The Absolute Most Common Reason Change is Resisted

time for change

After years of leading change I’ve discovered some things about the process. One of those discoveries is that change will face resistance. All change.

Surprised by that revelation? Not if you’ve ever led change.

If the change has any value at all, someone will not agree — at least initially.

There is something in all of us that initially resists change we didn’t initiate.

And, I’ve discovered the absolute most common reason change is resisted. I mean the biggest.

Would that be helpful to know?

I would say it is true the majority of time when change is resisted.

Understanding this reason can help navigate through change. Ignoring it makes the process of change miserable for everyone.

What’s the most common reason change is resisted?

It’s an emotion they feel. They may not even be able to describe it, but it’s more powerful at the time than the excitement the change may bring.

What’s the emotion? You may think anger, or confusion, or fear. And, while those are often true emotions of change, in my observation it isn’t the most common. I recently wrote 7 Emotions of Change – and it isn’t one of them. I was saving the biggie for this post — because all the others are often products of this one.

The most common emotion that causes resistance to change:

A sense of loss

People emotionally feel a sense of loss in the process of change.

Have you ever felt like you were losing or had lost something?

How did you react? Didn’t you try to hold on to whatever you were losing?

It’s not a good feeling emotion.

Loss of power
Loss of comfort
Loss of control
Loss of information
Loss of familiarity
Loss of tradition
Loss of stability

They aren’t always rational emotions. They are often perceived as bigger than they really are.

But, they are real emotions to the person experiencing the emotion of loss.

It doesn’t matter if people know the change is needed. They often feel they may be losing something in the change — and it causes them to resist the change.

And, because change is — well — change — their emotions are based on some truth. Things are changing.

I have found, as a leader, that if I understand what people are struggling with I’m better prepared to lead them through it. Some people are never going to get on board with the change, but many times people just need someone to at least acknowledge their sense of loss. It doesn’t eliminate the emotion, but genuine empathy allows me to keep leading.

When a leader discounts a person’s emotions — or ignores them — the resistance becomes more intense — because the emotions become more intense. That’s when some of those other emotions — like anger — are often added. The process of change is stalled — sometimes even derailed.

Leader, are you paying attention to the emotions of change?

7 Indicators That You’re Not Leading Anymore

Leadership is action, not position

Being in a leadership position is no guarantee we are leading. Holding the title of leader isn’t an indication one actually leads.

Leading by definition is an active term. It means we are taking people somewhere. And, even the best leaders have periods — even if ever so briefly — even if intentional — when they aren’t necessarily leading anything. Obviously, those periods shouldn’t be too long or progress and momentum eventually stalls, but leadership is an exhaustive process. It can be draining. Sometimes we need a break.

For an obvious example, I try to shut down at the end of every day and most Saturdays. I’m not leading anything — but I’m still a leader. And, I periodically stop leading for a more extended period. During those times — I’m intentionally not leading anything. There are other times, such as after we’ve accomplished a major project, where I may intentionally “rest” from leading to catch my breath and rely on our current systems and structures to maintain us.

But, again, those times should be intentional and they should be too extended. In my experience, leaders get frustrated when they aren’t leading for too long a period.

For me personally, I like to evaluate my leadership over seasons, rather than days. Typically, just for simplicity of calendar, I look at things on a quarterly basis and then on an annual basis. How/what am I going to lead this next quarter — next year? How/what did I lead last quarter — last year?

If the past review or the future planning is basically void of any intentional leadership — if all I’m doing is managing current programs and systems during that time frame — if we are in maintenance mode for too long — I know it’s time to intentionally lead something. That’s good for me personally and for the teams I lead.

How do you evaluate if you are leading or simply maintaining? One way is to look for the results of leading. What happens when you do lead? And, ask if those are occurring.

For example…

Here are 7 indicators that you’re not leading anymore:

Nothing is being changed. Leadership is about something new. Somewhere you haven’t been. That’s change. If nothing is changing — you can do that without a leader.

