7 Emotions of Change

Voodoo Macumba Smileys Emotions Icons

Every change costs someone something.

One of those costs, which is often underestimated by those leading change, is the emotional response to change. All change has an emotional response.

Realizing and recognizing the emotions of change can help you better lead through the change. Acknowledging someone’s emotions goes a long way towards helping them accept it. Change is hard either way, but if you ignore the emotions you’ll find yourself always battling to make change successful.

Here are 7 common emotions to change:

Fear. Change can be very scary because it takes you into something unknown.

Grief. There’s a sense of loss associated with change. Something was left behind. People may have loved the way things were. Even if they know the change was needed people may grieve what they left behind.

Enthusiasm. This is a good emotion. Most of the time. And, for some people. There are times, however, that one groups enthusiasm further frustrates another person’s pain.

Anger. People can get mad about change. They can even “lose their religion”. Change can cause people to react in very ungodly ways. They may say or do things that are mostly out of character for them. (Although, sometimes change allows us to see someone’s true character.)

Confusion. Change takes people somewhere new and, therefore, can often leave people feeling very confused until they figure out and adjust to what the new reality will be after the change. There can even be an appearance of acceptance simply because a person doesn’t yet understand how they will be affected.

Loneliness. Change takes something away from people. It may have been what made them comfortable. They may feel an emptiness as a result of the loss.

Sadness. There can be a profound sadness to change. For example, I think of my wife when we have changed church assignments. She can know we are following God’s will but she is sad at the separation of relationships she values.

Numbness. Sometimes change can leave people with their heads spinning — especially when change is fast. People don’t even know what to feel — which means they don’t know how to respond. (You won’t know their true emotion to change until after the period of numbness.)

Next time you’re in the midst of change — which if you’re in leadership should be often — watch for — and find ways to acknowledge — the emotions of change. Don’t limit these emotions to leadership. They are true in all relationships — in marriage — parenting — life. Where change is occurring, emotions are sure to be found.

In a future post, I’ll share some thoughts on how to address each of these emotions.

What other emotions of change have you observed?

21 Ways to Keep a Church from Growing

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I was once asked to help a church process how to get younger people to attend. After we discussed some change recommendations a man pulled me aside and said, “Son, we don’t need no fancy ideas around here. We like being a small church.

I soon learned he represented the feelings of the church as a whole. They thought they wanted to reach younger people, but the truth was — when faced with change — they were really satisfied with the church as it had been for many years.

There’s nothing wrong with being a small church. Let me say that again — There is nothing wrong with being a small church. In fact, in some communities, what is considered small is actually large by comparison to churches in larger cities. I’m not opposed to small churches, but I do have a problem with some small church mentalities.

I think there is a difference.

As long as there are lost people nearby, I believe the church has much work to do. And, any organization, Christian or secular, that refuses to accept some changes will stop growing and eventually die.

The fact is that growing a church is hard work. It’s relatively easy to keep things small or stop growth.

In fact, I can come up with lots of ways I’ve seen that keep a church from growing.

Here are a 21 ways:

  • Make the entry to serving in the church lengthy or complicated
  • Develop followers not leaders
  • Squelch any dream except the pastor’s own
  • Refuse new people a voice at the table
  • Make sure everyone knows who is in charge — and it’s not Jesus
  • Cast your vision — but only once
  • Only do “church” inside the building
  • Demand that it be done the way it’s always been done
  • Give up when change is resisted
  • Make excuses when things go wrong
  • Quit dreaming
  • Resist any organized system, strategy or plans to grow the church
  • Stop praying
  • Insist you have all the answers before you “walk by faith”
  • Never challenge people
  • Treat new people as outsiders
  • Always refer to the past as the good times
  • Put more energy into structure than serving
  • Allow gossip to fester
  • The ministerial staff does everything
  • Be stingy investing in the next generation

Whenever I do a post like this I get a common — and expected — question. Well, if these are ways not to grow a church, then what are some ways to grow a church? And, that is one of the main topics I write about in other posts. But, for simplicity sake, try doing the opposite of some of these I’ve listed and see how they help the church to grow.

What am I missing? What else will keep a church from growing?

How Some of the Best Discoveries Are Made – In Life and Leadership

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Don’t be afraid to take a wrong turn — or go where the path isn’t clear — or act when you don’t have all the details figured out yet.

Some of the best discoveries are made that way.

People are always asking Cheryl and me how we discovered a great new place to visit. Or to eat.

Don’t you love Instagram and Facebook for those postings?

Often it was on a discovery trip.

One time we were in Maryland. I said to Cheryl, “Let’s just take this road and see where it goes.”

It actually went to a dead end. At the ocean. Stop. No way out except where we came from. We may have even been in another state at that point. I never knew for sure.

There was one restaurant at the end of the road. It looked like a dump. Our cell service was so weak we couldn’t Google the place, so we just went for it. It turned out to be one of those memorable meals — in a good way.

We didn’t know where we were going or what we would find when we got there, but details don’t matter as much when you’re on a discovery mission.

We’ve actually used the discovery method to find dozens of great places. On most every vacation or trip we set aside some time just to discover something new. It gives us adrenaline as a couple, keeps things interesting (we’ve discovered some not so great places too) and — whatever we find — it gives us lots of great memories together.

I use the discovery method in leadership too. We try lots of new things. Some work. Some don’t. But, the ones that do prove to be some of our greatest discoveries. We found them by exploring.

Details are great. I know some people feel they need them. (Cheryl is that way.)

But don’t let not knowing them keep you from the greatest discoveries.

Explore. It’s often how the best discoveries are made.

And, it keeps life interesting.

In life and leadership.

7 Things That Weaken Leadership

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There are times I’m a better leader than other times. Sometimes that my fault. Other times the cause is unavoidable. If we can begin to identify what interrupts strong leadership, we can become better leaders. I have personally experienced some things in my own life that weaken my leadership. I am consistently finding ways to guard against them.

Here are 7 things that weaken leadership:

Distractions – As leaders, we do our best work when we are pointing people toward worthy visions. Some would say that’s precisely what leadership does. It’s easy to get distracted with things that, while they may be good, they don’t help move the organization towards the vision. In fact, they delay progress towards the vision.  I’ve also learned that I need to be leading in my strengths and if I ever get weak in my courage to say no to some things, my yes will be far less valuable.

Lack of discipline – It matters not that there is a great vision if we don’t discipline ourselves to reach it. That includes having good plans  good goals. Good objectives. Good systems and strategies.

Ceased learning – Leading others to grow requires leaders who are growing. When I stop the creativity I feed my mind, I cease to have anything new to offer the team I’m trying to lead. Life becomes rather stale — quickly.

Negative influences – It’s hard to be the only positive in a room full of negatives. Sometimes as a leader I’ve felt like more cheerleader than coach. It’s one reason I surround myself with people who have a good outlook on life. I don’t want all “yes” people, but if everything is always an immediate “no” — or “I don’t like it but I have nothing better to offer” — that’s draining and it is only going to bring down me and the strength of the rest of the team.

Fear – Risk is involved in every leadership decision. Notice I said every. And I meant every. I didn’t say risk was involved in every decision a leader makes but every leadership decision. Leadership is taking people to an unknown. That involves risk. Every time. And every risk involves a certain level of fear. That’s natural. Fear keeps leaders from moving forward when they allow the fear to dominate the decision more than the opportunity of the risk.

Pride – Pride goes before the fall. Pride destroys. Absolute pride destroys absolutely. Okay I embellished that one, but you get the point. Prideful leaders are always weakened by that pride. No one truly follows a prideful leader. They may obey. They may even be infatuated for a season. But, they don’t follow.

Contentment – Leadership involves a sense of urgency. When we lose that we lose the inner drive to lead well. We become weakened by our own loss of personal momentum.

Success – All of us love to succeed. I think attempting to is a pretty good goal. We might even plan for it. :) Sadly, though, sometimes a little success can usher in complacency. We can begin to think we’ve figured out a system to success. Before long, we don’t think we have to be intentional anymore — maybe not even have to try as hard as we used to try. We can become weak quickly by our own delusions of grandeur.

Those are a few things that have weakened my leadership.

What would you add to my list?

How to be a better blogger. Write poorly — but do it often.

Blog word.

Do you want to be a better blogger?

I have some advice.

Just a warning, you won’t hear this advice everywhere. In fact, it runs contrary to most of the better blogging advice out there — perhaps even some I’ve probably offered people in the past.

But, I believe it’s true. Especially for the beginning blogger.

