One of the keys to a successful organization is also one of the riskiest things for a leader to do.  Leaders, if you want your organization to thrive, you have to be willing to give your vision away to those you lead.

Leaders talk a lot about the importance of sticking with a vision. We know we have to repeat a vision often. The vision is referred to for its value to an organization.  Without a vision, the people perish. Right?

I agree with all the truths about vision.  I am actually referring to another principle though that leaders sometimes overlook.  The best leaders allow others to own the vision besides them.  Actually they encourage it. They give their vision away.   The key is in surrounding yourself with people you trust enough to take your vision and implement it with their own personal touch.

When we planted our church I had a vision. It was actually a ten-year old vision.  It was a specific vision, but it was broad.   I felt God wanted to have a church that reached people where they were, not with rules to perform to for approval, but with unconditional love and grace.  I recruited a co-pastor who shared that vision.  I recruited a core team who could own that vision as their own.  My co-pastor and I recruited a worship leader who believed the vision.  Then step-by-step we began to give away our vision.

Taking the existing vision, which has never changed, we had core members who researched and shaped our children’s ministry.  Others started our greeting ministry.  Still other formed the structure of our preschool.  In this process they developed these ministries with their own individual perspectives and desires.  The ministries, while accomplishing the overall vision for the church, may or may not have looked like I would have personally planned them.  In the end, however, they were far better than I could have ever produced on my own.

Leaders often operate out of fear and hold too tightly to their vision, afraid others will ruin their “dream”, but this never allows people to develop, stifles growth, and doesn’t allow the body (or the organization) to perform at its best.  Ultimately it keeps the leader’s vision from achieving maximum potential.  My encouragement to these leaders would be to hire people you trust enough to own your vision and place their own personal touch on it.  Your organization will be the benefactor of this approach.

To whom do you need to give ownership of your vision in order that your organization may see its best growth?

I just saw this video. It’s been out for a year, so maybe you have. “Someone” thought I needed to view it. I guess if your spouse is a pastor you get this video. Frankly I don’t.

Have you ever heard your pastor talk about his wife in the message? Whatever….
 

 

It’s prom night!  My 17 year-old Nate looks sharp as he heads out for a night of fun.  I have the privilege of serving as co-chair of the After Prom event, which is a planned overnight activity designed to give students a safe night of fun, so I will be out all night and have church in the morning.  I guess it is my last opportunity, however, to serve in this role. Nate wrote his own post about the night HERE.

The whole night makes me a little reflective.  I remember senior prom like it was yesterday.  My date and I had an amazing time and it was a great way to end my high school experience.  I wouldn’t trade anything for the memories.

 

What about you?
What reflections of prom do you have?
What did you wear?
Who did you go with?
Do you still know the person?
Would they talk to you if they saw them today?
Was it a night you hope to always remember or one you wish you could forget?

I almost fired my wife one time.

Let me explain.  Years ago before ministry we owned a business together. The business had a substantial payroll for over 30 full-time employees.  As with many small businesses, we often struggled with cash flow.  She was the one managing finances and many weeks we were left wondering if we would have the funds to pay employees, not to mention keep the doors open. There were many sleepless nights for both of us and the stress was almost more than my wife and I could handle, but it was especially hard for her.  I learned that some people are just not suited for the stress that comes from being self-employed and it probably wasn’t a good fit for Cheryl from the start. To make matters worse, she had given up a good job as an accountant to pursue my dream when we bought the business.  Even though she never complained, it was obvious to me she was miserable.

This difficult period of time began to affect our relationship. Working together everyday, we couldn’t talk about our work when we got home and so our communication was hindered greatly.  Besides the personal strain though, as the one responsible for leading the business, I often hesitated asking her to do something at work or to assume a new role, because I knew the stress she was under already.  Frankly we both avoided discussing the stress of the business, even at work.  She jokingly accused me of running past her office.  She and I both became scarcer around the office and would readily admit we were not giving the job our normal work ethic.  (I wasn’t either most of the time and towards the end of our ownership I was the one who needed firing.  I wrote about the need to fire myself HERE.)

