Congratulations! These folks won the book “I Quit!”

Here’s a book I requested to give away on my blog. I don’t know the author, and honestly I don’t remember how I received this book, perhaps as a request to write a review. Either way, I kept staring at the title and decided to read it. “I Quit!: Stop Pretending Everything Is Fine and Change Your Life” by Geri Scazzero is written by a busy pastor’s wife, who had just about burnt out on the church, because of the demands placed upon her. In “I Quit”, Scazzero learns to create healthy boundaries, which protect her heart and family in ministry and life. While I don’t agree with every method she used to get these boundaries, the principles in this book are helpful for everyone who struggles with balancing demands and has a hard time saying “No”.

There are lots of Amazon reviews, both good and bad, but one stuck out to me. Read what Ruth Graham wrote about this book:

‘I needed this book. I was running on empty trying to meet others’ expectations of me. Geri helped me diagnose my situation and gave me practical, applicable, biblical ways to address it. Thank you, Geri. This is a must-read. It is freeing!’ — Ruth Graham

I figure if Ruth Graham needed this book, perhaps you and I will find use a well.

If you’d like to win a copy of “I Quit”, I’m giving away 5 copies this weekend. Here is what you need to do:

• RT on Twitter or share on Facebook this post.
• Comment on this post with your name. (Make sure I have a valid email address)

I’ll choose 5 random winners Tuesday morning.

A reader sent me a great question recently. He wrote: Do you think Christians should flash their lights to warn of cars on the road of an approaching radar patrol or police car?

I don’t know…but I think it’s a good question. I thought I’d let you help answer.

What do you think?

Do you think this is a gray area or is it cut and dry?

How do you make decisions for situations like this?

Are there other issues like this where you think Christians have to think through in this way?

God said something to me today!

I’ll be honest, as someone who is supposed to teach others how to have a relationship with God, and to actually hear from God, I’m always somewhat startled when He chooses to speak to me. Anyway, today He said something to me.

Let me set up the scenario for you, so you’ll understand the context.

This week I’m at the beach. My oldest son, Jeremy, is getting married and our youngest son Nate is his best man. I get to perform the ceremony. How cool is that? Anyway, this morning I went for my normal morning run. When I’m out of town I normally run further, because the scenery changes, so I ran 4 1/2 miles before I realized how long I’d been running. I decided to stop, buy a drink, and sit and look at the beach for a few minutes, before running back.

As I was sitting there, I became enchanted with the size and power of the waves. I watched a little boy running away from them, and nearly get knocked down by one. I saw a couple walking the beach get splashed unexpectedly. Mostly, however, I just saw the beach being pounded by wave after wave after wave. I have been to the beach many times and I never get tired of watching the ocean display God’s glory. In that moment, I did as I’ve done so many times before…I bragged to God about His handiwork.

I prayed, “God, this is so majestic; so powerful, and You made it all. Every wave I’m seeing today was shaped by You! You are so incredible and worthy to be praised! What a mighty God I serve!”

Have you ever had such emotions flood you when you see God’s creation? Which part of His creation brings those kind of thoughts to your mind?

Anyway, as I was praying, I sensed God say something else. It was almost as if He said, “Hold on Ron, (I always love that He knows my name) you’re talking so fast and thinking so big, you may have missed something.” I paused to listen to the God I was talking to and it seems I heard Him say:

“In the process of thinking BIG, don’t forget to think small.”

I looked down and saw the sand all around me. I was instantly reminded that God made every grain of sand. I’ve been told that no two grains are the same. My God knows each one of them and the Bible seems to indicate God may know how many grains there are…I think He does. Instantly, this passage came to my mind:

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:17-18

I don’t know exactly all God was teaching me in that moment. I know I’m a big thinker. I always have a new dream. I don’t think He was telling me not to think big. I’ll obviously never out-think Him and He tends to stretch us towards big dreams in HIs word (…no eye has seen…no mind has conceived…what God has prepared…).

For now, I think He was simply, kindly and gently reminding me that “In the process of thinking BIG, don’t forget to think small.” I’ll continue to process that thought and how it may apply to my life in the weeks to come.

Do you have insight or thoughts for me as to what that could mean? What could that mean if you applied what God said in your own life?

BTW, If you are struggling to hear from God you may consider reading this previous post:

Hearing a Word from God

Has God been saying anything to you lately? I’d love for you to share it here.

In what I do, if I don’t know how to communicate with people I don’t already know, I won’t be very successful.

