Recently I posted 10 Lies Men Believe. As expected, whenever I post about men the women ask when I’m doing a companion post. Several women said they often believe the same lies as the men. I don’t doubt that. Some men will believe some of the lies in this list also.

Let me make this clear. I am not a woman. If you weren’t sure, now you know.

In my role as a pastor and counselor, however, I have observed the differences in men and women for years. It does appear to me that the most common lies we believe…at least the ones the enemy uses against us most often…are often different. Again, these are by observation only.

Here are 10 lies women often believe:

I will never let someone hurt me again

I can depend on this guy to meet all my needs

I think everyone is talking about me

I’m not as beautiful as she is

I can’t do that even if I try

I must do ________, so I’ll be loved

I won’t let it hurt my feelings

I’m not good enough for him

I’ll never recover from that mistake

I know this guy would never disappoint me

I continually encounter women who have been emotionally injured or heart-crippled, because they are believing lies fed by the world, broken dreams or misplaced full devotion. The only way out of a lie is with truth. You might begin by reading Psalm 139:14, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 4:8, 1 Samuel 16:7 or Proverbs 31:30.

But, since I’m not a woman…

What do you think? What other lies do women believe? Perhaps some women will educate me now

Honor God with your Body from Gcomchurch Sermons on Vimeo.

I sat with a man recently. He’s lost his job, can’t find another and it’s having an impact on his marriage. I quickly diagnosed his real problem. Not that I’m an expert in diagnosing problems, but I’ve seen this one many times and his language made it clear.

He said things like, “I used to be able to…” and “I don’t think I’ll ever…”. It seemed clear to me, so I took a chance and told him my theory. He was believing a lie.

If you’re a man, at some point, you’ve probably believed one of these lies:

I will fail if I try

I don’t measure up

I am not as good as he is

I don’t have what it takes

I can’t win

I can do this and no one will know

I can’t be honest about that

I’m the only one who has ever struggled with this

I can’t recover from that

I can’t be the spiritual leader of my home

If you’ve been hit with a setback, if you are licking your wounds from a failure, if you simply can’t find your way right now, you may be allowing the enemy, the world or your own mind to feed you some lies.

One way out of the “funk” may be to insert some truth into your life. (Look up these verses as a start: Philippians 4:13, Joshua 1:9, 1 John 4:4, Psalm 121:1.)

Which of the above lies are you currently believing?

You might also read the companion post, 10 Lies Women Believe.

My good friend Daniel Doss gets real and vulnerable to share how his popular song “Stained Glass Windows” became a song. (Daniel helped plant Grace Community Church as our first worship pastor.) If you’ve ever struggled to understand the hand of God, watch this:

To download the song, click HERE.

Thank you Daniel!

This is a guest post by Joel Garfinkle. Joel is recognized as one of the top 50 executive coaches in the U.S., having worked with many of the world’s leading companies, including Oracle, Google, Amazon, Deloitte and The Ritz-Carlton. He is the author of 7 books, including Getting Ahead: Three Steps to Take Your Career to the Next Level. Book Joel as the inspirational, motivational keynote speaker at your next event.

Here are 5 ways to be a more influential church leader:

The economically and spiritually troubling times our society faces today have resulted in significant challenges for many congregations. It is through these difficult times that church leadership is critical. It’s easy to lead your congregation when things are going well and people are generally happy; however, when your followers are plagued with social and professional strife, this is when church leaders really need to shine. Here are five tips for managing and improving your reputation as a leader so you can develop your influence within the church and lead your congregation into the next era of prosperity.

Establish a solid reputation – Your congregation needs to have complete faith that they can count on you. This reputation isn’t built on lip service, but on your history of keeping your word and getting things done. Once you’ve built this reputation, people will listen to you as an authority. They will look to you for guidance and advice.

Develop an enhanced skill set – This is often the strongest existing area for church leaders. Chances are, you are already highly skilled and proficient at your job. You are the expert they can turn to for all of their religious needs, with an abundance of knowledge in your faith. Your enhanced skill set is demonstrated through actions and a track record of helping congregation members with their spiritual needs. When your congregation has faith in your enhanced skill set, they will seek you out to answer their questions about spiritual matters.

