People ask simple questions frequently. Sometimes I have a simple answer.
Many times, however, there is a much longer story than I can answer quickly.
How did the church start?
How did you get into ministry?
How did you two fall in love?
What brought you to this church?
Why did you make that decision?
What makes you say that?
How did you learn that principle?
With almost every simple question that is asked…
In honor of Bubba Watson winning the Masters golf tournament today, I thought I’d share my favorite Bubba joke.
There once was a guy named Bubba.
Bubba once told his friend “I know everyone in the world. I really do.”
His friend replied respectfully, “Now Bubba. You know a lot of people, but there’s no way you know everybody in the world.”
“Yes I do. Pick anyone.”
“Okay, I bet you don’t know the mayor”
“Sure I do. Go ask him”
“Okay, I will”
So, he went to see the mayor.
“Excuse me mayor, but do you know Bubba?”
“Oh, Bubba, sure I know Bubba. I’ve known Bubba since we were kids”.
So the friend went back to Bubba. “Okay, Bubba, I didn’t think you know the mayor. I guess you do. But, seriously, there’s no way you know everyone in the world.
“But I’m telling you I do. Try me again”
“Okay, I bet you don’t know the governor”
“The governor. Of course I do. Go ask him”
“Okay, I will”
So, he went to see the governor.
“Excuse me governor, but do you know Bubba?”
“Oh, Bubba, sure I know Bubba. Bubba is a great friend of mine”.
Surprised, the friend went back to Bubba. “Okay, Bubba, I didn’t think you know the governor. I guess you do. But, seriously, there’s no way you know everyone in the world.”
“But, I keep telling you I do. Name someone else. Anyone”.
“Okay, I want to try someone away from politics. What about Tom Cruise. I be you don’t know Tom Cruise. You obviously know a lot of people, but there’s no way you know Tom Cruise.”
“Oh, Tommy boy. Sure I know him. Why don’t you ask him?”
“Okay, I will”
So, he was able to go to where Tom Cruise was filming a new movie and made his way to the studio, where he was able to briefly approach him.
“Excuse me Mr. Cruise. I know this is an awkward question, but do you know Bubba?”
“Oh, Bubba, sure I know Bubba. I’ve known Bubba long before I became an actor.”
So the friend went back to Bubba shocked an amazed. “Okay, Bubba, I didn’t think you would know Tom Cruise, but I guess you do. But, seriously, these are just coincidences. There’s no way you know everyone in the world.”
“But I keep telling you I do. Name someone else.”
“Okay, but this one is going to be a stretch. I bet you don’t know the President of the United States.”
“Oh, that’s easy. He’s an old friend. Of course I do. Go ask him”
“Okay, I will”.
Through a series of connections, the friend was able to have a brief encounter with the president.
“Mr. President, I’m so sorry to bother you, but one quick question. Do you know Bubba?”
“Do I know Bubba? Well, is this a trick question? Because that’s too easy. Of course I know Bubba. I’ve known Bubba since long before I got into politics.”
The friend was stunned. He went back to Bubba and said, “I really am surprised. You clearly appear to know just about everyone. You knew the mayor, the governor, Tom Cruise and the president. But, seriously, it’s a big world. There’s no way you could know everyone in the world.”
“Try me”.
“Okay, one more test. If you pass this one I’ll assume you know everyone in the world. I bet you don’t know the Pope.”
“Oh, the Pope. Of course, I do. That’s easy. I knew the Pope before he was confirmed as a Catholic”
“Well, I’ll have to see it for myself. This time you’re going with me.”
So, they went to see the Pope, but when they got to the Vatican, the Pope was scheduled to speak to the crowds of people. Bubba said, “Look, it’s been a while since the Pope has seen me. I don’t want to startle him. Let me go in and say a few words to him and then I’ll introduce you.”
The friend just knew he had him. He knew Bubba would go in, get the Pope to go along with his story and try to make him believe they already knew each other, but, he decided to let him go.
A few minutes later, the Pope came out on the balcony to speak to the crowds. Who would have guessed, but walking closely behind the Pope was none other than Bubba.
And that’s when the friend passed out.
Bubba rushed down to check on his friend. He woke his friend and said, “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Well”, the friend said, “I was okay until everyone around me started saying, ‘Who’s that guy with Bubba?”
My father told me that joke the first time. I had the same reaction you just had.
People email me everyday about how to improve their blog, how to write more, or whether they should even start a blog. There are countless “experts” always telling us how to write better blogs and what to do to increase readership. I read some of them and some of them are helpful; maybe even all of them if I had time to implement all of their strategies. Frankly, most days I do good just to get some thoughts out. (Typos and all.)
Here’s my best advice:
I guarantee you no one will read your blog if you never write it. No one! Not even you would bother to do that. Not even your mother.
Write it! The more you write, the better you’ll get and the more you’ll think of to say. You can’t control everyone who does or doesn’t read your blog once it is written, but you can before you write it. Write it and at least you’ll have a couple readers. That’s a start.
You and your mother love the way you write anyway.
I am more of an outdoor exercise person, but in the winter, I frequent the gym. I belong to the gym on our local university campus, so I’m usually one of the old guys. It has made me more aware of my surroundings. I sometimes feel uncomfortable, like everyone is thinking “Who’s the old guy?”.
Recently I started observing the different type of people who come to the gym.
Stalkers – They scope out one person and always seem to use the equipment next to them. They are at the gym to make connections, for one reason or another.
Walkers – These people belong to the gym only to walk around a small track. It seems to work for them, but they could just as easily be mall walkers. 
