While I’m away, I thought I’d share the top posts (according to unique hits) I’ve written about marriage. I hope you are working on your marriage today!

Men and Women Need Accountability

One of the Biggest Mistakes I See in Marriage

7 Tips for Healthy Marriage Communication

7 Ways I Protect My Heart and Ministry From an Affair

A Secret Your Husband Needs You to Know

7 Top Needs of A Wife

6 Top Needs of A Husband

Winning Back the Heart of Your Wife

5 Major Reasons Marriages Fail

The Dangerous 7-Year Phenomenon

7 Things Your Wife Is Not

The Two Shall Become One Flesh

Addressing Major Problems in a Marriage

What to Do with a Marriage after an Affair

5 Obstacles to Having a Great Marriage

What is the greatest thing your marriage needs to be made better?

Brad Lomenick leads the Catalyst Leader team that is helping to shape the leadership culture in many churches today.  Before leading the charge on Catalyst, he helped lead a cool magazine called Life@Work and did consulting with lots of companies. Brad’s position with Catalyst gives him access to some great leaders.  I thought it would be interesting to hear from his perspective on leadership.  You can follow Brad on Twitter HERE.

Here are 10 questions with Brad Lomenick:

When you were growing up, is this what you thought you would be doing vocationally?  If not, what did you want to do?

No, not necessarily. I really thought while I was in middle school and high school, and early in college- I would be in politics. Or that I would be a coach and school administrator, like my dad. Once I got to college I realized I really liked business, and leadership, and enjoyed connecting people together.

What’s the most different job you’ve had from what you are doing now and how did that job help you with what you are doing now?

After college, I worked as a wrangler and ranch Foreman at a guest ranch in Colorado- Lost Valley Ranch. Amazing place. Riding horses and hanging out with guests most of the day. We had 150 horses and 200 head of cattle, and the ranch was an hour from the closest town, so I really had to become an “expert” in horses, ranching, veterinary work, cattle, and the entire world of running a ranch. That experience really refined my work ethic, my focus on building authentic relationships, and the understanding of living out the Gospel by serving others until they ask “why.” We loved building bridges with our guests, and making them into “family” instead of just being a guest.

Who is one person, besides Christ, who most helped to shape your leadership and how did they help you?

That’s a tough one. Probably my dad, in terms of what it meant to work hard and be excellent at what you do. And Bob Foster, the founder of Lost Valley Ranch, also had a huge impact on me in my mid 20’s- more in spiritual development, a strong passion for the Bible and scriptural engagement, and for building into others and refining my style of leadership.

Besides the Bible, what is one book that has most helped to shape your thought process in life and ministry?

Another tough one. If I have to choose one book, it would probably be Good to Great by Jim Collins.

What are three words other people would use to describe your work style/ethic?

Collaborator, Focus, Achiever, Excellence

What is your greatest strength in leadership?

Ability to create partnerships, and involve lots of leaders in the process. Plus being willing to stay focused on execution and moving the ball across the finish line.

What is your greatest weakness in leadership?

I am a strong ENTJ on the Myers Briggs. Which has it’s goods and bads. My high achiever/focus can sometimes come across as overwhelming and brash. I have to make sure I connect with my team personally, and they know that intensity is part of who I am.

What is the hardest thing you have to do in leadership?

Trying to balance a work hard and play hard culture, the ability to stay focused as a team, and maintaining a standard of excellence, and continually improving.

What is one misconception about your position you think people may have?

I would probably say the greatest misconception is that because Catalyst is big, and we put on large events, people sense we “know it all” and have a huge team that pulls off the events we do. But our team is small, and we are hard workers, but we know that we don’t know it all. We embrace the truth that Gods does extraordinary things through ordinary people. And our team is just a bunch of ordinary, young, passionate followers of Christ who are willing to be part of something extraordinary that God is doing through Catalyst.

If you could give one piece of advise to young leaders from what you’ve learned by experience, what would it be?

Learn from everyone- whether someone who is 61 or 21, a CEO or just entering the workforce, it doesn’t matter. We can learn from all the folks around us. And especially be willing to learn, and LISTEN, to those you might disagree with.

