Throw Away the Scripts

Der Film

Throw away the scripts…

They likely won’t work anyway.

Most of the time.

You can throw away the script in:

Your career.
Your relationship life
Your health
Your finances
Your personal walk with God

Yea, I wrote that…but it’s true.

I know we like scripts.

It’s easier. Less messy. Cleaner…or so it seems. More tidy.

But, scripts just don’t work. Most of the time.

You’ll seldom be able to script how long you work at one place. Just try.

You’ll seldom be able to script your relationships. Specifically, how others respond to you. I know some great attempts that failed.

You’ll seldom be able to script your health. Some of the healthiest people I know got cancer.

You’ll seldom be able to script your bank account. One tragedy and everything could be gone. I have seen it many times.

And, you’re walk with God. You’ll seldom be able to understand all the ways of God. Strive the hardest to please God, follow Him closely, and you’ll still have unanswered questions about why God allows some of the things He allows in your life. Testimony after testimony proves this.

His ways are higher than your ways…remember?

I’m not saying don’t have a plan.

I’m not saying not to set an end goal or destination. That would be dumb.

Yea. I wrote that. Dumb.

It would be. You’ll seldom hit a target you didn’t aim to hit.

I’m talking about the script. The “dialogue” along the way. The journey to accomplish the vision. The details. The way things get done or accomplished. Don’t be afraid when you sometimes have to color outside the lines.

The script.

Throw it away.

I see so many people stress about the details of life…the things outside their ability to control…that they miss the joy in the journey.

When people completely rely on a script, they sometimes fall apart when things don’t go exactly as written. They have a hard time getting back into character.

And, yet, the show must go on…

Things will seldom turn out just as planned. Granted, having a plan helps you adjust accordingly and more easily, so I say have one…I even write posts telling you how…but the script will seldom live up to the paper it’s written on. Certainly not in every scene.

Throw away the script. You’ll stress less when you can’t remember the lines.

3 Critical Learning Environments

success learn lead

I believe in lifetime learning. The best leaders I know are always learning something new.

If you’ve followed this blog long you know I tend to like simplification. Some would say over-simplification. I like information presented in an easy to understand and follow format.

So…if you want to be a lifetime learner…

Here 3 learning environments:

Learning by experience – This is where you learn by doing. It could be during success or failure. Life is a great teacher. You can’t necessarily avoid this one. It happens. You do get to choose your reactions to the experience you learn. Choose well.

Learning by influence – This is where mentoring takes place. It’s gaining insight through another person’s wisdom, often gained by their experience or education. You can easily avoid this one. Ignore help. Dismiss advice or constructive criticism. Or, you can welcome input. Find mentors. Glean from others. Let iron sharpen iron. Choose well.

Learning by education – This can be classroom or text book learning. It may be at a conference or seminar. It’s acquiring more academic knowledge. This is a choice too. Choose well.

That’s the three I’ve experienced in my journey. All three have been vital to shaping who I am as a person, pastor and a leader. I have learned I must be intentional if I’m going to continually be learning in each of these ways.

Which one are you missing most at this time? Do you need to better learn from your own experience? Do you need to find a mentor? Do you need to take a class or start reading more?

I’d strongly recommend you not miss any of the three.

Are there other learning environments I failed to mention?

How to Get a Boss to Notice You


I was asked by a young leader recently:

How do I get my boss’s attention?

Honestly, I think the question was premature. He’s been on the job less than a month. I told him that. He is a friend (of a friend) and so I felt the freedom to be candid with him.

He is not only premature, but also probably asking the wrong question. He wants to do well in his career, wants to hit the ground running, but doesn’t feel he has been able yet to get the boss’s attention. I’m not sure at this point, that should be his greatest concern.

But, I value the fact that he is asking the question. It shows intentionality, which I appreciate.

I realize what some of my peers are thinking at this point…arrogance…impatience….audacity. I get that. It’s true the younger generation wants to move ahead fast. Real fast. They don’t necessarily understand the term or want to “pay their dues”. They want a seat at the table of leadership today. It’s a cultural shift we have made. I get that. I’m not even opposed to it. One of my favorite things to do is to invest in younger leaders and part of that is by giving them a seat at the table.

The reality is, though, in fairness to the boss, it would be hard to judge the system in such a short time. He may pay attention to this young leader if he does nothing else. Give it time.

But, again, I appreciate the fact that this young leader wants to make a difference enough to be noticed.

