Business Advice From Mom

Recently I received some great business advice from my mom.  Please understand that my mom is retired from over 40 years of work in the business world, but she is usually not the first person I would think of for business advice.  I mean, she is smart, no doubt about that, but she is my mom.  I go to Warren Buffett for business advice. I go to my mom when I cannot find my recipe for cornbread.  (She makes some killer cornbread by the way.) 

 

A friend of ours, however, has been concerned about losing his job. My mom told me what she has been telling him.  He is a salesperson for a company that is experiencing a considerable decline in sales.  He claims that if the production people could make it faster, he could sell more products. My mom told him to leave his comfortable desk and chair, show an interest in the production people, and, if necessary, learn to help make the product.  Her quote, “You need to make yourself indispensable to the company right now, because desperate times call for desperate measures.” 

 

You know, my mom is right.  Too many times when our organization is suffering we cast blame rather than rally the team.  We throw in the towel rather than work for a solution.  We give up rather than create energy around us.  It is easier to quit sometimes than to weather through the rough periods, but the greatest and sweetest victories come to those who stick it out through the hard times and make it to the other side.

 

Are you discovering tough times? Learn a lesson from my mom.  Desperate times call for desperate measures! 

Sober Reminders

I have a great life.  I have had years of struggles, which have greatly shaped the person I am today, but these days life is fairly calm and I hate to complain even when I am having a “bad” day.  In a church our size, there are always “sober reminders” to keep me grounded.  One would think I would become callous to disappointing news after hearing so much of it each week, but some things will always leave me speechless.  In those times, I learn more about the reality of life.  Other people’s struggles remind me how desperate each of us is for God’s mercy and grace and how incredibly blessed my life is right now.   

 

There are things that no matter how many times I hear them always take me by surprise.  Things like:   

 

  • When I learn a wife is leaving her husband for another man, it reminds me that what we see in couples does not always represent the reality of what takes place in the privacy of their home. 

 

  • When I hear that a young father received an unexpected stage 4 cancer diagnosis, it reminds me that life is fragile and family time has great value. 

 

  • When I sign another military “notification in case of tragedy” form indicating that I have to bring “bad news” should something happen to the solider, it reminds me that others serve our country so that my family and I can be safe and worship freely. 

 

  • When another teenage daughter becomes pregnant, it reminds me how much pressure is on our teens today and how desperately she needs our love and direction for life. 

 

  • When a mother or father loses their job, it reminds me that their biggest concern this Christmas is not what to buy but how will they buy anything.

 

  • When I find out the reason a couple has been married for years, but does not have children is infertility, I am reminded that there is a pain in a couple’s heart that I will never quite understand. 

 

  • When I talk with a family who has lost a child to tragedy, it reminds me that some pain in life never completely goes away. 

 

At Christmastime, “sober reminders” always help me remember that Jesus came to those who are hurting, those down in heart, and those in need of a Savior.  

10 Things I Learned from my First Marathon

marathon1

I completed my first marathon today, the Rocket City Marathon in Huntsville, Alabama.  I registered in September and began a training program that would help me get ready by mid December.  I kept on schedule through my 18-mile run, but then life got crazy and I was not able to run much the last four weeks before the race. I had considered not running, but decided I had worked too hard and so I pressed into it and finished.  The first question I get is “Would I do another one?”  The answer is yes, but I have learned a few things about marathons that I would do differently if I did another one. 

 

1.      If you have to spit every few feet, spit long and hard.  I hit my shirt a few times.

2.      Do not drink 2 cups of coffee and a triple-shot latte’ prior to the race.  It woke me up, but I had to stop at the first six porta-potties. 

3.      The Rocket City Marathon needs more porta-potties.  I waited at least 3 to 5 minutes each time I stopped.

4.      Girls take longer in porta-potties than boys do.

5.      Starting is easier than finishing.  The first four miles make you feel you could run forever.   Do not be deceived.  (Of course, that statement is indicative of a lot of life.)

6.      A little encouragement goes a long way.  One little boy yelling “Keep going” made the difference for me at one point.

7.      Learn to stretch.  I never have and it caused cramps towards the end of the race.  

8.      Cheryl is a great wife.  I would not want to do a marathon without her. 

9.      I get nervous the night before and slightly cranky. 

10.  Nothing beats the feeling of crossing the finish line and knowing the race is over.  At that point, who cares about their time? 

 

If you are looking for a flat course and fun marathon, consider the Huntsville Rocket City Marathon.    I should of course mention that I could not have made this race without God’s help. The last three miles I said “Thank you, God. Thank you, God” over and over again, because there were times I didn’t think I could complete it.  So, Thank you, God. 

Allowing Children to Explore Their Own Faith

I want to encourage you to release your children to explore their own faith.  Okay, that sounds very liberal.  I apologize, but let me explain. I hope your children have a solid faith in the one true Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I would make that a part of daily prayer and intentionally lead them towards that reality for their own life.  The truth, however, is that your children are some day going to question their faith.  At some point in life, most people I know have questioned whether what they have always believed is true. My encouragement is to let some of that process occur while your children still live in your home or under your authority. 

 

With that in mind, here are five quick suggestions to consider to spur a life-long faith and to allow your children to explore their faith:

 

1.      When children are very young, set the stage for them spiritually with what you think is best for them.  For example, if church is important, and I think it is, then do not let a 2 year old determine whether you go to church.  Take them to church on a regular basis so it becomes a natural part of who they are as individuals.

2.      At the same time, let the children’s needs play a part in deciding what church to attend.  As tough as it may be on grandparents not to have their grandchildren in the same church, it would be better to have your children actually love their church experience than to attend somewhere they do not enjoy going. 

3.      Find opportunities to talk about faith and God in non-threatening, everyday environments.  Talk about God should never be limited to “church time”.  Make God part of your normal life.  (He is you know!) Model living a life for Christ in front of your child.

4.      As a child, having been raised in church and heard all the “stories”, attempts to explore his own faith, do not feel the pressure to answer every question they have.  If children are seeking truth, guide them towards the source of truth (God’s Word) and let them explore it for themselves.  This is the only way to make sure your children actually “own” their faith.  When one of my boys was questioning eternal security, for example, I suggested he read the conflicting passages on the subject and encouraged him to reach his own conclusion.  (He did, btw, and landed in the same place I land.) 

5.      Keep the lines of communication open even when your children are questioning what they believe.  I have known so many parents who “freak” when their children express opinions about their faith that are contrary to their parents.  I have never seen this reaction work to their favor.  It usually causes further separation between the child and the parent.  This is where I believe Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.) comes into play.  Parent towards Christ early in your child’s life, release them to explore, keep praying for them and loving them, and the principle in Proverbs is that they will return to their roots in time. 

 

Children are going to question their faith someday.  Any faith worth having involves periods of testing over time.  Chances are good that you questioned your faith at some point.  Allow your children to test their faith in God, but pray it happens while they are still in your home or listening to your counsel so you will be there to help them find their way Home again. 

Fun Trivia about President-elect Obama and Family

Please join me in praying for our new president and his family.  Regardless of your politics, as I have said before, we need to respect the office of president.

 

The more I get to know about the Obama family the more I admire their family values.  I hope they bring these values to the White House and influence our culture. The commitment they have to each other as a couple and to their children is one we can all emulate. 

 

Here’s an interesting link I found with trivia about President-elect Barack Obama and wife Michelle.  Enjoy: Favorites of the Future First Family

Olive Tree Parenting (Growing Children of Character) Part 4

Concluding the series on the parenting model based on the Olive Tree; we are attempting to produce spiritual fruit in our children that will last for generations. You can read the beginning post HERE.  

                                                            

FAITHFULNESS

Children will be as faithful as you are, so in order to see them grow into faithful individuals you will have to model it for them.  Here are some action steps to help the process:  

                

*Be faithful early in their life to what you want them committed to later in life.  If you want them to go to church as adults then take them faithfully as children. 

*If you commit to doing something then do it.  Let your Yes be yes and your No be no.

*Be consistent.  If it is morally wrong today; it is tomorrow. 

*Let them know they can depend on you to do what you said you would do for and with them. 

*Let them find you in your devotion time on a consistent basis.

 

GENTLENESS

The word means “not harsh”.  It doesn’t mean to be a “mealy mouse” and it doesn’t mean to avoid discipline.  It does mean to be gentle; even in your anger.  In John 2, when Jesus went into temple to drive out the money-changers, He first made a whip.  It was a definite and determined response, but it was “gently” planned.  Here are some steps you can take to instill this character trait in your children:

     

*Grant forgiveness easily.  Don’t hold grudges against those who have wronged you. 

