I like history and think we can and should learn from it…
I want my best energy focused on where I’m going, not where I’ve been…
On things I can change, not on things I can’t…
Towards issues of faith, more than issues that have been forgiven…
On the tree I’m planting more than the one that fell…
Building new dreams more than dwelling on regrets…
What about you?
Are you spending more time dwelling on the past or working towards a brighter future?
I’m 48 years old. I’m just old enough to have wisdom about a few things I should and shouldn’t do, but not yet old enough to always follow my own wisdom. Recently I observed a characteristic in me that I hope is not permanent.
We recently moved to a downtown condo. I wrote about why we did that HERE. The condo sits on a hill, overlooking the river district of our community. We love the view, but it presents a problem on windy days. We have to weatherize our front porch every time we suspect a storm, turning over the furniture and making sure everything is secure.
On one recent night, Cheryl heard the wind picking up and asked if we should prepare the porch. That really meant I should get up and prepare the porch, but I love the gentle way she “suggests” such things. Getting up at 1:30 AM to step onto my front porch in my boxers has never been my idea of fun, but I do like a happy wife, so I headed out to do my job. When I got back into bed she thanked me to which I replied:
“Better safe than sorry.”
Instantly the thought occurred to me. I would have never used that phrase a few years ago. “Better safe than sorry” has never appealed to me before. Sounds like something my mother would have said to me. I like risk-taking. I embrace change. I run to things others say can’t be done or aren’t willing to try. I’ve made a commitment to walk by faith.
I’m scared of “better safe than sorry”. What happened to me? Am I that old?
Here’s my plan to counter my recent tendency to lean to the comfortable side of life:
I own a couple Groupons for skydiving. My oldest son and I have wanted to do this for several years. It’s a risk worth taking I think, especially in light of my recent playing it safe tendency.
I think very soon I’ll go jump out of a “perfectly good plane”.
I must. I can’t stand the thought of resting on the safe side.
What’s the purpose of this post? Well, if God is calling you to something bigger than your ability to understand…
Don’t play it safe! Play it by faith!
Be honest: Are you more likely to prefer a risk or the safe side?
I’ve met with numerous young leaders recently who want the opportunity to “make it on their own”. I’ve seen it in my own two sons. They want to get their first job without the help of others. They want to stand on their own merits. They want to attain a level of accomplishment without the help of their parents, their parent’s friends, or any connection they didn’t make personally.
I understand. I felt the same way when I was a young leader.
And, I love the ambition. I simply don’t agree with the practice. That’s based on experience it’s taken me years to understand.
Don’t try to make it on your own.
For one thing, we weren’t meant to live life alone. We are designed for fellowship, with our Creator and with other people. But, also, it simply doesn’t work.
There is no such thing as a self-made person.
Everyone gains success with the help of others. Failure to realize that leads to false pride.
More than ever before, knowing the right connections can help you accomplish your goals. I’ve told my two boys they will most likely never have a job in their lifetime where they didn’t know someone who helped them obtain it. If that person is your parents, or people your parents know, so be it.
I’m not suggesting you don’t try and I’m not releasing you of responsibility. You are ultimately, under God’s authority of course, responsible for charting your own course. You can’t expect anyone to give you something you aren’t willing to earn.
I am suggesting that you shouldn’t be timid or feel bad about using the connections and networking relationships you’ve been allowed to make or those connections of people who know you and care for you. Those relationships may be as important as any skill you bring to the table.
Does it bother you to rely on help your parent’s offer you?
This week every year, I review my personal progress for the year. Would you like to play along?
Here are some examples of questions I ask myself:
- What did I do that worked well?
- What did I attempt that didn’t work?
- Did I meet my goals?
- What could I do better with a little tweaking?
- What should I stop doing so I can do other things?
- Where is my time most being wasted?
- What discipline do I most need to implement into my day?
- What was my most memorable moment?
- What drains my energy just to think about doing again?
