Recently I shared some questions with our staff to consider answering as we head into a new year.  Giving Chad (my co-pastor) and me the answers was optional, but encouraged as a way for me to know where they are and as a form of personal accountability.  I have received some great answers.  It seems that just the process of answering has spurred some honest thoughts and feedback.  If the staff (and Chad and me) complete our list, 2009 is going to be a great year! 

Consider answering these questions for your own environment; changing each question to account for your unique work environment. 

1.      What task do you have to perform in your area of responsibility that you most need to get better at doing?

2.      In what area of the ministry (organization) do you wish you had more experience? 

3.      What personal or spiritual discipline do you want to improve in 2009? 

4.      How can Chad and I personally help you improve in your work, spiritual, or personal life in 2009? 

In fairness, this afternoon I will post my own answer to these questions.  

I want to encourage you to release your children to explore their own faith.  Okay, that sounds very liberal.  I apologize, but let me explain. I hope your children have a solid faith in the one true Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I would make that a part of daily prayer and intentionally lead them towards that reality for their own life.  The truth, however, is that your children are some day going to question their faith.  At some point in life, most people I know have questioned whether what they have always believed is true. My encouragement is to let some of that process occur while your children still live in your home or under your authority. 

With that in mind, here are five quick suggestions to consider to spur a life-long faith and to allow your children to explore their faith:

1.      When children are very young, set the stage for them spiritually with what you think is best for them.  For example, if church is important, and I think it is, then do not let a 2 year old determine whether you go to church.  Take them to church on a regular basis so it becomes a natural part of who they are as individuals.

2.      At the same time, let the children’s needs play a part in deciding what church to attend.  As tough as it may be on grandparents not to have their grandchildren in the same church, it would be better to have your children actually love their church experience than to attend somewhere they do not enjoy going. 

3.      Find opportunities to talk about faith and God in non-threatening, everyday environments.  Talk about God should never be limited to “church time”.  Make God part of your normal life.  (He is you know!) Model living a life for Christ in front of your child.

4.      As a child, having been raised in church and heard all the “stories”, attempts to explore his own faith, do not feel the pressure to answer every question they have.  If children are seeking truth, guide them towards the source of truth (God’s Word) and let them explore it for themselves.  This is the only way to make sure your children actually “own” their faith.  When one of my boys was questioning eternal security, for example, I suggested he read the conflicting passages on the subject and encouraged him to reach his own conclusion.  (He did, btw, and landed in the same place I land.) 

5.      Keep the lines of communication open even when your children are questioning what they believe.  I have known so many parents who “freak” when their children express opinions about their faith that are contrary to their parents.  I have never seen this reaction work to their favor.  It usually causes further separation between the child and the parent.  This is where I believe Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.) comes into play.  Parent towards Christ early in your child’s life, release them to explore, keep praying for them and loving them, and the principle in Proverbs is that they will return to their roots in time. 

Children are going to question their faith someday.  Any faith worth having involves periods of testing over time.  Chances are good that you questioned your faith at some point.  Allow your children to test their faith in God, but pray it happens while they are still in your home or listening to your counsel so you will be there to help them find their way Home again. 

The Christmas story in pictures. Hey, whatever works.  Some people are very visual.

I come across lots of information in a given week.  I often share finds with people that I think they might enjoy or benefit from.  I decided my blog might be a good place to share tidbits of information that helped me; in case you missed any of them. 

Here’s what I found this week that caught my attention long enough to read: 

1.      I love the honesty of guys like Tony Morgan.  He wrote a sadly true post about many Christians HERE.

2.      It’s a tougher read, but The Center for Creative Leadership has a post on Becoming a Strategic Leader.  If you want to become an effective leader of strategy, this may be for you. 

3.      We’ve been talking as a church lately about the value of adding texting ability to our methods of communicating with the people who believe in Grace Community Church.  Church Marketing Sucks (I just love that domain name!) offered a post on the topic this week. 

4.      Innovative Ministry Leader told us about http://www.iamsecond.com, which it describes as “an amazing new resource we just discovered that shares testimonies of famous actors, musicians, sporting figures, businessmen and other individuals.”

5.      Managing Leadership’s blog has a must-understand-the-principle post on the value of responsibility. You can delegate just about anything, but you cannot delegate the overall responsibility.  See if you agree with THIS POST.

6.      One of my must-read blogs each Monday is Monday Morning Insights.  On his blog this week I found a post by Alan Nelson titled Leading Ideas:  Why Churches Get Stuck.  If you are a leader in the church (or any organization) you should probably read it. 

Next Friday I’ll share some more finds. 

I received an email through my internet devotional site from a woman battling depression.  Her question was, as a pastor, what would I tell someone who has been diagnosed with depression. 

The great thing about responding to her is that I can speak not only from “clinical” or seminary training, but from personal experience.  I’ve battled mild depression firsthand. 

If you wonder if you are experiencing depression, whether mild or severe, I encourage you to talk with your physician.  Depression is nothing to play with and should be taken seriously. 

Some symptoms of depression are:

Experiencing a continuously sad, nervous, or irritable mood. 

