Cheryl and I had been married a few years when we began working together in a business we owned.  One day I went into the employee break room and found a sign on the vending machine.  The sign read:

This machine doesn’t give change correctly. 

Thanks,

Cheryl Edmonson

That would have been okay, except that the name is Edmondson.  I knew we had a problem when my wife couldn’t spell my last name.  Thankfully it was just a typing error, but it has remained something I tease her about from time to time. (Like now.) 

Does it bother you when someone can’t spell your name? What if the person misspelling your name is someone who has known you for years?  Does that bother you? 

Some people are detail people; some are not, and maybe this should be one of those that we just dismiss as an unnecessary detail, but to me it just seems you would want to know how to spell a friend’s name.  Here’s the deal.  I may not remember your name, (probably not) but if I do, I will attempt to know how to spell it. 

My name has always been misspelled, but it seems that over the last few months it has been so more than usual; often by people I would have thought knew how it was spelled.

Just in case you are wondering; the name is EDMONDSON.  Not Edmonson or Edmundson or Emonston. 

EDMONDSON.  Thanks.  I feel better. 

I want to encourage you to write a letter today (if needed). 

In counseling couples and individuals who are experiencing difficulty in a relationship I have often encouraged them to practice the art of letter-writing.  Most of the time I would try to help them improve their one-to-one communication skills, but there are some things easier and better to express on paper than in person.   For example, a letter may be needed when a couple cannot communicate without arguing; when one person refuses to listen to reason or even give the other person an audience, or when one person is so intimidating to talk to that a point is hard to make with them verbally.  Some things seem to convey more importance and get closer attention if they are written rather than just spoken. 

A letter allows you to think through what you have to say and cuts down on reactionary arguments that come when trying to discuss something controversial.  A letter will usually be read several and even many times; further enforcing the points you are trying to make.  A letter is harder to dismiss than a verbal conversation.  Please note, this is also NOT email.  This is letter writing.  That requires a paper and pen, or at least a printer and paper.  Email quickly becomes an exchange of ideas that can almost be as counter-productive as the verbal communication.  It’s too easy to hit the “reply” button quickly with emails. 

I’m not advocating that you avoid personal conversations, but if the situation calls for it, here are some things to remember before writing your letter. 

1.      Spend as much time praying about it as you spend writing the letter.

2.      Edit; then edit, and then edit again. (Again if needed.)

3.      Write with an end goal to benefit the receiver and the overall situation in mind.  (This should eliminate some things you probably shouldn’t say anyway.) 

4.      Just as you should do in verbal communication, don’t attack the person; address the issue. Leave personal jabs out of the letter.  (This is what editing is all about.)

5.      Try to express your true heart; not your anger.  Remember, you are attempting to say those things, which for whatever reason, you aren’t able to say effectively in person.   Don’t lose your audience by “going off” on the person. 

6.      The goal is not to be a martyr; no one responds well to that approach. The goal is to be transparent and communicate effectively. 

7.      Make sure you dedicate as much or even more time focusing on the part you have played in developing a bad relationship or situation. If an apology is needed, give it clearly and completely in the letter. 

8.      Be clear about the points you are trying to convey.  Read them back to yourself.  This is one of the best benefits of letter writing.  You have the opportunity to clearly think through your response; so don’t lose your chance here. 

9.      Before you send the letter, ask yourself: “How would I respond if someone sent this letter to me?”

10.  This is not a miracle cure, so don’t expect immediate results. The person may not respond the way you would have them to and you may not even know they read the letter.  You can be assured they will! 

I hope you never have to write the type letter discussed in this post.  Chances are, however, if you live a normal life there will be a few situations that merit the true art of letter writing.  Write well!

Every believer wants to hear from God. We want to know “Is this God?” “Is this what He is telling me to do?”

We often listen for the grandiose voice of God and sometimes God speaks that way, but many times God is more subtle than that. Often God speaks through those quiet moments, through other people, and through life’s circumstances. In a crowded world of noise and life distractions sometimes it’s hard to understand what God is saying. How do we take the circumstance of life, as mixed up and confusing as they can be, and figure out what God could be saying to us?

