How to Know If You’re Moving Toward Multiplication – A New Tool for Lead Pastors

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Recently, my friends at Exponential introduced a new resource for church leaders I believe will be invaluable for the church as we continue to focus on healthy Kingdom multiplication. The Becoming 5 Assessment Tool is the first of its kind to give churches a good read on how they’re doing with becoming a church that grows by multiplying itself (multiplication growth)—and not just adding attendees (addition growth).

The concept is simple. Register for a free account at becomingfive.org, answer the multiple-choice questions at your convenience (probably about 30 minutes to compete) and then review your results. Based on your responses, the assessment provides you with your church’s multiplication profile (Levels 1-5) and multiplication pattern.

The multiplication profile is based on five cultures of multiplication that Exponential has identified:

Level1 (subtraction, survival or scarcity mode)
Level 2 (plateaued, survival and tension between scarcity and growth)
Level 3 (growing by addition but not multiplication)
Level 4 (reproducing)
Level 5 (multiplying, releasing and sending)

(To read detailed examples of the five profiles, download the FREE eBook Becoming a Level 5 Multiplying Church by Todd Wilson and Dave Ferguson at exponential.org/becomingfive.)

The multiplication pattern you receive along with your profile offers you a snapshot of where your church has been, where you currently are, and where you’d like to go. Exponential says most churches will test into seven core patterns: aspiring, advancing, breakout, reproducing, addition, survivor and recovery. For example, a 1-1-5 score reflects an “aspiring” pattern representing a church that has Level 1 behaviors in the past (1) and present (1), but aspires to be a Level 5 church in the coming years (5). A 3-4-5 “reproducing” pattern represents steady progress toward Level 5.

If you’re wondering, the Becoming 5 Assessment Tool has gone through rigorous evaluation, analysis and testing, including early review from a team of national leaders, followed by a survey evaluation with 75 other leaders, investment in a professional developer of assessment tools, and beta testing.

A few things to note:
•​The initial version of the assessment tool is contextualized for U.S. churches, but some international contexts may also benefit. The tool can be easily adapted in the future to include additional international contexts.

•​Becoming 5 focuses only on a church’s sending capacity and is not intended to evaluate a ​church’s capacity to make disciples. Exponential says a second assessment tool for measuring a ​church’s discipleship capacity is forthcoming.

I like what my friend and Exponential Director Todd Wilson says: “Discipleship has to be at the core of multiplication, but just because you put it at the core doesn’t mean your church is multiplying. Jesus spent three years building 12 disciples were able to spring into action and build His church.”

It is assumed that approximately 80 percent of churches in the United States are at Levels 1 and 2 (subtracting or plateaued), with 20 percent at Levels 3-4 (and virtually 0% at Level 5). Of the 20 percent who are adding, it is estimated that less than 4 percent are reproducing at Level 4.

Moving beyond the 4 percent requires each of us as leaders to look candidly at how we’re doing with multiplication, identify the tensions that are keeping us from Levels 4 and 5, and then develop a plan to wrestle with these tensions and move forward.

I highly encourage you to take the assessment and encourage your team to engage as well. Jesus’ Great Commission to His disciples will only be carried out through the multiplication of His church.

Note: If you’re a ministry leader, consider linking the assessment on your website. For more information, click here.

5 Ways to Benefit from Your Organization’s Best Asset

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Do you want to harness the greatest power in your organization?

The best assets of your church, business or non-profit never appear on your balance sheet.

The truth is any organization is only as good as the people within it. Take the greatest idea and put the wrong people behind it and little progress will be realized. With the right people – even average ideas can achieve tremendous results.

The key to success is to learn how to get the best ideas out of the people within the organization. It’s often been called Human Capital. Learning to glean from this valuable resource takes experience and intentionality.

Are you relying on the knowledge, insight and experience of everyone on your team to make the organization better? Do you understand and appreciate the human capital your team brings to the table?

Here are 5 ways to capitalize on the people value of your team:

Brainstorm

Have assigned times periodically where everyone on the team gets to give input into the organization’s future. It’s important to provide ways for even the most introverted on the team to share thoughts. Information shouldn’t be defined to a “chain of command”. Everyone has something they know better than the leader knows.