Feeling as if life is hopeless.

Losing interest in things you once enjoyed.

Trouble sleeping

Loss of weight or other repeating health problems.

Having the “blahs” all the time; generally feeling fatigued

(If you start to have thoughts of suicide, hurting yourself or repeating emotional breakdowns, please seek help immediately! )

I would never attempt to solve depression for you here, but there are some things I can offer you for those times where you struggle with mild depression. 

Follow these steps:

1.      Read God’s Word. Depression is most often caused by believing things that are not true.  We fear the unknown, we feel bad about our life or our situation, and we live out of partial truth or untruth.  The best way to battle untruth is with truth.

2.      Pray.  God loves you and wants more than just a distant experience with you.  He wants a relationship with you that is deep and personal.  When you are at your weakest point, God is there to help you.  Talking with Him intimately is better than most trained therapists can offer. 

3.      Surround yourself with positive people who trust God.  A lot of times when we are depressed we hang out with people who make us feel worse rather than better.  Look for friends who will encourage you. 

4.      Take medicine if needed.  Find a good doctor you trust and if they recommend medicine, don’t be afraid to follow their advice.  There can be chemical imbalances in our body which can cause our emotions to act up and just as an aspirin helps when you have a headache sometimes with depression we need medication to heal our minds and emotions.

5.      Counseling.  Find a good, God-fearing counselor who is trained to talk through life with you.  We all need this help at times.  Don’t be ashamed to ask for it…. (Or too tight to pay for it!)

6.      Ultimately the greatest thing you can do for yourself to battle depression is to give up control of your life and your emotions and begin to trust God completely.  Understanding this truth will set you free.  (John 8:32) 

Again, I urge you to seek help if you are severely depressed.  I truly believe, however, that your greatest help will always be found in the truth of God’s Word and in your relationship with Him. 

This Sunday night our church launches Cross Street Live. I am not an emphatic person most of the time, but I honestly believe this could be one of the finest moments in the life of Grace Community Church. Cross Street Live is an opportunity for kids to bring their parents to learn and worship! It is fun, high energy and especially designed for elementary age kids and their parents. Our team has invested countless hours into planning this night, which we hope to repeat throughout the year in 2009. As with anything we do at Grace, this is a community event. You don’t have to attend Grace on Sunday morning to enjoy Cross Street Live.

Spread the word to your friends today.

What: Cross Street Live

Where: Rossview High School Auditorium

When: Sunday night, December 7, 5:30

For more information send an email to office@gcomchurch.com.

There are many leaders I admire who have influenced my own leadership.  I admire the teachings on leadership by guys like John Maxwell and Andy Stanley.  There are leaders from my personal life such as a former pastor and another local leader who have influenced me as I have watched their leadership.   I also love a great coach, often choosing the teams I support by the coach that leads them. Athletics today is full of coaches I admire. 

The principles, however, that I admire most are found in the leadership style of Jesus.  A few of His leadership principles that inspire me are:

1.      Jesus was willing to invest in people others would have dismissed.  Consider the disciples. They were not the “religious” elite, yet Jesus used them to start His church.

2.      Jesus released responsibility and ownership in a ministry.  Consider how Jesus sent out the disciples on their own and consistently reminded them that He wouldn’t always be with them.

3.      Jesus practiced servant leadership better than anyone.  The King of kings was willing to wash the feet of His followers.

4.      Jesus was focused on the vision.  Regardless of the persecutions or distractions, Jesus kept on the mission God had called Him to complete. 

5.      Jesus handled distractions with grace.  When the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years touched His garment, Jesus stopped to heal her, even though headed to a definite purpose. 

6.      Jesus was into self-development.  He said He only did what His Father told Him and He constantly slipped away to spend time with God. 

7.      Jesus was into leadership development and replacement.  He very purposefully prepared His disciples to take over the ministry.  I also like the He pushed people beyond what they felt they were capable of doing.

8.      He challenged those who followed Him and held them to high expectations; telling the disciples they must be willing to lose everything to follow Him.

9.      Jesus cared more about people than about rules and regulations.  He was willing to jeopardize Himself personally by breaking the “rules” to help someone in need.

10.  Jesus rewarded people generously who were faithful to Him and His cause. 

We have a few chaplains in our church and one of those chaplains and his wife have graciously invited us to join them at some of the homecoming ceremonies for the soldiers of the 101^st Airborne Division at Fort Campbell returning home from their deployment to Iraq.  I never tire of watching these reunions! 

Having lived around military all my life I have as many friends in the military as I do civilians.  I love our soldiers and their families.  Some of the most loyal and caring people you will ever meet or have in your church are military connected.  Grace Community Church is loaded with military families.  I wouldn’t want it any other way!  I firmly believe that our soldiers do what they do so that I can do what I do in freedom.  I’m so thankful to live in a country where I can freely share my faith with others and I don’t take that freedom for granted. I know it comes with a huge cost.  We admire greatly the sacrifices our soldiers and their families make on our behalf. 

God bless America and our troops and their families.  I honor, respect, and love each of you!  Thank you for serving on my family’s behalf.  It is so good to be welcoming you home again! 