Here are some guidelines to hearing God speak through the circumstances of life.

Mirror your circumstances with the truth of God’s Word. God will never contradict Himself. He will never speak to us through our circumstances in a way that will contradict His written word.

God uses people to confirm His voice. God often sends people into our path to confirm His will for our life. People who attempt to follow God with their life can help us to hear from God.

Recognize that God operates from a plan. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Rick Warren has sold millions of books telling us that we should live our life with a purpose…God’s purpose.

Examine your circumstances in light of God’s overall plan. When trying to hear from God through the circumstances of life, we should not try to make a decision on one event or set of circumstances. Circumstances may or may not be God speaking to us. We should look at our life over a span of months or years. Jeremiah 29:11 indicates that God has a definite plan to proper us and give us hope. When we look at our life over time we will be able to see what God has been doing. When the circumstances of life consistently line up over time with God’s overall plan it is possible that God is trying to speak through those circumstances.

Don’t allow circumstances to keep you from hearing or obeying God. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 16:8-9 (NIV) “But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.” The common sense thing to do when everyone opposes you would be to leave, but Paul knew the circumstances were not indicative of God’s will for his life. Sometimes our circumstances may look gloomy, but we haven’t heard the truth of our circumstances until we have heard from God.

Ask God to show you His perspective on the circumstances. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV) As followers of God we will spend our whole life trying to discern the will of God for our life; listening for His voice. If we desire to hear from God through our circumstances we must intently listen for the voice of God. Hearing from God is not always easy. When life is coming at us we cannot seem to understand what is going on, we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for clarification. We should feel free to ask, “God what did you mean by that?”

Remember: God’s primary desire in speaking is for eternal purposes. We limit God to this finite world when we fail to remember He is an infinite God. When we are trying to discern God’s voice through the circumstances of life we should consider how what is happening around us fits into God’s eternal plan to save a lost world from destruction and to mold His children into the image of His Son. God’s primary activity will be in these areas of our life.

Hearing from God is critical for the children of God to know God’s will for our life. Our mission is to learn how to hear His voice. We must listen intently and carefully for His voice through the crowd of noises in the world in which we live. Thankfully God has not given up on us, but is still speaking to His people today.

My whole world has changed. I’ve been a certified administer of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for several years.  I have prided myself in knowing personalities and quickly helping people identify their “type”.  Recently, with the help of my son Nate, I’ve reevaluated my own type.  I’m convinced I’ve been wrong. 

I always thought I was an ISTJ.  Reading the descriptions recently at http://typelogic.com/

I realized I am really an INTJ.  I’m a whole new person now.  If you want to know more about me read some of the description of an INTJ from the site.  This describes me perfectly. 

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of “definiteness”, of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise — and INTJs can have several — they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don’t know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion “Does it work?” to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the “Systems Builders” of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be “slacking,” including superiors, will lose their respect — and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ’s Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to “work at” a relationship. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

(Description by Marina Margaret Heiss for http://typelogic.com/)

In the modern workplace, information is the power to help employees have the motivation to succeed and reach the vision of an organization.  Unfortunately this is missing in many organizations today.  Information in the form of the company’s goals, future plans, and the mindset of executive leadership is what fuels a sense of ownership and encourages a team spirit. 

Today’s “information age” workforces, especially those who have entered within the last ten years, want to be a part of something that has lasting value.  In order to insure this value is met, they feel a need to understand why they are doing what they are asked to do.  They want to feel they can contribute to shaping the company’s path.  They want to participate in the planning of the organizations future. 

The boss who says or thinks “Because I said so” will not be as successful in today’s culture. 

I’m learning with blogging that I don’t need to be too quick to post.  It’s not a quick firing off thing like Twitter can be for me.  I posted about churches having an agreement before I investigated the story anymore and turns out it was satire.  Glad Twitter corrected me.  Lesson learned.  I took the post down. 

Sorry for those who may still get this post by email.  At least they’ll get this too. 

BTW, I also learned that this is a personality flaw for me. More on that in a upcoming post this week.

