The larger our church gets the more I have to say no…

It’s become a necessity…

To maintain my health, the health of my family and the church, I have to discipline myself to say no more often…

No I can’t counsel you, but I can refer you to someone….

No I can’t do your wedding, but I know someone who can…

No I can’t meet with you today, but we can look at something next week…

No I can’t answer that question, but I know where we can get an answer…

No I won’t be at your dinner party, but I’m certain it would have been a blast…

It’s not that I wouldn’t rather say yes…

It’s an “easier” answer at the time…

It certainly pleases more people…

But….

In order for me to do an adequate job at the things I must do such as leading and developing staff, preaching and vision casting I have to say no to things I might wish to do, but simply can’t…

I wonder if this isn’t necessary for pastors regardless of the church size…

If you’re not saying no to anything is your yes even worth as much these days…

Are you truly able to do a descent job with all the demands on your time?

Pastors, is it difficult for you to say no?

Are you offended if you pastor has to say no to your request?

This is a random Sunday afternoon post…

I want to encourage us to have a great week this next week…

I believe and strive for continual improvement…

In my experience, this happens best when we make intentional changes…

That’s the point of this post…

This next week, I want to encourage…challenge…even dare you to make an intentional change to improve something in your life…

I’ll go first…

This week, I plan to pray more specifically…

I frequently use a prayer list, but I seldom follow it…

This week I want that to change…

Now your turn…

It can be anything…about any subject…just so it’s an intentional change to improve your life…

What intentional change are you going to make this week to make things better in your life?

GO!

I got to thinking this week…the life of a Tweet is so short…

It’s there a few minutes…then gone forever…

I decided that sharing them here gives them more life.

Here are my top 10, most re-tweeted, tweets this week:

• Don’t mistake what you cannot understand for what cannot be true.
• The view from “the top of the world” is even more glorious when you’ve had a perspective from the bottom
• Truly broken people have the advantage of always being able to look up & aim higher.
• Every time you push through a fear you gain more confidence & grow your faith
• What if we only had to forgive others one less time than God has forgiven us? Would anyone be left unforgiven?
• You’ve got less chance failing if you do nothing…but you’ll accomplish nothing, have no fun, miss the excitement, be boring…etc
• Don’t confuse a short-term setback with a long-term failure….
• Owing a debt you cannot pay requires a penalty or a pardon.
• The world would be a better place if we were less concerned about getting even and more concerned about granting pardon
• Sometimes hidden in your greatest fear is an opportunity for God to display His greatest glory.

Which of these would you re-Tweet?

Are you on Twitter? Share your Twitter name here so my readers to follow you.

For the next several weeks, the memory verse will be from Romans, looking at what has been called “The Roman Road”. I am not one who believes it takes a formula to be saved, it takes a change of heart, believing in the One God raised from the dead…Jesus…but sometimes a script can help a person process through what seems to be complex information. That’s what the Roman Road has done for many.

Romans has been described as one comprehensive look at what it means to be a believer; from start to finish. If you study this book well, you’ll have a great understanding of who you are in Christ.

Here is this week’s memory verse:

Some Romans Road scripts will not start with this verse, but I always do. It reminds me why I’m willing to share my faith.

Will you commit to memorizing this Roman Road with me over the next few weeks? It could change someone’s life…perhaps even yours!

I often wonder if the reason we don’t forgive as we should is because we don’t understand the subject well enough.

Yesterday I posted 7 Things that Forgiveness is NOT. It seems appropriate to also post 7 things that forgiveness IS.

Here are 7 things that forgiveness IS:

Letting go of a right to get even – You give up the right for revenge when you forgive someone.

Moving forward – Forgiveness is like saying, “It hurt. I didn’t like it, but I’m moving forward with my life in spite of the pain.”

Dropping resentment and grudge – Forgiveness releases the angst towards the person who did the injury.

A choice – Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s a conscious decision made by the injured party.

A step towards healing – Forgiveness releases a weight from the shoulders of the injured, opening the door for emotions to heal.

An opportunity to display grace – There is no greater picture of God’s forgiveness of us than for us to forgive one another.

The removal of a roadblock – Forgiveness removes the barrier between us and living at peace again with ourselves, others, and God.

I know these are difficult. I know some of the pain runs deep. I can’t describe it for you adequately, but I can tell you that forgiveness IS all it’s claims to be. If you truly want to be free of the hold the injury has on your heart, forgive the one who injured you.

What would you add to my list of 7 things forgiveness IS?

What is the most difficult situation you’ve had to forgive? Do you have a story that could encourage us?

We get confused about what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. Maybe we don’t really know sometimes.

Forgiveness is not an option for the believer. We are to forgive others as we have been forgiven. For most of us (all of us if we will admit it), that’s a whole lot of forgiveness. Understanding forgiveness doesn’t make it easier to forgive, but it does make it more meaningful…perhaps even tolerable…but I believe understanding the process could make us more likely to offer the forgiveness we are commanded to give.

With that in mind, in two posts, I want to share what forgiveness is and what it isn’t.

Here are 7 things forgiveness IS NOT:

Forgetting - When you forgive someone your memory isn’t suddenly wiped clean of the offense. I know God could do that, but it seems that would be the easy way. I suspect God wants forgiveness to be more intentional than that.

