Yesterday’s message at Grace Community Church was about having and keeping a vision for your life.  The summary points were: 

• Dream Big

• Set some short-term, Realistic Goals

• Make a plan to achieve your goals…

Come up with action steps to help you meet those goals.

• Begin to form healthy habits

Habits form through consistency

• Reward Yourself.

Celebrate the victory of achieving your vision. 

For the complete message, go to the podcast at http://gcc.libsyn.com and listen to the January 4^, 2009 message. (It should be posted soon.) 

Here’s hoping and praying 2009 is your best year ever! 

This post originated from the radio program I’ve been doing for 15 years or more.  It’s a Christian talk show and I have one of my closest friends as my co-host.  He was out of town one morning for Christmas break and I had to do the show alone. As I was preparing that morning I read Mark 5. The story of the woman subject to bleeding has stuck with me for several weeks now.

To save you time looking up the story, I have pasted it here:

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”  “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”  Mark 5:24-34 NIV

The story prompted a thought that I shared that morning on the radio.  What am I going to do with Jesus in the New Year?  Here’s what came to me from this story.

1.      Seek Jesus more passionately. 

Once this woman heard of Jesus she began to track Him. She was a “Jesus groupie” of sorts.  She knew Jesus was her only hope.  That’s the way I want to pursue Him in the New Year.

2.      Cling to Jesus more tightly.

It did not matter to the woman that she was not supposed to be in the crowd.  Her physical condition should have kept her away, but she was willing to risk everything to “touch His garment”.  I want that kind of commitment to Christ in the New Year.

3.      Claim Jesus more readily.

When Jesus turned to look for the person who had touched him, the woman came forward.  She could have left. She got what she wanted, but she was willing to declare her faith publicly.  In 2009, I don’t want to miss opportunities to tell others about the faith I have in Jesus Christ!

4.      Experience Jesus more expectedly. 

The woman was healed! Her faith was rewarded.  She went from being an embarrassment to the crowd to the star of the day.  Honoring Christ comes with great reward. He blesses those who place their complete faith in Him. This year, I want to see Christ bigger than ever before.  I expect to see Him magnified greatly, as I place my total trust and faith in Him and watch expectantly for His appearance in my life! 

What are you going to do with Jesus in the New Year? 

Yesterday I posted a titled “I Want More in 2009”.   It prompted a good comment question from Freddy T. Wyatt, my church planting friend in NYC.  His basic question: How do you fit more into an already busy schedule?  I agree.  Great question.  If we are going to “do more” in 2009 we have to find a place to put it.  Here are a few tips to help create more margin of time in your life.  As I told Freddy T, this post is more theory-based.  Each of these represents areas I need to improve upon in my life. 

1.      Put God first. 

It’s amazing in my week and day if I start the day talking to God about my day.  If I ask God for margin in my time and to help me complete my “to do” list, He actually seems to listen and help me.  (Try it!)

2.      Prioritize your life. 

It is important to have a life purpose.  What do you value most? Without knowing this we find ourselves chasing after many things that have little value. 

3.      Make sure your priorities line up with your desires. 

That sounds like a contradiction in terms, but it is not.  Many times, we say our purpose is one thing, but what we actually do is something entirely different.  That is often because people are going to do what people want to do. We may need to ask God to change our heart and plant in us His desires. 

4.      Stop unnecessary time-wasters. 

If you “veg” out every night on 3+ hours of television or surfing the net, don’t be surprised that you didn’t get a blog post written or spend quality time with your children. Most of us form bad habits or have unorganized methods of doing something that waste bulks of our time.  Make a list of what you spend the most time doing and see if there are places you can cut.  (I suspect there will be.) 

5.      Work smarter.

I can’t imagine being successful and leading a team without some system of calendaring your week or keeping a planner, yet I know so many pastors and other ministers who simply handle things as they come up rather than work with a plan. The benefit of organization is that you can do what you need to do more efficiently and faster and be more productive.

6.      Schedule times to organize.

This is so important, but most people don’t do it.  Spending an hour or two actually planning the week will make the whole week more productive.  Usually for me this is the first part of my week.  If I know where I’m headed and my work space is organized for efficiency, it’s much easier to get everything done and still handle distractions, which are sure to come. 