Allow mistakes

Create an environment where team members are willing to take risks without fear of repercussion if things go wrong. This atmosphere will often be created with the leader’s instant reactions to mistakes made, but will be reinforced by how the organization learns from failure. When people feel free to explore they will enjoy doing so.

I recently read 12 things discovered by making a mistake.

  • The slinky
  • Penicillin
  • Chocolate chip cookies
  • Potato chips
  • The pacemaker
  • Silly Putty
  • Microwave ovens
  • Fireworks
  • Corn flakes
  • Ink jet printers
  • Post it notes
  • X-rays

Now where would the world be without Silly Putty – right? Seriously, God has given us creative minds. What is your team trying, which could prove to be a mistake – but it could be genius?

Ask questions

The best leaders ask the best questions. Genuinely seek help from those around you.  Recognize the fact others may know more than you know about a particular subject. I like to follow others on the team when they are the expert in a subject. And, sometimes, I ask questions – not as much for the answer – but to get their minds churning. It’s proven to be gold at times.

Don’t pre-define solutions

If you want help solving a problem or planning for the future, start with a clean slate, without having a pre-determined outcome when addressing an issue.  If the leader always has the answer, team members are less likely to share their input. They’ll simply wait – holding out the best solutions at times – knowing the leader will trump them anyway.

Be open to change

New ideas never come in an attitude of control or when the goal is always protecting tradition. The leader must genuinely desire new ways of doing things – and must lead others to the same mindset.  Everyone on the team knows if the leader is really considering other people’s opinions. If team member’s suggestions are never implemented, they eventually will stop sharing them.

How are you currently taking advantage of the human capital in your organization? Is your church, business or non-profit experiencing the blessing of different ideas? 

5 Steps to Recovery from a Failure

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You’ve failed. It was huge. Perhaps you did it on purpose. Maybe it was an accident. You may have stumbled into gradually over time or suddenly.

Bottom line: You did it. It was wrong. There’s no sense denying it now.

What you do next will determine if – and how well – you recover.

Here are 5 steps to recovery from a failure:

Admit

Be honest with yourself and others who need to know. Quit hiding from the truth. Stop making excuses. Your story is your story. Hiding only delays recovery. Own what you did and take responsibility for your actions. It’s a sign of maturity, but few make it to this point. Be one who does. You may have consequences to deal with – don’t try to run from them.

Repent

Ask God for forgiveness. If you are a believer, He’s already paid your penalty on the cross, but you need to acknowledge your sin to keep the relationship pure. Ask any injured parties for forgiveness. You’re not responsible for their granting of grace – only for your attempt to live at peace with them. Your hardest step may be to forgive yourself.

Plan

Create a new path. Consider the right way to do things next time – so you won’t face the same failure again. Do you need new friends? A new environment? Should you step away from a position for a time? How can you ensure those around you, whose trust you’ve broken can trust you again? Develop a plan of recovery – steps you need to take to move forward again.

Commit

Commit to your plan. They may mean new accountability. Commit to the people you love. Commit to yourself. Commit to walking a new path and writing a new story. You can do anything with the discipline and tenacity to see it through. Believe in the power and sufficiency of God’s grace in your life.

Grow

We should learn from every failure. You do not have to be defined by this season of your life, but you should mature from it. Move forward – looking back not to feel bad about yourself, but only enough to remind you to never go there again.

You can do it!

Have you ever recovered from a failure? What would you add to my list?

5 Clever Ways I Find Time to Exercise

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I’ve written before about my discipline of exercise. Honestly, it has to be one of the keys to me being effective in life and leadership. I can tell the difference in productivity when I exercise and when I don’t.

There are always seasons where the weather doesn’t cooperate, I’m traveling more, or I simply am busier than usual. I have to be more creative in those seasons.

I talk to busy, stressed pastors every week and frequently I ask them how they are staying physically fit. Most have been trained and are more disciplined in their spiritual life, but the reality is their physical life is impacting their health – and – if its not now, it will someday impact every other part of their life.

As much as it depends on me, I think it is important to take care of our health. But, I’ll admit, working 50 or even 70 hour weeks normally makes it difficult to fit exercise into an already packed schedule.

I’m purposeful enough though – and know the value – if I can, I’ll find a way.

Here are 5 clever ways I find time to exercise:

Work on the elliptical.