Continuing the series on the parenting model based on the Olive Tree; we are attempting to produce spiritual fruit in our children that will last for generations. You can read the beginning post HERE.  

Today we see a few more virtues we and some ways to instill them in our children. 

PATIENCE        

This is a tough one, because it is one of my weak points, but it is a part of the fruit of the Spirit God has encouraged us to have, so here are some actions to help your children have this trait: 

*Let them see you waiting patiently. (If my boys or my wife reads this they will be wondering when they will see this in me. Still, I have had to wait for many big picture things in my life many times.  I’ve attempted to do so patiently.) 

*Make children wait sometimes. Children shouldn’t get everything right away and they certainly shouldn’t be able to demand it with temper-tantrums or tears.  One statistic I read says that children today get 90% of everything they want, yet as adults they will get less than 25%.  We are setting them up for failure when we give them everything. 

*Don’t be a complainer. Do everything without complaining or arguing. (Phil 2:14)

*Don’t let your children think they are the center of the universe.  They are not; actually God is.    Encourage them, but don’t crown them kings. 

KINDNESS            

Kindness could be defined as “genuine friendliness, helpfulness and generosity”.  Here are some ways to instill kindness in your children: 

*Be a giver and not a taker.  Let your children see you giving to others regularly. 

*Never let children see you being unkind to the cashier or waitress. 

*Know your neighbors and actually have concern for them.

*Never allow degrading comments to be made to other family members. 

*Care for the hurting people of the world. 

*Be a regular giver/servant at church. 

 GOODNESS

Jesus said “well done good and faithful servant” and “a good tree produces good fruit”.  This is the opposite of bad.  (That makes sense, huh?)  To instill goodness in your children, try this:

*Reward good acts towards others. 

*Give extra praise to your children for doing good things. (That’s not buying them a toy. This can be done verbally.) 

*Never let them see parents argue and fight.            

*Demand respect always. They don’t always have to agree, but they should always have to respect. 

* Always declare truthfulness.  Never let them see you telling lies; even “little white lies”.

*Teach prompt obedience.  Don’t let them “think about” obeying you. This is especially true for younger children. 

I will continue with more traits of spiritual fruit tomorrow. 

Yesterday I introduced this series of a parenting model called Olive Tree Parenting.  If you need the introduction read it HERE.  

Here are some suggestions to help you develop this “fruit” in your children.  To be honest I need to remind you that this is a “model”. That doesn’t mean I was perfect at doing this. Some I did better than others.  The fact is, however, that we seldom hit a target we aren’t aiming for, so make this your goal and you will find it easier to achieve than with no plan at all. 

LOVE

Love is the first fruit mentioned and the most important.  Jesus said “love” was the greatest command for us all.  Please understand you can’t really teach your child to love.  You must model it for them.  Here are some actions you can take, however, to instill this fruit in their heart. 

*Ask your children questions about their life.  Get to know your child and what they are thinking.  Show you care. 

* Do everything in love…….even discipline.  (They will know when you are not acting in love. You will too.) 

*Discipline.  Don’t neglect discipline in “the name of love”.  Discipline should actually be an indication that you love them enough to train them to do the right thing.   

*Watch how you treat other groups of people; including other races and ethnic groups. 

*Watch your child’s attitude; always recognize attitudes over actions (1 Sam. 16:24) and respond accordingly. 

*Love your children’s friends. 

*Be kind to your neighbors, friends and family.  They are watching. 

*Get involved in church and community not out of compulsion, but because you love other people. 

JOY   

The goal of producing joy is not to make your children happy.  The Bible makes a distinction between joy and happiness.  (Psalm 68:3)  Here are some actions you can take to instill the fruit of joy in your child’s heart:

*Don’t reward everything.  Life should not be a big celebration.  Life shouldn’t revolve around the next big event. 

*Have a sense of humor. Have fun parenting. Let them see you having fun.

*Be positive.  Children can’t take the pressure and stress of life that an adult has to handle.

*Allow your children to enjoy life at the age they are, without trying to make them someone they are not. 

*Life is difficult and there will be trials, but let your children see you use trials as something you learn from and have faith during; trusting that God will work all things for good. 

*Remind yourself to “be joyful always”.  This is another character trait we need to model for them.

PEACE     

Peace is a foundation for other great character traits you will want your children to have.  The Bible says we can have peace that is there regardless of the storms of life.  I know many adults who would like that kind of peace. You would certainly want that for your children.  It is important to instill peace virtues into your children.  Here are some actions you can take to model peace for your children:

*Pray for your children daily in their presence. This shows them the importance of prayer and relying on God for daily strength.      

*Teach them to pray. Jesus taught His disciples to pray.  Help your children understand they can talk with God anytime. They will catch on quickly.  Faith comes much easier when built as a child. 

*Let them see you read your Bible regularly. 

*Talk about your faith.  Peace is found in a relationship and they need to see that modeled for them. 

*Remain cool in stressful situations as best as you can.  It’s okay that they see you emotional, but they should quickly see you display a peace that surpasses understanding.

Stay tuned for more character “fruit” trait building activities tomorrow.