7.      Do the most necessary things first.

You may have tried the A/B/C list of scheduling priorities. It doesn’t matter what system you use, but the important thing is that you have one and use it to help your rate of completion. 

8.      Don’t say yes to everything.

Be picky with your time allotment based again on your end priorities and goals.

9.      Schedule down time. 

Especially when my boys were younger, I would write on my calendar time for them. That may sound mechanical, but it allows you to be there and keeps things and others from filling up your schedule.  (I still schedule this time for Cheryl.)

10.  Evaluate your schedule often. 

Plans should not be implemented and then ignored.  Develop your plan to create margin in your life, then periodically review the plan to see how you are doing and what needs to be changed.

For some people just reading this is laborsome. I especially encourage those of you geared this way to push through the difficult part of this and give it a try. You will be surprised what a positive difference it will have on your life.

Freddy T. also asked what I think is people’s greatest time-wasters.  I don’t know, but I am curious.  What do you think you waste the most time doing unnecessarily? 

Earlier today I shared questions I recently asked our staff to help them prepare for a better 2009.  In fairness, I felt I needed to answer these questions myself.  Here are my answers. 

1.      What task do you have to perform in your area of responsibility that you most need to get better at doing?

I need to improve in my communication to people who look to me for leadership.  I have MANY thoughts.  I do not always do a good job of sharing where my current thoughts are taking me.  Sometimes I make people fearful around me because they do not know what I am going to propose next.

2.      In what area of the ministry (organization) do you wish you had more experience?

I wish I had more experience leading people in the area of personal finance and church giving.  We need people to understand the value of giving, but I know so many people who have closed their heart to church because that is all we think we care about is their money.    How do we balance the two? 

3.      What personal or spiritual discipline do you want to improve in 2009?

This year, because of school and ministry time demands, I have slacked off on reading; both the Bible and for pleasure.  It seems I only read for a determined purpose.  I want to spend quality and quantity of time reading again.

4.      How can Chad and I personally help you improve in your work, spiritual, or personal life in 2009? 

Well, Chad could share some of his income with me.  Just kidding.  Chad can certainly pray for me, but since we work together, I need others around me who will hold me accountable to be the person I claim to be each time I speak.  Here is your invitation! 

I want to encourage you to release your children to explore their own faith.  Okay, that sounds very liberal.  I apologize, but let me explain. I hope your children have a solid faith in the one true Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I would make that a part of daily prayer and intentionally lead them towards that reality for their own life.  The truth, however, is that your children are some day going to question their faith.  At some point in life, most people I know have questioned whether what they have always believed is true. My encouragement is to let some of that process occur while your children still live in your home or under your authority. 

With that in mind, here are five quick suggestions to consider to spur a life-long faith and to allow your children to explore their faith:

1.      When children are very young, set the stage for them spiritually with what you think is best for them.  For example, if church is important, and I think it is, then do not let a 2 year old determine whether you go to church.  Take them to church on a regular basis so it becomes a natural part of who they are as individuals.

2.      At the same time, let the children’s needs play a part in deciding what church to attend.  As tough as it may be on grandparents not to have their grandchildren in the same church, it would be better to have your children actually love their church experience than to attend somewhere they do not enjoy going. 

3.      Find opportunities to talk about faith and God in non-threatening, everyday environments.  Talk about God should never be limited to “church time”.  Make God part of your normal life.  (He is you know!) Model living a life for Christ in front of your child.

4.      As a child, having been raised in church and heard all the “stories”, attempts to explore his own faith, do not feel the pressure to answer every question they have.  If children are seeking truth, guide them towards the source of truth (God’s Word) and let them explore it for themselves.  This is the only way to make sure your children actually “own” their faith.  When one of my boys was questioning eternal security, for example, I suggested he read the conflicting passages on the subject and encouraged him to reach his own conclusion.  (He did, btw, and landed in the same place I land.) 

5.      Keep the lines of communication open even when your children are questioning what they believe.  I have known so many parents who “freak” when their children express opinions about their faith that are contrary to their parents.  I have never seen this reaction work to their favor.  It usually causes further separation between the child and the parent.  This is where I believe Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.) comes into play.  Parent towards Christ early in your child’s life, release them to explore, keep praying for them and loving them, and the principle in Proverbs is that they will return to their roots in time. 

