Is fear an appropriate tool for motivation?

We see it in many segments of society.

Rental car companies use it to sell extras to a rental contract…..

I receive dozens of emails from pastors each week. This one caught my attention and I asked permission to use it here. Hopefully others will benefit from my response and weigh in with their own thoughts. I have changed his name.

Ron,

I hope all is well with you. I frequent your blogs ever so often via twitter, which I do enjoy. the reason for this email is for some direction. It is my belief that the Lord has called me to be a pastor, however I am presently single. I wanted to find out what are some of the qualities one should look for and how should I go about finding a wife as a future pastor. I have been keeping the issue in prayer.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Sincerely,

Mike

Dear Mike,

Most likely you will not be able to pick every expectation or qualification you have for a spouse. I think is is wise, however, to have a goal. You are more likely to reach a target for which you aim. With that in mind, here are 7 qualities I believe make up the ideal pastor’s wife:

Last week I wrote about living with introversion in the ministry. You can read

7 Pitfalls of Being an Introverted Pastor

and

7 Ways I Work with Introversion to Protect My Ministry

Each of these posts, and every post I ever do about introversion, creates interest from those who share this part of my personality. I had several people at church this week comment on the posts. Apparently, this is an issue worth talking about more!

In an effort to help people, my online friend Adam McHugh, who writes a blog called Introverted Church, is offering his book Introverts in the Church to my readers.

If a pastor is not careful, the weight of everyone else’s problems will take precedence over the issues and concerns of his immediate family. I see it frequently among pastors I encounter. There have been seasons of my ministry where this is the case, especially on abnormally stressful days.

I decided years ago when I was a small business owner, serving in an elected office and on dozens of non-profit boards that my busyness would never detract from my family life.

Here are 7 ways I attempt to protect my family from the stress of ministry.

When we were in Sierra Leone Africa earlier this summer we saw some of the most unique and beautiful beaches I have seen anywhere in the world. Interestingly, the people don’t seem to appreciate or enjoy the beauty they have right next to them as much as one would think they do. I can’t help but think if I had this beach in my backyard that I’d be on it frequently. We baptized people at the beach who lived a few hundred feet from the water yet had never been in it before.

On one trip to the beach, as I stood mesmerized by the beauty of perfect blue skies, sand, ocean waves, boulder-sized rocks and mountains in the background, I couldn’t help but ask a pastor friend how it all formed in his mind. The rocks that line the ocean appear to have developed by volcanic activity. I ask him if he knew the make-up of the rocks and how they formed…and if he knew of any volcanoes in the vicinity.

He looked at me with complete sincerity and said very simply, “God is great!”

I was quickly humbled in my search for answers and reminded of a few truths:

Recently I had the privilege of speaking to some executive pastors about a senior pastor’s expectations for their role. Part of a healthy organization is recognizing the individual roles and responsibilities of the others on the team. I felt it was important that I first help them understand the pastor better, so I shared 10 Things You May Not Know about the Senior Pastor. You may want to read that post first.

I continued my talk by sharing how other staff members within the church can support the position of senior pastor. I realize our church would have never been successful without the creativity, diligence and leadership of the staff at Grace Community Church. Part of our success has been the way our staff has assisted my co-pastor and me in our work, but the role of a senior pastor is unique also.

Here are 10 expectations I believe are important for those who serve on a church staff in supporting the leadership of a senior pastor:

Casey Graham and Joe Sangl have become good friends. Casey and Joe share several things in common with each other. They are both incredibly high-energy, they are both funny (or think they are) and, most importantly, they both share a heart to help churches and people live in financial freedom. Specifically for the church, their desire is for churches to be able to fully fund the vision God has given the church.

As writers of the new book, “Funded and Free”, Casey and Joe combine their practical experience serving on church staffs with their most current experience helping churches and individuals across the nation achieve financial success. In this easy-to-read, practical and concise book, Casey and Joe help us understand the obstacles churches face and how to deal appropriately with finances and debt. Every church leader needs to read this book.

It seems to me from my ministry experience that marriage has never been threatened more than it is today. It’s true in all segments of our society, including marriages of those in the ministry. That’s why I’m excited to tell you about RefineUs Marriage Ministry. Justin and Trisha Davis are allowing God to use their story to help strength, save and grow marriages. Their ministry has already helped marriages in our church and I believe they can help yours.

Here are some of the offerings RefineUs has to offer:

Pastor burnout is a common problem in the church today. I hear from pastors everyday facing the stress of ministry.

Here’s a common scenario that can cause that to happen…it may be the most common one I hear…perhaps this is your story:

I had an opportunity this week thanks to Casey Graham to speak to a group of executive pastors. I was asked to give my perspective as a senior pastor, since each of them report to one. I thought you might also be interested in what I shared. Since I was addressing other issues in addition to this, I was limited on time, so I have added a few since I spoke with them.

Here are 10 things you may not know about a senior pastor: