Everyone wants to be successful in life, but the truth is that many people never really achieve what they set out to accomplish. Many of us fall short of obtaining the dreams and goals we have for our life. After years of observing a lackluster success rate among some of the people to whom I minister, I began to examine why some people never seem to succeed.

What is it that keeps people from being achieving what they claim to want most in life?

Are there some steps that can be taken to enhance our chances of winning in the “game” of life?

Here are six steps to win in the game of life:

If I am asked to coach someone to be a winner, these are some of the steps I will start.

Step One: Get in the right race.

Many people never achieve the success/win the race of life they wanted, because they entered the wrong competition. They are aiming for the wrong targets. We should ask ourselves “where do I want to go in life and what do I eventually want to accomplish?” Until we know how we want our life to end we will never know the steps to take to succeed. Of course, I believe that starts with a decision to allow Christ to set your path. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

Step Two: Discipline for the race.

Winning happens over time; not in an instant. The greatest athletes work hours outside the game in order to perhaps win even a single game. Victory doesn’t often happen without hard, painful work to get there. It takes diligence and consistency to be a winner. Winners learn their individual skills and continue to develop them.

Step Three: Develop character first.

People who truly win in life spend a great amount of time on the development of themselves and others around them. Most of the successful business people and church leaders I know set aside time each week for personal development. They are frequently in the gym, reading a good book, and attending a church on Sunday. They recognize that they must be relationally and emotionally healthy if they want to have success in life.

Step Four: Accept Failure

Most winners are built through brokenness. The greatest leaders have failed many times. Before inventing the light bulb, Thomas Edison failed a thousand times. Babe Ruth had 714 home runs and 1,330 strikeouts. Abraham Lincoln was said to have failed so many times, in business, in his love life, in politics but finally became one of the greatest President of the United States. Allow failure to be your friend not your enemy.

Step Five: Ignore unnecessary distractions.

Winners don’t give up when obstacles get in the way of achieving their goals. They find a way to work around them. Life is full of disappointments and set backs, but the winner learns to keep pushing forward. The winner also doesn’t waste a lot of time and energy on the wrong things.

Step Six: Stay in the race.

If a person wants to win he or she has to stay in the race. One cannot be a quitter and still win. Many times the winner is the one with the most heart. Often we see the underdog team come from behind to win simply because they have more passion. If you want to be a winner…if you want to achieve success…stay in the game!

Choose today to be a winner! Don’t let your “hope to do’s” become your “wish you had’s”.

What would you add to my list?

I say this often…

We can only see what we can see…

I don’t know why…

I just find times that it seems to fit…

Sometimes the simplest statements have the largest meaning…

The fact is…

We can only see what we can see…

The rest requires faith…

In my experience, sometimes God lets you see miles down the road…

He told me once, for example, to plant a church…

17 months later we launched…

(That was after the 10 years I ignored what He was saying…but that’s another story…)

Sometimes God lets you see only a few steps…

It was that way when God called me into ministry…

I had no idea where I was headed next…

I could only see what I could see…

The rest required faith…

When you can’t see beyond the steps…and even when you can…

Remember “we walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7)

Because…

We can only see what we can see…

What about you?

Are you seeing the miles…or are you seeing the steps?

This is a guest post from Chris Weber. Chris is on staff at Monvee. Monvee is a ministry passionate about discipleship. After a recent blog post, Monvee agreed to let me give away 10 copies of their spiritual development software. This is an amazing opportunity!

Here is a guest post from Chris Weber of Monvee:

Recently, Ron wrote a post called “What is your one sin?” As I read that post from Ron, it was a sharp reminder of a conversation I had a couple years ago with two of my closest friends. I had just finished taking my MONVEE assessment and discovered though that tool the most likely spiritual inhibitor or “one sin” for me was Deception/Dishonesty.

I must say, I was a little frustrated when I first read that.

I did not see myself as a dishonest person at all.

