“I say this in love…”
You can injure a lot of people with that term.
“I say this in love” has caused a lot of damage over the years.
In church relationships…
In work situations…
It can be in person or online.
It’s often the start of some of the “best” gossip — or unfair judging. Certainly some very hurtful criticism begins this way.
I’ve been the recipient of this kind of “love” and sometimes it doesn’t seem very loving to me.
Sometimes people seem to think they can say anything — in any form — without considering the consequences — as long as they begin with that phrase.
I’ve seen people preface a mean-spirited zinger of a comment with a disclaimer of love, but it’s still a mean-spirited zinger. The way you begin a conversation doesn’t remove the need to be kind, even when offering correction or extending criticism.
We should do all things in love. That’s a command. As believers, we have to learn how to critique, criticize, complain and even rebuke people — in love.
But, let’s make sure we display love all the way through our conversations.
Not just with the first five words.
In a future post, I’ll to help us think through this issue more with some hopefully helpful tips.