Do you want to be a better blogger?

Write poorly — but do it often.

Yes, that’s what I said.

I think one key to being a better blogger is to write more bad posts.

Okay, Ron, you’ve lost me.

Let me explain with an illustration.

People ask me all the time how I became a runner. I run an average of 5-6 miles a day. I ran a marathon a few years ago. I’ve run dozens of half marathons. I’m planning to run another full marathon this fall.

My discipline is not to run. I’d do it everyday.

But, I once hated running. Despised it. I had been a runner earlier in life, but thought I outgrew it as I got older. I even announced from behind a pulpit one day that I’d never run again — unless I was being chased by an angry deacon. :)

Then one day I decided to give it another try. I don’t know why. I just did.

Someone gave me advice — I’m not sure who now — but it was brilliant. They suggested I set a time limit for running and always finish that goal. It could be 20 or 30 minutes. If I couldn’t run that long at the time, the advice was to finish the time, running when I could and walking the rest.

I’d run for 3 minutes and walk for a while. Then I’d run 5 minutes — then walk some more. I kept this up but always tried to complete my allotted time. Eventually, over the weeks, I found myself filling the entire time running. And soon learning to love every minute.

That’s my running story. How I became a runner.

And now you’re wondering…

How does my running story fit into encouragement about blogging?

Well,

Write poorly — but do it often.

Just write blog posts.

Please don’t misunderstand. “Poorly” is probably a poor word choice. It exaggerates my point, but I’m not saying write junk. Give it your best effort. If you’re not any good at writing period, maybe blogging isn’t you’re thing. But if you have a few minimal skills, this might work to make you better over time. You just need to write — the best you can — more often.

Set a goal of how many you want to write per week and do it. Write to fill your goal. If your goal is 3 posts a week — write three posts a week. If it’s 7 — write 7. (That’s probably too many, but it’s your goal.)

Finish your goal. Every week.

You won’t always write the best posts. (You’ll walk more than you run sometimes.) You’ll need to improve. A few years from now you’ll look back at some of your older posts and see how much better they could have been. But, you’ll get better the more you write. Practice makes perfect (or near perfect) as they say.

The problem for many runners is they expect to run the 6 milers as soon as they got off the couch. It takes time. Discipline. Consistent effort. Sometimes walking more than you run. Getting better as you go.

It’s the same with blogging.

7 Times When It is Not A Good Time To Change

No keyboard key finger

I’ve never been a proponent of the saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Sometimes you need a change and nothing is “broke”. It just isn’t as good as it could be, it’s keeping other things from being better, or it’s soon going to be broke unless you change.

But, there are times not to change — certainly when you are not ready to change.

Here are 7 times not to change:

When there isn’t a compelling purpose - There should always be a why. It might be as simple as if you don’t change you’re going to be bored out of your mind — but have a reason before you change.

When there are no good leaders behind it – You need people who buy into the change. If a change has value you can usually find supporters. They may be few. They may do nothing more than speak up for the change, but if no one can get excited about the change, you probably need to raise up some supporters before moving forward. (There are rare exceptions to this one, but again, they are rare.)

When you haven’t defined a win – Changing before you know what success looks like will keep you running in a lot of ineffective directions without much progress.

When the loss is more expensive than the win – Sometimes the cost just isn’t worth it. You can’t justify the people and resource expense for the potential return.

When the leader isn’t motivated – There are times to wait if senior leadership can’t get excited or at least support the change if push back develops. Eventually, without their support, you’ll be less likely to experience sustaining, successful change.

When too many other things are changing – Any organization or group of people can only handle so much change at a time. This requires great discernment on the part of leaders to know when there is too much change occurring and it is best to wait for something new.

When an organization is in crisis mode – When a ship is sinking, fix the leak or bail some water, before you choose your next destination. When things are in crisis, is not the time to make a ton of changes. There may be needed changes to get things moving again, but catch your breath first, make sure a core of people is solid behind the vision, and take careful steps to plan intentional, helpful and needed change.

This isn’t intended as a checklist. I would never want to stop someone from making needed changes. I love change. But, I do want to encourage better change. I hope this helps.

7 Ways to Stretch Yourself as a Leader

Close-up of a jogger stretching his legs

Those who succeed in the future workplace must be innovative. Adaptable. Able to change quickly.