Conversation with close friends, however, comforted me that “lying” wasn’t my issue. It was a different form of deception/dishonesty: IMAGE MANAGEMENT. For years, I had been managing my image and even my character depending on the crowd that I happened to be with at the time. I am a natural leader and had opportunity to lead, but my reputation grew tarnished as more people saw me as simply “playing the game.”

Looking back, I can clearly see the impact that conversation with some close friends has had on my life as I have strived to become a more consistent and authentic person.

Today I am on staff at MONVEE. My job is assisting people to come to the same sort of discovery about their “one sin.” MONVEE is an online tool designed to help people identify how they are wired by God, what’s in the way of maturing as a believer and build a plan to take next steps in their spiritual growth.

Scripture clearly tells us that this is a key step in the growth process-

Ephesians 4:21-24
Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

Galatians 5:16-17
So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.

Do YOU know what your primary spiritual inhibitor or “one sin” is?

We want to help you find out.

We are giving away the Monvee tool to 10 individuals who comment on this post. Winners will be randomly selected Monday.

(Also, if you are a senior leader at your church, let us know and we will send you 5 MONVEE Paks for you and your team to experience for FREE. Simply email me at chris.weber@monvee.com )

Chris Weber
Monvee
Twitter: thechrisweber

Thanks Chris! Comment now to be eligible to win a Monvee pack. Take responsibility for accelerating your spiritual growth now!

Please don’t comment just to win, but if you are serious about maturing as a believer this tool will help! Comment now for a chance to win!

If you choose to retweet or share this post in social media…Thank you! (not required to win…I just want to help encourage some spiritual growth)

Still want to know more…watch this quick video about Monvee:

Here’s some advice I’ve learned watching people in organizations over the years…

Some people stay too long…

I suggest you leave before you have to…

When you are tired of the vision…

Can’t support the leadership…

Have no heart left to give the organization…

Consistently struggle to stay motivated…

And…

You feel God is freeing you to move elsewhere…

Leave before you have to…

Don’t be forced out because you’re too stubborn, scared, or have a false sense of loyalty. You’ll do more harm to your reputation, your attitude and the organization during the miserable days.

Have you seen people (have you) stay too long in a position and cause harm to themselves or the organization?

The world and all its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. 1 John 2:17 NIV

Some of my best growth times with the Lord have been during teaching times with my children. I remember when my son asked an important question, “Daddy, what is the ‘will of God’?”

Now, he wasn’t asking, “What does God want me to do?” It was more general than that. He simply wanted to know what the phrase “will of God” meant. He had heard others say the term many times, but he never understood it. My hope is that you and I can also grow through this experience.

I explained to him in a way that has always helped me understand the will of God in my life. Understand this is a paradigm for understanding God’s will, not a script according to Scripture. I believe there are Bible verses that can further define each one of these (I’ve put a couple in parenthesis after each one for example), but my intent here is simply to help people process God’s will for their life.

First there is God’s individual will.

That is for the individual decisions you and I make each day. You know that God cares intimately for you, even down to the number of hairs on your head. God does allow, however, for you to make some decisions for yourself in life. You may choose what to eat for breakfast or you may choose a red car instead of a blue. It isn’t that God doesn’t care which you get, but He most likely will allow you to make that decision. (Proverbs 16:9, Jeremiah 29:4-6, Genesis 13:11)

Second, there is God’s moral will.

God’s desire for you is that you develop your character into the image of Christ. He will present you with every opportunity for you to do just that, but you will play a part in how far you grow spiritually. You may choose to love your neighbor as yourself or you may choose to be a very selfish person. God, however, is very concerned about your character, and for His moral will for your life. In fact, God cares more that His moral will for your life be done than His individual will, because God is in the character-changing business. (Philippians 2:5, Galatians 5:22-23, Romans 12:1-2)

Third, there is God’s sovereign will.

God has a will that is set in stone! It won’t change. It can’t change. It always stays the same! For example, God cannot help but love you because that is His sovereign will. God cannot break His promises, because that is His sovereign will. Some things God has set into motion, and they will never be different. (Job 42:2, Deuteronomy 4:39, Isaiah 45:18)

I don’t know what God’s individual will is for your life. (I hope today it includes your favorite cereal and a shiny red convertible…if that’s your color.) But I can tell you this. His moral will is that you be like His Son Jesus.
That begins with your sincere faith in Jesus as your Savior! And better yet, His sovereign will says that because of your faith in Him, He has reserved you a place in Heaven!