No paradigms are being challenged. Many times the best change is a change of mindset — a way we think. Leaders are constantly learning so they can challenge the thinking “inside the box”.

You’re not asking questions. A leader only knows what he or she knows. Nothing more. And, many times the leader is the last to know. A great part of leadership is about discovery. And, you only get answers to questions you ask.

There are competing visions. Leaders point people to a vision. A vision. Not many visions. One of the surest ways to derail progress is to have multiple visions. It divides energy and people. It confuses instead of bringing clarity. When we fail to lead competing visions arise and confusion elevates.

No one is complaining. You can’t lead anything involving worthwhile change where everyone agrees. If no one is complaining someone is settling for less than best.

People aren’t being stretched. There are never moments of confusion. Please understand. A leader should strive for clarity. But, when things are changing and challenging there will always be times of confusion. That’s when good leaders get even better at communicating, listening, vision casting, etc.

People being “happy” has become a goal. Everyone likes to be liked. Might we even say “popular”. In fact, some get into leadership for the notoriety. But, the end goal of leadership should be accomplishing a vision — not making sure everyone loves the leader. Progress hopefully makes most people happy, but when the goal begins with happiness, in my experience, no one is ever really made happy.

Leader, have you been sitting idle for too long? Is it time to lead something again?

Do You Want to Join Our Team?

worship

I’ve never used this blog for this purpose but I decided to give it a try.

We are looking for a worship leader.

The job title is actually Associate Worship Pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church. 

But, who needs titles anyway? (Okay, some do)

But, this is so much more than a title. And, we are so much more than just the name of a church. We are experiencing a movement of God upon our city. And, it’s a great time to be a part of things here.

The primary role of this job — regardless of the title — is to partner with our worship pastor — who’s a really great guy (you’ll like him) — to build an incredible team — to encourage incredible worship opportunities.

This position leads in our largest gathering on Sundays — a modern, contemporary service — and has lots of other potential for leading in other areas — and participating in the life of the entire church. In fact, this position is being created because the previous associate left for a lead position, but this gives us an opportunity to reshape the position. And much of that will depend on the person who lands in the job.

Here are a few highlights of the position:

  • A full-time opportunity.
  • A healthy team environment. (And, hopefully continuing to get healthier. It’s kind of a value we have as a team.)
  • A healthy and growing church. (We aren’t battling here. We are unified around a mission.)
  • A position where you can grow and develop even more. (You should be good, but you don’t need to know it all. In fact, that wouldn’t be good if you thought you did. This is a great position to begin to develop as a leader.)
  • A position where the only lid placed upon you will be the one you set. (How involved do you want to be?)

Immanuel is a 105 year old, established, intergenerational church. We are in a period of revitalization and fast growth. Outreach Magazine has featured us as one of the fastest growing churches in America. We are staff-led church, with a very healthy team environment. It’s a great place to work. We are family friendly and enjoy doing ministry with each other. We hire for culture and chemistry fit as much as any other characteristic.

Lexington is a jewel of a city. You won’t find anyone who doesn’t enjoy living here. We excel in the entertainment and the arts, recreation, and culinary excellence. Our locally owned restaurants will keep you busy exploring the first few years you are here. The beauty of horse country surrounds us, yet we have a thriving downtown with something going on every evening. We have ice-skating downtown in the winter and water parks and minor league baseball in the summer. This is a college town – and even though UK dominates – we have a broad range of educators. We are the 6th highest per capita in people with advanced degrees. We are on the Broadway play tour and we have an award winning opera program. The symphony is here. The town has Southern charm and urban professionalism. It’s a great place to live. Read my post about Lexington HERE and watch this cool video about our city.

Interested? This is not meant to be a job posting, but more to stir interest. If you’re serious, I can send you more information.

Send me a confidential email to ron.edmondson@gmail.com

And, will you say a prayer for us in this search and as a church? We believe God is blessing us for such a time as this — and we don’t want to miss anything He has for us to do.

