Do you ever have days when you just don’t want to get out of bed?

I’m not talking about the days you wake up and wish you could hit the snooze button a few more times. I’m not referring to days when you didn’t get enough sleep because you stayed up too late watching David Letterman. Those days are normal. For some they happen everyday.

I’m talking about the days when you don’t want to get out of bed, because you don’t think you can face the world outside the covers. I’m talking about days when it hurts to think about facing life.

Do you ever have days like that?

Perhaps you’re like me, and you’ve had seasons where facing the day seems unbearable. It can last a day, a week, or months at a time. I’ve spoken about this before, but I went through a mini-depression a few years ago. My boys were leaving home, my father and Cheryl’s father died, and the stress of ministry was greater than ever. Some days it was all I could do to put on my pastor smile and keep going.

At times, the stress of life can cause a person to wish they didn’t have to face another day. In a world of constant changes, uncertainty, fear, trials and steady burnout, keeping your chin up and continuing to smile can often be a challenge. Has that ever been your story?

I wish we were better as a church and a society of realizing those times are natural, allowing people to be honest about them, and helping people through them rather than looking down on them because of their inner struggles. Even godly, people of extreme faith have times when they fell all is hopeless. (Read about Elijah and Paul for a couple of good Biblical examples.)

What do you do on days like that?

After years of experience, both personal and walking with others, here are a few suggestions for those times:

Get up and do something – No, you may not feel like it, but doing nothing during times of depression, mild or otherwise, almost never solves the problem. You may not be able to do what you need to do, and you certainly may need rest, but continuing a vegetative state of existence is not the right answer. Discipline yourself to get out of bed, be around people, and stay active.

Do the best you know how today – You may not be at 100%. You may only be 20% today. Okay, perhaps you only have 1% to give today. That’s okay. Give that. Do the best you can do today and don’t feel guilty about not doing all you normally would do. My guess is there’s probably something you can still do that will bring value to the people around you…yet another reason to get out of bed.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help – This may mean professional help and don’t be ashamed of that. Most of us need professional counseling at some point in our life. But, also soak up energy from others for a season. It’s okay to need others. In fact, that’s one primary purpose of the body of Christ. We are to bear with one another during tougher times of life. Chances are you’ve been there for others when they needed help. Now let others be there for you. (Note: Relying on others should not be an excuse to ignore the other principles here. You still have personal responsibilities and ignoring them will not help you, but only enable you to continue in your current condition.)

Prepare and build – This is a time to practice healthy discipline, get consistent rest, exercise, eat healthfully, and prepare mentally and physically for a day when you feel better about your surroundings. Watch for the healing moments, the days when a smile comes easier and for the door of opportunities to open, which encourage you. Those are good days and you should be even more productive on those days. You’ll be able to celebrate your progress and, when repeated over time, it will help lift your spirits. God does heal when we submit our pain to Him. In these seasons, you’ll also learn to recognize the signs that a period like this is coming again. Store up that wisdom and experience to help others and yourself in other similar seasons of life.

Wait and listen – God will use these times of desperation to build you more into His heart and character. This should be a time of constant prayer, crying out to God for help. Many of the Psalms were written during times like this in the Psalmist’s life. Read a few of them. Don’t make drastic decisions during these days as you wait for God to speak clearly again.

Have you been there?

You may now want to read my post “God WILL Allow More Than You Can Bear“.

Have you ever wished you could stay in bed and not face another day? Are you there now?

What steps have you taken to heal from times like these? What or who helped you the most?

Share your story so it will help others.

I travel frequently, so I’ve mostly tuned out the safety routines at the beginning of the flight. One line, however, always causes me to pause and think. Have you heard this before?

In case there is a loss in cabin pressure, yellow oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment located above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it so it covers your mouth and nose. Breathe normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others.

I’ve highlighted the part that causes me to reflect.

Breathe Normally.

Yea, right!

If I’m on an airplane, and oxygen masks are necessary, I’ll not be breathing normally. I may still be breathing, but it won’t be normal. I’ll be breathing heavily…very heavily…if at all. I’ll be gasping for air even if the supply of air is plenty.

It’s a great reminder to me. In times of tremendous stress or pressure, I shouldn’t expect to feel normal. I shouldn’t expect to feel completely natural when life makes no sense. I can’t breathe normally, because nothing is normal about life as I currently know it.

What should I do during times like this?

Find my center of gravity – I have to find my grounding again. When life is in chaos, it’s important to cling to what makes sense. Obviously, my relationship with Christ is premier here. The more I can base my life on truth, the more naturally I can breathe.