I have an occasion to speak to strangers frequently. Thankfully, our church attracts dozens of new visitors each week, I’m invited to speak other places often, and I encounter new people daily through this blog. I’m learning (it’s a continual process) that there are some specific ways I should and shouldn’t speak publicly to someone who doesn’t know me well. Most of these are true to any audience, but especially for an audience of visitors or strangers.

Here are 4 do’s and 4 dont’s when talking to people you’ve never met.

DON’T:

Don’t take them somewhere before they are ready to go - Let your audience warm up to you before you hit them with truths they may not even believe. You want to speak truth, but you want to earn the trust so they will actually listen. In a message, it’s important to open with a personal illustration or story that let’s your audience get to know you. On my blog, the “About” page is one of the most popular.

Don’t keep then longer than they want to stay – It’s awkward and sometimes uncomfortable to visit somewhere new or unknown. You’ll make it less awkward if you don’t keep them beyond their comfort level before they get to know you. Longer messages may work once people get to know you, but for visitors and first-timers, short and sweet usually makes them feel more comfortable.

Don’t tell them more than they want to know - Especially in a first encounter, people need the opportunity to get to know you before they really trust what you have to say. Answer their initial questions without telling them everything you know and hope for another encounter. In a message or in a blog, when the point is clear, don’t beat a dead horse. Learn to speak succinctly.

Don’t make them wonder what you’re talking about - Understand that people visiting may not be from your culture or have your background. They may not immediately understand your vocabulary. Use language they can understand, and when there aren’t other words, explain it to them enough so they will understand the terminology you are using. This is true for us when we do “church” things, like baby dedications, baptisms, or take communion. If it’s confusing to them, they are less likely to come back.

DO:

Do make them feel welcome - It’s important to put your audience at ease quickly and make them feel they are welcome in the room. Again, this is where something personal helps them get to know you. If I can make my audience laugh in the first few minutes that’s great. If I can make them laugh, shed a tear, and reflect soon into my message…home run! Now obviously that’s not possible every time, but the more you can learn to connect quickly, the more chance you have of keeping their attention.

Do make them feel loved - People feel loved when they aren’t criticized, made to feel bad about themselves, or like they are alone. In a message, or potentially hard-hitting blog post, it’s important for me to include myself in the struggle. Let’s face it, sharing truth can be convicting, but it shouldn’t be presented as if the speaker is immune from the struggle.

Do help them trust you - People only listen to people they trust, especially in a way that solicits a favorable response. Trust is gained by authenticity. Be honest with your audience. You may not know everything and it’s okay to let them know that. You aren’t perfect and they already know that, just be honest enough to tell them where you aren’t. They’ll sense when you aren’t transparent and hold it against you during your message.

Do help them process - The goal should be to leave the audience with a way to act on what you’ve given them. People need a challenge and they need to know clearly the next steps. In a message I try to close with some practical ways to implement the truth or a personal challenge. In a blog post I may ask a question to help someone reflect on how the post relates to them. It’s important to help them process the message further.

There are a few of my suggestions. By the way, some or all of these work in other vocations too…such as in sales or when making business presentations.

What would you add to my list?

It seems every time I Tweet, preach or write a blogpost about forgiveness it stirs people. Most of us must struggle with this issue at some point in our life.

With that in mind, here are my top posts about forgiveness:

8 Reminders for Granting True Forgiveness

7 Things Forgiveness is Not…

7 Things Forgiveness Is…

3 Benefits of Forgiveness

Gayle Haggard on Grace and Forgiveness

7 Ways to Offer True Forgiveness

The Blessing of Offering Forgiveness

I Am Sorry…Asking Forgiveness…Receiving Grace

Is it easy for you to forgive? Has it gotten easier?

Many leaders avoid conflict at any cost…

It seems this is true especially of pastors…

Yet conflict is often necessary for healthy relationships…

When needed conflict is avoided, people grow bitter, relationship development stalls, and teams suffer…

Here’s one thing I’ve learned about conflict…

Perhaps this well motivate you to confront what you need to confront…

Conflict, when handle correctly, often turns out better than expected…

It does…

Many times your worst fear doesn’t come true…

It doesn’t turn out to be a fight…

The conflict produces positive results…

People and teams get better…

You become a better leader…

Don’t be afraid to try a little…

A little healthy conflict may be just what you need to protect you, others, and the team…

Be honest: Do you typically run from conflict, or do you embrace conflict if needed?

Is there some conflict you’ve been avoiding that you know is needed for the health of your team?

You may want to read:

10 Tips for Handling Conflict

How Is Your Organization Handling Conflict?

The larger our church gets the more I have to say no…

It’s become a necessity…

To maintain my health, the health of my family and the church, I have to discipline myself to say no more often…

No I can’t counsel you, but I can refer you to someone….

