Peace Often Comes Through Obedience

Man walking barefood on the beach

Are you struggling with a “word from God”?

Do you feel there is something you need to do, but you aren’t quite certain about it yet?

Do you wish you had greater “peace” before you struck out to follow a dream – a dream you feel is God-given?

Are you sensing a desire to plant a church, revitalize a church, launch a new ministry effort, or surrender to vocational ministry?

If any of those or a similar scenario is your current story I may have a word of encouragement for you – or perhaps a word of challenge.

In my experience, peace often doesn’t come until obedience begins.

Seldom do I have complete peace prior to beginning to obey what I sense God is calling me to do.

Many times the direction God appears to be leading me doesn’t make sense. I’m restless. I don’t sleep well. I may even question myself and what I’m sensing.

I’ve previously written steps I take to discern God’s will (You can read that HERE and HERE), but after I’ve done those processes, and I’m still sensing God’s leading, the next place for me hasn’t always been an overwhelming sense of peace. The next place for me is one of obedience.

I’ve learned I may have to get my feet wet (Read Joshua 3) before the waters begin to part and peace begins to fill my heart.

When we agreed with God (and the search committee) He was calling us to leave an enormously successful church plant to go to an established 100 plus year old church almost a third of the size – where budgets were stretched and I was expected to preach three times as much and visit far more hospital beds – and to wear a tie on Sunday – it was difficult to get peace about any of those things.

It wasn’t until we agreed, and I showed up to tell the leadership of our church plant we were leaving where God gave me an overwhelming sense of peace. I had to obey first though.

To finish the story, we are a different church in many ways today. I preach once a week and very rarely have on a tie. And, the church has grown beyond our imaginations and the budget is healthy. But, we couldn’t see all this going into the process.

Are you in one of those times of discernment? Do you sense God’s leading? Do you believe God is calling you to a new level of faith and dependence on Him?

The next step may be to get your feet wet.

Improve this post. Share your stories of where peace came in obedience.

5 Suggestions When Firing Someone in Ministry

Unemployment

Whenever I talk about firing people in ministry I create a great deal of interest. Some feel it makes the church seem too much like a business. I get it, but the other fact, and many understand through difficult experiences, if we don’t address this very serious issue, Kingdom dollars are often misused. And, if we are honest, this has been allowed in ministry far more often than it should be. Our command to love or even to be kind shouldn’t cause us to waste Kingdom dollars.

Please read THE PREVIOUS POST before reading this one.

The fact is, in nearly every situation I’m aware of where this type decision is made, it’s not an issue of likability. It’s not we don’t love the person or their family. If this was the case, all this would be easy. It doesn’t even always mean the person did something wrong. At times, it is a simple issue of chemistry or fit and often the person proves later to be a great fit elsewhere.

Making this difficult decision has many times proven best for all parties involved, but admittedly, getting to the point of release is sometimes a most difficult process. As hard and delicate an issue as this is, it is poor stewardship, in my opinion, not to address the issue.

With this in mind, I always have people ask for suggestions when having to release someone from a ministry position. They want to know some best practices to protect the church and person?

Here are 5 suggestions when you have to fire someone in ministry:

Be certain

Not as much from a legal sense, but from a moral sense, we need to be sure this is the right move. (You need to be legal too and if you aren’t sure – ask. I have always consulted an attorney before anyone is released. Always.) The fact is it will be difficult. It may even be messy. There is usually some damage done to the body. You shouldn’t hide from the right decision because of it, but you should make sure you’re making the right decision.

Be generous

This will differ depending on the person’s tenure with the church and the reason for dismissal, but be as generous as you reasonably can be. This could be financial, but it could also be in the way you allow an exit to take place. I’ve had some unique situations to accommodate. Knowing how hard this is going to be for the affected party, as much as possible, be overly generous.