*Don’t let your children have to be afraid to come to you about anything, because of the way you may react. 

 *Get down to the children’s level when trying to explain something or in the way you respond to them. 

 *Be available to talk with your children always. 

 *Talk gently to your spouse. 

 *When there is a disagreement in public, such as in a restaurant, it is one thing to defend yourself, but it must be done with gentleness and respect for the other person.   

    

SELF-CONTROL      

 

The opposite here is being undisciplined.  This is an important trait, because it affects all the others.  Here are some action steps to help build self-control into your children: 

      

*Don’t allow temper tantrums.  “Expressing themselves” is not an excuse for unruliness.

*Learn personal disciplines and model them; things such as daily Bible reading, exercise and tithing. 

*Know that sin has consequences and teach that principle to your children.  (Unfortunately you may have to model it also.) 

*Use appropriate discipline for each child.  All children are different. 

*Determine the motive behind the action before disciplining your children. 

 *Provide appropriate tests for them as they mature to see if they can handle a situation.  As they get older grant them more and more trust. 

 

 

The final step in the Olive Tree Parenting Model is to teach your children to abide! In John 15:5 Jesus says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  If our children can learn this skill all these others will become and remain a part of who they are.  

 

I’m praying for your parenting.  If you have suggestions to add to this list, feel free to comment here.  I will appreciate hearing your thoughts on this. 

 

I read lots of great books on parenting when my boys were young.  Some that quickly come to mind and has surely influenced my thoughts here and the way I parented are:

  

 

Dobson, James, Dr. The Strong-Willed Child. Wheation, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. 1978.

Kimmel, Tim. Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right. Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Books. 1993.

Smalley, Gary. The Key to Your Child’s Heart. Dallas: Word Publishing. 1992. 

Olive Tree Parenting (Growing Children of Character) Part 3

Continuing the series on the parenting model based on the Olive Tree; we are attempting to produce spiritual fruit in our children that will last for generations. You can read the beginning post HERE.  

 

Today we see a few more virtues we and some ways to instill them in our children. 

 

 

PATIENCE        

This is a tough one, because it is one of my weak points, but it is a part of the fruit of the Spirit God has encouraged us to have, so here are some actions to help your children have this trait: 

 

*Let them see you waiting patiently. (If my boys or my wife reads this they will be wondering when they will see this in me. Still, I have had to wait for many big picture things in my life many times.  I’ve attempted to do so patiently.) 

*Make children wait sometimes. Children shouldn’t get everything right away and they certainly shouldn’t be able to demand it with temper-tantrums or tears.  One statistic I read says that children today get 90% of everything they want, yet as adults they will get less than 25%.  We are setting them up for failure when we give them everything. 

*Don’t be a complainer. Do everything without complaining or arguing. (Phil 2:14)

*Don’t let your children think they are the center of the universe.  They are not; actually God is.    Encourage them, but don’t crown them kings. 

  

KINDNESS            

Kindness could be defined as “genuine friendliness, helpfulness and generosity”.  Here are some ways to instill kindness in your children: 

 

*Be a giver and not a taker.  Let your children see you giving to others regularly. 

*Never let children see you being unkind to the cashier or waitress. 

*Know your neighbors and actually have concern for them.

*Never allow degrading comments to be made to other family members. 

*Care for the hurting people of the world. 

*Be a regular giver/servant at church. 

   

 GOODNESS

Jesus said “well done good and faithful servant” and “a good tree produces good fruit”.  This is the opposite of bad.  (That makes sense, huh?)  To instill goodness in your children, try this:

  

*Reward good acts towards others. 

*Give extra praise to your children for doing good things. (That’s not buying them a toy. This can be done verbally.) 

*Never let them see parents argue and fight.            

*Demand respect always. They don’t always have to agree, but they should always have to respect. 

* Always declare truthfulness.  Never let them see you telling lies; even “little white lies”.

*Teach prompt obedience.  Don’t let them “think about” obeying you. This is especially true for younger children. 

 

 

I will continue with more traits of spiritual fruit tomorrow. 

Olive Tree Parenting (Growing Children of Character) Part 2

Yesterday I introduced this series of a parenting model called Olive Tree Parenting.  If you need the introduction read it HERE.  

 

Here are some suggestions to help you develop this “fruit” in your children.  To be honest I need to remind you that this is a “model”. That doesn’t mean I was perfect at doing this. Some I did better than others.  The fact is, however, that we seldom hit a target we aren’t aiming for, so make this your goal and you will find it easier to achieve than with no plan at all. 