Great interview Brad!  Thanks for leading a great team that helps so many leaders.

Have you been to Catalyst?  Are you going this year? I will be blogging from Atlanta this year and I would love to see you there.

I’m a senior citizen….at least for now, Seriously. It’s not a joke. I’m not trying to be funny. I’m only 46 years old, but for the next couple weeks, I’ll be considered “old as dirt”. And, it won’t be because the 20 something year olds traveling with me will be making fun of me either…even though they might. In fact, they may go through a mid-life crisis, because they’ll be considered middle-aged.

In case you missed yesterday’s post, I’m headed to Sierra Leone. The life expectancy there is only 43 years old. I couldn’t believe that when I first read it. I will literally be an old man there. It reminds me that life is relative to the context in which you live it sometimes. It also makes me sad for that country and more passionate about ministering to the people of Sierra Leone.

I know this also. Not only will I be even more intentional there; knowing that life is so short, perhaps it will shape how I view life here, because life is short in the United States too, isn’t it? Regardless of how long a person lives…

I would appreciate your prayers. It would be great to get home and see comments that you were praying for our group. I suspect that I will feel those prayers, so let me thank you for them now.

Have you ever been to Africa? Have you been on a mission trip? Did it change your life? Tell me about it…at least where you went.

Tomorrow a group of five, including me, will leave for 10 days in Sierra Leone. We are going to support a church planting ministry called Africa for Jesus. We will meet people in remote villages, encourage them in their efforts, teach pastors and families, and share God’s love to the people of Africa. I’m excited.

I have traveled extensively doing mission work, but this will be my first trip to the continent of Africa. From the research I have done, this will be the most primitive setting in which I have ever ministered…and I’ve been to some rough places. I’m praying God uses this time to strengthened my faith. (I realize that is a scary prayer.)

Here is how you can help. I have some posts sporadically planned and hope to add some while I am away, but I will have limited Internet time. You can help by tweeting my posts as you are encouraged to do so. I hate to put work into a post and not be able to promote it properly.

Obviously you can pray for us and our families who are still here. We believe we are prepared and going to relatively safe areas, but as with any trip like this, there are always unexpected adventures. It would be great to know that we are being covered in prayer.

Will you commit to pray for our trip? I promise to update you as I can and share pictures from Africa, or if not, when we get home. Thanks and God bless.

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again. Ecclesiastes 11:1

I had an interesting situation occur last Sunday after one of our services. I was greeting people as they left the service as I do every week and a man waited to speak with me. He has been attending our church about six months, but wanted to share with me what brought him to Grace. Apparently years ago, probably close to 15 years now, I was in the insurance business and he was in real estate. He said that every time he achieved any recognition as a realtor he would get an encouraging note from me. He was so encouraged each time that he began keeping up with me in my community involvement and my online activity (I’ve been attempting ministry online since 1996). He said he decided if I ever pastored a church he would attend. He only recently learned I was at Grace.

I don’t share that story to make myself look special. Honestly it was mostly marketing driven activity at that time. I share it because it illustrates a bigger principle; the one the verse shared at the beginning of this post illustrates The principle is that when we do good things; the things that invest in people, encourage them, make their life better, we may not see the immediate results of those actions. Sometimes it may not even seem to make a difference, but after many days…well…after many days only God knows the good that you and I may see.

It reminds me of a couple other principles from God’s word:

Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Do the good you know and see to do today. “Cast your bread upon the waters.” You may get no recognition for it. No one may even seen to care that you did…oh but one day…you’ll find that bread again…and when you do...that’s some good bread. Trust me!

Have you had a stories of doing good things and not hearing of it later?

I’d loved to read your story. It may encourage others…and me.

I am not a conference junkie. I do love the experience networking and learning from other leaders, but frankly, who has the time and money for all the conferences available?  That’s why I’m selective about the conferences I attend.  I wrote earlier this week about Catalyst.  I believe in what they do for so many leaders, including me.

