The 5th Type of Mentor

I’m updating a post. Yesterday I posted 4 types of mentors. Read it HERE (updated of course). I can’t believe I missed one…or that no one else caught my obvious error.

I grew up without a close relationship with my father. I missed the investment a father makes in the life of his son. As a result, I’ve tried my best to invest in my sons, but I guess because it wasn’t a great part of my story I missed it.

There is another kind of mentor.

The 5th type of mentor is:

Relational - It’s probably the best kind. It’s the way I am with my two boys. They can call me anytime for advice. They can get through my crazy schedule when no one else (except Cheryl) can. They hold my heart and my desire for their personal success in their hand. I mentored them because they are part of me. A relational mentor relationship happens with someone to whom you are related. It’s the most Biblical kind of mentoring. I hope it’s been a part of your life.

Isn’t that the best kind of mentor?

Do you have a relational mentor in your life? Share that with me here. I promise I’ll be encouraged!

Let’s Talk Mentoring

I have had mentors in my life since I was in my early twenties. These men have added so much to the quality of my life. I can’t imagine doing life without them. Mentoring is certainly not a new concept, but it seems to be talked about more recently than I’ve heard in some time. People, maybe especially men, are looking for someone to invest in them and help them find their way.

This week alone I’ve had half a dozen conversations regarding mentoring, either personally or with someone on Twitter. It’s certainly an issue on my mind more recently. I shared some of that with you in THIS POST. I also recently wrote about one of the new mentors in my life HERE.

I’m currently playing with some ideas, perhaps a resource or two, considering what I can do to engage in this process and help with this need.

Will you help me think through this issue?

Let’s talk mentoring today.

First, take 5 minutes and complete my 10 question survey on mentoring HERE. (Your responses are completely confidential.)

Second, leave a comment on this post (so everyone can see) if you know of any good mentoring resources.

Third, please share this post with your friends online (or the survey link http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/75Z7ZBL ) so we can get some good discussion going on this important topic.

Thank you for your participation. Hopefully more to come!

He Who Loves You, Watches Over You

One of the greatest feelings as a parent has to be watching your children sleep….

Knowing they are safe….resting…under your care…

I never got tired of knowing my boys were safe in their beds at night. It was a great time of day.

I wonder if God feels that way…

I wonder if God gets a charge out of watching over His children as they sleep…

I wonder if He smiles when He sees a child drift into dream land…

I’m reminded of these verses:

“He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” (Psalm 121:3-4)

When you are sound asleep, God is on watch…like a proud dad!

As you go to bed tonight, capture the moment, imagine the emotion God has as He watches His child fall asleep.

My Current Heart Stirrings: Men’s Ministry

I did men’s ministry for many years before I went into vocational ministry. Recently I felt led to address the young men in our church. One Saturday morning, I invited men aged 35 and under to join me as I shared some thoughts with them. Basically I said to them what I wish had been said to me at that age. The response from the guys who attended has been amazing. They want more.

In the process of planning and praying for this event, God did something to my heart. I’m still processing all that means, but I know it involves being more intentional addressing concerns I see as a need for more godly men to lead in their homes, communities and churches.

This week I received this email. (Some details are omitted to protect the identity, although this email is one of dozens like it I receive each year.)

Hi, my wife and I attend your church regularly. My wife feels like I need to be more of a spiritual leader. I wanted to get your advice on what I should do as a husband to be more of a spiritual leader in my marriage and what it looks like. Thank you for your time.

Pastor, how would you answer that question?

God is placing a huge passion and burden on my heart for men, specifically young men who desire to be godly, but aren’t sure where to start. I’ve seldom met a man who didn’t want to do the right things, but I’ve met many who didn’t know how to get there. Mentoring and discipleship resources for men are rare compared to what’s available for women.

In the coming weeks and months, I’m going to spend more time addressing this issue here and in other venues. I’m even praying about a bigger opportunity to address this need. I don’t know what’s next completely, but I know when I stand before my God I want to have been faithful to His call.

Am I on the right track? Help me process this need and opportunity.

Men, be honest, do you need some help in this area of your life? Are you struggling in your roles as a man?

Women, what about your take on this issue? Do men need help learning to be godly men?

What are the best resources right now addressing this issue?