This one takes practice learning to balance on the machine, but it’s proven gold in the quantity of my exercise. For example, a few times a week I go over my notes for Sunday. Why not do it while I exercise? I sometimes write blog posts from the elliptical. (Posts like this one.) It has become a great way for me to accomplish two things I need to do at the same time. What do you have to do that is a routine for you, but you could do while exercising? Anything? Be creative.

Exercise on lunch breaks.

One problem for me is eating three full meals a day. I can’t do it these days and maintain my weight. Sometimes my schedule dictates three meals, because many of my meetings are done at these times. I’m bad at resisting food when I have it in front of me. On days I can, I try to grab something light, fast and healthy and hit the road or gym. It fuels me for the rest of the day, gives me a sense of accomplishment and I’m healthier.

Walk to talk.

Weather permitting, Cheryl and I take walks together almost daily. It allows us to catch up on the day, debrief the week ahead and enjoy exercising together. I’ve done this with staff members too. If you schedule me for a phone call I will likely be walking as we talk. I’ve even gone to a stand up desk so I’m less tied to a chair. Remember this phrase: If you have an extended talk – take a walk.

Strategic mental breaks.

If I’m stuck in my thoughts, I can almost always spur myself if I exercise. The break in schedule always pays back dividends beyond the apparent loss of time. This is especially true during the most stressful weeks. (By the way, this means I’m always ready with clothes at the office or in my car.) If you need to think or pray through an issue – get your body moving. It’s almost always productive for me. It’s often my best prayer time.

Let my calendar be my conscience.

I love having a goal on the calendar. A half or full marathon – or even a 5K. You can walk it or run it, but knowing it’s coming for me is a motivator. I also sometimes plan my schedule around exercising. My long day to prepare for Sunday is Wednesday. I try not to have breakfast appointments this day because I want to get in a good run – especially if weather permits. Your calendar often controls the rest of your life – why not this vital area?

Again, I realize the value of exercise for my life – for the quality of my life – and so I’ll make time for it. You can find time if you are creative and disciplined with your time.

(By the way. This principle works for anything you value. Prayer. Bible reading. Relationships. We find time for those things which we value most.)

Have you found any clever ways to work exercise into your schedule?

I’m open to learning new ones.

7 of the Biggest Misunderstandings Millennials have about My Baby Boomer Generation

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So much has been written about the Millennial generation. They may possibly be the most studied and documented generation – and, I thought this honor would go to my Baby-Boomer generation. Millennials have unique challenges. The world has been quite different during their lifetime. Fast change. New technologies. Increasing global tensions. 

I get to spend a lot of time with Millennials in my work as a pastor. I have two sons who are Millennials. Frankly, I love the generation. 

What is interesting to me when I talk to Millennials is some of the misunderstandings they have about my generation – specifically how my generation views their generation. 

Recently a young Millennial asked for some of my time to talk through where he felt God was leading him. He was so apologetic for “taking my time”. What he didn’t understand was how much his conversation fueled me for everything else I had to do that day. I loved it. I’ve had similar experiences many times.

The encounter caused me to reflect on other misunderstandings I’ve observed from Millennials about my generation. Feel free to add your own in the comments. 

7 of the biggest misunderstandings millennials have of my Baby-Boomer generation:

 

We really do enjoy helping you. Your inquisitive nature is not a burden to us. We don’t consider your questions to be dumb. We know we all have to learn somewhere. There is no higher compliment than to be asked for wisdom – or seen as knowing something worthy of your attention towards us. 

We wish we had asked more questions when we were your age. Yours is an inquisitive generation. You want to know. You’ve been used to having information – in fact, you can Google most your answers. We admire this about you and wish we had learned to ask questions earlier. Instead, we learned too many things the hard way – by experience – but we would have avoided some of those experiences if we could have. You inspire us to ask more questions. There are lots of things we can learn from you. (Thank you for this.)

We don’t think we know it all. At least most of us don’t. And, we are okay with it. Frankly, the older we get the more we realize we don’t know. And, it doesn’t seem to bother or frustrate us as it did when we were younger. 

We don’t always understand your impatience. Seriously, sometimes we don’t. We look at your life and you seem to be doing okay. So, when you are frustrated you don’t have everything yet – or aren’t where you want to be in your career – we don’t always “get it”. But, we know we were much like this when we were your age – and probably more impatient in our younger years. There was more of a sense of “work your way up” in our generation, but we often saw unfairness in who got to move up and how. 