Children are going to question their faith someday.  Any faith worth having involves periods of testing over time.  Chances are good that you questioned your faith at some point.  Allow your children to test their faith in God, but pray it happens while they are still in your home or listening to your counsel so you will be there to help them find their way Home again. 

Continuing the series on the parenting model based on the Olive Tree; we are attempting to produce spiritual fruit in our children that will last for generations. You can read the beginning post HERE.  

Today we see a few more virtues we and some ways to instill them in our children. 

PATIENCE        

This is a tough one, because it is one of my weak points, but it is a part of the fruit of the Spirit God has encouraged us to have, so here are some actions to help your children have this trait: 

*Let them see you waiting patiently. (If my boys or my wife reads this they will be wondering when they will see this in me. Still, I have had to wait for many big picture things in my life many times.  I’ve attempted to do so patiently.) 

*Make children wait sometimes. Children shouldn’t get everything right away and they certainly shouldn’t be able to demand it with temper-tantrums or tears.  One statistic I read says that children today get 90% of everything they want, yet as adults they will get less than 25%.  We are setting them up for failure when we give them everything. 

*Don’t be a complainer. Do everything without complaining or arguing. (Phil 2:14)

*Don’t let your children think they are the center of the universe.  They are not; actually God is.    Encourage them, but don’t crown them kings. 

KINDNESS            

Kindness could be defined as “genuine friendliness, helpfulness and generosity”.  Here are some ways to instill kindness in your children: 

*Be a giver and not a taker.  Let your children see you giving to others regularly. 

*Never let children see you being unkind to the cashier or waitress. 

*Know your neighbors and actually have concern for them.

*Never allow degrading comments to be made to other family members. 

*Care for the hurting people of the world. 

*Be a regular giver/servant at church. 

 GOODNESS

Jesus said “well done good and faithful servant” and “a good tree produces good fruit”.  This is the opposite of bad.  (That makes sense, huh?)  To instill goodness in your children, try this:

*Reward good acts towards others. 

*Give extra praise to your children for doing good things. (That’s not buying them a toy. This can be done verbally.) 

*Never let them see parents argue and fight.            

*Demand respect always. They don’t always have to agree, but they should always have to respect. 

* Always declare truthfulness.  Never let them see you telling lies; even “little white lies”.

*Teach prompt obedience.  Don’t let them “think about” obeying you. This is especially true for younger children. 

I will continue with more traits of spiritual fruit tomorrow. 

Yesterday I introduced this series of a parenting model called Olive Tree Parenting.  If you need the introduction read it HERE.  

Here are some suggestions to help you develop this “fruit” in your children.  To be honest I need to remind you that this is a “model”. That doesn’t mean I was perfect at doing this. Some I did better than others.  The fact is, however, that we seldom hit a target we aren’t aiming for, so make this your goal and you will find it easier to achieve than with no plan at all. 

LOVE

Love is the first fruit mentioned and the most important.  Jesus said “love” was the greatest command for us all.  Please understand you can’t really teach your child to love.  You must model it for them.  Here are some actions you can take, however, to instill this fruit in their heart. 

*Ask your children questions about their life.  Get to know your child and what they are thinking.  Show you care. 

* Do everything in love…….even discipline.  (They will know when you are not acting in love. You will too.) 

*Discipline.  Don’t neglect discipline in “the name of love”.  Discipline should actually be an indication that you love them enough to train them to do the right thing.   

*Watch how you treat other groups of people; including other races and ethnic groups. 

*Watch your child’s attitude; always recognize attitudes over actions (1 Sam. 16:24) and respond accordingly. 

*Love your children’s friends. 

*Be kind to your neighbors, friends and family.  They are watching. 

*Get involved in church and community not out of compulsion, but because you love other people. 

JOY   

The goal of producing joy is not to make your children happy.  The Bible makes a distinction between joy and happiness.  (Psalm 68:3)  Here are some actions you can take to instill the fruit of joy in your child’s heart:

*Don’t reward everything.  Life should not be a big celebration.  Life shouldn’t revolve around the next big event. 

