Ron Edmondson » Fear

5 Steps to Help You Worry Less

Ron Edmondson — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:00:44 +0000

Worry is like a plague of our body. It attacks our mind, then our heart, and over time, it can consume our overall health. Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life.” How good are you at obeying that verse?

One part of maturing as believers is to begin to eliminate worry from our life. I’m not claiming we ever get there, but as we grow we should, over the years, worry less.

Here are 5 steps to having less worry:

Pray more – It’s a trade-off. You can never do both at the same time. Which would you rather do?

Do wise things – You’ll have less to worry about.

Read more – Of course, I’d recommend the Bible first, but read things that speak of truth. Fill your mind with good things. It will crowd out the bad things.

Choose your thoughts carefully – Why worry about what you can’t control? Think on things you can control, rather than things you can’t. (For a sermon on doing this, click HERE.)

Trust more – Step up your faith. God is on His throne, He has a plan, and He will do what is best. Every time!

Be honest: Are you a worrier?

10 Lies Women Believe

Ron Edmondson — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:10:30 +0000

Recently I posted 10 Lies Men Believe. As expected, whenever I post about men the women ask when I’m doing a companion post. Several women said they often believe the same lies as the men. I don’t doubt that. Some men will believe some of the lies in this list also.

Let me make this clear. I am not a woman. If you weren’t sure, now you know.

In my role as a pastor and counselor, however, I have observed the differences in men and women for years. It does appear to me that the most common lies we believe…at least the ones the enemy uses against us most often…are often different. Again, these are by observation only.

Here are 10 lies women often believe:

I will never let someone hurt me again

I can depend on this guy to meet all my needs

I think everyone is talking about me

I’m not as beautiful as she is

I can’t do that even if I try

I must do ________, so I’ll be loved

I won’t let it hurt my feelings

I’m not good enough for him

I’ll never recover from that mistake

I know this guy would never disappoint me

I continually encounter women who have been emotionally injured or heart-crippled, because they are believing lies fed by the world, broken dreams or misplaced full devotion. The only way out of a lie is with truth. You might begin by reading Psalm 139:14, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 4:8, 1 Samuel 16:7 or Proverbs 31:30.

But, since I’m not a woman…

What do you think? What other lies do women believe? Perhaps some women will educate me now

10 Lies Men Believe

Ron Edmondson — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:00:02 +0000

I sat with a man recently. He’s lost his job, can’t find another and it’s having an impact on his marriage. I quickly diagnosed his real problem. Not that I’m an expert in diagnosing problems, but I’ve seen this one many times and his language made it clear.

He said things like, “I used to be able to…” and “I don’t think I’ll ever…”. It seemed clear to me, so I took a chance and told him my theory. He was believing a lie.

If you’re a man, at some point, you’ve probably believed one of these lies:

I will fail if I try

I don’t measure up

I am not as good as he is

I don’t have what it takes

I can’t win

I can do this and no one will know

I can’t be honest about that

I’m the only one who has ever struggled with this

I can’t recover from that

I can’t be the spiritual leader of my home

If you’ve been hit with a setback, if you are licking your wounds from a failure, if you simply can’t find your way right now, you may be allowing the enemy, the world or your own mind to feed you some lies.

One way out of the “funk” may be to insert some truth into your life. (Look up these verses as a start: Philippians 4:13, Joshua 1:9, 1 John 4:4, Psalm 121:1.)

Which of the above lies are you currently believing?

You might also read the companion post, 10 Lies Women Believe.

Getting Gut Honest With Jesus: Don’t You Care?

Ron Edmondson — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 12:50:51 +0000

Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Mark 4:38 NIV

I have been told that the stern is the strongest part of the boat. The Creator of the universe was asleep there. The One who made the waters and was there when the waters were parted; who led Moses as Moses led the people through on dry ground had His head on a cushion. The One who walked with three guys in the fiery furnace, in all of His current humanity had decided He needed some rest. The disciples apparently lost sight of the fact that, Jesus was not only human, and He was also fully God.

I am reminded that I forget the same thing at times. Have you ever felt like the disciples felt? Have you ever wondered if Jesus cared? Has the thought crossed your mind that Jesus may not even be aware of your current situation? Have you thought, “Jesus, I see my problems, don’t you?” Or maybe, if you are honest, have felt something like, “Jesus, don’t you care?”