Cultivate an executive presence – Although the term “executive presence” often has secular connotations, it is essential to becoming an effective religious leader as well. To improve in this area, you must exude confidence and assurance. Know in your head and your heart that you are guiding your followers down the correct path. If you are second-guessing yourself, your congregation will begin to second-guess you as well.

Never underestimate the power of being well-liked – First and foremost, your congregation has to like you. Unlike a business organization, you are not paying people to follow your lead. If you ask people why they chose a specific church when there are several of their faith within a reasonable distance, many will answer that their decision was at least partially based on “liking” the pastor and other church leaders. Superior likeability is needed for you to develop a solid rapport with your congregation. Although charisma is an innate skill, maintaining an optimistic outlook regardless of the circumstances can increase the natural charisma you have. Having superior likeability will result in others being inspired by you and wanting to follow your lead.

Acquire the power to persuade – Church leaders who have honed their power to persuade are able to more effectively and efficiently convince others to support their ideas and points of view. Through the power of persuasion, you can encourage people to work together toward a common purpose. Church leaders with the power to persuade are able to gain agreement and approval from people in a diverse group much more easily. To help facilitate the development of your own power of persuasion, align yourself with influential and powerful people. Aligning yourself with others who are already skilled at persuasion will magnify your own efforts and help you build your skills in this area.

What would you add to Joel’s list?

Today I’m challenging my church to join me in the Grace 10in10 Challenge. The goal is simple. Lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks. It officially starts tomorrow, but you can begin at anytime.

We are in a series called “All In”. This year, we want to be all in to whatever and whoever God calls us to be, with every aspect of our life; physically, mentally, spiritually and relationally. This challenge is a part of physically being all in.

I’ve learned by experience that I’m more productive when I feel better physically. When I’m at my optimum weight, I have more energy. Most of us could benefit from losing 10 pounds.

Could you stand to lose 10 pounds?

Join us for the Grace 10in10 Challenge.

It’s simple. Go to the Facebook page, “like” us, and play along. If you have suggestions or tips on how to lose weight, feel free to post them there. This is for accountability, not to sell a product. I’m okay with letting us know about products, videos or programs to help us, but will monitor the site and those who are clearly only here to sell or who misuse the site will be deleted. A great help will be to share low calorie recipes or exercise tips. Feel free to post your progress.

Are you in?

(Please keep in mind, this is not an offer for physical counsel or help. Don’t participate if you have any question about your health. Check with a physician if in doubt. The page is for fun and accountability only and cannot warrant or vouch for any information others post.)

Here’s a guest post from 11 year-old Mallory Fundora. Mallory and her family are active members of Grace Community Church. I love her vision and passion. She reminds me of Isaiah 11:6 “and a little child will lead them”. Be inspired…

Here are the words of Mallory Fundora:

In October 2011 I sat down to write my Christmas list for my parents, I looked around my room and I realized there was nothing I needed, nothing I wanted. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about the children in Africa, and how they weren’t going to get Christmas presents, and there was a lot of things that they needed. So, I sent my mom an email with my Christmas list, one thing on it, to help Africa.

See, in August of 2010 the Ugandan Orphan Children’s Choir came to my church to perform, and I got to meet the children, and they were amazing. They were so loving, and just wanted to hug me and hold my hand. My mom had also started doing work for a couple of organizations that helped in Uganda, so she had taught me about the children there.

The day after I sent the email my Mom and I sat down and talked about what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to help. I contacted Amazima Ministries and Project Have Hope and I told them what I wanted to do, and I asked them how I could best help them. That is how Project Yesu was born. My goals at first were simple, I wanted to raise $600 to sponsor 2 children, one from Amazima and one from Project Have Hope. When you sponsor a child, it pays for food, medicine and sends them to school. I also decided I wanted to send Christmas cards to the children in Uganda, I mean who doesn’t like to get a card, it makes you smile. So I drew two different card designs and I contacted a local printing company and asked them if they would donate the printing of 650 cards, they did.

So I started to tell people about Project Yesu, and my mom helped me start a blog so people could read about it. I met with my Children’s pastor and asked if our youth group could help me with the cards, because I wanted them to be personal, so I needed a lot of help to write out 650 cards. I also spoke to my youth group, and told them about Project Yesu and about the children in Uganda and asked them to help me raise money. Every week I set up a booth at my church to tell people about my project, and the word spread.