- What changes do I need to make?
Are you playing?
Here’s to a great 2012!
The Lord said to Abram:
Go out from your land,
and your father’s house
to the land that I will show you.
I will make you into a great nation,
I will bless you,
I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
I will curse those who treat you with contempt,
and all the peoples on earth will be blessed through you.
Genesis 12:1-3 (Emphasis mine)
The secret, for lack of a better word, for Abraham’s success, was moving from his will to God’s will. When the “you” comes after the “I” rather than before, we’ll guarantee our success.
If you and I want the new year to be a success, let’s:
- Drop our agenda…join His agenda
- Get off our path…get on His path
- Release our ambitions…embrace His ambitions
- Ignore my will…live His will
Are you ready for a great new year?
When there are competing answers…
When you can’t decide between good choices…
When differences of opinion exist…
Go for the greater good test….
Of the possible scenarios, which has the potential for creating the greater good?
Often when I step back and get a bigger picture…when I force myself to think longer term…the answer becomes clearer.
Have you ever used the greater good test?
You’ve failed. It was huge…at least to the people impacted by the mistake. Perhaps you did it on purpose. Maybe it was an accident. You may have stumbled into gradually over time. Bottom line: It was wrong. You did it. No denying it now.
Here are 5 steps to recover from a failure:
Admit – Be honest…with yourself and others who need to know. Quit hiding from the truth. Stop making excuses. Own up to what you did and take responsibility for your actions. It’s a sign of maturity and few make it past this point. You my have consequences to deal with. don’t run from them.
Repent – Ask God for forgiveness. If you are a believer, He’s already paid your penalty on the cross, but you need to acknowledge your sin to keep the relationship pure. Ask any injured parties for forgiveness. You’re not responsible for their granting of grace, only for your attempt to live at peace with them.
Plan – Create a new path. Consider the right way to do things next time…so you won’t make the same mistake again. Do you need new friends? A new environment? Should you step away from a position for a time? How can you ensure those around you, whose trust
Commit – Commit to your plan. Commit to new accountability. Commit to the people you love. Commit to yourself. Commit to walking a new path and writing a new story.
Grow – Learn from every failure. You do not have to be defined by this season of your life. Move forward, looking back not to feel bad about yourself, but only enough to remind you to never go there again.
You can do it!
Have you ever recovered from a failure? What would you add to my list?
Have you ever had a dream, but you couldn’t decide if it’s something you should pursue or just a passing fantasy? I love dreaming, so I once wrote A 5 Step Process to Take a Dream to Reality and a similar post 7 Steps to Achieve Your Dreams, but how do you ensure you’ve got the right dream?
Here are 5 steps to processing a dream:
Pray specifically – Ask God to confirm if this is His dream or your dream. He loves to confirm if it’s His. If it’s not, thank Him for a creative mind, make sure it’s not against His written word, and that you sense no inner conviction that it’s against God’s will for your life. Ask God’s Spirit to steer you away from any dream beyond His plan for your life.
Write it down – You’d be amazed how different something can look like once it’s on paper. Write out your dream. Create a plan to accomplish your dream. Be as realistic and as detailed as you care to be, but look at your dream on paper.
Share it with a few people – God will use others to help discern and confirm. Make sure you trust the people and don’t let them kill the dream, but let them be an outside perspective to help check your heart and shape the dream.
Compare your experience – Have you been in preparation for this dream? I’ve noticed that many of the dreams I have come out of past experiences I’ve gained. It doesn’t mean you can’t do pursue a dream for which you have no experience, but it’s easier to process when it lines with how God’s path has directed me.
Take the advice test – In my observation, the more active dreamers tend to also be risk-takers. Ask yourself, if a good friend came to you with a similar dream, with similar circumstances in their life, would you advice them to take the risk? You may need to follow your own advice.
Have you got a current dream? I’d love to hear it.
If you’ve survived this process, let me voice saying: