I previously wrote A Secret Your Husband Needs You to Know (But Won’t Tell You)

Here’s another truth about men they may not (probably won’t) tell you:

Men need and want the approval of a family more than from anywhere else…

• More than from a career…
• More than from a hobby…
• More than from greatness in civic or political accomplishments…
• More than from friends…

In fact…

Most of the energy they are spending competing against other men to achieve success in those areas is in an attempt to gain this approval…

And the saddest thing…

Many times men don’t even realize this is true about them until it’s too late to receive it…

(You can help them out…give it to them early…before they get old and start to ask for it…they will do anything to keep it…)

What other secrets have you learned about men?

 
According to my official survey, the all time favorite Sesame Street character is:

Drum roll please….

 

Ernie with 22%
Cookie Monster with 19%
Grover with 15%

I’m kind of sad Mumford the Magician got none. I like him. Actually this is not a very statistically verifiable survey. I had just under 100 respondents, which is about 25% of my daily readership. I guess most of my readers are not too concerned about Sesame Street.

I think, however, that there are lessons to be learned from their 40 years of generating an audience and accomplishing their vision.

Read my previous Happy Birthday post HERE.

Do you love Sesame Street? If not, what is your preferred children’s educational show?

I have two of the most awesome boys. They love their dad (or at least I guess they do) and continue to respect me and solicit my opinion on life decisions. For my thoughts on them, read THIS POST and THIS POST.

This Father’s Day they gave me an incredible gift from the money they earned this summer. They chipped in together and gave me an Amazon gift certificate to buy a Kindle. If you are not familiar with my new toy, a Kindle is a book reader that can store hundreds of books on it. The books are usually less expensive. Since I read multiple books at a time, this allows me to always have the books I am reading with me.

I put off buying one for several months, because I couldn’t decide between the small or the large version. My friend Wayne Hastings with Thomas Nelson had his out one day and when I held the smaller one in my hand I knew that was the one I wanted. I ordered it that night and have loved using it.

If you read a lot of books I highly recommend you consider a Kindle. Christmas is coming you know!

Do you have a Kindle? Do you think you would like one?

Happy birthday Sesame Street!

On November 10, 2009, the longest running children’s television show will be 40 years old.   You can read more about it HERE.  The fictional neighborhood characters have been engaging and teaching children most of my life.  I was 5 years old when Sesame Street hit our black and white, rabbit-eared television for the first time.  For a compilation news coverage from multiple sources to detail the history and evolution of the show and examining how these changes have affected the relevance of the show, click HERE.

What I love about this program is that in spite of competition from other shows and other things that draw kid’s attention, Sesame Street isn’t giving up their vision that if you capture the child’s mind you can teach them has never changed. The also have a great, fun website for children of all ages.  Click HERE for that link.

Today they are revamping some of their format, but their desire is ultimately to achieve the same results.

Just for fun, play along with me and tell me who your favorite character of all time is from Sesame Street.  I’ve created a fast, two question survey.

Click on this sentence to be taken to the survey. (I will share the results soon, so answer quickly please.)

Did you watch Sesame Street when you were younger?  Do you watch it today?  Do your kids?

For more thoughts about parenting click HERE.

Young parents will often remind me of a parenting phenomenon that I experienced firsthand.  Perhaps you did also. My friend is living through her first “terrible threes”.   She has a three year old trying her patience.  As with so many others (most it seems), it’s not the “terrible twos” that is a problem…it’s the “terrible threes”.

It goes something like this:  One day your precious angel; the one everyone thinks is so cute, who was hardly ever a problem before, suddenly becomes a holy terror at times.   You have never dealt with such temper tantrums, back-talking sassiness, and outbursts of anger.  You may have entered the terrible threes.

Children cycle through many phases and it shouldn’t be too surprising if they go through a rebellious stage early in life.   The terrible threes, or twos, as the case may be, most likely is the time when the child most openly expresses his or her independence.  The more independent the child, the more difficult this time can be.

He or she is exploring a new world, testing boundaries, discovering their own personality, and filtering through reactions of others.  As with other phases the child will experience, this one is difficult for the child as well as the parent, but in this phase the child is the least mature and their reaction is likewise.

Here is my advice for surviving the terrible threes:

Suffer through it! Most likely, it will not last long,, perhaps not even a whole year, and there is hope on the other side.

Be consistent - This is not the time to give in to the child’s outbursts. This is the time to consistently follow through with prescribed discipline.

Keep loving -  As much as your child tries your patience, continue to always exhibit love to your child, even during discipline.

Experiment – Use different discipline methods until you find one that works for this stage of the child’s life.

Remember you are the adult – Sometimes when the child is showing his or her worse side it is tempting to show yours.  Keep your cool. Be mature.  Handle these days firmly, but calmly.  Remember you are modeling behavior for your child.

Teach your child – This phase can be a great opportunity to teach your child how to respond to disappointment and frustration.

Don’t be afraid to share your situation with others. Often parents are embarrassed because of their children’s behavior during this stage of life so they hide the struggle; not realizing that so many other parents experience the same with their children.  The biggest surprise at this stage of your child’s life may be when you discover you are not unique in this struggle.