You knew that, right?

It’s not an option these days.

It’s mandatory just to keep up with the pace of change. We can wish for days gone by, but to keep up, leaders will have to stretch themselves and work smarter.

In fact, when hiring decisions are made these days, most leaders I know (including me) look for these abilities as much, if not more, than experience or education. We need generalists, who can fill a plethora of responsibilities. If you can’t keep up with the speed of change, and adapt accordingly you’ll have a harder time advancing in your career in the future.

How can a leader keep up? What can you do?’

I am constantly learning how personally, but I have always been conscious of my own need to continue growing as a leader, so I’m sharing from my experience and some of what works for me.

Here are 7 ways to stretch yourself:

Read something different from what you normally read. If you love to read history, occasionally read a book of fiction. Pick up a tech magazine, even if you’re far from being a techie. Read the comics, or the opinion page, or a biography — whatever something is different from what you usually read.

Hang out with people not like you. One of my favorite ways to stretch myself has been to surround myself with many different personalities and interests among my friendships. I am introverted. I have some very extroverted friends. I’m not usually loud in a crowd — and a few of my close friends are always the life of the party. I’m conservative. I have some very liberal friends. Honestly, it’s sometimes more comfortable to only hang out with people who think like me, but I realize I’m missing opportunities to grow when I do.

Move forward on something with uncertainty. This will be a challenge for some of you reading this. For others it’s easy. It comes fairly easy for me. But, the fact is rarely will we have all the answers when making decisions. That eliminates faith when we do, by the way. Take a new risk on something. It’s the surest way to stretch yourself.

Attempt something you’ve never done. That goes with taking a risk, but not only something that you consider “risky” — try to do something beyond what you think you can do. Take a college class, even though you’ve been out of school for years. Learn a language or to play an instrument. Take up photography or baking. Try to do a home repair — with just the help of the guy at the hardware store. If you’ve never done it — all the better. The more different from you it seems — the greater the stretch.

Spend more time on opportunities than on problems. This is huge, because problems tend to weigh us down and discourage us. Opportunities challenge and encourage us. Yes, fixing problems is exhilarating for some of us (like me), but only getting back to ground zero pales compared to finding new potential for growth. We can’t avoid handling problems, but we can discipline ourselves to focus more energy towards advancement rather than repair. Try it. In my experience, when I do this, some of the problems I thought needed so much of my attention no longer do.

Schedule and discipline time to dream. Dreaming can quickly become a lost art in a sea of mediocrity and repetition. We get so caught up in systems, routines and processes that we fail to imagine what is yet to be realized. I try to schedule a few hours a week of blank calendar time and shut everything down to think and pray. Sometimes I take a walk. Sometimes I read. Always I try to think of something new.

Stay physically active. Numerous studies I’ve read indicate what my experience already knows. I stretch my mind when I stretch my body. And, the more I stretch my body, the more I stretch my mind.

I realize an obvious question some of my ministry friends are wondering. How does this apply to the church?

Well, I personally believe the church should be well led, well-managed, efficient and productive. We have the greatest mission challenge ever extended. We are in a life-changing profession. Why would we ever sacrifice quality or settle for less than best in carrying out our work? So, of course this impacts ministry. We must continue to stretch ourselves to become better servant leaders.

What ideas do you have to stretch yourself as a leader?

7 Reasons Introversion Works Well for Me as a Senior Leader

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I read an article recently that suggested the majority of senior leaders think extroversion is necessary to be an effective senior leader. Obviously — and hopeful I am correct — I disagree. In fact, I see benefits in being an introverted senior leader.

I also know people who can’t believe I can pastor a large church and be introverted. I’ve written before about the false assumptions of introverts. Introverts can be just as caring, loving and “shepherding” as extroverts. It’s a personality trait, not a heart monitor. But, again, I see benefits in being a lead pastor and an introvert.

Here are 7 ways introversion works well for me as a senior leader:

I think first and speak later. I don’t stick my foot in my mouth very many times. I’m not saying extroverts do, but I am saying that as an introverts I tend to choose my words very carefully. One characteristic of the personality is we don’t speak quickly. We choose our words more intentionally. Understand, I do say things I regret, but it doesn’t happen often.