3 Things Creatives Need to Flourish

ideas spinning

There are some lessons that are only learned the hard way.

One of those has to do with working with creatives.

I used to think when leading creatives, the key was to free them to create.

I’ve learned — the hard way — that freedom alone for a creative can spell disaster. Nothing gets accomplished. No one is happy.

Please understand. I’m not a creative basher.

I am actually a creative. Not an artistic creative, but an idea creative.

And, it’s true for me too. It’s the way I thought I wanted or needed to be lead. Wrong.

I’ve learned these tips the hard way, attempting to lead creatives — and attempting to lead myself.

Creatives don’t need freedom — or at least freedom alone — they need more than that.

Here are 3 things creatives need to flourish.

1. Clear lines of direction. A clear vision. The box drawn around a certain end goal or objective.

2. The freedom to draw within the lines. (There’s the freedom creatives love.) Limited micromanagement. Maximum empowerment. The freedom to fail. The freedom to dream. All within the broad — very broad — but defined boundaries.

3. Accountability along the way. Someone to check in with them periodically. Motivate them. Give them encouragement. Let them know they are making progress — that they are doing good work.

Without the lines — without the accountability — creatives don’t flourish — they flounder. Things aren’t creative. They are messy.

Creatives love freedom — but it works best sandwiched between clarity and structure.

When those 3 are combined — lines, freedom and accountability — stuff gets done — and everyone is happy.

(Or mostly everyone. If everyone is happy someone’s not leading — creatives or otherwise.)

What Do You Do When You Don’t Know What To Do?

Questions and Answers signpost

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Wow! How many times do I hear people asking a question like that? It seems to be a daily occurrence.

Or maybe not just like that, but they want to know what to do — and they don’t know what to do. So they ask a question about what to do. (Are you following? :) )

Unfortunately, knowing the right thing to do is not an exact science. If only I knew every time I’m asked. In fact, if it were, many of us in my profession would either be out of a job — or making a lot of money.

Of course, the first answer is to talk to God, but how many times have you done that and still cannot discern what He is saying. What do you do then — when you don’t know what to do?

Again, I don’t always know. Wish I did. Sometimes I do, but sometimes I simply have some principles I can share.

Here are a few suggestions when you don’t know what to do:

Phone a friend. Someone who knows you well. Isn’t it wonderful how God puts people in our life who can speak into our life? The challenge is often having the courage to ask and then yielding to those voices. Have you been listening to people God has been sending your way?

What would daddy or mama do? What do the morals you were raised with say you should do? If you were raised with good principles go with them. Many times we actually know the right thing to do but our question is whether we want to do what we know is right.

Do nothing. Don’t be afraid to not make a decision if you don’t have to. Sometimes it’s okay just to be still. In fact, sometimes that’s the best decision.

Follow your gut. If, that is, your gut is good. And it’s very important that your gut be good. But, if you are in a good place in life, and you know you are making wise decisions in other situations, then you can often trust the voice within you.

Take a risk. Now may be the time to put all safety concerns aside and go for it. Most risks come with an element of the unknown. You will often have to pull the trigger on moving forward without all the answers to your questions. Don’t be surprised about that. Or afraid to do it. If it is something you feel strongly about, it isn’t sinful, and it doesn’t go against some of these other principles, then GO FOR IT!

Stop worrying. It won’t help. It won’t solve the problem. And it’s probably distracting you from making a good decision.

Walk by faith. Hopefully you have a faith in God. If not, we need to talk. But if you are a believer, then you have access to a power greater than your ability to make a good decision. The Spirit of God lives within you. Take full advantage of that privilege.

Those are just a few suggestions when you don’t know what to do.

Do you have any you would add?