Regaining automatic trust - You don’t immediately trust the person who injured you when you forgive them. That wouldn’t even be logical. Trust is earned, and they must earn trust again.

Removal of consequences – Even though you forgive someone, they may still have consequences to face because of their actions.

Ignoring the offense – You don’t have to pretend nothing happened when you forgive. The reality is an offense was made. Acting like it never occurred only builds resentment and anger.

Instant emotional healing – Emotions heal with time. Some pain runs deep and takes longer to heal.

Restoring the same relationship – The relationship may be closer than before or not, but most likely it will never be the same.

A leverage of power – Granting forgiveness does not give a person power over the person being forgiven. That would violate the entire principle and purpose of forgiveness.

Here is the companion post….7 Things that Forgiveness Is… Just a note before you get there: This post may have seemed easy, even freeing, but the next one may be more difficult.

What would you add to my list of things forgiveness is NOT?

Authenticity is a necessary trait for leaders these days…

People are less likely to follow people they don’t feel are transparent or real…

Here’s a word of advice to leaders…

In your attempt to protect your reputation…

Don’t hide your true identity…

The fact is that your painful past and failures…

May be used to heal someone else’s brokenness…

Encourage them to keep trying…

Or, simply help them trust you more…

If you want to protect your reputation…do it with the one you’re shaping for the future…

Your past is your past…you can’t change it now…

Let it be used to help others…

By the way…this advice work for pastors too…

That’s even a Biblical concept…

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

2 Corinthians 1:4

Be honest…do the people you lead know the real you?

How do you ensure transparency in your leadership?

I met with a young man recently who is passionate about growing in his relationship with God, being a better husband and father, becoming more active in the church and community and excelling in his work.

He’s sensing an internal, self-induced tension to do more and be better in each area of his life.

His question to me was basically, how can he balance all the things he wants to do or feels he needs to be doing?

I certainly understood the question. It’s a pressure I’ve experienced many times in my life, especially during certain seasons. In fact, I’m sensing it again as I entered the empty-nester phase of life. I do believe in order to be successful with all the demands a person has, one has to get better personally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and relationally, before we can achieve more but, I think there may be a better answer than that.

I gave him one word of advice that has helped me during those seasons. Perhaps you need to hear this as well.

I challenged him to consider if he was asking the right question.

Instead of asking…

What should I be doing?

Maybe he should be asking…

Who do I want to be?

I have found that when I consider the person I want to be that the actions I need to take to get there become clearer. In fact, many of the actions I may have thought I needed to take, become less important, because they don’t seem to help me become who I say I want to be.

Which question are you or do you most need to be asking?

I want to offer a special niche consulting opportunity

Before I share it, please consider these questions:

• Do you realize the influence you have as a leader and what effect it has on your team or organization?
• How much would it be worth to know the real health of your organizational culture?
• Would knowing ways to improve in your leadership be helpful to you?
• Are you as a leader willing to be vulnerable to find the holes in your leadership?

Let’s face it. Leaders are often the last to hear of a problem on a team. Even the best leaders have blind spots they can’t see, but others see clearly. Wise leaders are open to the input of others, in an attempt to improve personally and assist the team or organization they lead.

One thing that has helped me improve in this area has been annually allowing my team to anonymously evaluate my leadership. You can read about my process HERE.

I learned from my team that my understanding of where we were and they way I was perceived, as a leader, was not always reality. My staff said some hard things to hear, but they were dead-on accurate and by adjusting my leadership to the needs of my team, I’ve become a better leader and my team has become a better team.

I want to help your team do the same.

Here is the deal:

I’m offering a special consulting opportunity for your team and leadership. I will come to your location, conduct an anonymous survey of your people’s perception of your leadership, share the results with you personally, discuss ways for improvement, and then bring the team together to discuss our findings. What I’ve discovered is that many times there are very simple adjustments to be made, better ways to communicate, or things I should be doing differently that I never knew were a problem.

This is not for the weak leader, but if you are confident you want to be a better leader, I believe I can help.

Here’s what I can promise:

• My goal will be to protect the leader and make you better. I am pro-leader. This will be done in a way that honors your leadership.
• You will gain insights into how you lead and learn ways you can improve.
• This will not be as painful as it seems, but the rewards will be noticeable.
• Your people will feel valued and appreciated for you allowing them to speak into your life.
• You will be a better leader if you adjust your leadership according to our findings.

Just curious about this process? Send me a confidential email and let’s talk about the process? I’m limited to 12 clients this year, so act fast now.

One of the most frequent questions I receive is how to hear from God. Yesterday I met with a man trying to discern from God a change in ministry setting. This morning I met with a young man trying to discern God’s voice. Shortly after I hear from an older pastor with the same question. Honestly, I’m not sure why they are asking me…it’s something I’m still learning…but I have thought a great deal about the subject.

Bottom line, there must be some people ready to hear from God. That’s a good thing in my opinion.

If you are trying to hear from God about an issue or just generally, let me share a few things I’ve written previously.

First, let me say that my favorite passage on hearing from God is Isaiah 30:15-21. I once wrote about it HERE.

Here are some other posts. The titles speak for themselves:

How to Hear God’s Voice

How to Hear From God

Jeremiah 18 Series

Are you looking to hear a word from God? What advice would you give?