I’m less likely to struggle with the loneliness of leadership. This is a real leadership emotion, and I certainly have it some, but I’m very comfortable being alone in a room to my thoughts. Long runs by myself are energizing to me. I know many extroverted leaders who can get very lonely — and some days for them are very difficult, especially when they are in the midst of harder leadership decisions.

I create intentional moments. My introversion forces me to be very intentional about my time interacting with others. I say continually to introverted leaders — introversion should never be a crutch or an excuse for not engaging with people. Leadership is a relational process for all of us. But, my relational time is very focused. I tend to make the most of my time. A calendar is one of my essential leadership tools. Sunday mornings I’m the most extroverted person in our church building. It’s strategic, intentional, and I enjoy it — because I truly love people — even though it is draining.

It’s easy to concentrate on the big picture. You’ll seldom find me chit-chatting. It’s not that I don’t have casual conversations — I certainly do when I’m connecting with people — but communication for me is usually very purposeful. As a result, I tend to be able to be very big picture oriented. Very strategic in my thinking. I step back and observe everything often. I’m a deep thinker. Those are traits especially strong with most introverts. That has proven to be very profitable for my leadership and the teams I lead.

Processed randomness. People often wonder if I know how to have fun. “Pastor you seem so serious” or “What do you do for fun?” I hear comments like that frequently. Those are usually people who only see me when I’m working and don’t know me very well. And, I do work hard, but I can sometimes be seen as the class clown too — by those who get to know me. Some of that comes through online. But when those times occur, they are usually intentional times. My work is caught up, I have done all the things I have to get done, and I’m ready to “come out and play”. That quality can be in extroverts or introverts, but for me as an introvert, they are more intentional moments than spontaneous.

I network intentionally. I recognize the value of every conversation I have. So, I have lots of conversations. Every Sunday is a gold mine of networking opportunities. Plus, I meet dozens of people every week in the community where I serve. I enjoy meeting people knowing that people are my purpose — and I love people — I really do. More than that, I love how God wants to develop and grow people, and I see my role in that as a teacher. People are the reason for everything I do.

I tend to listen well. People on my team usually have a very good chance of having their voice heard, because in any meeting setting, I don’t feel the need to be the one always talking. My introversion allows me to be quiet, sit back, listen, and reflect and offer input when and where most needed.

Sure there are struggles with being an introvert at times, but I have found it to be a blessing in my leadership. It is who I am — it is NOT a curse. Much of that has to do with how I manage my introversion in an often very extroverted world.

How does introversion make you an effective leader?

7 Quandaries of Leading Creatives

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Leading creatives can be difficult. In fact, I love having creatives on the teams I lead, but, honestly, they can make leading much messier.

In case you’re wondering, here’s a definition of a creative:relating to or involving the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work.

Creatives’ minds are always wandering. It makes leading a team meeting harder. They get bored easily. They are never completely satisfied.

And, before you creatives get too defensive…just so you know…

I’m a creative.

I’m not an artsy creative. I don’t paint, do music, etc. And that always confused me and kept me from considering myself one.

But, I’m a dreamer. I have a vivid imagination.

I’ve never met a day I didn’t have a new idea. My mind wanders quickly — randomly — often.

Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh, yea, creatives.

But, when I began to understand these things about myself it helped me understand the minds of other creatives on our team.

And, I love creatives being on the team. They bring new ideas. They stretch others. They add energy. They challenge mediocrity.

One huge paradigm for me was realizing the quandaries of being a creative. I think that’s the word. A quandary — “a state of perplexity” — confusion.

It is in some of these quandaries that might makes us creatives more difficult to lead.

See what I mean…and see if this is familiar with you — or the creatives you lead.

Here are 7 quandaries of the creative:

1. We don’t like boundaries, rules, policies (and we may test them or rebel against them) —- but we need them in order to be effective.

2. Sometimes our minds wander in so many directions, with no clarity, that we can’t even catch a single thought, and nothing makes sense —- other times the idea is laser-focused, and we can’t write, paint, draw, or sketch it fast enough.

3. We have lots of ideas, they are endless, maybe even helpful —- but sometimes we can’t get them out of our head and onto the canvas, or put them into a format that helps you understand what we are even thinking.

4. Nothing we observe is ever wasted, every new thing we see, hear, smell, touch, taste, can lead to another idea —- but it also means our mind is never still, and if we are forced still long enough, we become very bored, and hard to engage in conversation.

