So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Acts 6:2 NIV  
 
I want to share five things the church can and should give to its pastor in some posts over the next few days. A pastor is to shepherd and oversee the work of God in a local church. (For the purposes of this series I will use the masculine form. This is not an endorsement or a criticism of female pastoral authority. That is not the intent of this series it just makes writing easier.) Please prayerfully consider your pastor this week and see if your church is meeting his needs.   
 
The first thing to consider is that your pastor needs time. The pastor needs time away from the ministerial responsibilities and activities of the church so that he can commit time to his family and to the ministry of the Word of God. The early church leaders are not criticizing the ministry of waiting on tables in today’s verse. Every activity done in the church is important, according to God’s Word. They are simply pointing out that their primary responsibility is to teach God’s Word to the people.   
 
I have witnessed too many pastors who burn out in their work, because too many demands are placed upon them. If there is a social or an activity in the church or among its people, most people expect the pastor to always be there. If someone is sick, the pastor should always make the visit, according to most church members. There is rarely any consideration to the fact that the pastor needs time with his family; and certainly time to prepare the message of God’s Word.   
 
Please, let me share with you from practical experience. If you want your pastor to be prepared to deliver God’s message of the week to you and, if you want his family to be strong enough that he can model family life for you, then give him time alone with God during the week. Make sure he has time to study and for his family. Too many demands on his time will make a very stressed out pastor!

 

(I hope for those at my church reading this series that they can understand I minister to lots of pastors.  This is not a personal plea. Thanks for being the kind of church that allows me to protect my time.  Grace is a great place!)  

Regardless of your politics, we will soon have a new first family. Honestly, I’m excited about watching children growing up in the White House again.  The Obama’s seem like a loving, close family, and it will be interesting getting to know them as they become the daily news focus in the coming months.   

 

True story.  This morning I was thinking about and praying for our new president-elect and the changes about to occur in his young family’s life.  The thought occurred to me that the new president and first lady should help their girls acclimate to their new home by gifting them with a new puppy. 

 

I did a quick online search to make sure the Obama family does not already have a family pet.  According to published reports, President-elect Obama has promised his daughter Malia a puppy.  The dilemma is whether to get her a pedigree to help with her allergies or support the animal shelter and get a mutt. 

 

If you had to pick a first dog, which breed would you select?  Could you see the Obama family with a Pembroke Welsh corgi or a West Highland white terrier?  Or, are they a “pick the dog who needs the most love from the animal shelter” type of family?  What do you think?  

 

 

 

That’s the kind of church I want to be a part of too!

Do you struggle to make “next level” decisions to improve your organization or area of responsibility?  The following is a simple, quick and easy strategy or decision making formula to help you brainstorm next steps to take towards achieving greater success.  

 

First, ask yourself:

What does “excellent” look like in your area of responsibility? 

Once you’ve defined success, then;

 

On scale of 1 to 10 rate your area of responsibility or organization for excellence.

 

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your performance in achieving excellence. 

 

Second:

What would improvement look like in your organization or area of responsibility? 

(What would make your area or organization better?) 

            List those items as specifically as possible. 

 

Based on the areas of improvement listed, ask yourself:

 

What can you do now to improve?      DO IT

 

What can’t you do right now to improve? 

Don’t give up, now ask yourself:

           

What can others do?                                       Delegate.

What will you be able to do someday?          Prepare and wait. 

What will you never be able to do?                Drop it and move on.

 

 

You and I need to learn to have “joy in the moment”.  The sooner we start living that way the sooner the less likely we are to miss some of our best times in life.  Many of us tend to live for the “moments” that are “special”; the celebrated or bigger than normal times to keep us happy in life. We need to begin to appreciate the joy that each moment can bring. 

  

Take just one day of your life for example.  Let’s say we have to work an 8 or 10 hour stress-filled day, only get a few minutes for lunch and miss our breaks because we are so busy. That’s miserable, especially if it describes most day, but we need to learn to enjoy the moments of joy often hidden amongst a day like that.  Times when we get a text from our spouse signed “I love you” or an email from a special friend or when someone we work with makes a funny comment.  We should enjoy the smile the cashier or waitress gives us (or the smile we give them) or the memories of loved ones who quickly pass through our minds.   We should appreciate the moment that our dog wags his tail and gets excited when we get home that day.   

 

Don’t wait for the major “moments” to enjoy life. Those times are wonderful, but they are too infrequent to allow our joy to rest there.  Some people wait so passionately for the “super” moments of life that they miss the mundane joys of life.  Sometimes the major moments never come and if they do, they often don’t measure up to the expectations we set for them.  Why not learn to love everyday routine life?

 

Consider your life as it is right now.  If nothing ever changed aren’t you already blessed beyond what you probably deserve?  Most of us are.