Be graceful

I’ve been involved in a few messy situations involving the release of a staff member. Many times the most gracious thing to the departing staffer is the information that’s not shared. There is always more to the story and everyone wants to know the “more” – sadly many times for the wrong reasons. Keeping information as confidential as possible extends grace to the person, the person’s family and the church. Grace should also be extended in creating an exit strategy which protects the person’s future employment possibilities, as much as possible. There may be moral or legal issues you feel obligated or legally have to share, but as much as possible, extend grace.

Be honest

Here, I am talking about what you communicate to the person being released. Don’t sugarcoat. Now is not the time. What’s the real reason? Hopefully, by this point, there has been sufficient due process and fair warning, except in cases where an immediate exit is the only option. Either way, tell the truth. I’ve seen churches disguise the real issues in an effort to land a “softer blow”. Many times this only creates more tension, because of the ambiguity and uncertainty of the dismissal.

Be helpful

How can the person improve for their next position? What are the areas they do well? In what ways can you help them land better into their next role? The person won’t always be open to your “help”, but you should be available to help them wherever and however they might be.

This is admittedly hard. No one enjoys this discussion or this process. I don’t even enjoy writing this blog post. We should be Biblical in our approach always, but it’s not Biblical to avoid hard issues hiding behind a label of ministry.

What other suggestions would you have when you have to release a person in ministry?

Thoughts on Firing People in Ministry – And Some Objections to Doing So

Dejected just fired an office worker with personal belongings in a box

This is a difficult post – about a difficult issue. It is one we don’t necessarily like to talk about in the church, but sometimes we must.

I came out of a business background, so some things which are done in ministry are different for me. And, frankly, many should be. Ministry isn’t business – it’s ministry. Let me say it again. Ministry isn’t business – it’s ministry.

Some of the people who think I don’t understand this need to read it one more time. Ministry isn’t business – it’s ministry.

At the same time, we should never hide in the label of ministry or us it as an excuse to waste Kingdom dollars. We need good practices of financial and people accountability. Just as the business world has to have healthy employment practices in place simply to stay in business – we need them in ministry. What we do is too important not to consider every dollar.

And, also frankly speaking, this hasn’t always been my experience in ministry.

I struggle being the bad guy, for example, about our utility bills. Some people are terrible about wasting electricity – especially not turning out lights. But, when your utility bill is larger than any one ministry budget you have to consider how you spend it.

Another example is in the area of staffing – people paid by the church. I’ve seen and encountered numerous times where staff people were allowed to continue drawing salaries from a church when their effectiveness is in serious question – or they aren’t even doing their job anymore. Everyone may know something needs to be done, but no one is willing to make the hard decision.

One of the hardest decisions any leader ever makes is to release someone from their employment. It should never be taken lightly. It always hurts. It wasn’t easy in business and it isn’t in ministry. But, sometimes it’s the right thing to do. And, it seems in ministry we are often much slower – if ever – to get there.

I was talking with a pastor who knows he needs to make a hard decision regarding a member of his staff, but he simply hasn’t been able to garner the support or gumption to do it. This person isn’t productive and isn’t trying to be. Though the person is hugely popular with the right crowd on Sunday, he has a damaging personality on the team during the week. He continually works against the pastor’s leadership – undermining him to other staff and lay leadership. The pastor has counseled with the person, has agreement from elders something needs to be done, but no one has been willing to make the hard decision. And, this has been the case for years – not months – years; and with more than one pastor. In the meantime, Kingdom dollars are admittedly being wasted. (I have had this same conversation numerous times with other pastors.)

Many times, in my experience, churches haven’t made the decision because of fear of how others will respond and they use “ministry” simply as an excuse. Again, many times the business world would have already made the obvious decision. After having this discussion countless times with church leaders, I often feel the need to address it. (Please know, I’m talking strictly about poor performance, not about those who lose their jobs because of tightening budgets. This, too, is a growing issue, but not one I’m addressing here.)

Here are some of the objections I’ve encountered and a few counter thoughts to consider:

We love the person – Of course. We love everyone. It’s what we are called to do. But, is this a good reason to empower bad behavior or to waste Kingdom dollars?

