I’m conducting a very official hygiene opinion poll. Results will be tabulated and sent to the Harvard School of Family Behavioral Sciences for further evaluation. (Just kidding…it’s not official. You didn’t fall for that though did you?)
My family is divided on a hygiene issue. Let me explain. Jeremy, our oldest son, moved out a few weeks ago to live at the fraternity house near the college he attends in our city. He came home this past weekend to be here. We have better food than the fraternity house. He forgot to bring his toothbrush. Of course the fraternity house is a good 4 miles from our house, so it would have been much too far for him to drive to get it, so in lieu of having his own toothbrush (Apparently as you will see, we are a weird family in that everyone has their own) he decided to use mine. When I realized this I threw up (vomited).
I confronted my family about this serious health violation and we were split in our opinion on the wrongness of this act. Cheryl and Jeremy think this is an okay thing to do if you need a toothbrush. They seem to believe you can share germs and bacteria if you are related. (“Just run some hot water on it”, they said.) Nathaniel agreed with me saying, “That is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard of.” In an attempt to break a tie vote I asked Jeremy’s girlfriend her opinion. I was sure she would agree with me. She didn’t. She responded with the same “Run hot water over it” answer.
I need your help. Will you agree with me that using someone else’s toothbrush is WRONG? Don’t you think it would be better to brush your teeth with your finger than to use someone else’s toothbrush?
In the meantime, I have purchased new toothbrushes and all their handles have been wrapped with masking tape. I’ve warned anyone who touches them that they face cruel and unusual punishment.