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The Post I Shouldn’t Have Posted…and How it Changed Me

By September 9, 2011Encouragement, Leadership

I once wrote a post…

It’s been a couple years now, but it taught me a lasting lesson…

I wrote about a situation I was dealing with at the time…

It was a general post…

The post addressed a leadership principle involving a disagreement I had with someone…

A leadership issue…I write about leadership issues…

I thought I was right…he thought he was…

I still agree with my position…he still agrees with his…

It was not a staff member…and I didn’t mention the person…

It would have been hard to tell who I was talking about….except to him…

And he knew…

He called me on it…
(Honestly I didn’t know he read my blog…)

He didn’t think I should use my blog to address our disagreement…

I was using the power of a platform to address a personal issue…

He was right…I was wrong…(Not about the leadership position, 🙂 but about using a post to address it during the disagreement)

I apologized…and immediately took the post down…

He accepted my apology and we are great friends today

I love that kind of relationship and proud of both of us for responding as we did…

It changed, however, how and when I blog about an issue…

The criteria I use now before posting on a real-life situation…

  • I never post in anger…
  • I sleep on it at least a night before posting…

I ask:

  • Why am I posting this?
  • Would I still post this if the person knew it’s about them?
  • Is this post helpful?
  • Is my version of the situation true for both sides of the disagreement?

Have you ever posted in anger? Has anyone ever called you on a post?

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Ron Edmondson

Author Ron Edmondson

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Join the discussion 17 Comments

  • chloe
    Twitter:
    says:

    Excellent blog you have here but I was curious if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics discussed here? I’d really love to be a part of group where I can get feedback from other knowledgeable people that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Kudos! chloe http://クロエバッグ.seesaa.net/

  • levittmike says:

    Great reminder for us all that our fingertips can damage just like our tongues. Have a blessed weekend!

  • I see this all too often. Even when I don't know the person, I can always tell when the "analogy" JUST happened.

    I don't think I've ever posted in anger but I've definitely had to check my motives when posting about another person for illustration purposes. I always find that stories and real-life examples are more poignant but they aren't always appropriate to write about as soon as they happen.

    It can be tough to navigate but your criteria is really helpful.

  • I am careful before publish a post. Simply because everyone (including my employer) will be following it. And, prevention is always better than cure. Publishing a controversial post recklessly leads to inviting unwanted trouble.

    But, I do make mistakes but I try to learn from them. It is good when we learn from our mistakes and do not the mistake.

  • Laura Click says:

    I've never posted in anger. Because I blog to grow my business, I don't want to damage my reputation or someone else's as a result of a post.

    I'm also hesitant to blog about difficult situations while I'm in the middle of them. I tend to wait, give it time, and then blog about it later. I think it's often better to let it cool off quite a bit so you can truly examine and explain the lessons from the situations. Otherwise, it just looks like a rant…and that doesn't help your readers at all.

    Good advice here, Ron.

  • Brad Blocksom
    Twitter:
    says:

    Ron – this goes for situations one shares from the pulpit as illustrations too. Even if no names are mentioned, and the details are left sketchy, often times its not hard to figure out who it is, or by process of elimination to narrow it down to 2 or 3 persons in the church whom it could be. And that's not healthy for anybody – the one sharing, the other party in the situation, or us in the congregation listening. Speakers must be very careful in the stories/real-life illustration they share publicly (incl. stories about family members) and we as congregants must resist the temptation to try to speculate – "I wonder who he's talking about?" e.g. if tis about someone who recently left the church, well how long is the list of peopel who recently left the church.

  • Laurinda says:

    If I write a post from recent experience I schedule it a month out because of everything you laid out. I also try to write it as if it happened years ago. I do think teaching from real life experience is important.

  • kathyfannon
    Twitter:
    says:

    Sometimes we learn the hard way. Honestly, I wish more people would stop and ask themselves these questions before posting frustrations on their Facebook status. Even adults "say" too much in public than can be hurtful or childish.

    I'm glad you're still friends with the other person!

  • Mike Sansone says:

    Thanks for this reminder. I'm sure I'll refer to it (and share it).

  • I have never posted mad (since I tend to be sort of laid back) but I did post once about a situation of a girl living with a guy but singing on the praise team. I did it all anonymously and simply asked for thoughts. My webmaster, who attends the church I pastor, asked me if it was wise posting it. "What would happen if she read it?" he asked. I pulled the post immediately. He gave some wise advice and saved me from possible disaster and her from untold embarrassment. Good thought today Ron.

  • jerry says:

    Excellent Ron, Quick to listen and slow to speak. I pray I can have the control to ask myself these questions before I speak.