We don’t want to hurt their family – Of course not, again. And we should be gracious and generous in the exit strategy, and be willing to walk with the person through the recovery process as much as is reasonable and welcomed by the released person. But are we not also hurting other families who sacrifice and give to the church by misusing their resources on an ineffective staff member?

We are afraid we haven’t extended enough grace – I understand. We are to extend grace, but hasn’t there been a lot of grace given to allow the person to stay this long? When does truth come into play?

We are afraid of the ripple effects – And it’s understandable you would be. You should always consider how decisions will impact others. Yet the reality is you probably have ripple effects now anyway. You are injuring other ministries and jeopardizing future progress by delaying what you know you need to do. It will only get more difficult with time. At some point you may have to cut your losses.

Leaders have to make hard decisions. We should first do everything within our power to redeem the person’s job. (We did in business too. It’s much more efficient to retain an existing employee than to hire a new one.) But, protecting the vision for all may involve tough love for others.

Many times when we delay decisions like this we delay the healing which needs to occur and the benefits of making the right (and difficult) decision. Also, we send a dangerous message it’s acceptable to do whatever this person isn’t doing or is doing which merits being let go.

Notice I didn’t say this was easy. But genuine leadership never is easy. Don’t use ministry as an excuse. Pray about the matter diligently. Do everything in your power to redeem the person. Work through due process. Get wise advice from others before you make the decision – even from an attorney if needed. But, when the answer is clear what you need to do – do it.

Let me close with a word to those who have lost or may some day lose your job because of poor performance. I am not insensitive to your plight. In fact, I’ve helped numerous people pick up the pieces and begin again. I’ve hired people who were fired from a job and some of them made the best team members.

Sometimes being let go allows God an opportunity to do something new in your life – even something better. If you made mistakes, own them and learn from them. There is grace to begin again. Sometimes it was a matter of fit more than anything else, but whatever the reason, grow from it and let God restore the broken pieces. He specializes in restoration.

Okay, I’ve opened a can of worms. Please know I’m not trying to add insult to injury. These are difficult issues and should be prayerfully considered. They certainly, however, shouldn’t be ignored.

In my next post I will share some thoughts on how to do this gracefully.

7 Guarantees in Leadership

Closeup of businessman or salesman pointing to a white card with a Guaranteed sign on it. Conceptual of business marketing and quality trade.

I once had a leader who was an emphatic talker. He made statements with no reservation in them about things – honestly – I simply didn’t believe. He would say stuff such as, “There is no way this would ever work.” Really? No way? Maybe the chance is limited, but no way?

He impressed upon me enough I’ve always been hesitant about emphatic statements – unless they are Biblical truths, of course. 

But, I have some emphatic statements to make. I’m calling them guarantees. And, since I talk a great deal about leadership on this blog – these are leadership guarantees.

Here are 7 guarantees of leadership:

Every decision you make will produce a multiple of responses.

Some will agree. Some will not. And, some will not care either way. 

Change is inevitable. 

You can deny it. You can attempt to avoid it. You can be afraid of how people will react to it. But, change is coming either way. It’s best to be on the side of change where you at least have some chance of helping the change be for the best overall good of the people you lead. 

You will many times feel under appreciated. 

This is especially true if you are looking for appreciation. Of course, we all want to be appreciated, but great leaders are not as concerned about what other people think as they are about doing the right thing. And, because of this, they aren’t necessarily seeking personal recognition or applause. These leaders are methodical in their pursuit of progress, but not usually aware of how much good they actually are doing. 

You can never adequately predict how people will respond.  

Even the people you felt were your best supporters will sometimes turn on you if the decision you make does not go in their favor. And, then there will be some people who will rise to your support you didn’t even know were in your corner. 

You will seldom be 100% certain.  

There is always a level of risk with every decision you make. If you wait for perfect conditions you will seldom do anything. You should ask good questions, get plenty of input, and certainly pray for wisdom. Sometimes, however, you simply have to pull the trigger and get started. 

