My friend Tony Hill sent me an email this week asking me about our experience with church planting: (Tony is the mastermind behind my blog design.)

Hey Ron, I’m going through Andy Stanley’s book “Visioneering” with a friend. We are working on chapter 5 (faith as the essential ingredient for a vision) and the project for that chapter is to evaluate the success of others and I naturally thought of you. Would you mind if I sent you over around 7 questions from the book?  I guess this would all relate to Grace and it would be interesting to contrast that with your previous business that didn’t go as well.

Of course I was delighted to participate, so he sent me the questions.  My answers are below the questions.  These are great questions and I thought someone may enjoy the exchange.

How did you get started (with respect to the area of vision and success)?

For the church it was in a time of prayer about our city with 2 other friends.  The vision sat for 10 years before we did anything with it.
Also reading Jeremiah 33:9 spoke incredibly to me.

When you started out, did you feel God was leading you?

Absolutely.  I resisted it a long time and it was God’s encouragement and the encouragement from others that confirmed it and pushed me forward.

Did you ever feel God had abandoned you as you pursued your vision? If so, what did you do?

Not really abandoned, but after the river prayer time my other 2 friends left town and the vision seemed hopeless.  One of those came back to town years later and had been in a new church like Grace in his new town.  He was ready for something new.  In the meantime I had surrendered to the ministry.

What was the most faith-stretching experience you had along the way?

Asking 11 couples to walk by faith to support 3 staff members out of their own pockets if no one ever came.  They did!  Thankfully they never had to be stretched financially, because others came, but these were the same people who went out on a limb and signed a note on land when we purchased it.

As you began to experience the rewards of success, did it ever go to your head?

I’m sure at times I could be tempted, but I had enough previous failure in my life to keep me humble.  I recognize that this could all disappear some day if God removed His hand.

Is there anything particular that helps keep your success in perspective?

My family is my largest grounding tool. They are brutally honest with me, reminding me how unspectacular I am sometimes.

What would you do differently if you had to do it over?

I would not hide the fact that God has something big for us. I think, because a church plant can be so unpopular, that I was bashful about what we were doing at first.  I would be bolder in an effort to reach the lost and not hide because of small-minded negative people.

Friends are friends forever…if the Lords the lord of them…

That is the song that comes to mind when I think of Nate and his friend Taylor.

Long before Grace Community Church, Taylor’s parents were friends of ours.  They were core members of our church plant and helped launch our small group ministry.  Nate and Taylor have both played significant roles in various ministries in our church.  They are both leaving for college this Summer and will be greatly missed, not only personally, but for their contribution to the church as volunteers.  Thankfully Nate plans to attend Moody and Taylor plans to attend Wheaton, so they will be less than an hour from each other. I hope their friendship lasts a lifetime.

Taylor’s parents were intentional with us in encouraging the boys’ friendship.  In fact, part of the motivation for our friendship was so the boys could be friends.  We began early in their life trying to get them together as much as possible.  It’s easy when children are young to control their friendships.  It becomes much harder when they get older to make sure they make wise choices in choosing friends.  When we launched our church they were two of the original youth group together.  Their friendship blossomed.  It has been such a blessing to both of them through their high school years to each have a friend to hold the other accountable.

My advice to parents is to surround your children with kids they can be encouraged by later in life.  Pick your children’s friends, while you can, based on their parents.  (I wrote a similar post about this type of parenting HERE.)  Look for people who share your values, share your discipline philosophy, and are heading their children in the same direction you want your children to go.  Then get your children around those children as much as you can.  Hopefully you will instill in your children the skills of picking the right kinds of friends wisely that will carry over into other periods of their life.

Thank you Taylor for being a great friend to Nate!  I love you and I am going to miss you almost as much as I will him.   I just won’t be sending you money. (Sorry.)

Have you ever tried to pick your children’s friends?  Do you wish you could now?