By the way, these work in most other phases of a child’s life also.

For more help with parenting issues, see these POSTS.  I would especially recommend my parenting model.  Read it HERE. :

What’s your story?  If you are a parent, did you experience more of the terrible twos or the terrible threes?

Adam Bayne is out new children’s pastor at Grace Community Church.  He’s a nut and has added a whole new element to our staff.  Check out his latest video he’s using to inspire children to love church. Crazy!  (Adam’s the pirate BTW.) Keep in mind, the point of this is to gain children’s interest so they will listen to what we ultimately want to teach them. Guess what? It works.

This Sunday night, (September 20th) Cross Street Live will launch for the 2009-2010 season.  This is an opportunity for the community to come together for a family worship experience. The fun begins at 5:30 in the auditorium of Rossview High School. Cross Street Live is a high energy, professionally designed and managed value-teaching night of fun for children and adults of all ages. For more information, click HERE. Also, watch this preview:

It has been a couple weeks since I dropped our youngest son Nate off at college.  He is attending Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.  Our oldest son is a senior at Austin Peay State University and is living at home to save money this year.  Nate is our first to change cities of residence and he is 8 hours from home.  In the process of him leaving I have learned a few things:

1. It was much harder than I thought letting go. My counseling background tells me I began a mini-depression about a month before he left and I’m just now beginning to see light again.
2. I prepared my boy, but not my emotions.  I am a fairly unemotional person.  Not the day I said “Goodbye” or the week following.  I was an emotional wreck. Thankfully, Nate is very mature and is going to do great with his independence.
3. It will never be the same, but it can be better…at least in some ways.  I miss seeing Nate terribly, but our talks are even more open and honest than when he was here.
4. I can’t wait for his calls/texts/emails.  There is a charge in my spirit when I look down at my phone and see that it is Nate.
5. It is a new phase of life for Cheryl and me.  Our parenting is not over, but our role is changing. We are beginning to make some new dreams, just for the two of us.

I posted more about this process in my letter to Nate.  You can read that post HERE.  For some things I have learned in parenting, see this CATEGORY.

Parents, tell me about your experience letting your children go.

On the contrary, it is to be a witness between us and you and the generations that follow, that we will worship the LORD at His sanctuary with our burnt offerings, sacrifices and fellowship offerings. Then in the future your descendants will not be able to say to ours, ‘You have no share in the LORD.’ Joshua 22:27 NIV

What is your legacy? There is an old song Christian artist Steve Green sang called “Find us Faithful”. A line in the song says, “When your children sift through all you’ve left behind, will the memories they uncover…?” I recall hearing that song when my boys were young and I was always convicted! I was concerned about the memories I would leave behind for my boys.
Nate, our youngest boy, was often morbid with his childhood thoughts. When I travel out of town he would often ask, “Daddy, what will happen if the plane crashes?” To which I would reply, “Well son, I suppose I’ll probably die.” (I didn’t say that, but I was tempted to sometimes.) The funny thing though was that he wasn’t asking about my death as much as he was asking about his future. He was asking what he was to do without me. It was morbid, but it was a fair question.

What are those who come behind you to do when you are gone? What kind of legacy are you leaving them?  Since children are likely to follow in our footsteps, what footsteps are you setting for them? They often repeat the same mistakes we make. They often experience similar success. What kind of life are you living for them to follow?

Let me ask you an even more direct question: Would you want them to live the life you are living right now, or do you want more for them?  If you aren’t pleased with the answer, start living a different life before them today!

Nate (formerly known as Nathaniel), you have been a soul mate to me since you were very little. We are so much alike that it scares me for you sometimes. Yesterday was the longest ride of my life after dropping you off at college. This past week has been an emotional roller coaster. I am so excited that your dream of being at Moody has come true, but the thought of you being so far away and not seeing you everyday is overwhelming to me. You kept telling me “thanks for everything” the last few days. Son, if only you knew how much value you add to my life in so many ways. No thanks are necessary.

This letter will attempt to communicate to you clearly things I hope I have said to you over the years, but never want you to forget.

• There will never be anyone in your corner more than me.
• You are awesome. I am your biggest fan.
• At such a young age you have so much insight into life, leadership, church-life, and relationships. Use it well for the Kingdom.
• I will try to let you go, but honestly it is proving to be one of the hardest things I have done in my life.
• I am always here for you. You cannot interrupt me, because you are a part of me.
• I look forward to seeing you grow and be the man God wants you to be.
• Your passion for life and Christ is contagious.
• I hope you always make better decisions than I have at times.
• I pray you are determined to take risks, dream big, and trust God even more than I was.
• I will miss most our random conversations about tackling the world’s problems and our belly laughs at things no one else would understand.
• You have more potential than you even realize, but thanks for being so humble.
• Feel free to keep asking me to pray for you, but the request is granted long before it is made.  (You can just give me specifics.)
• My greatest wish for you, as it always has been, is that you will continue to love Jesus with all your heart.
• We named you well.  You truly are a “gift of God”.

You have my number. I am just a phone call (or text) away.

I love you buddy!

Dad (Pops)

P.S. Love your blog!  (nateedmondson.com)