Of course, our spiritual piety would never allow us to admit our weakness in this area fully. Could I as a pastor really admit that I doubted His love? Could you? Yet if I am honest, sometimes from my perspective, it appears that Jesus is nowhere to be found and I am left all alone to wallow in my sorrows. Just saying….

I think the best thing we can possibly do in those situations is to be like the disciples and admit our frailty to God. When we get gut honest with Him about our insufficiencies, perhaps He will be willing to do what only He can do.

Do you need to have an honest conversation with Jesus today?

(This is a repost. Someone found it online in the archives. Sometimes I like to bring them forward, since my readership has tripled since this first appeared and half my readers do so by email.)

7 Traits of an Insecure Leader

Ron Edmondson — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:00:38 +0000

Insecurity always shows up in a person’s life. It can be disguised, but it can’t be hidden. Insecure people, or people who aren’t secure in who they are personally or comfortable with their abilities, display some common characteristics.

Here are 7 traits you may see in an insecure leader:

Defensive towards any challenge – The insecure leader flares his or her insecurity when ideas or decisions made are challenged in any way. They remain protective of their position or performance.

Protective of personal information – The insecure leader keeps a safe distance from followers. Their transparency is limited to only what can be discovered by observation. When personal information is revealed, it’s always shared in the most positive light.

Always positions his or herself out front – Insecure leaders assume all key assignments or anything which would give attention to the person completing them. They are careful not to give others the spotlight.

Limits other’s opportunities for advancement – The insecure leader wants to keep people under his or her control, so as to protect their position.

Refuses to handle delicate issues – Insecure leaders fear not being liked, so they often ignore the most difficult or awkward situations.

Makes everything a joke – One huge sign of an insecure leader is that they make a joke about everything. Joking is a coping mechanism used to bring attention and a false sense of being liked to the insecure leader.

Overly concerned about personal appearance – Some insecure leaders are never far from a mirror. They are overly conscious of their clothing. Afraid of not being in style or being accepted as hip or cool, they are constantly looking for the latest fashion trends or attempting to be cutting edge with the gadgets they carry.

Please understand, all of us have moments of insecurity. Leaders, especially if they want to be effective, must learn to recognize signs of insecurity, figure out the root causes of it, and attempt to limit that insecurity from affecting their leadership.

What other traits have you seen that indicate someone is an insecure leader?

Notes: Catalyst Atlanta… #Cat11 – Mark Driscoll

Ron Edmondson — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:44:07 +0000

Mark Driscoll spoke on fear in the opening session of Catalyst Atlanta.

He began by stating: Every leader is afraid of something.

Fear in the mind causes stress on the body.

Your body will start to manifest that stress. Some suffer with depression, can’t sleep, eat or drink too much, they get stomach problems or headaches. Or some just start reading lots of books on the rapture thinking “God, aren’t we done yet?”

Jesus said, “Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to your life?”

Fear is not always a sin, but it always is an opportunity. We can fear or trust in the Lord.

Questions to consider addressing fear:

What are you afraid of? - Some of you are afraid of conflict or failure.

Who are you afraid of? – Often someone other than God takes that place in your life. We start giving glory to them by attempting to satisfy them. We place people in positions of fear and we make them functional gods. Proverbs says the fear of man is a trap.

To examine that question more consider: Who’s opinion matters way too much to you? Is your appetite for praise unhealthy? Are you committed to people or things that God didn’t call you to?

Mark then shared 5 statements about fear:

Fear is vision without hope - (Fear is how we see things in the worst case scenario. This is the future and it’s going to be painful, so I’m stressed about it and living in dread toward it.)

Fear is not always rational, but it is always powerful – (It has a huge impact on us.)

Fear is about getting what we want or don’t want. (It’s self-absorbing.)

Fear preaches a false gospel – (We look for a solution we must find to save us rather than relying on God.)

Fear turns all of us into false prophets – (We predict a future that will never happen causing ourselves stress.)

Then Mark asked us to consider: What’s the solution?

The Bible gives a simple answer: FEAR NOT

It’s the most frequently mentioned command in the Bible.

God didn’t simply give us the command. Throughout the Bible God reminds us, “Fear not, for I am with you.”

Everything may not be okay in your life, but if God is with you, you’re going to be okay.

Driscoll closed with a story about his son being afraid. He comforted him by reminding him, “Fear not, your daddy is with you.”

This was a great reminder not to live in fear as believers. It’s especially timely for many of the pastors I know…including me. God is calling us to huge tasks. I see fear as a major stumbling block to following God’s will. We must not allow fear to disrupt or derail us.

