Embracing Intentional Change

We moved downtown…

After we became empty-nesters, Cheryl and I sold the house where we raised our boys and purchased a condominium in the downtown area of our city. We have a river view. It’s an open floor plan. Everything we do is on one level, plus we have an upstairs living space for the boys when they come home. We walk downtown almost every night. When we can, we eat downtown too. On Saturdays, we visit with the downtown street festivals. We love it!

It was hard leaving our home with so many memories of raising our family and move from the safe and quiet neighborhood, but we sensed it was time for a change in our life. Here is something we have learned from experience: Sometimes people need intentional change in order to keep life interesting and protect or grow a marriage. I shared before about “Couple Dreaming“. Cheryl and I had always dreamed of living downtown, so rather than keeping it a dream, we took steps to accomplish that dream.

Working with many couples and individuals in counseling I have learned that becoming bored in a relationship can be dangerous. We don’t intend to let that happen! As we entered into a new chapter of our lives as empty-nesters, we decided to make some intentional changes in our life. We have a few more dreams in our future…we’ll see what happens next with them. It’s keeping our marriage and lives exciting!

It doesn’t have to be a move, but sometimes a change of pace will ignite new excitement in marriage. The same can be true of a career or a personal life. Change can bring about renewed energy and motivation. Cheryl and I were not bored in our marriage. We would have been fine had we stayed in the house, but change made us even closer in our marriage, because it forced us out of our routines and into new avenues in our relationship. It’s an exciting time.

What intentional change have you made or do you need to make in your life?

Motivate us: Share an experience of when you made an intentional change in your life!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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16 thoughts on “Embracing Intentional Change

  1. I have not made such a major change, but I did make a decision that for me took a lot of inspiration and focus. I decided to create a web site. If you knew how technologically challenged I am you would understand how huge this was. I have paid for hosting and a domain name for a couple of years and done nothing with it. I finally decided that it was high time I worked on it and got started. I am not finished adding all the plug-ins I want, but it is for the most part complete (except for adding new posts, of course). I felt so good when I finally got it the way I wanted it. It did pose a number of challenges, but I persevered, asked a couple of questions when I couldn't figure it out, and it only took me a couple of weeks to accomplish. Then I set up a second site in a different venue which I am really pleased with. It gives a satisfaction and has inspired me to do more with my writing, too.

    Another change I made this spring was to invite a young girl from church to stay with me when she was desperate to leave her parents' home. It was not a good atmosphere for her there. I have, for the biggest part of my life, lived alone. My mother lived with me for nearly 5 years before she died 2 years ago, and I was alone again. I enjoy living alone. I opened my home to someone temporarily last year and when she left felt free again and happy about it. But now I feel very comfortable with this young lady living here and I can actually say I enjoy her being here and will miss her when she is able to support herself and get her own place. God is faithful and when we follow His design for our lives we are at peace and fulfilled.

  2. This is really good advice. Not something I would have automatically thought of, but it makes complete sense. Thank you for sharing your insight! I'm wondering what intentional changes we should be making.

  3. Good plan! Always go where God leads. I think sometimes, also, God allows tremendous freedom in decision making, such as in whether to live in a house or condo. In those times, I encourage intentional change also.

  4. Change will not be sour when it is intentional. If we fail to make some intentional change, then we may end up facing unavoidable and compulsory change. Changing routines are necessary at times in our life. (Tim Sanders too stresses this point in his new book 'Today We Are Rich') We will be able to have some fresh prespective from that intentional change. I can relate to your feelings when you say that "it was hard leaving our home with so many memories of raising our family and move from the safe and quiet neighborhood." Emotions attached with such homes can never be erased from our minds. God bless you both as you enter this new residence.

  5. We made an intentional change to move to a small town in central Indiana. That shook up the marriage since my wife had to go to work at a job other than daycare. It has now ended (cutbacks) so we are on the verge of another change. Not intentional since I had hoped for another 6 months at least, so I am not sure what it will bring. I know it is not exactly what you wanted but that is where we are. Flux.

    • Clinging together during those times of change, intentional or unintentional, makes a marriage stronger. Thanks Bill.

  6. For someone who has always been routine oriented, change can sometimes be difficult. It's scary to go from the familiar to the unknown. However, I have learned the incredible value of daily listening to God when it comes to change and deciding to trust Him with both the little and the life altering. When we step out in obedience, He is faithful! Enjoy your new home!