Some days it won’t seem you’ve accomplished anything.  

And, sometimes, looking back, these will be your best days. It might be because you spent all day investing in others – while other “work” goes undone. But, remember, if you are leading you are in a people business. People will always be your best efforts. 

You will make mistakes.  

And, you will make lots of them. But, you will learn from them even more than the things you do right. The best leaders I know do not hide the mistakes they make. They use them as life lessons and help others grow through them. 

I guarantee these to be true. Emphatically. 

Or, at least I’m 97.9% sure. 🙂

7 Ways I Hope to be a Kingdom-Minded Pastor

Building Blocks

Shortly after I arrived at our established church I began saying frequently, “I want to be a Kingdom-minded pastor”. The phrase seemed to catch some by surprise. They had heard the term, but they really didn’t know what I meant when I said it. Thankfully, rather than remaining curious, someone eventually asked me, “What do you mean by that?”

Great question.

Then recently, I was sharing stories of some people who had exhibited life change through the power of Christ in their life. Someone said to me, “Those are great stories, but are those people even members of our church?”

Wow! I realized we were talking two entirely different paradigms.

So, what do I mean by hoping to have a Kingdom building mindset?

Here are 7 ways I hope to be Kingdom building:

Care more about a person’s relationship to Jesus than their denominational loyalties.

Care more about a person growing to be like Christ than their membership in our church.

Care more about disciples being made than who gets credit for doing it or who gets to “count” them. 

Care more about the Gospel being shared than the methodology of sharing it – or whether a person walks the aisle of the church or sits in a coffee shop to have it explained to them. 

Care more about people’s growth than the church policies and procedures.

Care more about my obedience to Christ than my approval from others.

Care more about God’s glory than man’s recognition.

Care more about whether a person can worship than the style of music they choose to do so.

Okay, there is 8, but I care less about the number than you getting the point of this post.

By the way, in my opinion, we tend to work hardest for what we care about most.

I am not at all saying I don’t want people to connect with the local church – even our local church. I hope we are a good option. But, their relationship with their Creator is where I’m most motivated. Let us begin there.

Pick Up Your Mat and Walk!

iStock_000004255724XSmall

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” John 5:8

In order to appreciate the value of Jesus’ command, you need to consider the culture of the day. Today, although some may feel we don’t do enough, there are limited opportunities for the physically handicapped to work and lead productive lives. In Christ’s time on earth, the handicapped were outcast. They lived off handouts they could obtain from begging.

In the above instance, the man had been crippled for a long time. Probably the only possessions he had were the clothes on his back and the mat on which he lay. The mat was almost a symbol of the only hope in his life. His existence was one to be pitied. There was no known cure for what ailed him (except Jesus), and even if there had been, he certainly couldn’t have afforded it.

Jesus had sympathy for the man, and with the spoken word, the man was healed. Jesus told him to “Get up!” Take his mat and walk. Obviously, this was a gift greater than anything money could have bought.

Whenever I read this verse, this question comes to mind:

What mat am I holding on to today?

This man was holding on to his mat. It had surely become a treasured possession to him. He slept on it, rested on it, and watched the world pass by on it. He couldn’t have imagined facing the day without it. Jesus tells him to pick it up and walk. When Jesus was finished with the man, he didn’t need the mat anymore. It would take faith to trust Jesus and attempt to walk, but the victory was worth it all. Instead of a mat of hope, this man had the hope of Christ!

What would Jesus have you and I pick up today? What are you holding on to tightly as your only hope?

  • Money
  • Health
  • Relationships
  • Hobbies
    • I think Jesus was telling the man to pick up his mat because he wouldn’t need it anymore. He wouldn’t need a place to beg, to worry, to suffer. He needed no more dependence on a mat. He had found the Healer!

      And, I think even today – whatever you are holding on to tighter than your faith, I believe Jesus would say, “Pick up your mat and walk!”

