I consistently encounter people who are desperate for friendships. They feel completely alone. I understand. I’ve been there in several seasons of my life and, as an Introvert, I’ve often felt left on the sidelines while others enjoyed the party.

Here is my best suggestion if you feel all alone:

• If you want more friends, be a friend…
• If you want more connections, connect with someone…
• If you want to hang out with people, invite someone to hang out with you…
• If you want to feel loved, love someone…

I’m not trying to be cruel or make this seem overly simplistic. I know what it’s like to feel all alone. I really do. At some point, however, you have to take some ownership of your situation.

It seems to me that many people who complain that no one cares aren’t investing in other people. It’s not that they don’t care to invest, or that they are bad people, they just haven’t initiated the first step. If you wait for other people to move towards you they may never move. Be willing to initiate, even if it is out of your comfort zone.

Do you need this reminder?

When is the last time you tried to make a new friend?

Here is a huge leadership lid I have witnessed firsthand. In fact, it’s one that has crippled my leadership in years past. (I wrote a post about one of those times HERE).

Here’s the lid:

Your ability to respond under stress, to criticism and to failure will determine the height of leadership you can sustain or achieve.

You can make excuses all you want, but the one who claims to be the leader:

• Must keep standing when everyone else is “sitting the next one out”.
• Must keep dreaming when everyone else is satisfied with status quo.
• Must remain steadfast to a vision when critics want to derail the course.
• Must display strength during times of chaos.
• Must choose to move forward when everyone else is retreating.
• Must follow through when everyone else is stalling.

Where’s your leadership lid? Do you need to raise it a bit higher?

Get better so you can get bigger.

You may want to read THIS POST or THIS POST now.

God said something to me today!

I’ll be honest, as someone who is supposed to teach others how to have a relationship with God, and to actually hear from God, I’m always somewhat startled when He chooses to speak to me. Anyway, today He said something to me.

Let me set up the scenario for you, so you’ll understand the context.

This week I’m at the beach. My oldest son, Jeremy, is getting married and our youngest son Nate is his best man. I get to perform the ceremony. How cool is that? Anyway, this morning I went for my normal morning run. When I’m out of town I normally run further, because the scenery changes, so I ran 4 1/2 miles before I realized how long I’d been running. I decided to stop, buy a drink, and sit and look at the beach for a few minutes, before running back.

As I was sitting there, I became enchanted with the size and power of the waves. I watched a little boy running away from them, and nearly get knocked down by one. I saw a couple walking the beach get splashed unexpectedly. Mostly, however, I just saw the beach being pounded by wave after wave after wave. I have been to the beach many times and I never get tired of watching the ocean display God’s glory. In that moment, I did as I’ve done so many times before…I bragged to God about His handiwork.

I prayed, “God, this is so majestic; so powerful, and You made it all. Every wave I’m seeing today was shaped by You! You are so incredible and worthy to be praised! What a mighty God I serve!”

Have you ever had such emotions flood you when you see God’s creation? Which part of His creation brings those kind of thoughts to your mind?

Anyway, as I was praying, I sensed God say something else. It was almost as if He said, “Hold on Ron, (I always love that He knows my name) you’re talking so fast and thinking so big, you may have missed something.” I paused to listen to the God I was talking to and it seems I heard Him say:

“In the process of thinking BIG, don’t forget to think small.”

I looked down and saw the sand all around me. I was instantly reminded that God made every grain of sand. I’ve been told that no two grains are the same. My God knows each one of them and the Bible seems to indicate God may know how many grains there are…I think He does. Instantly, this passage came to my mind:

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:17-18

I don’t know exactly all God was teaching me in that moment. I know I’m a big thinker. I always have a new dream. I don’t think He was telling me not to think big. I’ll obviously never out-think Him and He tends to stretch us towards big dreams in HIs word (…no eye has seen…no mind has conceived…what God has prepared…).

For now, I think He was simply, kindly and gently reminding me that “In the process of thinking BIG, don’t forget to think small.” I’ll continue to process that thought and how it may apply to my life in the weeks to come.

Do you have insight or thoughts for me as to what that could mean? What could that mean if you applied what God said in your own life?

BTW, If you are struggling to hear from God you may consider reading this previous post:

Hearing a Word from God

Has God been saying anything to you lately? I’d love for you to share it here.

This is a random Sunday afternoon post…

I want to encourage us to have a great week this next week…

I believe and strive for continual improvement…

In my experience, this happens best when we make intentional changes…

That’s the point of this post…

This next week, I want to encourage…challenge…even dare you to make an intentional change to improve something in your life…

I’ll go first…

This week, I plan to pray more specifically…

I frequently use a prayer list, but I seldom follow it…

This week I want that to change…

Now your turn…

It can be anything…about any subject…just so it’s an intentional change to improve your life…

What intentional change are you going to make this week to make things better in your life?