So here is my advice.

If you want your boss to notice you:

Be respectful  - The leader needs to know you recognize and appreciate the position he or she holds. That’s important whether or not you agree with the leader. If he or she doesn’t feel respected, you are unlikely to gain any attention.

Do great work

Be consistent – Consistency over time almost always leads to respect.

Do great work

Be resourceful – Especially today and in this economy, leaders are having to find ways to do more with less. Help that happen and you are practically guaranteed a seat at the table.

Do great work

Be responsive – Responsiveness is rare these days. Answer emails promptly. Be on time. Follow through on commitments.

Do great work

Be attentive – Things change fast. If you are aware of the times and can help the organization move forward quicker, you become a valuable commodity on the team.

Do great work

Be resilient – Do you wear your feelings on your sleeves? Are you always questioning another person’s motives? Would you be considered paranoid? Those are not welcoming attitudes that invite you a position to the table.

Do great work

Be exceptional - Normal is…well…normal. Exceptional is rare. If you want to truly set yourself apart, be noticed, and advance in leadership, you have to rise above normal.

Do great work

Do you catch the “subtleties” in this post?

My best advice to gaining the attention of your boss:

Do great work

Anything you would add?

How to Welcome a New Pastor: 10 Suggestions

Handshake - extraversio

I received the following email recently:

Hi Ron

After a one-year search our church has called a new Lead Pastor. Since you (fairly) recently took on a new pastorate and it’s fresh in your mind, I’m wondering…

* What advice would you give to the congregation for how to best help him and his family?
* What specific advice would you give to existing ministerial staff in the first couple of weeks/months before/while/just-after he arrives?


Interestingly, unknown to this email writer, their new pastor is coming from the church I pastor now. It’s truly is a small world after all. He’s right. Having just gone through this process, I have some thoughts.

Here are 10 suggestions for welcoming a new pastor:

Pray for him daily – You knew I’d say that. Right? But, truly, there is no greater comfort for a pastor than to know people are praying for him. I can literally feel it at times. On an especially stressful day, I sense God’s protection by the prayers of God’s people.

Love and honor his family – This includes helping them acclimate to the community. Especially if there are still children at home, they will need more family time at home, not less. The family is stretched and stressed, out of their comfort zone and pulled in so many directions. Let him have adequate time at home. Let the family time be honored as much as his church time. Read THIS POST and THIS POST for more thoughts on this post.

Tell him your name…again – And again. And again, if necessary. Learning names may be the hardest thing a new pastor has to do. Give him ample time to learn yours.

Don’t gossip about him – If you don’t understand something…ask. Be very careful not to propagate misunderstandings. Be a positive voice for the future. Stop gossip and rumors as soon as you hear them.

Speak encouragement – Say, “Pastor, I’m here to help.” And, mean it.

Introduce him to leaders – In the church and in the community, it is helpful if the pastor knows the influencers whom he will likely encounter during his ministry. The earlier…the better.

Let him set his pace – It will take a while for him to figure out his stride. Give him your understanding during this time. He may not make every visit you want him to make. He may not place priority where you think it needs to be placed. He may not introduce change as fast as you want him to, or it may seem too fast. Let him set the pace.

Don’t offer a million suggestions – There will be time for that, but he needs time to learn the church. Most likely you’re already doing lots of things…some good and maybe some not so good. Let him learn who you are as a church before you fill his head with too many new ideas.

Don’t prejudge – He will make his own mistakes. Don’t hold a previous pastor’s mistakes against him. Don’t assume, based on his history or your expectations of him, that he will perform a certain way. He may. He may not.

Extend the honeymoon – Honestly, it usually seems too short anyway. If the pastor begins to make any changes at all, some people lose faith in him. He needs time to acclimate. He needs time to learn you and the church. Keep loving and supporting him, even when changes become harder to make and harder to accept. If God brought him there, God wants to use him there. Let God do as God intended.

Those are my suggestions. I feel the need to add to this post (even after it first published) that this is a general post, one of principle, not a specific post to your exact context. I don’t know your church or your new pastor (except in the case of the email I received…small world). This is not an endorsement of bad behavior and certainly not a suggestion that you ignore moral issues when you see them; even in the beginning days of a pastor’s ministry. But, I think we would have to agree those are the exceptions with a new pastor, not the rule. I just know, after blogging long enough, those will be the push back thoughts to this post.

Pastors, anything you would add?

