25 Things Momma Used to Say

Angry mother scolding a disobedient child

Mothers are great. They make the world a better place. My mom is my hero. Where would we be without Momma?

But, I wonder — is there a handbook of sayings all mothers must use?

Did your mother say any of these?

“Whatever floats your boat”

“If I had a dollar for every time”

“I’m always a day late and a dollar short”

“You’re cruising for a bruising”

Followed closely behind by…

“And if you don’t quit it you’re gonna get it”

“Use your head for more than a hat rack”

“These socks won’t pick up themselves.”

“If you keep looking like that your face is gonna freeze.”

“Cut it out before someone gets hurt.”

“When I was growing up…”

“Starving children in Africa…”

“Get outside and play”

“A little “birdy” told me!”

“Am I talking to a brick wall?”

“You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your shoulders.”

“I don’t care who started it, I said stop!”

“If you don’t stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!”

“If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.”

“You will eat it, and you WILL like it!”

“You can’t find it? Well, where did you leave it last?”

“I’m not made of money”

“Don’t give me that attitude.”

“Put that back where you found it.”

“…talk until I’m blue in the face….”

“You’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off.”

Bonus: “Do you know how much I love you?”

What else did Momma say?

7 Reasons I’m Dumping Delegation

large dumper in action

I’ve always strived to be a delegator. I know I’ve written posts on it before…how to do it successfully…that kind of garbage. But, that’s before I knew the skinny on delegation. So, that’s it. I’m done. No more delegation for me.

I’m dumping delegation for good.

Here’s what I discovered…

7 problems with delegation:

I might appear to be doing less – Everyone knows I’m the leader. What will they think if I’m not the one doing everything?

I will lose authority – Delegation…done right at least…means I give up the right to control. Does that even need an explanation? Seriously?

I will still have to be available – Supposedly you aren’t supposed to dump and run with delegation. So, if I’m going to be involved anyway…I might as well do it. Duh.

Someone might not do things the way I would – And you know my way is best.

It might get done faster and better – Faster is one thing…but better? Who’s got time for that? And, then what am I going to do with the extra time on my hands?

It might expose or grow a new leader – How threatening!

Someone else might get credit – My credit!

Do you see why I’m dropping delegation from my leadership toolbox? Brilliant I say.

What say you? What problems have you discovered with delegation? Ahh…never mind. I’ll answer myself.

(For those who struggle with a weird sense of humor like mine…or for the extremely literal among us…here’s the disclaimer you’re looking for…Is this enough? Hope so, because I’ve technically delegated clarifications of my posts to someone on our team. And, I think they’re off today.)

7 Benefits of Being a Controlling Leader

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Oh, the joy of controlling leadership. It’s highly under appreciated.

Oh, I know, this appears to be a change of tune for me. This blog has been critical of controlling leadership as a very poor leadership style. I apologize. I should have recognized the benefits in controlling leadership before now. Thankfully, there’s still time in my leadership career. Hopefully I caught you in time too.

Controlling leadership, if done well, offers some powerful contributions to the organization.

Here are 7 benefits of being a controlling leader:

You keep things small. Small is so easy to manage. Growing is so overrated.

New ideas are stifled. New always translates to different…you know…how we’ve done things before now. Different can be messy. Keep things neat and tidy and life is more comfortable.

Change is minimal. Change is hard. Unpopular. Challenging. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

There are fewer misunderstandings. Everything is clear. You’re the boss and no one questions your authority. There. Take that.

You get all the credit. You can even blame others for mistakes. Because, after all, you’re in control.

Risk and fear is minimized. (Or so it seems at the time.) If you can control things, you can keep things from getting away from you. It’s. safer. (At least it seems.)

People don’t grow. You know what happens when people grow. They start developing their own leadership skills. Pretty soon they start thinking they could do things on their own. Perhaps even better than you can do them. They may even leave searching for another opportunity. They may leave. Stop that. (And that’ll keep ‘em with you forever, right?)

See how cool this is. Right now you’re probably thinking you should’ve thought of this controlling leader deal years ago. You can thank me later.

But, you controlling leaders better quit reading this post. Someone is waiting on you to make a decision. You make all of them around there…don’t you? It’s what you do best.

What other benefits have you seen to controlling leadership?

This is a satirical post. It is intended to be funny. But, if you’ve ever worked for or been a controlling leader…you know it’s not funny. Don’t you?

Communication Often Changes Everything

gym

I was at a gym recently on an elliptical.

At the entrance there is a table with sign up sheets for various machines. People reserve their space in advance a week at a time. On that particular day, there was no sign up sheet for Monday. There was a sheet for other days, but not for Monday.

What took place for the next 20 minutes was humorous, but illustrated a great principle.

Half a dozen gym members debated the missing sign up sheet:

Maybe Monday is a holiday.

It’s not a holiday that should affect the gym.

No, it’s not a holiday.

There may be an error

No, because they have Tuesday and Wednesday 

I bet they’re saving that day for something special

Yea but they usually put a sign on the door 

And what about us regulars?

It’s probably a private party.

I hate when they do that.

Has it happened before.

I think so.

It’s not fair. 

We should complain.

After 20 minutes of similar dialogue, one wise person said, “I’ll just go ask.”

She did. It was a clerical error. Problem fixed. Problem solved. In a matter of minutes.

Unfortunately, I see this kind of thing all the time in leadership and life. Even in families and other relationships.

Sometimes…

  • Rather than complain
  • Rather than make up your own scenario
  • Rather than stir gossip

Sometimes, all you need to do is ask.

Especially in relationships…relationships of all kinds…when it involves people…when miscommunication or misunderstanding is possible…and it always is…

Communication often changes everything.

The church that pleased everyone…

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Once upon a time there was a church that pleased everyone.

You read that right…everyone.

Of course…

They taught nothing…

They had no pastor…

They had no programs…

They never asked for money…

They challenged no one…

They sang everyone’s favorite song…every Sunday…

No one actually attended this church, but certainly no one ever complained either.

Have you ever been to that church?

(I hope you realize the sarcasm in this post, but if not and and you’re actually looking for this church. I think it’s located next to the pastor that pleased everyone, the song that pleased everyone, and the blog post that pleased everyone. :) )

Handling Conflict is Easier These Days

close up of a business man using a mobile phone

Thanks to cultural improvements…technological advancements…

Handling conflict has become so much easier these days.

You know what I mean…

No longer do we have to confront a problem in person.

We can send a nasty text or email.

We can easily “unfriend” someone.

We can quit following them on Twitter.

If the conflict is really bad, we can even “block” the person.

Technology allows conflict to be addressed in cyber space.

Super easy. Even seems fun sometimes to take a cheap shot when the person is in the virtual world.

It’s not the best way…it seldom really solves the problem…it often escalates things into something bigger…

But, at least it’s easier on the front end.

Who knows…maybe there’s even an app for that…