GO!

I met with a young man recently who is passionate about growing in his relationship with God, being a better husband and father, becoming more active in the church and community and excelling in his work.

He’s sensing an internal, self-induced tension to do more and be better in each area of his life.

His question to me was basically, how can he balance all the things he wants to do or feels he needs to be doing?

I certainly understood the question. It’s a pressure I’ve experienced many times in my life, especially during certain seasons. In fact, I’m sensing it again as I entered the empty-nester phase of life. I do believe in order to be successful with all the demands a person has, one has to get better personally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and relationally, before we can achieve more but, I think there may be a better answer than that.

I gave him one word of advice that has helped me during those seasons. Perhaps you need to hear this as well.

I challenged him to consider if he was asking the right question.

Instead of asking…

What should I be doing?

Maybe he should be asking…

Who do I want to be?

I have found that when I consider the person I want to be that the actions I need to take to get there become clearer. In fact, many of the actions I may have thought I needed to take, become less important, because they don’t seem to help me become who I say I want to be.

Which question are you or do you most need to be asking?

Do you seem to struggle to get where you hope to get in life? Do you watch as others accomplish their dreams, but yours never seem to materialize? Why do some people move forward after difficulties, but others stall?

In my experience, there are a few common reasons people are held back from accomplishing their dreams, even their God-given dreams and why people stall in life.

Here are 3 stumbling blocks to moving forward:

Refusing to let go of the past – When people allow failures or mistakes to define their life, they often refuse to try again. Many people continue the blame game, never getting past the injury caused by others. Instead of moving forward in spite of a painful past, many allow their past to remain their destiny.

Holding on to fear – Fear is a natural emotion and can actually keep us from making mistakes at times. The negative use of fear grips a person’s reality and clouds his or her ability to see beyond that which a person fears. When fear is allowed to be dominant over a willingness to take a risk, however, the person stalls.

Failing to take action – Let’s face it. Some people are lazy and refuse to assume their individual responsibility that is required to move forward. Many people aren’t lazy, but they stall because, for whatever reason, they fail to take a step towards their dream, either assuming a perfect timing will come or the stars will align in a certain order granting instant success. Unless action is taken, however, dreams almost always remain simply a dream, and never become reality.

Be honest with yourself. Which of these is keeping you from moving forward?

Have you seen other reasons? What would you add to my list?

I’ve only made 7 bad decisions in my life…

Or something like that…

The problem is I’ve just multiplied the same bad decisions over and over again..

Here are my 7 bad decisions:

• Following my way over God’s way…
• Choosing temporary pleasures over a lifetime of joy…
• Abusing grace and love…
• Ignoring an opportunity and failing to take a risk…
• Not saying enough is enough soon enough…
• Holding a grudge rather than offering forgiveness…
• Underestimating God’s power, love and grace….

So I’m pretty good…only 7 bad decisions…repeated consistently…throughout my life…

Do you have bad decisions I don’t have?

What would you add to my list?

Which one of my bad decisions have you made the most…or cost you the most?

There are some things we can’t change and some things we can. Learning the difference and adjusting accordingly is in large part one of the secret’s of a happy life. Concentrating more on the things you can’t change than on the things you can causes frustration, disappointment, and even depression. Let me list a few and you’ll see what I mean.

Things you CAN’T change:

God’s sovereignty
The circumstances around you
The weather
The day of the week
Your past
Other people’s actions
Time passing
Words said to you
The economy
Your heritage

Things you CAN change:

Your prayer life
Your attitude
Your perspective
Your reaction to other people’s actions
Your words
Your preparation
Your priorities
Your habits
Your commitment level
Your facial expression

What examples would you add to my list of things you can’t change and things you can’t?

Which of the things you can change do you need to change today?

Here is my Easter message. We were in the gym, so the quality of the video isn’t as good as usual, but this is an Easter message especially for those who have been shaken in this past year…and are having difficulty finding their way.

As a pastor, I have seen so many times, in my life and in others, that our emotions, as real as they seem at the time…may not be reality…but they are your perceived reality. And sometimes, just being honest, because of our emotional state…that reality seems more real to us than even the truth we may know.

Have you ever been there? If so, the Easter story has a message for you:

And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you Luke 24: 5-6

Easter reminds me that I often make the mistake of those who were seeking the crucified Christ.

I look for the living among the dead…

I look at my past mistakes and think I can’t do better…

I look at my failures and think I’m defeated…

I look at those who cast doubt upon me and think they speak truth…

I look at my inadequacies and think I’m limited…

I look at my problems and forget that His mercies are new every morning…

I look for the living among the dead…

Are you looking for the living among the dead?

Let Easter remind you we serve a RISEN Savior!

The tomb is empty!

Live that way!