7 Examples of Tough, But Smart Leadership Decisions

exhausted man

Leadership is tough. It’s especially tough when it involves people. :)

It is interesting, however, in my experience, how often the toughest decision is the smartest decision. It’s the one we know we need to make but it’s the hardest one to make. Every leader I know wants to be liked. They want to limit frustration among the people trying to follow. They want to be effective and for people to appreciate and value their leadership. Those are normal human desires.

And, making tough calls seems at times like they may jeopardize some of those things.

Yet, the ability and willingness to make the tough calls — and doing it well — is what often separates the successful leaders from the not so successful.

There are many examples of tough, but smart leadership decisions. You have your own. I’ll just share a few of mine that come to mind.

7 examples of some tough but smart leadership decisions:

If the answer is going to be no. Don’t delay saying it. It’s easier to say “let me think about it” — or to delay saying no for a time, maybe even saying what they want to hear, but if you already know you’re eventually going to say no, the smarter decision — as tough as it is — is to say no now. It saves a lot of grief for you and other people. This includes saying no to good things so you can say yes to best things. One of the toughest calls for me as a leader is telling someone I can’t meet with them. I hate it. I want to accommodate everyone. But, I’ve learned that I’m not always the right person. I sometimes complicate things by getting in the way, and I am not very effective if I don’t prioritize my time. As tough as it is, leader, if you don’t protect your time to do the things you must do, everyone on your team will suffer. If the answer is no — just say no.

Instead of making excuses. Own the problem. I don’t know about you, but I can always find someone or something to blame. That’s easy. Tougher is to admit it. We blew it. We made a mistake. We messed up. And, if the fault is clearly mine — I MESSED UP! People appreciate honesty. It’s smarter, by far, to be transparent than to always pass the buck.

When you aren’t sure what to do next? Admit it. I’ve learned there are usually people on the team who have some ideas that can help me if I’m humble enough to ask. As tough as it is to admit you are in over your head, you’ll gain support by seeking input. Strange as it may seem, you actually add credibility to yourself as a leader.

If you’re about to crash. Raise the white flag. This one seems especially needed for pastors. No pastor I know — and frankly no leader — is comfortable admitting they are facing burnout. The fear is we would lose support. But, the smarter decision is to confide in someone who can help. Getting help before you crash allows you to finish the race. It would be better to limp across the finish line than to be taken out of commission for a permanent injury. Get help now if you need it!

Challenge the sacred cows. Every leader knows that change is hard. And, changing the things people say can’t be touched are the toughest changes. Truth be told, I’ve learned some of these aren’t as sacred as they appear. It was just that no one ever challenged them. But, I’ve also learned that if a leader shies away from change he or she knows has to take place — for the long-term good of the church or organization — everything will eventually become a “sacred cow”. All change — even small changes — will face opposition.

Release your right to get even. That’s so tough — isn’t it? Because holding a grudge is much easier than offering forgiveness. Leadership involves power and every leader is tempted at some time to use that power in revenge. Don’t do it. It never proves smart in the end. A leader is severely injured in ability to attract loyal, trusting followers — who have the potential of becoming leaders — if he or she is ever seen as one who gets even. That leader may have followers, but they’ll turn on a dime against the leader when given a chance.

Take a risk on an unproven person. Good leaders like to surround themselves with competent people. Experience makes life easier for all of us. But, some of the best leadership discoveries I have made came with untested people. We took a risk. Giving a young pastor a chance before they graduate from seminary has proven to be some of my riskiest and yet wisest moves.

Those are 7 examples of tough, but smart decisions I have to make in leadership.

Which of these tough decisions do you need to make today?

Do you have any you’d share with me?

7 Emotions of Change

Voodoo Macumba Smileys Emotions Icons

Every change costs someone something.

One of those costs, which is often underestimated by those leading change, is the emotional response to change. All change has an emotional response.

Realizing and recognizing the emotions of change can help you better lead through the change. Acknowledging someone’s emotions goes a long way towards helping them accept it. Change is hard either way, but if you ignore the emotions you’ll find yourself always battling to make change successful.