*Have a sense of humor. Have fun parenting. Let them see you having fun.

*Be positive.  Children can’t take the pressure and stress of life that an adult has to handle.

*Allow your children to enjoy life at the age they are, without trying to make them someone they are not. 

*Life is difficult and there will be trials, but let your children see you use trials as something you learn from and have faith during; trusting that God will work all things for good. 

*Remind yourself to “be joyful always”.  This is another character trait we need to model for them.

PEACE     

Peace is a foundation for other great character traits you will want your children to have.  The Bible says we can have peace that is there regardless of the storms of life.  I know many adults who would like that kind of peace. You would certainly want that for your children.  It is important to instill peace virtues into your children.  Here are some actions you can take to model peace for your children:

*Pray for your children daily in their presence. This shows them the importance of prayer and relying on God for daily strength.      

*Teach them to pray. Jesus taught His disciples to pray.  Help your children understand they can talk with God anytime. They will catch on quickly.  Faith comes much easier when built as a child. 

*Let them see you read your Bible regularly. 

*Talk about your faith.  Peace is found in a relationship and they need to see that modeled for them. 

*Remain cool in stressful situations as best as you can.  It’s okay that they see you emotional, but they should quickly see you display a peace that surpasses understanding.

Stay tuned for more character “fruit” trait building activities tomorrow. 

Every time I write about parenting, people email me asking for more.  I understand.  Parenting is hard work.  Most people who follow my ministry know this is one area of my life that I have taken very serious.  One specific desire Cheryl and I had in raising our children was to encourage them to love Christ and display His character.  It’s great to teach our children how to play sports or to do well in school, and I think we should, but our greatest goal should be to help them be people who aspire to have good character; specifically the character of Christ. 
 
Recognizing that the Bible is a great guide, I once developed a model for parenting called Olive Tree Parenting.  This model is based upon a couple verses of Scripture. 
  
Psalm 128:3 says, “Your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.” 
Psalm 144:12 says, “Our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants.” 
     
Here are a few facts about olive trees:
   
*They were a symbol of peace and happiness to Hebrews.
*It takes some varieties 8-10 years to even bear fruit.
*It takes 20-50 years for an olive tree to be mature and really productive.
*No one knows for sure how long they grow, but estimate is at least 300-600 years, with some estimates up to 2000 years.
*When the tree trunk of an olive tree dies new sprouts come out keeping the tree alive.
*Olive trees are evergreens. 
     
Using the Biblical model of olive trees I saw some easy parallels in raising children.  I firmly believe we are more likely to get out of life what we actually aim for, so our goal became to raise children to be adults that bear righteous fruit for generations and we began to think strategically how to develop Biblical characteristics of fruit in our two boys. 
   
The Bible also gives us some clear indication of what righteous fruit looks like.  Galatians  5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
   
Over the next few days I will address each one of these aspects of spiritual fruit and provide some action steps to help realize this fruit in our children. 

I was reflecting the other day (which is something I seem to do a lot lately) on my life and the way God has used me to impact my two sons. Cheryl and I have been “intentional” parents. I know all parents are intentional in what they do, but what I mean is that we parented with an intentional purpose; to mold young men who passionately love and serve God with their lives.

As I think about the men they are becoming, by God’s grace, that goal is being accomplished. The thought occurred to me, however, that as much as I’ve tried to teach them directly and indirectly; by word or by modeling, much of life is learned by experience. With that thought, I realized there are life principles I know not because someone taught me, but because I lived them.

These are things I want my boys to know, but I don’t think I ever taught them:

• There are some things in life you will never understand and I can’t explain them to you.
• The lust for a woman can destroy your life. Be careful.
• You need other men in your life. I can only take you so far. Always surround yourself with men you aspire to be like and let them invest in you.
• You need to invest in other men; especially those younger than you.
• Be willing to risk everything to follow God’s call on your life now; while you are young. (Then never get too old for this principle.)
• Always be a dreamer. It keeps you young; plus your dreams for your life will never be bigger than God’s vision for your life.
• The greatest things in life money can’t buy.

I may think of more, but these are on my heart today.

What do you wish you could teach your children?