 

Enjoy your moments; even today!  The smallest moments of your life are worth celebrating!  Sorry to be cliché’ but “you really do have a wonderful life”.

If you aren’t doing so already, I want to encourage you to plan your week for efficiency.  Every Monday (or Sunday night if you prefer), as the first thing you do, consider the week ahead.  Follow this formula:

 

1.   Write down what do you hope to accomplish for the week.  What do you need to accomplish?  Write them in a prioritized order.  

2.   Make a plan of attack.  If you are going to accomplish your objectives this week, what specifically needs to get done?  Write those under each objective in a sequential way. If it seems overwhelming, then use the Hezekiah approach; take your piece of paper, lay it out before God, and say, “God, if this week is to work, it will be up to you to complete it.”  (2 Kings 19:14-19)

3.   Assign an approximate, realistic time to each item on your action plan.  If there isn’t enough time in your day if you do this truthfully and realistically then you are attempting to do too much.  If you don’t have anything to assign time to perhaps you aren’t pulling your weight. 

4.   On your calendar, schedule the time to complete each task. 

 

Now all you have to do is work your plan.  You will be surprised how powerful this can be. For me, I like to cross off the items as I complete them and I like to schedule the difficult “have to” tasks first.  That makes the end of my week work so much better. 

 

I’ve seen lots of time management models similar to this before and you can adapt this to your own plan or find another one, but the key is to plan your week so you can be more productive and less stressed.   Try this for a couple of weeks and see how it goes.

Sadly, as someone who studies marriages, I see more and more marriages that are just going through the routines of marriage without really enjoying the journey.  At the same time, I do know couples who have learned how to make their marriage work for the good of both spouses and are truly enjoying life together.  My wife and I want to be included in the latter group. 

 

What does it take to put or keep fun in a marriage?  Here are a few tips I shared recently at a pastor’s retreat: 

 

Prioritize your marriage

Make your marriage a priority in your life.  All of us would say that our marriage is a priority, but do we practice what we believe?    Our marriage should take precedence over every other human relationship and every other activity.  My wife knows when I am putting her first and when something else has my greatest attention. 

 

Schedule time for fun

We should schedule time to simply enjoy life with our souse.  Everyone I know is busy, but we should make sure our schedule never gets too crowded to enjoy time with the love of our life.  As a pastor I am never really “off work”, but I try to “be home” when I am home.  Still, I will often hear my wife or my children ask me something like, “Are you really listening to me or are you thinking about your next appointment?”  We must set boundaries between our home and our work or other activities.  We should schedule opportunities to have fun together.  When is the last time you and your wife went on a date? 

 

Let worry go

Life is full of struggles.  Struggles will never completely disappear, but we should learn how to balance the need for control in our lives and the desire to live at peace and trust God through the hard times of life.  It is important that we not allow struggles that come into the marriage to tear the marriage apart, but instead we should let our trials draw us closer to each other.  

 

Expect surprises

Stuff happens!  We know that; we see bad things happen everyday, but for some reason we are caught off guard when they happen to us.  We should not be surprised when our marriage needs a little extra help because of the struggles of life. 

 

Celebrate along the way

I have been told that it takes three or four positive life occurrences to offset every negative.  If this is true then each of us need to look for opportunities to celebrate the good things of life.  When times are especially stressful my wife and I try to make sure we are remembering the positives in life.  They are always there, but we have to sometimes look for them.  Recently in an especially stressful week on an especially tedious day, my wife and I were slightly tense with each other.  One of our boys said something, which may have otherwise seemed insignificant any other time, but helped us remember on this day how blessed we have been together. 

 

Enjoy each other’s interests

It’s okay to have outside interests, but one of the goals of marriage is to enjoy life together.  That usually involves enjoying each other’s activities together.  I don’t like to shop necessarily, and there are certain stores where I refuse to shop, but I go shopping regularly with my wife because I love my wife and she loves shopping.  It’s always amazed me that when I invest the time to shop with my wife she always tries to give back to me by allowing me to enjoy one of my interests. 

 

Get away

We all need time away from everything.  On a pastor’s income I can’t usually take fancy vacations, but I am not afraid to invest in my marriage.  My wife and I love to travel.  One of our more fun things to do together is to plan an inexpensive day trips.  There is something about physically leaving the environment in which we are comfortable that pushes us closer to the ones we love. 

 

Serve Together

We have discovered that the more we serve other people together the more fun we have in our marriage.  Taking mission trips have become a fun way to spend time together.  Serving our church together brings us closer to each other. 

