Cheryl and I are in a good season of life and marriage. We’ve been empty-nesters for a few years now — we’ve adjusted — it was hard missing our boys at first — but now life is good. Really good.
This weekend we had a destination wedding (I love those) and added a few days for time just the two of us. We needed it. As great as a season as we are in it’s a busy season. We’ve been running hard for several months.
The good thing — we can’t think of anyone we’d rather be with when we are off from work.
Isn’t that a great feeling?
Cheryl and I intentionally strive to keep our marriage strong. It’s a work in progress. We know that if we ever let up the enemy will win. The Scripture is clear — Satan crawls around like a roaring lion, waiting to devour.
So, how do we keep our marriage strong? I’ve been asked that so many times.
Here are 7 ways we keep our marriage strong:
We walk. Cheryl and I walk together almost every day. When weather and time permits, we walk hours and miles together. This may sound strange unless you’ve experienced it, but as an introvert, I talk more — and am more comfortable doing so — when I am being physically active at the same time. When my boys were home, I engaged more when we were throwing a ball together. For Cheryl and me, it’s walking. And, here’s the key: Our communication is strengthened when we have an activity we do together regularly. So — we walk.
We talk. And, that’s so incredibly important. Every day we talk about our days. We debrief our life. There are always moments of the day we would have to explain to understand them. We explain. It cuts down the surprise factors in our life. I’m a part of every aspect of Cheryl’s life — and she is of mine. Our work. Our friends. Our families. Our hobbies. Our thoughts. Our fears. Our dreams.
We question. Cheryl and I have been known to ask some strange questions of each other. More than, “What are you thinking?”. Cheryl or I might ask something such as, “If you had one prayer — and only one prayer — for our boys, or for me, what would it be?” Questions that may seem silly to some, but to us they make perfect sense, because it keeps us thinking deeper about our life and each other.
We dream. Everyone has them. Some of us hide them better than others. Cheryl and I have a consistent habit of dreaming together. No dream is too small or too large. It’s a dream. It may or may not become reality, but that’s okay. It’s fun and energizing of our relationship to dream together.
We laugh. A lot. We don’t have the same sense of humor, but it doesn’t matter. We enjoy laughing together about whatever there is to laugh about at the time. It would probably be silly and not funny to anyone else, but that’s okay. Our mutual humor keeps us close at heart.
We cry. Okay, I’ve got to be honest on this one. I’m not a big crier. I cry, but very selectively and very privately. But, Cheryl and I share something with each other. We are vulnerable to each other. Very vulnerable. I’m not afraid to tell her I’m afraid. That I’m hurt. That I wish life was different than it is — even if I have to say it with tears in my eyes. Our lives are open books with one another. It builds a closeness that is hard to destroy.
We love. Deeply. I’ve heard it said I’d rather be deeply loved than widely loved. Cheryl and I deeply love each other. It’s the kind of love that can overlook the flaws we bring to the relationship. And, we bring a lot. Mostly me. But, love is ultimately a choice we make — a deep, committed, loyal kind of choice. I choose Cheryl. She chooses me.
That’s our seven. Do you have more to share?
What keeps your marriage strong?