Another conference that is much smaller, but has huge potential to help church leaders think is the Story Conference. I attended the first one last year and it truly is different…in all the right ways.  This year’s Story Conference promises to be even more challenging.  I hope you will consider joining me and others who will be there.  I believe in guys like Ben Arment, Story’s founder, because they are young minds who are inspiring us as church leaders to think of new ways to reach people with an unchanging Gospel.  (Ben was my first interviewee in my Tuesday series.  Read his interview HERE.)

STORY is a conference for the creative class in ministry on September 23-24, 2010 at Park Community Church in downtown Chicago. This church is a cutting edge church reaching today’s generation.  The purpose of Story is to fuel the church’s artists, writers and producers in communicating the greatest story ever told. You’ll hear from some of the best creative practitioners in both ministry and the marketplace, from filmmakers and authors to actors and musicians. I love the fresh voices who will speak into my life this year at Story. Presenters include:

• Dan Allender – best-selling author, professor at Mars Hill Graduate School
• Charlie Todd – creator of Improv Everywhere in New York City
• Princess Zulu – AIDS victim from infancy, advocate for the oppressed
• Jason Fried – founder of 37Signals, creator of Basecamp, author of Rework
• John Sowers – president of Donald Miller’s The Mentoring Project
• Shauna Niequist – former creative director at Mars Hill, author of Bittersweet
• David Hodges – formerly of the band Evanescence, award-winning songwriter
• Leonard Sweet – futurist, author of 40 books, professor at Drew University
• David McFadzean – creator of Home Improvement, producer of Roseanne
• Richard Walter – accomplished screenwriter and professor of film at UCLA
• Sean Gladding – member of Communality, a new monastic community
• Andrew Klavan – author of True Crime (Clint Eastwood) and numerous novels
• Gary Dorsey – founder of Pixel Peach Studio in Austin, TX
• Music by Vicky Beeching, Kari Jobe and Carlos Whittaker

Seating is limited to just 500 attendees, which allows you to mingle and network with people there, including speakers, and the event is scheduled on a Thursday and Friday so you can enjoy the weekend in the great city of Chicago. Following its inaugural event in 2009, STORY is now a two-day, main-stage event with no breakouts or workshops; just an intimate audience with the top creative minds. You’ll be able to ask questions during the event and continue the conversation after it’s over. Visit www.storychicago.com.

Will I see you at Story? Come hang out with me in Chicago for a couple days…I’d love to meet you.

Winners announced for this giveaway:

Joshua sieweke

Kimbi352

Tim Davis

@megaug

Robby Nelson

Make sure you read Randy’s comment on this post. I randomly chose 4 and decided to give Randy one of these books.

Thanks!

I love the work of Andy Andrews. The Traveler’s Gift and The Noticer rank among two of my favorite books. Andy has a new book called The Heart Mender. I’ve just started the book, but after I watched this video of Andy talking about it, I was even more excited about reading it. You will be also.

Today I’m giving away five (5) copies of The Heart Mender. Here’s what you need to do to win:

1. Tweet something about this giveaway, such as “Win The Heart Mender by Andy Andrews from @RonEdmondson today, details here: (Make sure you include my Twitter name so I can insure you did this step.
2. Comment on this post with your name and/or Twitter name.

I will choose 5 winners using Random.org after 9 PM CST today.

What is your favorite Andy Andrews book?

A young man who attends our church is seeking a leadership degree. Recently he interviewed me for a paper he was required to write. I ask his permission and decided to share my answers here.

What type of leadership do you mostly exhibit?

The leader should paint the vision, hire the right people, and then release them to do their job.  I try to get out of the way of people who are doing good work.

How do the traits that you have differ from those that “follow” you?

Two ways:

1.  I am a very big picture guy.  I hate micro-management and I hate details.  I try to compliment my skills partly with people who can balance my big picture, strategic thinking with detail implementation skills.

2.  I’m 46 years old.  I realize the best new ideas for the future will likely come from the next generation.  (ie. Facebook, Google, Twitter).  I try to surround myself with younger people.  I also like people who will continue to challenge me.