Life Altering Decisions: A and B is NOT an Option


Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. 1 Kings 18:39 NIV

Elijah had placed himself in a delicate situation. He had challenged the people that he could prove who they should follow. He told them if Baal was God, then follow him, but if God, (The Real Thing) was God, then follow Him!

Elijah placed his own life in jeopardy, because they would have surely killed him had his test failed. He was the last remaining prophet of the Lord. This was an important day!

Have you ever been in one of those situations before, where your next actions could alter the course of your life?

I have….numerous times!

In those situations, what you do next will likely have lasting impact on the rest of your life. The next step is a big one…and it is the one you must take! You are in between two opposing outcomes and the future will be determined one way or another, beginning right now!

Have you ever been there?

Talk about pressure!

Elijah responded with strength, with zeal, but most importantly, with faith!

Elijah put everything on the line for God’s glory…even his very life! Rather than depend on his own strength or understanding, Elijah turned his whole being over to God. With confidence, Elijah trusted God completely.

And, guess what?

God came through! BIG TIME!

(Now is where you should say, “Duh”!)

God didn’t mess around! He came through with a God-sized blessing in Elijah’s life. He could have left Elijah standing there, but He answered Elijah’s prayer. Elijah was willing to lay down his life for God’s reputation, and God did not disappoint Elijah!

Not only did God bring forth fire to burn up the bull, but He burned up the wood, the stones, the soil….and the water in the trench! That was some fire!

But then He is an awesome God!

I don’t know what decision you are facing. I recognize that what you do next…the next step is huge. I also know you have a choice…faith in God or relying on your own strength. A and B is not an option.

Which will you choose?

The Quickest Way to Spur Change


Do you want to know the fastest way to encourage change?

Expose leaders to new ideas.

In a team environment, where people are empowered to lead, new ideas produce change.

Often faster than any other way.

I’ve tried to practice this as a leader. That’s why I encourage attending conferences when possible. I pass along blogs and podcasts. We often read books together as a staff.

As long as people are allowed to dream…and the leader doesn’t have to control everything…when the team is introduced to new ideas…ideas produce energy and momentum. As team members attempt something new, change happens. Quickly. It doesn’t have to be monumental change to create excitement. Tweaks. Slight improvements. Small adjustments. Those can create an atmosphere and an appetite for change on a team. There is always less resistance to major change when change is a part of the culture.

Recently, our staff took this principle to a new level. We used training budget and our ministerial staff and spouses traveled to Asheville, NC. We went to learn from Biltmore Baptist Church. Pastor Bruce Frank is leading an exceptional team at a church several times larger than our church. Like Immanuel, they are an older established church, but they have figured out some things we are still learning. We toured the church and then each staff member at Immanuel met with their counterpart staff member at Biltmore. We asked questions and explored their story. It was insightful.

It is an experiment. Honestly, I’m not sure how it will work yet, but I’m sure of one thing. It exposed us to some new ideas. We have some immediate changes we are considering. Our team bonded. And, there is new energy and momentum developing. That has to produce some good.

And, that’s a win for me.

Do you want to encourage to encourage change quickly? Expose your team to some new ideas.

How does your team encourage change?

After a great day of teaching…


Jesus faced the critics…

And when Jesus had finished these parables, he went away from there, and coming to his hometown he taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.” And he did not do many mighty works there, because of their unbelief. (Matthew 13:53-58 ESV)

It’s interesting to me when this occurred in the life of Jesus. If you read just prior to this passage, the disciples had finally understood something Jesus taught them. It seems that didn’t happen much in their journey with Jesus. On this occasion, Jesus had just taught them a huge principle. They got it. It was a great day. The best of days. The men He was building into, who would launch the church we know today, understood what was being taught.

That’s a great day for any teacher.

Then the critics came out of the closet.

It never seems to fail. I’ve seen it in ministry, leadership and life. The best days are often followed by the darkest days. Deliver your best message and you’ll shortly afterwards find your harshest critics. Hit the home run and you’ll find some people ready to stop the ballgame.

Don’t be surprised on those days. Don’t be dismayed. Don’t get distracted from what you are called to do.

Those days have value, if you allow them to:

  • They keep us humble.
  • They Keep us learning.
  • They keep us on our knees.
  • They keep the glory shining in the rightful place.
  • They keep us appreciative of the good days.

Are you facing the critics…even during the best of days?

Of course you are…you’re trying to be like Jesus…right?