Great post!

I have 5 college-aged kids and I agree with what you have put forth. When my kids where young and prone to forgetfulness, I would explain to the youngsters that one of my roles in the family was to help the kids understand what it means to be a productive member of a peaceful family. I would spend time explaining the household behavioral rules, the consequences for breaking those rules, and the whole context of how everything fits together to produce a safe and happy family.

And, on the occasion where a child would break the rules and put them self outside of a safe environment, we had the following procedure to help them back to place of safety:

~Stop the offending act
~Make sure that everyone involved was safe and not bleeding :O)
~Explain that a violation had taken place
~Explain the rule and the context of the violation and the offense against the rule
~Remind them of the punishment and the consequence for making the decision to break the rule
~Ask the child if they are sorry and if they want forgiveness (…they always say yes…)
~Administer the punishment in a measured manner (often spanking was the most immediate and meaningful)
~Kneel before God with parent and pray: "I know that the rules are good for best behaviors; I willingly broke the rules, I am sorry for my decision to break the rules and for hurting others; I want forgiveness; I know that by the blood and sacrifice of Jesus on the cross that I am forgiven and that Jesus' work pays my price for forgiveness; I accept His work to pay for my sin; I know now that I am forgiven for what I have done; I promise to not do this again. In forgiveness, I will humbly apologize to those i have harmed with a contrite heart. I will resume good behaviors with a forgiven spirit."

This has worked wonderfully to raise kids within an environment that provided a structured and safe place to prosper under the authority of God, through the involvement of parents. We explain to our kids that we are mere stewards of the Lord's children who have them placed within our domain for a period of time that we should raise them in a productive way that prospers them and their futures. And that we want the Lord's best for them.

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Recipe for Success

After mom had gone through 4 or 5 wooden spoons for spanking the kids, we got a hefty 5-gallon wooden paint stirring stick from Home Depot and put a label on it calling it "The Reminder." We said that God gave parents mouths to communicate information (rules) to their children's brains through their ears. The "data" would come from our mouths and land in their brains. But, sometimes, the data would slip down their spine and end up in the back side, causing them to misbehave without that good data (rules) in their brain. So we simply brought out "The Reminder" and with a quick swat, or more, got that good data back up into their heads. We said that we want them thinking clearly with the data in their heads and not resting idly in their back sides.

We found that the structured lessons of forgiveness coupled with the practical application against their back side was a sure-fired way to communicate consequences and context while helping to provide the clarity they needed for the future. After a few sessions, all we had to do to get the fussing kids back into alignment was to ask them if they knew the rules and wanted to behave, or if they needed "a reminder" to help them get a\back on track.

They are all doing well now with clear thinking and prosperous futures!

Tom Schulte
Atlanta, GA USA http://www.Linked2Leadership.com

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