Surround myself with the right people – Let’s face it; some people are encouragers and some are not. When you’re having trouble breathing anyway, why surround yourself with people who suck the life out of you? Find people who encourage and build you up and cling to them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; even professional help if needed.

Look for small wins – Even on the darkest days of life, there’s probably something you can celebrate. Look for the moments, experiences and memories you can praise. Try something again and rejoice in the minor victories. The road to further success begins with small steps taken repeatedly can consistently.

What do you do when you can’t breathe normally?

I’ve written about airplane oxygen masks before, and applied this script to leadership. Read that post HERE.

The Lord visited Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as he had promised. Genesis 21:1

It made no sense.

Sarah was too old.

Everyone was laughing.

They had tried to “help God out”.

But, God did as God promised to do.

In spite of the circumstance.

In spite of the irrationality of the situation.

In spite of those who said it couldn’t be done.

In spite of how long it seemed to be taking.

Sarah delivered a son, even in her very old age.

Don’t discount God because of your circumstances.

God is going to do what God chooses to do. He keeps His promises.

Where in your life are you waiting for God?

I command you…be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

As I read the Scripture, I see little room for the follower of Christ to be afraid (except for the fear of God).

Perplexed; yes. Confused; sometimes. Overwhelmed; often. Angry; when necessary. Distressed; possibly.

Yes, I fully agree, just the fact that the command is there does not mean we will always follow it. Quite the contrary; I have been afraid many times. I fight the worry battle like all the rest. Wasn’t it David, the man after God’s own heart, who said that “when I am afraid, I will trust in you”? Sounds like he may have struggled with fear also.

Still, the Bible is consistent, and it consistently reminds us not to allow fear to captivate our lives. Obviously, when God first gave this command to Joshua, being an all knowing God, He knew that Joshua was about to encounter some pretty scary days. No doubt the enemies of Joshua had ample opportunity to attempt to make him squirm.

Today God knows there will be times that cause fear to be our primary emotion. He sees the trouble before it comes. It was He who MADE the disciples get into the boat and face the raging sea. It is He who allows the storms in our lives to come.

God knows there is plenty in life to make us afraid. Still, the challenge remains, and the command remains to not be afraid! And, in those moments, God know we will need to rely on His strength being perfect when our strength is none.

How are you doing these days obeying the command of God to not be afraid?

Call on the Lord today and ask Him to help you overcome your fears!

When I started in the insurance business, I made hundreds of cold calls. I got accustomed to rejection. It still hurt sometimes, but I learned it was a natural part of successful selling.

No one likes rejection.

Your proposal. Your product. Your presentation.

You love it. You believe in it. You want it to go forward. How could anyone reject what you’ve put your heart into?

It’s difficult not to take rejection personal, but it should be understood that rejection isn’t always personal.

Next time you face rejection, consider these questions:

Is it true? – Many times rejection has no basis of truth. People may reject because of their own misunderstandings or their unwillingness to accept something new. If you are selling a product, they may not want what you have to sell. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have a poor  product, only that it doesn’t match their needs.

Is it about you? -  If it’s personal rejection then that’s one thing, but if it’s rejection of something you only represent then it should be viewed differently; not taken personally. That goes for a product you sell or a Gospel you tell. If someone rejects the Gospel they aren’t rejecting you a much as they are God. Let Him deal with that. (If it is about you, refer to some of these other questions.)

Is it from a source that matters? – You aren’t called to minister to everyone. A mentor once told me to find my affirmation among the people God sent me to minister to. Great advice.

Is it permanent? - Sometimes people say no many times before they say yes. Persistence often makes the difference with great salespeople. No one likes a pest either, but don’t be quick to dismiss an opportunity that may still be there.

Is it changeable? – Did the rejection have more to do with the presentation than the product? Perhaps there  is a better way to make your case. Maybe this is a learning experience for future presentations. Rejection can be a great teaching tool. Learn from it.

Add to this post. Give me an example  of a time you felt rejection. How did you deal with it?

What do you do when life is uncertain?

Trust – God has a plan even when you can’t discern it. Faith is being certain when life is uncertain; believing when you cannot see. It’s much harder to worry when you are trusting. Psalm 56:3, Proverbs 3:5, Jeremiah 17:7

Pray – Ask God for discernment and clarity, but also for patience. Keep talking and listening. Jeremiah 29:12, Mark 14:38, 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Wait – God will reveal Himself in due time. Our job is to be still. Psalm 27:14, Psalm 46:10

Act – Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means acting on only what you’ve been given instructions to do. That’s usually plenty to keep us busy. 1 Kings 2:6a, Isaiah 52:13, 1 Corinthians 16:13, Colossians 3:23

Are you in a time of uncertainty?