Since this issue is on fear, and I suspect some may struggle with this, I refer to a couple posts I’ve written on fear:

7 Questions When Facing Fear

5 Reminders for Ridding Your Life of Fear

7 Questions to Ask Yourself When Facing Fear

Ron Edmondson — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:00:24 +0000

I’ve watched fear keep many people from achieving all God would have them achieve. I’ve watched fear keep a guy from pursuing the girl of his dreams. I’ve watched fear drive people to the safe side, rather than to assume the risk required to pursue their dreams.

Fear is the enemy of progress. Fear is the antagonist of pursuit. Fear is the foe of fulfillment in life.

What can we do about fear? How can we overcome the dreaded fear?

I don’t know that we can completely…or that we even want to completely…but I think we need to learn to manage the fear in our life. Hopefully this post can help.

Next time you are faced with a seemingly uncontrollable fear…

Ask yourself these 7 questions:

Is it a God-given or a man-made fear? - Fear is an emotion and God can use fear to keep you from harm. Is what you would be doing against God’s will for you or others? If it’s wrong to do, no wonder you are afraid. God may be trying to protect you. If you are continually making bad decisions in your life, you’ll likely live in fear. You may not even be able to understand the emotion, but in my experience, it’s one way God draws His children to Himself. Failure to walk by faith, which is a sin by the way, can also bring upon the emotion of fear. If you’re fear is from God…obey God! That’s your answer every time.

Is it a rational or an irrational fear? - Consider whether you are basing your fears on fact or fiction. Are you making up the scenario of what could go wrong or is the fear based on real information you have? Be honest with yourself here. If you’ve been making up the excuses, dismiss them and proceed.

Is it probable or improbable? - The truth is that most of what we fear never comes true. Our mind is capable of all kinds of worst-case scenarios that keep us from moving forward. We shouldn’t allow fear in things that will probably never even happen stop the progress God may want to bring in our life. The fact is you may fail, but remember, failure is a part of building life experience. Unless you know you’re going to fail (which is highly unlikely) I suggest you move forward.

Can anything be done to diminish the risk? - We should attempt to diminish fear through planning and preparation as much as possible. There is nothing wrong and everything right about being prepared. I’m not motivated by fear, but I have an alarm system at my house. (And a shotgun! ) If your fear is based on a lack of preparation, get busy developing the systems and strategies to help you succeed.

Is what I’m fearing necessary or unnecessary? - Is this something you must address? If it’s a conflict you’ve been avoiding, for example, the fear will only get stronger the longer you wait. The earlier you face the fear the more likely you’ll get positive results. Sooner or later, the fear must be faced. What better time than now?

Is the fear personal or impersonal? – Are you afraid of your abilities or the reaction of others? Do you wonder if you have what it takes? It’s only natural that a challenge would create an amount of fear…even a captivation with fear. Every act of courage means you ignore an aspect of fear. Don’t let your insecurities keep you from achieving your dreams.

Are you satisfied with the status quo? - I know it’s a hard question, but if fear is keeping you from moving forward, and you’ve answered the other questions, this may be the one. You need to strongly consider the repercussions of giving into your fear. It may mean you stand still. It may mean you go backwards. It may mean you never realize the dreams you have for your life or the calling God has placed upon you. Are you willing to live with that?

Share your story. Have you allowed fear to keep you from realizing all God has for you? What would you add to my list?

5 Reminders for Ridding Your Life of Fear

Ron Edmondson — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 11:00:09 +0000

Most of us live our lives with some kind of fear. That’s probably uncontrollable to a great extent. We live in a very fearful world. The title of this post may be a bit misleading; fear may always be with us, but I think it should be a challenge to have less fear of this world in our life.

What would it be like to live your life apart from fear or with less fear?

Here are some points of understanding which can help us become less afraid of the unknown situations of life:

Life can be uncertain -

There are lots of unknowns in the world. That makes people afraid. Most people would prefer to know the outcome of a situation and yet many times, probably most of the time, we do not get that privilege. Most of the horrifying experiences of my life seem to come upon me suddenly. We tend to want the expected to occur, but we should always be prepared, at least emotionally, for the unexpected.

Fear is an emotion and not necessarily a reality -

Someone actually defined fear as a felt reaction to a perceived danger. We innately have the ability to respond quickly to danger. Sometimes we can feel that a situation is going to be scary before it actually is. Our reaction to that sense of fear often determines how well we handle the situation.

