister should be asking if this could happen to him or her with his or her current system, or lack thereof, of accountability.  As I said in my previous post, I know too many pastors who see nothing wrong with being alone with other staff members of the opposite sex.   Hello?
• It gives us the opportunity to check our own hearts and marriages individually.  If a married person does not seriously take a look at where their own marriage is after reading this story, I would question the sincerity of keeping their marriage strong.
• It gives us the opportunity to help at least two families rebuild their marriage. Is there a better way to model for married couples outside the church that are in distress that with God’s grace and strength a marriage can be restored than to witness it with one of our own?  I hope the restoration of these marriages gets as much attention as the failure in the marriages has received.
• It gives us the opportunity to demonstrate grace and restoration of a fallen soldier.  Regardless of one’s take on Pastor Gary Lamb’s qualification for the pastorate or his style of ministry, few can question the impact he has had on so many people’s lives or the passion he has displayed for Christ.  I cannot help but think that produces overall good for the body.  Granted we all need to be checked at times to make sure we are walking in complete truth, and that time is obviously now for Pastor Lamb, but how effective could he be if he is restored, mentored, and sent back out to invest that renewed passion for the Kingdom’s good?  (I believe the body of Christ was questioning the effectiveness of Paul at one point, yet God used his failures in powerful ways.)

Could this be one of those opportunities where God can work all things for good?  Could we place all the negative energies some have towards Gary Lamb  towards praying that God gets glory here and that lives are drawn to Him through this failure?

NOTE: In times like this we should certainly all get refocussed on truth.  To help with this, read the series of devotionals I am posting this week beginning with this one HERE.)