We often understand what you’re feeling more than you think we do. You think because we are older, and aren’t experiencing some of the issues you’re experiencing, we don’t understand the frustrations you face. It is a new day – and the world is much different – but the things you experience today are some of the same issues we experienced – just without the texting or social media sharing possibilities for them. We struggled (and mostly still do) in relationships, careers, with our parents, trying to find our place, fears about our future – all of those things. 

We have a different perspective, but we aren’t as different as you think. We see life from a different viewpoint. We are further along in life. We have more experiences – more laughs, more heartaches, more disappointments, more failures – and, all of this makes us see the world a little differently. But, we aren’t as different as you might think. We have the same desires you have – for mutual respect, trusted relationships, workplace fairness and opportunity. We may disagree on how to get there – but we want the world to be a better place – as you do. The basic human wants and needs are often filled differently – but they remain much the same. 

We aren’t as crazy about all the tech advances either – when it comes to real relationships. Sure, we love the new gadgets – and appreciate you for helping us learn them (thankfully, I finally figured out the DVR) – but, we prefer real conversations with people we love than a text or phone call any day. Sure, we’ve taken advantage of the ease of social media to keep up with loved ones. We are guilty of emailing instead of walking down to your office. We fall into the trap of overworking and under-relating to people in our life. But, just like you, we value genuine relationships. We even like “hanging out”. And, hanging out with your generation – are some of our favorite times. 

Those are a few I’ve observed. Got any to add? 

4 Ways a Team Grows Together 

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This is a requested guest post from Ministry Library. I don’t do these for profit. I only do then when I believe in the oppportunity.

4 Ways a Team Grows Together 

Some people hate those personality tests but they have made a huge difference for our team. There are tons out there but we require each person on our team to take 2 different personality tests and each one tells us some very unique attributes about that person.

One is the Myers-Briggs. This test gives me an insight into how that person thinks and sees the world around them. I think the best part of this test is the detailed report I get about their workplace habits and how to communicate with that person. If you’re curious, I am an INTJ.

The other test is Strengths Finder 2.0, sometimes called “Leading From Your Strengths.”
This test will reveal your top 5 (out of 34) strengths and how to maximize your talents and build them into strengths. The reason I love this test is that it allows me to create the most healthy environment possible to make each person happy, productive and successful.
My 2 most prominent strengths are Activator and Individualization.

Ask The Tough Questions
Great leaders ask the tough questions! 

Here are 5 questions you need to starting asking your team. 

Who are you developing to take your place? If leadership development isn’t communicated and followed up on, it won’t happen.

What are you doing to grow yourself? By regularly asking this questions you’ll create a culture of learning in your staff. A good followup question is “What resource or support I can give?”

Is there anything I am doing that wastes your time? Yep. that’s a toughy! I usually add ”Please answer honestly or you’re fired!” to lighten the mood.

What is your biggest hassle in your current role? I love this question so much. It will shed some serious light on your systems and organization.

What can we improve on as a team or a church? Breakthroughs happen horizontally. You’ll be surprised by the creativity and problem solving that happens when you let people speak into other areas besides the one they’re in.

When asking these questions, it’s important to ask followup questions to make sure you have a full understanding of their situation.

Require A Coaching Call
All of the world’s best athletes have coaches. Why?

Because a coach can see things the athlete can’t. It’s impossible to coach yourself to the next level. We just don’t know, what we don’t know. As your team and your church grow, there are going to be these “gotcha” moments that you just won’t see coming.

I require my team to have regular coaching calls with people in similar roles at a church that is twice our size.

I do this myself as well. Our church is in the process of launching a campus.So, I cold called 7 other church around the country that I thought would be able to coach me through this process. By talking to people that have “been there, done that,” you’ll learn from their mistakes and completely avoid those “gotcha” moments.

Learn Together
Imagine if you could have some of the best pastors or leaders come in and give you and your staff a personal coaching session.

That would be awesome and way too expensive!

Reading a book is like getting coached by the author.

I think one of the best ways to learn together is to go through a book as a staff. But if you just buy them the book and tell them to read, you’ve failed as a leader.
To get the most out of a book there needs to be a group experience where you can learn outloud and help each other apply what you’ve learned.

