One of the hardest parts of leading for me has been the things I’ve had to learn or do that may have been contrary to the way I would have naturally done them.
For example, I like to be in control of my surroundings. I don’t like the feeling of being out of control. There have been several incidents in my personal life which have shaped that in me as a person. Yet as a leader there are many times I don’t have the privilege of being in control. To some that may sound like the opposite of being a good leader. Learning to empower people, however, has proven to actually be a better leadership model for me.
So I decided to share some of the hardest paradigms I have had to learn in order to be effective as a leader.
Here are 7 hard paradigms I had to learn to be an effective leader:
I had to develop the ability to say no more than I get to say yes. I love to say yes. It’s easier. It makes people happier. It’s such a more positive word. And, I’m a positive person — the glass is always half full for me — three-fourths even. But, I’ve learned that always saying yes makes me very ineffective as a leader and eventually leads to my burnout. How healthy is that for our team?
I have to live with sometimes being unpopular. The natural tendency is to believe that the leader is well known and, frankly, well liked. I’ve learned however that every decision I make seems to make some people happy and some not so happy. I’ve even made some people angry — with some of the decisions I have made — even some that in time proved to be the best decision.
I have to move forward sometimes in uncertainty. I’ve never been able to have all the answers before a decision has to be made. That would totally remove the faith factor and it would stagnate us. I’ve learned to be an effective leader I have to be willing to go into the unknown.
I had to get comfortable challenging mediocrity. If you don’t know, you can ruffle someone’s feathers if you challenge the way they’ve been doing something. That includes if what they are doing isn’t working and they’ve “always done it that way”. But, I’ve learned that as a leader it’s part of my job to challenge us to improve — in all areas. Granted, sometimes we can push too hard or too fast, but it’s incredibly difficult to recover from complacency.
I had to lower my pride and admit I can often be wrong. I came into leadership, as most leaders do, believing I had some answers to offer. And sometimes I do. But I’ve also learned that my team often knows more than me. In fact, if I surround myself with the right team — that statement would be — my team always knows more than me. At least in the individual areas they lead. I have to yield to them and empower them for us to achieve our maximum potential.
I had to come to a reality that I couldn’t be everywhere or do everything. As a creative, my mind has a tendency to wander. If I’m not careful, I’ll try to be too involved in everyone else’s work and the work I’m supposed to do suffers. I want to help the discipleship ministry, the mission ministry, the music ministry, and the administrative ministry of the church, and every other ministry — in an in depth way. Granted, I need to be involved at some level, and part of my job as leader is casting vision for the entire church, but micromanaging never produces healthy or the best results. Disciplining myself not to always have an opinion has proven to be a more effective form of leadership.
I had to realize that sometimes the best thing to put on my calendar is rest. I’m from a generation and a family history of work. Rest doesn’t come without discipline for me. How can doing nothing be a good thing? I am wired for it to seem counter-productive to me. I’ve learned, however, that without proper rest, I’m eventually very ineffective as a leader. There have been days — extremely busy days — where the best decision of my day was to stop take a nap and started again. Needing proper rest is true of days, weeks, and seasons in order for my leadership to remain effective.
Those are some that come to my mind. I’m sure there are others.
What paradigms have you learned that have helped you be a more effective leader?