      If we aren’t careful our mats can become our hope rather than our hope being in Christ.

      Our goal should be to trust Him with we trust in most. We are to allow Him to carry our burdens, strengthen our walk and brighten our future.

      Jesus wants to help you – and, the best way He can do this is lead you to trust Him more. Listen for His command to pick up your mat and walk!

Freedom Passes – The New Math of Leadership

Student studying math on the blackboard full of formulas

When I was in school I had a love-hate relationship with math.

I loved doing math – working to find an answer to a problem. In fact, I was pretty good at it. I even served on the math team for a while.

But I hated having to solve the problem with the teacher’s methods.

On tests I would do poorly if the teacher made us show our work. I could get the right answers, but I wanted to use my own methods. The years I was on the math team and did best were when I had teachers who allowed me the freedom to find answers my way.

I realize the teacher needed to make sure I wasn’t cheating and I knew how to think through a specified process, but I wanted to invent my own process.

I think there is a leadership principle here. I have seen it so many times. 

If you want to empower people – give them a freedom pass.

In fact, if your team is currently stalled – maybe you need to hand out some freedom passes.

What’s a freedom pass? It is giving your people the freedom to complete their assignments in the way which works best for them. 

Successful leaders understand organizational success involves letting people figure out their own way. If you want team members to be energized towards progress they must be empowered to develop their own strategies for attaining the goals and objectives.

You still hold team members accountable for progress, but you allow them freedom to choose the process of completion. In practical terms this could be the hours they choose to work, where they do their work, and often who they include on their individual team. 

When you allow people to script the “how” they are more motivated to complete the “what”. People need space to create. They need to have input into the process of completing the vision of the team or organization.

Give people a Freedom Pass. It’s the new math of leadership. 

5 Mature Ways for a Leader to Respond Under Stress

Money Worries

Every organization and team has times where everyone is stretched, stress abounds, and even times where it seems things are going backwards for a while. It could be a crisis or an exceptionally busy season. It could be internal or external issues causing the stressful times. During these seasons good leadership is more critical than ever.

Mature leaders know the way they respond in stress will directly impact the organization and everyone attempting to follow them.

Here are 5 mature ways for a leader to respond during stressful times:

A level head

A leader must display a calmness in the midst of crisis. If the leader panics everyone panics. Trying times test a team and the leader doesn’t needs to add a calmness to the situation, helping assure people everything will be okay. This does not mean giving a false hope. People should understand reality, but it does mean helping people find their sense of balance in the midst of what may seem hopeless in their minds.

Steadfastness

There will always be temptations to give up under stress. A leader walks by faith and keeps the team moving forward. You can read the hard lesson I learned about this issue in my post of advice to the leader when things are going wrong. Through good times and the bad times the leader must stand firm.

Integrity

Character is tested during stressful times. A leader must remain unquestioned in his or her integrity for the health of the team and organization. People will watch to see how a leader responds. What a leader says or does will be taken seriously and subject to people’s own interpretations. This is why we must strive to be above reproach.

Strategic-thinking

Decisions are harder to make but more important during stressful times. The leader must think strategically for the organization – helping to steer towards clarity and progress. (Read a post about thinking strategically in the moment HERE)

Personal well-being

Leaders must remain healthy personally in order to continue to lead the organization. There will be a tendency to never leave the office, but during times of stress, the leader must continue to exercise, eat well, and be disciplined in rest. The leader must guard his or hear heart spiritually, knowing temptation is especially powerful under duress. The health of the leader directly impacts the health of the team.

Leader, have you ever had to lead during especially stressful times? Are you there now?

What would you add to my list?

7 Vital Components Needed for Church Revitalization to be Effective

Word cloud in puzzle shape with self development terms.

It has been four years since I entered church revitalization after two church plants. I had done something similar previously in ministry. My first church after entering vocational ministry needed revitalization.

I fell in love with the energy of starting something new in church planting. At the same time, I continued to be concerned for churches like the one in which I was raised – the church which has seen better days. I became more convinced we need new energy in both.

