7 Funniest Verses in the Bible (Plus One)

I have often chuckled when I’ve read the following verses. I’m not trying to be irreverent and hope this is not offensive, but sometimes I read the stories in the Bible and I see the humanity of people. I can hear myself making some of these statements. It brings a smile to my face and I can’t help but laugh.

Here are 7 of the funniest verses I have read in Scripture:

Matthew 15:12 Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?” (They sounded like a group who didn’t know Jesus very well at this point.)

1 Samuel 1:8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” (I can’t believe he was dumb enough to say it…actually yes I can…but he evidently said it multiple times.)

Luke 12:13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” (Imagine you get an audience with Jesus…you’ve got your one chance…He’s been teaching not to worry…what do you ask Him?)

Mark 9:28 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet and he stood up. (The disciples had tried everything they knew how to do…except prayer. Some things are just not possible apart from God’s hand upon the situation.)

Mark 9:34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. (The humanity…they knew Jesus wouldn’t be pleased, but they couldn’t help but compare.)

Esther 1:20 Then when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest. (How has that law worked so far?)

Exodus 16:14 When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor.(And we are told elsewhere they were honey flavored. Frosted Flakes were the first cereal! They’rrre Greeaatt!)

And the bonus one:
Exodus 16:36 (An omer is one-tenth of an ephah.) (You’ve got to love a clear explanation!)

Which do you think is funny? Can you think of any you would you add to the list?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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52 thoughts on “7 Funniest Verses in the Bible (Plus One)

  1. One more to add: Mark 14:51-52: "A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind."

  2. [Ha.ha..ha..] I lyk funny stuff. Thx for your posts; really funny; i love them.

    Do you find this one funny? ~I always smile whenever i read or hear someone read it~
    Jesus referring to Herod said: .."Go tell that fox,.."
    ((((Luke 13: 32))))

  3. Good picks! Definitely made my chuckle. My little addition…

    Wondering how to respond when someone asks what verse of the Bible inspires you most? Throw this at them… "They were piled into heaps, and the land reeked of them." (Exodus 8:14 NIV)

    (great verse to quote when the cookies get burnt, too! Haha)

  4. This post has really been a tonic! Thanks for making me smile. __But I had to REALLY chuckle when I saw the typo made in the last reference about the manna. Was it a subconscious connection with the sweet stuff that made you slip and write …"thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the DESSERT floor." ?

    • Ha! No, that was totally just a typ! Thanks for catching it. I almost left it to see if anyone else would catch, but decided not to leave the question open! That's funny.

  5. I liked: Mark 9:34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.

    A verse, or group of verses, I find funny is in Exodus. It's where God is talking about the skin blemishes, and telling Moses what is clean and unclean, then how long they are unclean. If you were an Israelite teenager, you must have lived outside of the camp until you were like 18.

  6. What about Mark 14:51-52? “A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.” hmmmm….
    Twitter: mattgrube

  7. Jesus said John 15:14 You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.

    (hmm…why has that worked so well for Him and not for me?)

  8. Judges 4:21 (NLT) But when Sisera fell asleep from exhaustion, Jael quietly crept up to him with a hammer and tent peg in her hand. Then she drove the tent peg through his temple and into the ground, and so he died.

    (Just in case you were wondering what happened to Sisera after he had a tent peg driven into his head.)

  9. Proverbs 27:14 If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.

    Job 13:5 If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

    2 Kings 9:20 The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi–he drives like a madman."

  10. I was not going to go here, but since the person above me did:

    Exodus 20:17 KJV
    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

    Sorry if this is inappropiate…

  11. 1 Samuel 25:34 (KJV)
    34 For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

    That's one you want to read silently before reading publicly… :P

    • Ha! It is…

      Years ago we were on a mission trip in another country. An older KJV only guy was preaching and the word was "ass", but the translator didn't know the word, so the preacher kept saying "Ass" "Ass" "You know…ass"…then he pointed to his and the translator got it. The natives weren't laughing, but the Americans sure were!

  12. My family gets a kick out of Joshua 23:1-2.

    1. …That Joshua was old and stricken in age.
    2. And Joshua called for Israel…and said unto them, “I am old and stricken in age.” KJV

  13. The ark being made out of gopherwood. Huh?

    That conversation between Peter and Jesus regarding John where Jesus asked what's it to him if John were given, oh, no time to look it up, was it immorality?, then the text goes on to explain rumors John would live so long sprang up, but the question was rhetorical. The conversation is more fun when you hear Revelations was written by someone named John and maybe in 90AD.

    Jeremiah 10 is often mistaken for a no Christmas tree edict, but, read in context, he's saying they go in the forest, cut down some wood, inlay it w/ silver and gold and pray to it? It has the tone of that SNL news segment: "Really? With Seth and Amy."

  14. Ron – I looove love love this post!! I've always believed that God has a sense of humor….that we just don't get it sometimes.

    Here is my contribution to your list. AND when kids enter the TEEN years…. well, you know. justsayin!

    Psalm 137:9
    Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. (KJV)

    My sister recently texted me and asked for this verse. I had to laugh out loud and wonder in my mind what my teen nephews had just done!!

    Thanks for the smile today!
    {{HUGS}}
    @spreadingJOY

  15. I love Numbers 12:3, Moses on Moses: "Now Moses was very humble–more humble than any other person on earth." (NLT but all are similar).

  16. I always kinda liked 1 Kings 18:27.

    At noon Elijah began to taunt them. “Shout louder!” he said. “Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.”

  17. Ex 8:9-10 'Moses said to Pharaoh, "I leave to you the honor of setting the time for me to pray for you and your officials and your people that you and your houses may be rid of the frogs, except for those that remain in the Nile."
    10 "Tomorrow," Pharaoh said. (NIV)
    I would have wanted those critters gone NOW!