We must keep ourselves from allowing negative scenarios to build in our mind. People often take a fear and begin to build scenarios in their mind of what might, could, or is going to happen. Most often these scenarios are irrational. When the emotion of fear begins we must analyze its rationality and if it is based on an unknown occurrence we must dismiss it as strictly emotion and not reality.

Sometimes we must face our fears in order to receive victory over them -

We can’t allow fear to alter God’s plans for our life or steal our joy. We should not be too surprised if in our weakness and fear God encourages us to be strong. When Elijah was hiding out from Jezebel because he was terrified, God sent him back to face her again. (1 Kings 19) Elijah had to go back before he could go forward. God will often allow us to face our fears as well.

Ask yourself two questions:

What fear do you need to face before you can get on with your life?
Is fear holding you back from moving forward in some area of your life?

There are two consistent themes in the Bible. We are to walk by faith and we are not to be afraid. I think those two themes are related to each other. It takes doing the first to accomplish the second.

God has a plan even when our fear tells us that He doesn’t -

Since fears are an emotional response and emotions are not always reliable, fears will often cause people to lose their trust and dependence on God. At the same time, God will often use fear to draw people to Him. Most people grow best when they are being stretched by life. God often uses faith-stretching events; times when people are most afraid, to grow and mature His people. One time Jesus made His disciples get into the boat, even though He probably knew as the Creator that a storm was approaching. Faith tells us that God’s plan is secure, even when our fear says otherwise.

As we grow more in love with God, we fear less -

Perhaps the greatest secret to overcoming fear in the Bible is found in 1 John 4:18, which says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Perfect love casts out fear. If ever a person could perfectly know the love of God he would never have to be afraid again. Whenever we run from the challenges of life, God has to wonder why. He must wonder “Am I not enough? Do you think this is too big for me?” As we grow in our love for and our trust in God we will be better able to live our lives in a confident assurance that God is in full control.

To continue to mature as believers we must be working to rid our life of the fear that keeps us from completely following and trusting in God.

What is your greatest fear you would like to overcome?

Scripture Memorization, Week 37

Ron Edmondson — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 11:00:22 +0000

In light of all we are facing as a nation, and what this weekend represents, here is this week’s memory verse:

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3

You may also read:

5 Greatest Fears of Real People

Getting Rid of Fear in Your Life

A Devotional Encouragement on Overcoming Fear

What is your greatest fear?

Is Suicide an Unforgivable Sin?

Ron Edmondson — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 11:30:48 +0000

Suicide sucks!

I realize this is a heavy issue for this blog, but seriously…I have had to sit with people several times after a loved one committed suicide. A clouded or confused mind may see suicide as the only way out, although it is never the right option, but it is never easy reconcile for the people left behind. I believe one of my dearest pastor friends died of a broken heart after his son committed suicide. Sadly, suicide appears to be on the rise. Our local paper reported this week (see article HERE) that our state has been awarded $1.4 million to aid in suicide prevention.

Suicide sucks!

This post is not aimed for those who have ever considered suicide…

If you are at all thinking of taking your life…STOP and call for help NOW!!!

This post is for those who are victims of knowing someone who has taken his or her life…

One of the things I hear after a suicide breaks my heart. Families are often left wondering what happened to their loved one. Well-meaning people often repeat something they’ve heard before…that friends and family members who commit suicide are destined to be separated from Jesus the rest of their lives. They assume that suicide is the unforgivable sin. I’ve encountered people who struggle for years with the thoughts that their loved one died apart from Jesus. The only problem with that assumption is that I can’t prove it in the Bible.

Yes, suicide is a sin.

Murder is a sin…taking a life is a sin…suicide is a sin…

Please don’t resort to that…There is always a better way…

If you are at all thinking of taking your life…STOP and call for help NOW!!!

But, suicide is NOT the unforgivable sin.

The grace of Jesus Christ is sufficient even for this sin…

I’m fully convinced there will be brothers and sisters in Christ who are in Heaven, who were experiencing terrible trials…who felt trapped or helpless…who made a bad decision…who took their life…but fully believed that Jesus was the only answer for salvation.

Jesus describes the unforgivable sin in Matthew 12:22-32. It says nothing about suicide.

I know this is a delicate issue. You might read THIS POST or THIS POST I found which addresses this issue in better detail.

I’m praying for those struggling with this issue as I post this…