This experience of church revitalization has given me the tremendous blessing and opportunity, fueled by this blog platform, to speak not only to church planters (who I still love by the way), but also those who are attempting church revitalization. In the process, of these four years I have learning some things – lots of things.

There appear to be some vital elements for a healthy revitalization to occur.

Granted, the Holy Spirit must show up and God must be glorified. And, we know this can happen with a room of donkeys, but in general terms, working with normal church people (whatever normal means in church work) there are components, which I believe need to be in place to see a church revitalize.

Here are 7 vital components in church revitalization:

Admitting you need to revitalize

This is hard, isn’t it? I remember shortly after I arrived a senior member of our church visited another church which had undergone revitalization. She saw the excitement and came back with a new understanding. Her comment to one of our staff members was, “We have to change some things, don’t we? We don’t have a choice!” The church as a whole must come to this level of understanding.

Letting go of right to control

This is what makes or breaks revitalization in many churches. If the “No Change Allowed” sign is hung – or even the “but not that change” – on issues which aren’t even Biblical, then revitalizing the church will be very difficult.

A vision of something better

What’s next for this church? Where are we going? How are we going to get there? There must be a compelling vision, such as loving a community for Christ and clear avenues for people to be involved in reaching the vision.

A history worth revitalizing

This will be the toughest part of this post. There are some toxic churches which seem to have never been healthy. They’ve run off every pastor they’ve called. Many of these churches wouldn’t follow Jesus well either. They are stuck in systems and personal agendas – usually run by a few people – and aren’t going to budge. (I realize this is a cruel statement, but it is sadly a very repeated reality.)

Leadership willing to lead change

This is more than the pastor. In many cases, the pastor is only the figure head of vision and change. Change is hard. It requires trusted leaders within the church willing to step up and lead along side the pastor. There is a difference in trust and popularity as a leader. Sometimes the pastor may be popular, but hasn’t earned the level of trust longer term members have. The pastor needs these people to help guide change. Collective leadership is so important – always – but, especially in the early days of revitalization.

The tenacity to weather storms

It won’t be easy. It’s far easier to start something than to try to grow again after a period of decline. The longer the decline the longer it will take to see revitalization. Some pastors, leaders and churches have the patience. Some don’t.

A few committed people

You need some people already established in the church – not just leadership – who love the church more than their personal agenda. These might be leaders or might not. Many times newer people attracted during times of change don’t have the roots or credibility to do this. As great as they are – and even with them as a primary focus – the church needs longer term people to embrace a new future. These people have to support the pastor, speak up for the changes and create an atmosphere conducive for growth again.

Well, those are my candid observations. They aren’t based solely on opinion, but they certainly aren’t a product of extensive research either. They are derived from my experience and hundreds of conversations with other pastors and my own personal experience.

Here’s to revitalizing the church to the glory of God!

7 Words of Encouragement to the Pastor Busted by Perry Noble

Portrait of businessman looking hopeless while working late at night on black background with copy space

I have a heart for hurting pastors. Several years ago I bought the domain name HurtingPastors.com, but have yet to do anything with it. My schedule hasn’t allowed the time, but my heart for pastors in trouble has continued to grow stronger. Over the years, and in a few different churches, we have been blessed to have some of the pastors in between ministries, or who have dropped out of ministry, attend our church while they recover.

So recently when another mega church pastor hit the news for having been removed from the pastorate my heart went out to him. And, there have been so many others in recent years. It breaks my heart, because I believe it surely must break the heart of God. And, gives the enemy a (temporary) laugh. 

But, my heart, as much as it goes out to the ones we’ve known, goes out equally to the ones we don’t. Surely all pastors are under temptation. Some more than others on any given day. 

So, I have a question. It won’t be for all my readers today, but I hope it reaches the one who needs it most – whoever you are. 

Here is my question: 

While the Christian world was buzzing a few weeks ago about pastor Perry Noble – were you sweating profusely thinking – “Wow! It could have been me!”? 