No I can’t do your wedding, but I know someone who can…

No I can’t meet with you today, but we can look at something next week…

No I can’t answer that question, but I know where we can get an answer…

No I won’t be at your dinner party, but I’m certain it would have been a blast…

It’s not that I wouldn’t rather say yes…

It’s an “easier” answer at the time…

It certainly pleases more people…

But….

In order for me to do an adequate job at the things I must do such as leading and developing staff, preaching and vision casting I have to say no to things I might wish to do, but simply can’t…

I wonder if this isn’t necessary for pastors regardless of the church size…

If you’re not saying no to anything is your yes even worth as much these days…

Are you truly able to do a descent job with all the demands on your time?

Pastors, is it difficult for you to say no?

Are you offended if you pastor has to say no to your request?

“In that day I will restore David’s fallen tent. I will repair its broken places, restore its ruins, and build it as it used to be” (declares the Lord) Amos 9:11 NIV

Yesterday I posted my thoughts on Harold Camping’s now failed prediction of the end of the world on May 21, 2011. (You can read that post HERE). We know that prediction didn’t come true, and most are relieved, but I can’t help but wonder if some are disappointed.

Do you have any broken places in the “tent” of your life? Are you ready for them to be restored? What Camping was promising would have been relief for many believers.

It seems hardly a day goes by that I do not encounter someone going through a struggle in life. That’s among those people inside and outside the church. We are experiencing the heartache and pain of a broken world.

May I offer this as hope as we continue in this path of life: Restoration is on its way! In the meantime, God’s Spirit stands ready to assist you in your time of need!

Jesus is going to return! At the very breath through the Father’s mind, Jesus will mount a great white stallion, whose rider is called Faithful and True, and He will, in a mighty display of His glory, bring victory to the people of God. The broken places will be made whole. Everyone will finally know that there is but One God, and He is Maker and Ruler of all things.

Jesus will come quickly, with a shout, and we will be brought before the Throne of the Almighty, where God will permanently and personally wipe every tear from our eyes. We will be with the Lord forever!

Are you ready for that glorious day? It didn’t come yesterday…but it’s coming!

Will this be my last post ever? It will be according to a recent prediction. It’s been the buzz all week, so perhaps you heard it.

Christian radio host Harold Camping states that the Rapture (the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will take place on May 21, 2011 at 6 p.m. local time.  The rapture will sweep the globe time zone by time zone) and that the end of the world as we know it will take place five months later on October 21, 2011. (This according to a Wikipedia article.)

It’s been the subject of jokes, and teasing, and possibly some concern. What if it were the end?

I’m not jumping on a bandwagon of people making fun of Camping, nor am I going to assume no one is impacted by Camping’s prediction. The issue of End Times is serious business. It’s a sobering subject for some, as the subject should be.

I’m reminded of the concern of Jesus’ disciples following the resurrection. Consider Jesus’ answer in this passage from Acts 1:6-8:

So when the apostles were with Jesus, they kept asking him, “Lord, has the time come for you to free Israel and restore our kingdom?” He replied, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

For the believer, this should never be a time of stress. I’m leery of anyone claiming to know a date, but Jesus said it would be soon and we would know the signs. He also reminded us, however, that we should not be afraid, that we could cast all our burdens on Him, and that He was with us to the ends of the earth. I’m not stressed today, not because I don’t believe Camping, even though I don’t, but because I have a faith in the person of Jesus Christ, who raised from the dead!

If you are not a believer; a follower of Christ, let this moment soon to pass cause you to question where you stand with your Creator. Eternity is not a laughing matter. Call on God now and ask Him to save you. Place your faith in the risen Christ! I would refer you to another verse in Acts 2:21: “But everyone who calls on the name of the Lordwill be saved.”

If you serve a risen Savior, let me hear a hearty AMEN!

For the next several weeks, the memory verse will be from Romans, looking at what has been called “The Roman Road”. I am not one who believes it takes a formula to be saved, it takes a change of heart, believing in the One God raised from the dead…Jesus…but sometimes a script can help a person process through what seems to be complex information. That’s what the Roman Road has done for many.

Romans has been described as one comprehensive look at what it means to be a believer; from start to finish. If you study this book well, you’ll have a great understanding of who you are in Christ.

Here is this week’s memory verse:

Some Romans Road scripts will not start with this verse, but I always do. It reminds me why I’m willing to share my faith.

Will you commit to memorizing this Roman Road with me over the next few weeks? It could change someone’s life…perhaps even yours!