When You Can’t Stand the Heat in the Leadership Kitchen
When I was growing up I frequently heard the phrase…
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Are people still saying it and I’m just not hearing it?
Either way, I think that phrase applies in leadership, only I’m not sure that’s the only option.
Are you experiencing the “heat”; the stress of leadership? Do you feel you are in over your head? Are you not able to keep up with the demands on you personally and you are, therefore, questioning your abilities as a leader? Do others have the perception you can’t accomplish what you are supposed to do? Perception is often more powerful than reality.
I have been there numerous times as a leader. At 20 years of age, I was thrust into a management position, because the manger left suddenly. By default I was given responsibility I had bluffed upper management into believing I was prepared to do. I wasn’t. When I became a self-employed small business owner I quickly realized the ball rested in my court, I was responsible for meeting payroll for others and myself, and I was in well over my head. As the pastor of a fast growing church, there have been many times I’ve not known what to do. Thankfully, I’ve matured enough to admit it these days.
When you find yourself in over your head in leadership, using the analogy of the heat in the kitchen…
I think you have a 3 basic options:
Get out of the kitchen – Let’s be honest and admit that you may be in the wrong kitchen. The heat may be too much for you. Sometimes you simply aren’t a fit for the role. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a fit for any role, just not this one, or in this organization. My leadership style wouldn’t work in many churches. Being willing to admit it saves you heartache, your team from destruction, and the organization from having to make difficult decisions regarding your leadership in the future…when everyone discovers you’re out of your league.
Learn from better cooks – Maybe the oven temperature is set too high. Perhaps you are using the wrong ingredients. Maybe you need better assistant chefs. I’m not trying to stir up a recipe simply to fit this point in the post (Okay, please admit that’s funny), but you may need to invite input from people who have been cooking (leading) longer than you have. Leadership can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. Find those who are willing to invest in you. That often begins with the humility to admit you need help and the willingness to ask for it.
Improve the kitchen – Perhaps it’s the environment you’ve created in the kitchen. You may need to change the people who are seated at your kitchen table or who are watching you cook. You may need to get a better stove or, as I’ve learned, even getting the right spatula will make me a better cook. Again, I’m not trying to overuse this analogy, but the point is that in leadership we usually have to get better before we can get bigger. Sharpening our personal skills, growing the strength of our team, placing the right people in positions around us and improving the organization’s culture and environment can be helpful when a leader feels overwhelmed. You have to do what it takes to become a better leader. I got a second master’s degree to help me in leadership. You may not need to go to that extreme, but you should be intentional about gaining the training and experience you need to be a lead at a higher level.
Feeling hot in the leadership kitchen? You may need to get out…but there may be other options.
Got any other kitchen leadership analogies you’d care to share?
Share your story of when the kitchen was too hot for you in leadership. What did you do?