Do you struggle to know God’s will for your life sometimes?

Just because something is simple doesn’t mean it is easy

Simple directions to a gas grille…never easy…

Simplifying things for people…may make them easier to understand…

But won’t make them easy…

You can simplify the terms or the make the process seem easy to follow…

But nothing of any great quality is ever really easy…

You can have a simple diet plan, but following it won’t be easy…

You can simplify for someone how they should train to run a marathon, but it won’t be easy…

I can even give you some simple principles to improve your marriage, your parenting or your leadership, (I try to do that every day) but they won’t be easy…

Becoming a mature follower of Christ…a disciple…I can tell you how to do that in fairly simple terms…I try to do that when I preach and teach…

Just remember…

Simple doesn’t mean easy…

Help this post: Name one thing that sounds simple, but isn’t easy…

People ask all the time…How do you do everything you do?

Well, honestly, I don’t feel I’m doing everything I should be doing, but, one secret is that I maintain a healthy exercise program.

• It fuels my creative thoughts…
• It keeps me feeling at my best…
• It builds my confidence…
• It helps me sleep better at night…

There are other things I do…I believe in attempting to maintain total health…physical, spiritual, mental, relational…but this one is a key for me to being healthy in other areas of my life.

Be honest, do you need to exercise more regularly?

What secrets do you have to accomplishing much?

Last week I introduced the mentoring Survey. You are free to take the survey if you haven’t yet. You’ll find it HERE. I’ll continue to update any significant changes or swing in numbers, which may occur.

This week I’ve talked about mentoring, here are those posts in the order they appeared.

In this series, I’ve written about:

The 5 Types of Mentors

5 Questions to Help You Know What to do with a Mentor

Why I (You) Need a Mentor?

How Do I Find a Mentor?

This is not the end of this discussion, but hopefully you’ll see a few trend in the results of this survey. Over 200 people have taken the survey at this point.

This is encouraging, as almost 75% of people say they have had a mentor.

Again, 75% say they have been a mentor. I suspect this number is higher than this, when considering some of the types of mentors I discussed earlier in this series. Interestingly, this percent started much lower and increased steadily as the series continued and more people took the survey.

It could be the nature of my readership, but I found it interesting that the number of people who say they are mentoring is so much larger than the number being mentored.

People were fairly split on this answer of whether a mentor should be the same sex. There’s more to this issue I may address later. I did share my thoughts with someone asking my opinion on my Facebook page.

Most people seem to know what they the term mentoring means…at least as they define it I suppose.

85% say they could currently use a mentor in their life…Wow! I realize some of those may have a mentor and I purposefully didn’t give that qualifier, because in this question I was trying to capture the recognition of need. 11% say maybe…I am most curious about the 3% who said no, that they didn’t currently need a mentor. Hopefully that’s because they already have one.

I was a little surprised here…and excited…and perhaps disappointed all at the same time. The greatest need seems to be for a spiritual mentor. That’s great news that people recognize it, but it makes me wonder if the church is meeting this need. I wish the need for a relational mentor had been higher…just saying…Most often you don’t know you need one there until you need one.

No commentary here, but it does appear a majority of people recognize the age of the mentor could matter, depending on the circumstance.

The largest number of people believe a weekly meeting with a mentor is needed, others see an as needed or monthly meeting as an option. Very few took the quarterly approach, though I believe in a very structured setting, a quarterly mentor could work well for overall life planning and wisdom sharing. I may post more about this later.

What are your thoughts or observations from this survey? It would have been nice to have some commentary from those taking the survey, but I wanted a large enough response and knew open ended questions get fewer responses that are harder to categorize and measure.

Should I consider doing a shorter survey now with open-ended questions? Give me your thoughts.