In only 8 weeks I raised over $2,400 and I was able to sponsor 7 children. It was way more then I had originally planned on and it was great. I got to meet some wonderful people, and tell them my story. I was invited to go to WAYFM a Christian radio station because they learned about my project, and I was even on TV. The NBC station out of Nasvhille did a story on Project Yesu.

I read a quote one day from Mahatma Ghandi that said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. That’s what I want to do, I want to be the change, I want to make a difference, I want to help people. Everyone thinks kids are selfish or that we’re just kids and we can’t do anything like this. I want to show people what a difference one person can make. If someone, because they heard about me, or met me, decides that they can be a change too, then it will spread from me, to that person, to another person and so on. Kids have good ideas, and you know what? We don’t know all the reasons why it won’t work, we just know we what we want to do.

I know with Project Yesu, I am making a difference, not only in the lives of the seven children in Uganda who now have food, medicine and can go to school. But I am making a difference in the lives of my family, my friends, my teachers and even people I have never met before.

I want Project Yesu to continue to spread and grow, and to do that I need people like you, who are reading this post to spread the word and to help me. My goals for 2012 is to raise $4,500 – who knows maybe I’ll double that this year or even triple that and be able to help more and more children in Uganda. I plan to travel to Uganda in December of 2012 to hand deliver the Christmas cards to the children, to meet my sponsored children and to love on the children of Uganda who have changed my life.

If you want to know more about Project Yesu, or how you can help you can find me on Facebook – www.facebook.com/projectyesu or go to my site www.projectyesu.org.

I am selling T-shirts and wristbands to raise funds, and I am also looking for families, groups, classrooms or anyone to be a part of the “Be The Change” campaign by collecting coins to donate towards Project Yesu.

So I have accepted the challenge to be the change…. Will you?

I had a thought the other day…

What if Tim Tebow mentored Justin Bieber?

I love intentionality. I love people who use their influence for good. That’s what I see in Tim Tebow. I loved THIS STORY about Tebow’s work with suffering people each week. It’s incredible.

Here’s an excerpt:

Every week, Tebow picks out someone who is suffering, or who is dying, or who is injured. He flies these people and their families to the Broncos game, rents them a car, puts them up in a nice hotel, buys them dinner (usually at a Dave & Buster’s), gets them and their families pregame passes, visits with them just before kickoff (!), gets them 30-yard-line tickets down low, visits with them after the game (sometimes for an hour), has them walk him to his car, and sends them off with a basket of gifts.

Fan or not, you have to agree Tim Tebow is doing good things on and off the football field.

I also love the rise to fame story of Justin BieberI don’t listen to his music that much. (I’m man enough to admit I like it though ) Justin Bieber is a professing believer. He was raised by a single mom. I’ve read some promising things about Bieber and the morals he hopes to hang on to. I understand he’s done some good charity work. We don’t read as much about him standing for his faith as we do about his pop status and he doesn’t appear as bold in his beliefs, but…

Think of the good Bieber could do with a few lessons from the older Tebow.

Two great men of influence. Two men with tremendous potential for the Kingdom.

We just need to get them together.

What do you think?

Who else impresses you by using their influence for Kingdom good?

With every decision a leader makes…

Some will agree

Some will disagree

Some won’t understand

Some won’t care

While I think it’s important to keep that in mind, while I believe completely in accountability in leadership, even after the decision is made, ultimately the leader’s greatest attention should be:

Making the right decision for the organization regardless of other people’s opinion.

Leader:

• Get on your knees
• Hear a word from God
• Know clearly the vision God has placed on your heart

Then, although you may not have all the answers, or know where the path may take you, though some days it seems there are more adversaries than supporters, move forward in confidence.

That’s what leaders do.

How do you keep yourself strong when others are criticizing your decisions?

Spend more time looking towards your future than at your past.

Spend more energy on what you can change rather than what you cannot.

Spend more time reading a book than watching television.

Spend more time extending grace than holding a grudge.

Spend more time listening than talking.

Spend more time dreaming than dreading.

Spend more energy with people you love rather than things you can buy.

Do you have more?