I’d love your input as it helps confirm and fuel my heart and thoughts.

Make Sure You Have at Least One of These…

Make sure you have at least one person in your life…

…Who is willing to say the hard things you don’t want to hear but need to hear…

  • Someone you trust…
  • Someone who knows you…
  • Someone with wisdom…
  • Someone who loves you…

Willing to tell you the truth…

It could save you, your marriage, and possibly your life…

Do you have someone like that in your life?

The Danger of the Mundane…And How to Fight It…

A danger exists in completing the routine tasks you have to do…

  • Routine assignments at work…
  • Routines in relationships…
  • Routines in physical activities…
  • Routines in daily quiet times…
  • Routines in weekly calendaring…

I call it the danger of the mundane…

The things we always do, things that we do everyday, as good as those things may be, can become so routine that they begin to be seen as more of a drag than a pleasure. If one is not careful, the routine becomes the only. our whole world becomes scheduled and predictable. I see couples struggle with this in their marriage and individuals in their careers. It’s common…even routine.

Some of the dangers of the mundane include:

  • You stifle creativity
  • You get bored
  • You remain unchallenged
  • You leave the best things undiscovered
  • You take blessings and other people for granted

Here are some ways you can fight the danger of the mundane:

  • Discipline time to dream
  • Find new ways to do old things
  • Rotate the schedule of when you do routine things
  • Delegate routine tasks if possible
  • Trade routine tasks with others…cross train for another position…
  • Be willing to try something new…
  • Always try to have some change in your life…

Have you ever faced the danger of the mundane? How did you fight this danger?

For further reading, you can see one way my wife and I addressed this danger in our marriage HERE.

Vacation Preferences

We are on a few days vacation this week. We came with another couple to the San Francisco area. Cheryl and I have traveled extensively, and we’ve been to California, but never to this part of the state. Even only after our first full day we love this place! It was a gorgeous day and we explored the famous Lombard Street, Fisherman’s Wharf, and walked every inch of Alcatraz today. In addition, I ran 6 miles along the bay this morning. We came back to our hotel exhausted.

This is not an atypical day for Cheryl and me on vacation. On every vacation we are never still, seeing everything we can in the time we are away, and we often go home more tired than when we left. That’s how we do “vacation”.

How do you do it?

Join my quick post today and tell me how you spend vacation.

Do you:

  • Never slow down and see everything you can?
  • Do nothing you don’t have to do and simply relax?
  • Does it depend on the location and type vacation?

BTW, just to thank you for reading my blog and bothering to comment, I’ll draw one commenter randomly to win a copy of my devotional, book, Mustard Seed Thoughts.

What It’s Like to Be a Dad…12 Reasons I Love Being One

I love being a dad. I really do. It’s one of my favorite things about life.

Here are 12 reasons:

  • I get to cheer from the sidelines…
  • I get to see my legacy live through others…
  • I get to keep growing so they can watch me grow…
  • I get to watch boys become men…
  • I get to share wisdom and experience…
  • I get to be two boy’s biggest fan…
  • I get to share stories with others about my boys…
  • I get to receive encouragement to stay young-minded…
  • I get to anticipate daily texts, emails, and phone calls…(or iChats…)
  • I get to enjoy my new daughter (Thanks for marrying Jeremy! Let’s update the family pic!…)
  • I get to be continually challenged as I learn from my boys…
  • I get to point my boys to Christ…

Add to this post:

Any dads out there today? What do you like about being one?

Are you missing your dad today? What’s one great thing about him?

Have you thanked your Heavenly dad today? What’s one thing you’re thankful for?

Happy Father’s Day!

Father’s Day Inspiration

I realize it’s not a modern song, and the graphics may seem cheesy, perhaps even the song to some, but I raised my boys on this song. Well, I didn’t actually raise them with it, but it did have a huge impact on my heart. Music always speaks to me and this songs lyrics challenged my fathering when I was a young father. This song captured the essence of who I wanted to be as a dad. I could still cry by listening to it today.

What is your greatest desire as a father? Be honest. Are you living a life to reach that desire? Be honest.

This is a great weekend to spend some time evaluating your role as a dad.

Is there a song that challenges you to be a better husband or father?

Happy Father’s Day, BTW!