BTW, I honestly didn’t get a lot of new resources in question 10 on the survey, but may share some resources in a future post. If you know of good ones, please feel free to share.

What’s next? Where should I focus my attention if I want to continue to stir this discussion?

This week we’ve talked about mentoring. Please take a few minutes and complete my mentoring survey if you haven’t already. You’ll find it HERE. I’ll be sharing results of that survey soon.

In this series, I’ve written about:

The 5 Types of Mentors

5 Questions to Help You Know What to do with a Mentor

Why I (You) Need a Mentor

Now the dilemma becomes, “Where do I find this mentor?”

I’ll agree. Finding a mentor can be tough. So if you’re ready to hear the complicated process…proceed with caution.

Here’s how you find a mentor:

Step One: Look for one

Step Two: Ask them

Can you remember that? Perhaps you need to write it down…just in case!

Okay, I realize that’s not a fair statement to someone who really desires a mentor and can’t seem to find one, but I still think it’s true.  The best intentional or seasonal mentors (refer to previous post for my definition of these two terms) are recruited.

Recognizing that many are still left wondering where to find a mentor, here are a few random thoughts about my “Look for…and…ask” recommendation that may help widen your search for potential mentors:

• You will have to be intentional to find a mentor. You must desire one enough to do what’s necessary to find one.
• Don’t be disheartened when you ask someone to mentor you if they initially say no. You may need to ask several people until you find one willing to commit the time to you.
• Be sensitive to God’s activity in your life. If you are praying for a mentor, and your motives are pure in your request, my suspicion is that God will honor that prayer. You may have mentors around you that you have yet to see.
• In your pursuit of a mentor, don’t look for people exactly like you. There will be a little stretching involved here, but look for someone with the character, qualities and expertise you desire to have or improve upon, but not necessarily wired exactly like you. That may even mean they are not in ministry.  My current mentor is not; he’s in business. He has the heart of a minister though and, with his age and experience, more church experience than I have, but certainly more life and leadership experience.
• One problem I see young pastors make is that they want a Rick Warren or Andy Stanley level leader to mentor them, but I’m confident both those guys would tell you not to follow them, but to follow Christ. I’m not advising you to lower your standards in a mentor, but I am encouraging you to better define your objectives. Again, look for character, not position in a mentor. That usually opens the playing field in finding one.
• The best person to mentor you may be the one who didn’t make it where you want to go…but still wishes he had. My dad was seldom there for me when I was growing up. He made many mistakes, but before he died he said some of the most profound things. I’ve got lots of good business advice to give a small business owner, but most of it is not from my success in business, but from my failure.
• Give the person you ask to mentor you ample time to process your request. It’s a big one. You’ll want to make sure they are committed to the process and not just trying to be nice.
• Be prepared to inconvenience yourself to accommodate the schedule of the one willing to mentor you.

Let me make this point clear: One reason you may not have a mentor is because you haven’t asked someone to mentor you. Ask! (BTW, this is not an invitation for you to ask me…not that you were thinking that! )

Those are a few suggestions.

If you have had or been mentors, help this post and my readers out by sharing where you found your mentor.

Do you have a mentor? Where did you find him or her? 

“Surely I am too stupid to be a man. I have not the understanding of a man.” Proverbs 30:2

I’ve got pastoral intern this summer named Dan Dominguez. Dan and I have been able to hang out some the last month or so and I have enjoyed our time together. He attends Moody Bible Institute, where he is studying to be a pastor and is a good friend of my son Nate. Nate is studying in Europe this summer, so it’s been a blessing having Dan near.

Dan and I were discussing the need for people in our life to help us when we can’t clearly find our way. I don’t know your situation, but Dan and I, from two different generations, could agree that Proverbs 30:2 could be one of our life verses.

By the way, the opening verse is the answer to the title of this post. I’m not trying to be funny or offend you. I’m admitting I need this too, but I need a mentor because the best options in my life are not always certain. A mentor has often helped me avoid stupid decisions I might have made without one.

Do you recognize your need for a mentor?

Be honest, what is one area of your life where you have the greatest need for one?