Perry was busted. Bloggers and Christian news agencies were scrambling to get a post up about his dismissal from the church due to struggles with alcoholism. Thankfully, most of the posts I read were encouraging of grace. The responses I have seen from Perry have been remorseful and, honestly, helpful to Newspring and the Body of Christ in dealing with yet another fallen pastor story. He admitted his wrong, asked forgiveness, agreed with the decision of church elders and encouraged people to continue attending and supporting the leadership of the church.

By all appearances we didn’t shoot our wounded too badly this time. Good job, church. 

(Honestly, this is one of the reasons I usually choose not to post on these stories – and, why I waited on this one. I don’t want to appear to capitalize on the downfall of one of our own.)

But, my heart goes out to the other group I mentioned. I’m not ignoring Perry. I certainly pray the best for him. I have met him a couple times, and although we are not personal friends, I would certainly help him any way I could to seek restoration. 

I just got the feeling Perry’s story probably had a far reaching impact – well beyond Perry and the Newspring family.

Because Perry was such a public figure – because his sins were made widely known – because he was removed in such a public way – there were countless others who could have been – but weren’t. The story could have easily been about you. This time it wasn’t.

Perry was busted. And, for now, there are other pastors still able to hide their sins.

Those are the ones to whom I am writing. If reading of Perry’s downfall caused you to cringe a little – if conviction began to rise in you and you felt a sweltering of guilt in your gut – this post is for you! 

If you have hidden sins of alcoholism, drugs, pornography – maybe even an affair – I want to say a word to you. If you’re caught in depression – or emotionally you are about to crash – if the weight and the secrecy of your sin is overbearing – will you keep reading? 

Here are 7 words of encouragement to the pastor who got busted by Perry Noble:

Jesus loves you. Yea, He still does. You hopefully teach this to your church every Sunday. Please, know it applies to you also. Still. 

You need help. You know this. Again, you would tell anyone in the church this who was living in the sin in which you are living. What makes you think you can do this on your own. We aren’t designed by our Creater to do life alone. Yes, you’ve probably been crying out to Him, and you should continue to do so. You should be wise to whom you confess, but God designed community for times like these.

It will be hard to admit. No sugar-coating here. I’m not pretending otherwise. Saying the first words – admitting the sin – those will be some of the most difficult words you’ve ever spoken. The hardest step will be telling the people you love the most. 

Consequences will be what they will. Yea, I know, this is the one which scares you most. And, we don’t always get a reprieve from consequences. No guarantees the mercy of God will remove them from you. Sometimes, however, our mind is capable of a worst case scenario far greater than reality. The focus in your mind should be less on the consequences, however, and more on the recovery you want to eventually experience.

It’s better to come forward on your own. It is. There is less of a scandal this way. It won’t be as messy. Control is not what you should be seeking now, but it will help you feel less out of control. 

You probably have more supporters than you think you do. There are people who will love you even at your worst. These are the genuine people. They weren’t following or loving you because you held a position of authority. They were following and loving you because you are you. And, what a blessing these people will be when they are truly revealed. And, there are those people around you. I’m sure of it. 

The other side is brighter than today. Because this side is miserable, isn’t it? Hiding. The lies. The lies to cover up the lies. The lies you even tell yourself. Not feeling you are doing your best. The hidden guilt and shame. How much longer do you want to feel this way? 

Some will disagree with where and when – and, I wouldn’t worry about this right now – but, I believe if God placed a call on your life it is still there today. Part of your recovery may be figuring out where God will use you next. He loves to restore people and use them as testimonies of His grace. The Bible we love and teach is full of these stories. Cling to them now and let them fuel you for the days ahead.

Please know my goal is to help, not produce further injury. If you’ve got coal to dump on fallen pastors – or others – keep trolling, please.  

Also, and I edited the post to include this comment, this advice applies to more people than pastors. They just seem to be the ones who make the news and our large part of my readership.