 

LOVE

Love is the first fruit mentioned and the most important.  Jesus said “love” was the greatest command for us all.  Please understand you can’t really teach your child to love.  You must model it for them.  Here are some actions you can take, however, to instill this fruit in their heart. 

     

*Ask your children questions about their life.  Get to know your child and what they are thinking.  Show you care. 

* Do everything in love…….even discipline.  (They will know when you are not acting in love. You will too.) 

*Discipline.  Don’t neglect discipline in “the name of love”.  Discipline should actually be an indication that you love them enough to train them to do the right thing.   

*Watch how you treat other groups of people; including other races and ethnic groups. 

*Watch your child’s attitude; always recognize attitudes over actions (1 Sam. 16:24) and respond accordingly. 

*Love your children’s friends. 

*Be kind to your neighbors, friends and family.  They are watching. 

*Get involved in church and community not out of compulsion, but because you love other people. 

 

 

JOY   

The goal of producing joy is not to make your children happy.  The Bible makes a distinction between joy and happiness.  (Psalm 68:3)  Here are some actions you can take to instill the fruit of joy in your child’s heart:

 

*Don’t reward everything.  Life should not be a big celebration.  Life shouldn’t revolve around the next big event. 

*Have a sense of humor. Have fun parenting. Let them see you having fun.

*Be positive.  Children can’t take the pressure and stress of life that an adult has to handle.

*Allow your children to enjoy life at the age they are, without trying to make them someone they are not. 

*Life is difficult and there will be trials, but let your children see you use trials as something you learn from and have faith during; trusting that God will work all things for good. 

*Remind yourself to “be joyful always”.  This is another character trait we need to model for them.

         

 

PEACE     

Peace is a foundation for other great character traits you will want your children to have.  The Bible says we can have peace that is there regardless of the storms of life.  I know many adults who would like that kind of peace. You would certainly want that for your children.  It is important to instill peace virtues into your children.  Here are some actions you can take to model peace for your children:

     

*Pray for your children daily in their presence. This shows them the importance of prayer and relying on God for daily strength.      

*Teach them to pray. Jesus taught His disciples to pray.  Help your children understand they can talk with God anytime. They will catch on quickly.  Faith comes much easier when built as a child. 

*Let them see you read your Bible regularly. 

*Talk about your faith.  Peace is found in a relationship and they need to see that modeled for them. 

*Remain cool in stressful situations as best as you can.  It’s okay that they see you emotional, but they should quickly see you display a peace that surpasses understanding.

 

Stay tuned for more character “fruit” trait building activities tomorrow. 

Olive Tree Parenting (Growing Children of Character) Part 1

Every time I write about parenting, people email me asking for more.  I understand.  Parenting is hard work.  Most people who follow my ministry know this is one area of my life that I have taken very serious.  One specific desire Cheryl and I had in raising our children was to encourage them to love Christ and display His character.  It’s great to teach our children how to play sports or to do well in school, and I think we should, but our greatest goal should be to help them be people who aspire to have good character; specifically the character of Christ. 
 
Recognizing that the Bible is a great guide, I once developed a model for parenting called Olive Tree Parenting.  This model is based upon a couple verses of Scripture. 
  
Psalm 128:3 says, “Your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.” 
Psalm 144:12 says, “Our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants.” 
     
Here are a few facts about olive trees:
   
*They were a symbol of peace and happiness to Hebrews.
*It takes some varieties 8-10 years to even bear fruit.
*It takes 20-50 years for an olive tree to be mature and really productive.
*No one knows for sure how long they grow, but estimate is at least 300-600 years, with some estimates up to 2000 years.
*When the tree trunk of an olive tree dies new sprouts come out keeping the tree alive.
*Olive trees are evergreens. 
     
Using the Biblical model of olive trees I saw some easy parallels in raising children.  I firmly believe we are more likely to get out of life what we actually aim for, so our goal became to raise children to be adults that bear righteous fruit for generations and we began to think strategically how to develop Biblical characteristics of fruit in our two boys. 
   
The Bible also gives us some clear indication of what righteous fruit looks like.  Galatians  5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
   
Over the next few days I will address each one of these aspects of spiritual fruit and provide some action steps to help realize this fruit in our children.