 

Little things matter

Moments in a marriage that may seem to be minor details have the potential for major impact on the marriage relationship.  It is important to handle little issues or conflict before they become big things.  If a husband and wife have a minor disagreement it can easily escalate into a major division in the relationship if left unattended. 

 

We should also allow little pleasures to bring happiness to the marriage. One of my favorite times of day is the walk my wife and I take around the neighborhood in the afternoon.  That few minutes each day keeps us close relationally and helps me to see my wife in a fun setting. 

 

Laugh at life

I read a statistic once that preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day.  Adults laugh an average of 17 times a day.  The older we get the less we laugh.  Laughter is good for our health and laughing together builds stronger relationships.  Couples need to learn to laugh through life together. 

 

Dream together

When couples are dating they seem to have fun discussing their future plans.  Once we get married we tend to lose the art of dreaming.  Dreaming inspires and encourages the heart.  Dreaming together as a couple keeps the relationship fueled with new passions and desires. 

 

Spread the pain

I am trying to model my pastoral responsibilities like the Acts 6 model in the Bible.  I am learning that I cannot do everything.  I shouldn’t try to live my life alone.  Don’t be afraid to say “no” in order to protect your marriage.  Many couples I know are so busy they never have time just for the two of them.  It is also important, however, to have some close friends with whom we can share life’s burdens.  None of us were meant to live on an island to ourselves and the same is true for married couples.   

 

 

Try these steps and see if the fun comes back into your marriage.  Marriage is supposed to be fun! 

 

 

 

 

This is a guest post from my son Nate (www.nateedmondson.com).  Wish I had written this:

A popular phrase that gets tossed around in church world a lot is the phrase “God thing”. A God thing is when something happens that can’t be explained and it becomes apparent that God was behind the scenes working everything out. Real God things are very incredible and can really change people’s perspective on who God is, but I think the church as a whole has started to become too quick to label stuff “God things”.

I don’t want to publicly criticize anyone in particular, so I’m going to try and be careful with this explanation, but the reason I started thinking about this whole “God thing” idea is because of a recent use of the phrase that I thought seemed a little skeptical. There was an event that had been planned for months and about a week or so before a few details hadn’t been worked out yet. Thankfully everything ended up working out and the event was a success. After the event was underway and all systems were functional one of the leaders of this event made the statement, “man.. it’s just really a God thing. We had a lot of last minute details fall through on us and I’m just so pleased God worked everything out to his glory..”

I don’t mean to be judgemental or criticize the intent of this person’s heart, but it seems to me like this is an example of where the phrase “God thing” is not exactly relevant. A God thing is when something unexpected happens and God works everything out in a supernatural, unexplainable way; not when the person in charge is lazy and neglects the responsibility that GOD gave them, and then manages to throw something together at the last minute and the final result is just ok.

God things are amazing miracles… not an excuse for poor planning.

Bottom Line: Leaders in the church world don’t get to work less and not stress over details simply because they’re expecting a God thing; a Godly leader does everything to his or her ability and then lets God work out what they have no control over. A detail that was never thought through is not a detail that can be rescued by a God thing.

Today we elect a new president.  Will your man be selected?  What if he’s not?

 

One of the disappointments to me in current culture is the disregard we have for the office of presidency.  I realize President George W. Bush is experiencing historic low approval ratings, but he is still the Commander-in-Chief.  Regardless of our agreement or disagreement with the person in office, as believers I think we have an obligation to respect the office and the office holder.  That goes for John McCain or Barrack Obama.  Tomorrow it will either be President McCain or President Obama. 

 

Romans 13 is clear that our responsibility is to submit to authorities.  This doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything they do or even work to change their policies.  It certainly doesn’t mean we have to reelect them in four years.  It does mean that we are to show them respect as we criticize them and as we disagree, because they are the elected leader of our nation. 

 

My best example of this is in my own family.  My boys may not always agree with me.  I am certainly not always respectable.  They are expected, because of my position, to always respect me.  They don’t have to agree with me.  As they become adults they may not even have to obey me, but my position as their father should garner their respect.  (I hope they are reading!)

One of the most frequent struggles Cheryl and I have encountered in ministry is infertility.  It’s a common, yet hidden pain in the church. Combine that with the fact that thousands of children are orphaned and need someone to love them unconditionally and you have a perfect recipe for one of those “I’ll never understand” things that God will have to explain to me someday. 

 

A solution that has worked for many is ADOPTION.  Grace Community Church in Clarksville has a free Adoption Seminar on Saturday, November 15^, 2008 from 9 AM to 12 PM.  The seminar will provide valuable information for people considering and wanting to adopt.  We will be giving professional information about domestic (independent and agency adoption), international adoption and foster care, as well as, sharing personal stories and experiences. 

 

For more information or to register go to: http://www.AdoptionClarksville.com