How do you use power and influence? If at all?

I try not to use power.   If I’m using it, it’s usually not a pretty day in the office.   I try to use my influence to help people make wise decisions in their areas, balancing risk-taking, with practicality, affordability, and reason.

How is innovation applied to your leadership style?

You should read my category on innovation on my blog, but basically I love change and new ideas, so I’m consistently looking for ways to stir things up around me.  I also like continual improvement and critical thinking, so I’m always thinking, “How could this be made/done better?”

Do you employ strategic leadership? How?

I hope so. That’s one of my strengths according to StrengthsFinders.  My desire is to think how each decision will impact other people and the organization as a whole. I consider myself extremely purposeful, and I try to practice purposeful leadership, mostly because as I look at the life of Jesus, I see Him continually seeming to be strategic in how He led the disciples and continues to lead people today.

I thought these were great questions.  Now, here are three questions for you:

1. Could you work for a guy like me?
2. What would drive you crazy about my style?
3. How would you answer these questions?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16

I look good online. I appear to be all the things I’m not. Here’s the truth you need to know:

I can be greedy…
I can be prideful…
I can be arrogant…
I can be stubborn…
I can be lustful…
I can be unforgiving…
I can be judgmental…
I can be egotistical…
I can be selfish….
I can be uncaring…

There’s my list…Thankful, as always, for His grace…

I don’t want my prayers hindered in any way because I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. I feel better letting you know who I really am some days.

What do you need to confess today?

Leading up…It’s a subject I frequently am asked how to do.

I have personally surrounded myself with great young leaders who are 10, 15, even 25 years younger than me. I love the enthusiasm and creative minds of young leaders, so I try to remain open to them leading me at times, but I’m sure some on my team wrestle with the same issue with me at other times. The question I often receive is how to influence those who are supposed to be leading you, especially when many times you feel as though you have better ideas than they may have about an issue. How can you gain influence over the people in leadership positions when they don’t seem be open to or even value your input?

If this is your issue, here are 5 things I believe you should consider when trying to lead up:

Respect – Granted, you may know more than the person leading you about an issue, but chances are he or she has experience you do not have. We all like to be respected for our experience. Keep in mind also that some of those experiences may have been negative and may have prompted the style of leadership he or she provides now. If you have any hope for the leader’s approval, however, you will need to show that you respect the position of authority the person has in the organization.

Kindness – This is a general principle when working with others, but especially true in this situation. If you aren’t likable to the leader, he or she isn’t likely to respond likewise. Have you ever heard, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? That works when trying to gain the favor of a leader too. Even if the leader is unkind at times, attempt to win him or her over with kindness. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

Acknowledge – Recognize the leader’s previous and current contribution to the organization, as well as his or her wisdom. Even if you respect a leader, he or she isn’t likely to know or appreciate that respect until you let them know. When a leader feels appreciated for their previous efforts, he or she is less likely to feel threatened and more likely to welcome input.

Ask – Request the leader’s input and help…even if you don’t necessarily need it. It will show you value them. The best leaders gain insight from lots of different sources. Model this for the ones who are leading you. You may not see the relevance of their insight right now, but they may actually surprise you and add something from their experience that you haven’t thought of or been exposed to yet.

Partner – Find areas of common connection. Even if there is a significant age gap or different paradigms of life, there will be things you have in common. That’s part of all networking and team-building. I see many younger leaders who only want to hang out with younger leaders, and vice-versa for the older leaders. This will never bridge the generational gap and isn’t healthy for the organization.

I personally understand the frustration of being part of a team, but not feeling you have the freedom to share your opinions or the opportunity to help shape the future of the organization. Real leaders never last long in that type environment. There are certainly leaders who will never be open to your input. I recommend discovering this early and not wasting much time battling that type insecure leader. (I wrote about that type leader and organization in previous posts HERE, HERE and HERE.) Most leaders, however, if approached in the right way, will begin to see you as more of a helper than a hindrance to their personal success. Try these approaches and see if they help your situation.

Let us learn from your experience in leading up. How have you learned to influence those who are leading you?