Which of these is proving most difficult for you right now?

Which do you most need to do?

Worry is like a plague of our body. It attacks our mind, then our heart, and over time, it can consume our overall health. Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life.” How good are you at obeying that verse?

One part of maturing as believers is to begin to eliminate worry from our life. I’m not claiming we ever get there, but as we grow we should, over the years, worry less.

Here are 5 steps to having less worry:

Pray more – It’s a trade-off. You can never do both at the same time. Which would you rather do?

Do wise things – You’ll have less to worry about.

Read more – Of course, I’d recommend the Bible first, but read things that speak of truth. Fill your mind with good things. It will crowd out the bad things.

Choose your thoughts carefully – Why worry about what you can’t control? Think on things you can control, rather than things you can’t. (For a sermon on doing this, click HERE.)

Trust more – Step up your faith. God is on His throne, He has a plan, and He will do what is best. Every time!

Be honest: Are you a worrier?

Recently I posted 10 Lies Men Believe. As expected, whenever I post about men the women ask when I’m doing a companion post. Several women said they often believe the same lies as the men. I don’t doubt that. Some men will believe some of the lies in this list also.

Let me make this clear. I am not a woman. If you weren’t sure, now you know.

In my role as a pastor and counselor, however, I have observed the differences in men and women for years. It does appear to me that the most common lies we believe…at least the ones the enemy uses against us most often…are often different. Again, these are by observation only.

Here are 10 lies women often believe:

I will never let someone hurt me again

I can depend on this guy to meet all my needs

I think everyone is talking about me

I’m not as beautiful as she is

I can’t do that even if I try

I must do ________, so I’ll be loved

I won’t let it hurt my feelings

I’m not good enough for him

I’ll never recover from that mistake

I know this guy would never disappoint me

I continually encounter women who have been emotionally injured or heart-crippled, because they are believing lies fed by the world, broken dreams or misplaced full devotion. The only way out of a lie is with truth. You might begin by reading Psalm 139:14, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 4:8, 1 Samuel 16:7 or Proverbs 31:30.

But, since I’m not a woman…

What do you think? What other lies do women believe? Perhaps some women will educate me now

I sat with a man recently. He’s lost his job, can’t find another and it’s having an impact on his marriage. I quickly diagnosed his real problem. Not that I’m an expert in diagnosing problems, but I’ve seen this one many times and his language made it clear.

He said things like, “I used to be able to…” and “I don’t think I’ll ever…”. It seemed clear to me, so I took a chance and told him my theory. He was believing a lie.

If you’re a man, at some point, you’ve probably believed one of these lies:

I will fail if I try

I don’t measure up

I am not as good as he is

I don’t have what it takes

I can’t win

I can do this and no one will know

I can’t be honest about that

I’m the only one who has ever struggled with this

I can’t recover from that

I can’t be the spiritual leader of my home

If you’ve been hit with a setback, if you are licking your wounds from a failure, if you simply can’t find your way right now, you may be allowing the enemy, the world or your own mind to feed you some lies.

One way out of the “funk” may be to insert some truth into your life. (Look up these verses as a start: Philippians 4:13, Joshua 1:9, 1 John 4:4, Psalm 121:1.)

Which of the above lies are you currently believing?

You might also read the companion post, 10 Lies Women Believe.

Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Mark 4:38 NIV

I have been told that the stern is the strongest part of the boat. The Creator of the universe was asleep there. The One who made the waters and was there when the waters were parted; who led Moses as Moses led the people through on dry ground had His head on a cushion. The One who walked with three guys in the fiery furnace, in all of His current humanity had decided He needed some rest. The disciples apparently lost sight of the fact that, Jesus was not only human, and He was also fully God.

I am reminded that I forget the same thing at times. Have you ever felt like the disciples felt? Have you ever wondered if Jesus cared? Has the thought crossed your mind that Jesus may not even be aware of your current situation? Have you thought, “Jesus, I see my problems, don’t you?” Or maybe, if you are honest, have felt something like, “Jesus, don’t you care?”

Of course, our spiritual piety would never allow us to admit our weakness in this area fully. Could I as a pastor really admit that I doubted His love? Could you? Yet if I am honest, sometimes from my perspective, it appears that Jesus is nowhere to be found and I am left all alone to wallow in my sorrows. Just saying….

I think the best thing we can possibly do in those situations is to be like the disciples and admit our frailty to God. When we get gut honest with Him about our insufficiencies, perhaps He will be willing to do what only He can do.

Do you need to have an honest conversation with Jesus today?

(This is a repost. Someone found it online in the archives. Sometimes I like to bring them forward, since my readership has tripled since this first appeared and half my readers do so by email.)