Here are 7 common emotions to change:

Fear. Change can be very scary because it takes you into something unknown.

Grief. There’s a sense of loss associated with change. Something was left behind. People may have loved the way things were. Even if they know the change was needed people may grieve what they left behind.

Enthusiasm. This is a good emotion. Most of the time. And, for some people. There are times, however, that one groups enthusiasm further frustrates another person’s pain.

Anger. People can get mad about change. They can even “lose their religion”. Change can cause people to react in very ungodly ways. They may say or do things that are mostly out of character for them. (Although, sometimes change allows us to see someone’s true character.)

Confusion. Change takes people somewhere new and, therefore, can often leave people feeling very confused until they figure out and adjust to what the new reality will be after the change. There can even be an appearance of acceptance simply because a person doesn’t yet understand how they will be affected.

Loneliness. Change takes something away from people. It may have been what made them comfortable. They may feel an emptiness as a result of the loss.

Sadness. There can be a profound sadness to change. For example, I think of my wife when we have changed church assignments. She can know we are following God’s will but she is sad at the separation of relationships she values.

Numbness. Sometimes change can leave people with their heads spinning — especially when change is fast. People don’t even know what to feel — which means they don’t know how to respond. (You won’t know their true emotion to change until after the period of numbness.)

Next time you’re in the midst of change — which if you’re in leadership should be often — watch for — and find ways to acknowledge — the emotions of change. Don’t limit these emotions to leadership. They are true in all relationships — in marriage — parenting — life. Where change is occurring, emotions are sure to be found.

In a future post, I’ll share some thoughts on how to address each of these emotions.

What other emotions of change have you observed?

21 Ways to Keep a Church from Growing

growth

I was once asked to help a church process how to get younger people to attend. After we discussed some change recommendations a man pulled me aside and said, “Son, we don’t need no fancy ideas around here. We like being a small church.

I soon learned he represented the feelings of the church as a whole. They thought they wanted to reach younger people, but the truth was — when faced with change — they were really satisfied with the church as it had been for many years.

There’s nothing wrong with being a small church. Let me say that again — There is nothing wrong with being a small church. In fact, in some communities, what is considered small is actually large by comparison to churches in larger cities. I’m not opposed to small churches, but I do have a problem with some small church mentalities.

I think there is a difference.

As long as there are lost people nearby, I believe the church has much work to do. And, any organization, Christian or secular, that refuses to accept some changes will stop growing and eventually die.

The fact is that growing a church is hard work. It’s relatively easy to keep things small or stop growth.

In fact, I can come up with lots of ways I’ve seen that keep a church from growing.

Here are a 21 ways:

  • Make the entry to serving in the church lengthy or complicated
  • Develop followers not leaders
  • Squelch any dream except the pastor’s own
  • Refuse new people a voice at the table
  • Make sure everyone knows who is in charge — and it’s not Jesus
  • Cast your vision — but only once
  • Only do “church” inside the building
  • Demand that it be done the way it’s always been done
  • Give up when change is resisted
  • Make excuses when things go wrong
  • Quit dreaming
  • Resist any organized system, strategy or plans to grow the church
  • Stop praying
  • Insist you have all the answers before you “walk by faith”
  • Never challenge people
  • Treat new people as outsiders
  • Always refer to the past as the good times
  • Put more energy into structure than serving
  • Allow gossip to fester
  • The ministerial staff does everything
  • Be stingy investing in the next generation

Whenever I do a post like this I get a common — and expected — question. Well, if these are ways not to grow a church, then what are some ways to grow a church? And, that is one of the main topics I write about in other posts. But, for simplicity sake, try doing the opposite of some of these I’ve listed and see how they help the church to grow.

What am I missing? What else will keep a church from growing?

How Some of the Best Discoveries Are Made – In Life and Leadership

highland road

Don’t be afraid to take a wrong turn — or go where the path isn’t clear — or act when you don’t have all the details figured out yet.

Some of the best discoveries are made that way.