Gawkers – They are just here to stare and they do it well.
Talkers – The gym is their social place. They do more socializing the exercising.
Balkers – Balkers are still not sure they’re into this gym thing. They move from machine to machine quickly, never landing on one they actually want to use. They may or may not be back.
Clockers – These gym people are just doing their time. They may or may not want to, but they know they need the exercise. They do their business and they’re gone.
Bulkers – These are the ones who seem to be at the gym every time you go, regardless of the time of day. They are serious and they seem to look at their muscles a lot too.
Recently I was in a store and heard a little boy yell, “Mom…or Dad” across the store. I was reminded how special those words are every time I hear them.
Then I started to reflect. I like words, but some words just have a more special ring to them. I have some favorite words. Whenever I hear them, I feel warmer inside.
Not necessarily in order of importance…
God
Jesus
Mom
Dad
Thanks
Love
Wife
Golly
Friends
Family
Faithful
Grandchildren
Grace
Husband
Sunshine
Sister
Marriage
Rest
Food
Brother
Chocolate
Caring
Christmas
Easter
Cross
Bible
Health
Life
Heaven
Blessing
Victory
Beloved
Sunny
Smile
Laughter
Eternity
Security
Saved
Grandparent
Sorry
Vacation
Forgiveness
Giggle
Tickle
Home
Heart
Memories
Books
Music
Ocean
I’m sure I’ve missed one or two.
Which words come to mind as your favorite words?
Here’s a quick confession. I’ve told readers before that I’m an introvert. That’s not the confession. I’ve learned lots of pastors are introverted.
In fact, I can appear fairly extroverted at times.
When I have a definite purpose and responsibility, I can be the most extroverted person in the room. On Sunday, for example, I work the crowd, shake tons of hands, and talk non-stop. It’s hard for people to believe I’m really an introvert. I go home exhausted on Sunday and need hours to recuperate. When I’m speaking at a conference, I work the room well.
Unfortunately, my introverted personality kicks in when I’m simply attending a gathering, especially with people I may not know.
I’ve missed a few social gatherings due to my introversion.
Not only that…it gets worse…
There have been times, if attendance is optional, and Cheryl isn’t with me, I’ve intended to go to a social gathering, driven to the event, pulled into the parking lot, sat in my car for a few minutes, decided to drive around a little while, never went in…and missed the party completely. I skipped the fun, the opportunity to connect, and only left disappointed in myself.
Don’t misunderstand. I love people. I love meeting new people. I’m always glad when I go. I simply can’t push through the introversion sometimes.
This time of year, it’s easy for me to allow my introversion to keep me from enjoying the season.
This is to me and anyone else who will admit to being this introverted:
Push through the introversion. Put your party hat on and do the social gathering. You’ll be glad once you did. I always am.
Anyone else brave enough to admit being this introverted?
By the way, you may want to read these posts about my introversion:
7 Pitfalls of Being an Introverted Pastor
How an Introvert Handles Awkward Situations
7 Ways Extroverts Can Help Introverts
7 Ways I Work with Introversion to Protect My Ministry
The title of this post may get me in trouble, but there’s a point behind it. In marriage conferences, I used to teach the difference in the way a man and a woman develop respect and love. Basically, for my purposes here, men can usually separate their respect for someone based on their abilities in a certain area.
So a man may be able to respect a businessman for his skills in business, even if that man is a lousy husband and father. For a woman, because she typically develops her respect as much from her heart as from what she knows about someone, if the businessman is a lousy husband, she will have a harder time respecting him professionally. (I realize that’s a generalized statement, but I’ve seen it many times. I may post more about that concept in the future.)
I’m less likely to respect…and ultimately support…that team…
But…
That coach/player/team likely has me cheering for them when they play.
I know…it should just be about the game, my favorite team, etc., but I have a hard time separating the two. I see guys choose their “favorite” player who in my book is a poor role model for anyone, regardless of skills. My loyalty to a team usually fades if the coach has lousy character and grows if he is a man of good character, and likewise for a player. I may be able to admire the skills of the player, but I can not get behind them as a player if they can’t be a good role model. That’s why I’m such a Tim Tebow fan (watch THIS VIDEO I posted about him yesterday) and why I was always a Tony Dungy fan.
Go ahead. Make fun of me. Even call me a girl if you want. If your favorite coach or player is a jerk…like them…be loyal in spite of that fact…but I’ll be cheering on the other side.
Anyone else like me?
God’s ways are not my ways…I know that’s true, but still, some days I wish He took suggestions.
It should never rain on Mondays…
In fact, can we do away with Monday’s altogether?
There should be some times where time really does stand still…
Eating should be an exercise and burn calories…
Love should never fade…
That “write God’s will in the sky” idea…I’d consider that…
Puppies shouldn’t grow up…
Snakes, ants, flies, and gnats could be done away with some weird, temporary climate change (You can do this!)
Everyone should have a sense of humor…
Could you make women (and some men) easier to understand…
Well, at least that’s a start to God’s suggestion box.
This is a satirical post. It’s in the “funny” category. If humor bothers you I understand. It’s one of my suggestions. Honestly, there are so many other (more serious) suggestions I would put in such a suggestion box and I’m glad God operates apart from my “suggestions”. I tend to mess things up when I’m in charge. God knows best. In fact, this whole sin problem the world suffers from started when a couple of people thought they could compete with God.
Scrap the suggestion box idea after all. Let’s simply (or not so simply) trust God.
But, just in fun, if God had a suggestion box, what would you suggest?
Mustard Seed Thoughts