I believe in this model of leadership development so much I created a resource for pastors and their teams. Its called MinistryLibrary.com

We help pastors grow and lead healthy teams by creating 10 minute leadership videos and team workshops based on popular ministry and business leadership books. The workshops are where you’ll get the most value. They have take-aways, resources, discussion questions and group activities that will get your team thinking, collaborating and learning together!

Check it out. MinistryLibrary.com

7 Ways a Leader Can Invite Constructive Feedback

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I remember an especially hard year as a leader. It was so bad several members of our staff had told me where I was letting them down. So much for having an “open door policy”. The next year I closed the door. :)

Not really, but this was a year where staff members said to me, “I have a problem with you.” They may not have used those exact words, but the point was clear – I can be an idiot at times. There were significant areas where I needed to improve. Thankfully I haven’t had many of those years, but I’m glad now I had the ones I have. 

There is room for improvement with any leader and maturing leaders welcome instruction from the people they are trying to lead.

I realize some would question me for allowing such correction, but most of the time when I’ve been corrected by someone I’m supposed to lead, I deserved it. Plus, anytime an associate is brave enough to rebuke an employer, you can be assured he or she is either:

  • Desperate and willing to do anything.
  • Ignorant or doesn’t care.
  • Feels welcome to do so.

In my opinion, good leaders work to live within the third option. I hope this was the case in my situation.

I should say – because I know some are thinking – criticism comes easily to leaders. Do anything at all in leadership and someone will have a problem with it – and they won’t always be kind in how they voice their complaint. But, I’m not talking about this type criticism. I am referring to constructive feedback from people I care about and who respect me. We all need that at times.

Here are 7 ways I welcome correction from the people I lead:

An open door.

This is more than keeping the door to my office open. I try to make my schedule available to the people I lead. The person who keeps my calendar always knows people on staff get in first if something needs to be scheduled. And, if I’m in the office, my door is “open” – they can walk in anytime. In addition, my team knows I consider responsiveness to be of the highest value.

Include others in decision making.

If a decision affects more people than me, then I want more people helping to make the decision. This is true even if it’s a natural decision for me to make. The more I include people in the decision-making, the more likely they are to want to follow the decisions made. In fact, I seldom make decisions alone.

Ask for it.

Consistently, throughout the year, I ask people to tell me what they think. I ask lots of questions. I solicit opinions on almost every major decision I make. It’s a risky move, because many will, but it’s invaluable insight. And, the more you ask, the more freedom people feel in sharing.

Admit mistakes.

It’s important that I recognize when decisions made are my fault. People feel more comfortable approaching a leader who doesn’t feel they are always right.

Take personal responsibility.

In addition to admitting fault, I must own my share of projects and responsibility. The team needs to know that I’m on their side and in their corner. When they are criticized I own the criticism with them. I have their back. (By the way – this is only learned by experience.)

Model it.

It’s one thing to say I welcome correction, but when correction comes, I must model receiving it well. If I overreact when correction comes, I’ll limit the times I receive it. If I chooser retribution, I’ve shut further feedback off before it comes.

Trade it.

The best way to get your team to offer healthy correction of the leader is to create a relationship with your team where there is mutual constructive feedback. The goal is not for the leader to receive all the correction. The goal is for correction to be applied where correction is needed.

I should also say all these are still not enough. Constructive criticism from people who care about you and want your best – especially from people you lead – only develops over time as trust is developed. They have to trust you and you have to trust them. 

Receiving correction – or constructive feedback – is difficult for anyone, perhaps seemingly unnatural for most leaders. I believe, however, when a leader is open to correction from his or her team, the team will be more willing to follow the leader wherever he or she goes.

Leader, are you open to correction? Is your leader open to correction?

7 Core Disciplines Needed for a Spiritual Leader

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A spiritual leader, in my opinion, is called to lead well.

All leaders should lead well, but when one claims to be a follower of Christ their leadership reflects on his or her walk with Christ.

I have learned personally that leading well requires discipline. It doesn’t happen naturally.

Here are 7 disciplines needed for a spiritual leader:

Dreaming

You will never dream bigger than God. Imagine 1 Corinthians 2:9, as it relates to dreaming. (“No eye has seen no ear has heard”). It’s almost a challenge to plan bigger than God has in mind. God gave the creative mind to be used. Spiritual leaders must dream huge!