5. We don’t like deadlines, or being held to them —- but deadlines are usually the only way to keep us on task, so we actually crave someone to give them to us.

6. Ideas come fast; really fast, too fast sometimes —- but as fast as they arrive, they’re gone if we don’t record them quickly.

7. We are tremendously flexible in our imagination, in the things we can dream about or create —- but we can often be dogmatic in protecting our original ideas, and inflexible when it comes to changing them.

Have you noticed these quandaries? Any others?

Do you see how we could be more difficult to lead?

These quandaries of creatives can actually produce the challenge in leadership — the quandary of leading creatives. Within each quandary is a decision I have to make as a leader — knowing when to place boxes around them and when to give them free reign, etc.

It can be difficult. A friend of mine said last week, “The most difficult person to lead is myself.” I agree. It’s sometimes a quandary.

But, it often begins with an understanding — of the quandary — and ultimately of the people we are attempting to lead.

Do you see ways you can help lead creatives through the quandaries?

3 Ways to Helpfully Lead First Chair Leaders

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In my post 7 Ways to Attract First Chair Leaders to a Second Chair Position I presented thoughts on keeping a leader who could be the first chair leader (or someday wants to be) in the second chair position. I received good feedback from the post, but some questions, so I decided to write more thoughts on the topic.

I’m still working on a post to identify first chair leaders. I’ve been attempting to do that throughout my leadership career, but haven’t spent much time putting in writing what I have observed. Stay tuned.

Recently, however, I was in a meeting discussing this issue and a specific question was asked I felt I could address now.

A leader asked, “How do I help first chair leaders?”

This team has several first chair leaders, and this seasoned leader is wondering how to best help — and ultimately lead — other seasoned leaders. In a strictly organizational structure or reporting sense, this leader supervises other first chair type leaders, but the reality is, and he readily admitted, they have equal or more experience than this leader has in the area they are assigned to lead. They have a certain expertise in areas they lead this leader doesn’t have. And, many times, he feels they could lead without him in the picture. Yet, this leader is supposed to supervise — lead — them. (That is, by the way, a great start in being a humble, servant leader — recognizing they could do it without you.)

How does he do that in a helpful way?

Great question.

This is not an exhaustive or detailed list. I deal more in principles with this blog, because specifics are harder to answer for each context. And, my previous post shared some other, broader ways. This was the answer that came to my mind at the time. And, it seemed helpful.

Hopefully, if nothing else, it helps shape a thought process. I went to a board and drew out an attempted suggestion of how to lead first chair leaders. (See the picture with this post.)

Do you want to help the first chair leaders you supervise?

Help the first chair leader you supervise draw lines.

That’s right. Draw lines.

Then help them grow within the lines.

Here’s what I mean. Or, at least, I will attempt to share what I mean.

Help them define their purpose. (Represented by the two red lines in the picture.)

These lines represent the scope of what the first chair leader has been assigned to do. They’ve been asked to lead small group ministry, for example. Or, they’ve been asked to lead a missions ministry. Whatever it is they’ve been asked to accomplish, help them draw lines around that assignment — some boundaries if you will — a defined objective. If they are to be successful in what they’ve been asked to do, what would that look like?

Help them realize success. (Represented by the green arrows.)

Help them write clear goals and objectives. Share resources with them. Ask questions to stir their thought process. Give them assistance where needed or requested. Be a consistent cheerleader. Empower them. Don’t control. (See previous post.) Get out of the way when you’re in the way and get in the middle of things when you’re needed and requested to be there. Remember, these are first chair leaders. They can likely handle this without a lot of supervision, but your position, authority and experience may be extremely helpful at times. Be available when needed. Also, you may have to provide accountability at times and be their coach. And, if absolutely needed, you may need to be the hard voice in their life to help them stay on track towards success.

Help them protect the lines. (Represented by a blue “X”.)

There will always be interruptions — competing ideas and agendas — for a person’s time. As a leader of first chair leaders, you can help keep them within the predetermined lines. You can help protect the influences outside the lines. When they are asked to do something that doesn’t line up with the goals and objectives agreed upon, you can defend their right to say no. Of course, we all have to handle interruptions at times and do things we hadn’t “planned” to do, but you can help them discern when to step outside the lines.

Does that help? What other questions does it generate for you?