People are always asking Cheryl and me how we discovered a great new place to visit. Or to eat.

Don’t you love Instagram and Facebook for those postings?

Often it was on a discovery trip.

One time we were in Maryland. I said to Cheryl, “Let’s just take this road and see where it goes.”

It actually went to a dead end. At the ocean. Stop. No way out except where we came from. We may have even been in another state at that point. I never knew for sure.

There was one restaurant at the end of the road. It looked like a dump. Our cell service was so weak we couldn’t Google the place, so we just went for it. It turned out to be one of those memorable meals — in a good way.

We didn’t know where we were going or what we would find when we got there, but details don’t matter as much when you’re on a discovery mission.

We’ve actually used the discovery method to find dozens of great places. On most every vacation or trip we set aside some time just to discover something new. It gives us adrenaline as a couple, keeps things interesting (we’ve discovered some not so great places too) and — whatever we find — it gives us lots of great memories together.

I use the discovery method in leadership too. We try lots of new things. Some work. Some don’t. But, the ones that do prove to be some of our greatest discoveries. We found them by exploring.

Details are great. I know some people feel they need them. (Cheryl is that way.)

But don’t let not knowing them keep you from the greatest discoveries.

Explore. It’s often how the best discoveries are made.

And, it keeps life interesting.

In life and leadership.

7 Things That Weaken Leadership

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There are times I’m a better leader than other times. Sometimes that my fault. Other times the cause is unavoidable. If we can begin to identify what interrupts strong leadership, we can become better leaders. I have personally experienced some things in my own life that weaken my leadership. I am consistently finding ways to guard against them.

Here are 7 things that weaken leadership:

Distractions – As leaders, we do our best work when we are pointing people toward worthy visions. Some would say that’s precisely what leadership does. It’s easy to get distracted with things that, while they may be good, they don’t help move the organization towards the vision. In fact, they delay progress towards the vision.  I’ve also learned that I need to be leading in my strengths and if I ever get weak in my courage to say no to some things, my yes will be far less valuable.

Lack of discipline – It matters not that there is a great vision if we don’t discipline ourselves to reach it. That includes having good plans  good goals. Good objectives. Good systems and strategies.

Ceased learning – Leading others to grow requires leaders who are growing. When I stop the creativity I feed my mind, I cease to have anything new to offer the team I’m trying to lead. Life becomes rather stale — quickly.

Negative influences – It’s hard to be the only positive in a room full of negatives. Sometimes as a leader I’ve felt like more cheerleader than coach. It’s one reason I surround myself with people who have a good outlook on life. I don’t want all “yes” people, but if everything is always an immediate “no” — or “I don’t like it but I have nothing better to offer” — that’s draining and it is only going to bring down me and the strength of the rest of the team.

Fear – Risk is involved in every leadership decision. Notice I said every. And I meant every. I didn’t say risk was involved in every decision a leader makes but every leadership decision. Leadership is taking people to an unknown. That involves risk. Every time. And every risk involves a certain level of fear. That’s natural. Fear keeps leaders from moving forward when they allow the fear to dominate the decision more than the opportunity of the risk.

Pride – Pride goes before the fall. Pride destroys. Absolute pride destroys absolutely. Okay I embellished that one, but you get the point. Prideful leaders are always weakened by that pride. No one truly follows a prideful leader. They may obey. They may even be infatuated for a season. But, they don’t follow.

Contentment – Leadership involves a sense of urgency. When we lose that we lose the inner drive to lead well. We become weakened by our own loss of personal momentum.

Success – All of us love to succeed. I think attempting to is a pretty good goal. We might even plan for it. :) Sadly, though, sometimes a little success can usher in complacency. We can begin to think we’ve figured out a system to success. Before long, we don’t think we have to be intentional anymore — maybe not even have to try as hard as we used to try. We can become weak quickly by our own delusions of grandeur.

Those are a few things that have weakened my leadership.

What would you add to my list?