Have you noticed how quickly people rise to fame and power these days?  As our culture embraces rapid change, we seem much quicker to assign fame, fortune, power and leadership to people than in the past.

Consider the presidential race this year. Barack Obama was a relative unknown state senator just four years ago, now he’s running for president and known worldwide.  Last week Sarah Palin was introduced as John McCain’s Vice Presidential running mate.  She was a small town mayor until becoming Alaska’s governor just two years ago.  

Young career writer Ryan Paugh, who has a blog called Brazen Careerist, recently wrote, “When I hear older generations talk about Generation Y having to pay their dues, I get a little sick to my stomach.  He goes on to say there are more important things than the big job, but his comment does seem to resonate with the current generation more than ever before. 

There are probably plenty of reasons for this trend; mainly the technological advances of our society.  It is easier to become known to a larger audience much quicker than in years past simply by becoming a blogger or a news figure.  News travels much faster than before. 

I’m not complaining. It’s part of our culture.  It just means that opportunities abound for young leaders to grow in responsibility quickly if they can attractively present their skills.  It also means that organizations, companies and churches must open the door for fast raising leaders.  For more on that thought, read my post Do you Lead Leaders or Followers?  

In my leadership experience there are two kinds of leaders.   Every leader has followers or they wouldn’t be able to lead, but among leaders there are those who are willing to lead leaders and those who will only lead followers.  Sadly I have witnessed many pastors who fall into “follower only” category, refusing to allow leaders to develop in the church.   Their fear of losing control or being upstaged causes them to keep laypeople from becoming leaders within the church.

That’s not to say that we don’t need to lead followers, because of course we do.  Some of the best workers in an organization and in the church are those who care nothing about leadership.  Plus, it’s hard to be a good leader until one learns to follow.  At some point, however, those with the propensity towards leadership in any organization will want an opportunity to lead. 

When those who are in the position of followers begin to lead the real leadership skills of the person at the top of the organization are tested.  The leader of leaders allows other leaders to develop in the organization, gives them freedom to dream and gives new leaders a sense of ownership in their area of responsibility.  They recognize that as leaders develop the entire organization advances and everyone wins.  The leader of followers, on the other hand, tries to keep followers from ever becoming leaders. 

It’s easier to lead only followers.  They will do what is requested of them, they are loyal and not usually as critical.  Every organization needs followers.  If someone remains a follower, however, they aren’t usually interested in taking the organization to the next level.  They wait for leaders to do that. 

Reversely, when a person is stifled from realizing their full potential as a leader they will eventually either leave the organization or cause problems within the organization.  I have especially seen this take place in the church. The organization as a whole suffers because they are limited to the level of success which can be realized by the intimidated top leader who refuses to let other leaders develop.   If an organization allows people a chance to lead the organization’s potential for growth increases immensely.

Decide for yourself.  Do you want to lead leaders or only lead followers?  Personally, I prefer to lead leaders. 

In today’s message we looked in Luke 5 at the story where Jesus called His first disciples.  He asked them to trust Him by faith, even though they were in their own time of uncertainty. They were fishermen who had caught no fish.  In their culture…no fish…meant they didn’t get paid that day.  Who could know if there would be fish tomorrow?  Could this have been a week with no fish?  Having been self-employed I know what it’s like to face the uncertainty of cash flow. Still, in the midst of their uncertainty, Jesus called them to their greatest show of obedience.  Because of their willingness to face the unknown and walk by faith, God used them in incredible ways to launch His Kingdom.

We considered 5 principles about times of uncertainty in our own life from this story. 

1. Times of uncertainty will come.  They are a part of life.

2. The fact that uncertainty causes you to question or be afraid doesn’t upset God.  God’s plan is not diverted because of our periods of doubt. 

3. Faith that is developed through uncertainty produces some of God’s greatest work.

4. In spite of uncertainty ultimately we need to have faith. 

5. Uncertainty is not a call to give up.  It’s a call to surrender more of ourselves to Christ. 

To hear this message, go to our podcast site and listen to: What To Do During Uncertain Times.