Praying

Oh, the neglected discipline of prayer! I’ve never met a spiritual leader who felt they prayed enough. Ask yourself, “What isn’t moving forward simply because I haven’t prayed?” The prayer of the righteous accomplishes much! (James 4:2-3, James 5:16)

Working

A Christian leader should be a diligent worker. God honors hard work. Spiritual leadership is not only a Sunday event. There is no excuse for laziness when Kingdom work is at stake. (Proverbs 10:4, Proverbs 21:5, Matthew 25:14-30)

Waiting

Waiting is a part of walking with God – a part of the faith journey. God does not give us every answer, nor commit to us the immediate outcome. He commands us to go sometimes before He tells us where. As followers of Christ, we must learn the fruit of patience and be willing to wait for God to move. (Isaiah 40:31, Hebrews 6:15, Psalm 25:21)

Listening

The Spiritual leader must learn to discern the voice of God and listen carefully for instruction. (John 10:27) Additionally, because the body is made of different people, spiritual leaders must be willing to listen to others – even when they have a differing opinion.

Studying

A spiritual leader, who desires to be like and lead like Christ, must discipline to be a student of God’s Word. (2 Timothy 2:15) Moses said “these words are your life.”

Teaching

Investing in others – the ultimate call of the Christian’s life. Following the example of Jesus, delegation is not an option for the spiritual leader. Spiritual leaders must always be kingdom-minded and disciple other Christ-followers and leaders.

Be honest, which of these do you most need to improve upon as a spiritual leader?

5 Ways for a Christian to Rebuke or Correct a Friend

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A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Wounds from a friend can be trusted… Proverbs 27:6

rebuke |riˈbyoōk|verb express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions.

Years ago in high school, I had a friend tell me I was hanging out with the wrong people. It was hard to hear, but I listened to the advice and switched my sphere of influence. Looking back, it’s one of the best decisions I ever made, considering the different path my life took and the life of my former friends.

That’s only one example. Thankfully there have been many other times a friend loved me enough to help me see the mistakes I was making. Usually I knew, but the rebuke challenged me to alter my ways. I’ve had to “return the favor” many times.

There are times when you have to rebuke a friend in order to be a true friend. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is tell another what he or she is doing wrong. You may be the only one who cares enough to point out what everyone else sees, but refuses to address.

If you choose to accept the assignment of rebuking or correcting a friend, you should be sure you are accurate in your assessment – as much as you can be without a conversation, you should pray through the proper timing of your approach, and you should address the person and not others to keep from spreading gossip. And, this should go without saying, but you should make sure they are actually a friend. If the relationship isn’t a close one – you may not be the right person to approach them. 

I’ve titled this post ways for a “Christian” to rebuke a friend. I believe these could apply to believers or non-believers. But, I did so because part of being in the family of God comes with certain expectations, such as love and forgiveness – which we are to extend to all our friends – whether or not they share our faith. 

When the time comes, here are 5 ways to rebuke or correct a friend:

Be purposeful.

A rebuke should not be vindictive in nature or driven by jealousy or selfish interests. The betterment of your friend should be your sole objective. If this is not the case, you may only be acting from your emotions – and things will not go well. You will likely not be received well by your friend. Check your motive first. This is where prayer beforehand comes in handy. 

Be loving.

As we should do with everything, correction of any kind should come in the context of a loving relationship. In fact, one standard might be to not rebuke people you don’t love. If done correctly a rebuke is a part of love. (If you don’t know how, THIS POST was written for a different purpose, but may offer some suggestions.) Part of maturing as a person is learning how to say hard things and still be kind doing so. 

Be truthful.

Don’t dance around or use subtleties when addressing the issue. State the problem as you see it. Keep in mind you may be wrong on some of your assumptions, so be prepared to listen as much as talk, but don’t leave them guessing what you mean either. 

Be helpful.

In addition to pointing out the problems you see, a loving response comes with some offers for resolution and a willingness to walk through any necessary recovery with the friend. Help them process where they are in life. Recommit your friendship to them. Follow up with them afterwards to make sure they know you care. 

Be redemptive.

Be willing to extend grace and forgive the friend for any wrong they have done – towards you, others, or themselves. Make sure he or she knows you are still in their corner. Don’t offer a rebuke or correct someone if you aren’t also willing to forgive or if you don’t ultimately want the best for them – regardless of how they respond.

Do you have a friend you can count on to rebuke or correct you if needed?