If we had not sold the business I was going to face a difficult decision regarding Cheryl staying with the company. Cheryl is extremely loyal to me and any organization she is involved with. She would not have left on her own.  I would have been forced to consider if it would be best for my wife and the company for her to leave. (Now please understand.  I am not stupid.  This would have been a joint decision. We were both owners of the company. ) Thankfully it never got to that point and we sold the business, but it does serve as an exaggerated example of one of the many often-difficult decisions leaders have to make.   If a situation occurred like this today I would handle it sooner and more definitively.

There are times when an employee is no longer a good fit for the position and sometimes for the organization.  At times like this a fine line exists between what is fair for the organization and what is fair for the employee.  The bottom line is that doing the best thing for the organization often involves making hard decisions. Leaders who succeed are not held back because of the level of difficulty.

Have you been putting off a difficult decision you need to make?

I don’t usually read forwarded emails (Please pay attention to that comment), but I received this about four times in one day and one was from my wife, so, sensing she may ask me about it later, I read it. Glad I did. Here are some things most men want you to know ladies, but for whatever reason they were afraid to say them. I’m not!  Some things need to be said.

The Man Rules
Finally , the guys’ side of the story. We always hear ” the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ” ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days..

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself..

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… ! ! Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes..

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

I don’t know where this originated, but it’s good.

What would you add to the list?

(PS.  Sweetheart, these are really for every other man. I’m good.)

Grace Community Church had an amazing day Easter Sunday. I wrote about that day HERE. It’s important after a big day like Easter to recast the vision for the church. A lot of times people can get complacent with where they are after a successful day. It is wonderful to celebrate success, and we absolutely should do so, but there should never be a “day off” from completing the vision. There’s a difference in a period of rest and a time of chill. We had numerous first-time visitors the Sunday after Easter and they deserve just as much energy put into a day as first-time visitors receive any other day of the year.

With that being said, this past Sunday we recast our own vision to our people, reminding them of who we are and what God has called us to do as a church. You can watch that video here:
 

 

I wish it never happened to anyone and I hope it never happens to you, but in my job I hear it almost every week.  It’s a word we are afraid of, one that can destroy,  and certainly one that will break a heart.  Sometimes people admit to it, but mostly they deny it.

The word is AFFAIR.

I once thought that word was guaranteed to end a marriage, but after seeing countless marriages put back together and actually strengthened following an affair, I now believe it definitely does not have to be the final chapter of a marriage.

Again, I hope you never hear the word, but if you do, here are some steps to take:

1. Expect numbness.  For the first few days or even weeks you may not feel anything. That’s okay.
2. Decide where you want to go with the marriage.  Do you want to make it work or not?  This is something both of you must decide. You will not be able to move forward in any direction until you do.  (This may take a week or a month or more, but if you want to save the marriage, you have to make that decision.)
3. Get counseling quick.  This is not an issue you can solve on your own or just ignore.   If you intend to save the marriage (which I hope you do) then you will need help.
4. Get a plan to restore your marriage and work the plan.  This will be a difficult, long process, but the results are worth it.
5. Eventually you will need to forgive your spouse for the hurt he or she has caused you.  This is a work of grace, but it is necessary to restore the marriage.
6. Build safeguards into your life to protect your marriage in the future.
7. Invest in other marriages.  Once your marriage is healthy and you’ve recovered, you will have valuable experience to help others.  Don’t be afraid to let God use you in this way.

This post addresses the offended party, not the one in an affair, but even for you, the word “affair” doesn’t have to end your marriage.  I’m praying for those who read this that it won’t mean that for yours.

Feel free to comment with tips, stories, resources, or suggestions of your own.  Our goal should be to strengthen and save marriages.

I tried to tell people. Next time follow my lead. Just kidding…kind of, but I was saying a year ago to watch out for Twitter and people kept making fun of my new hobby. Now we have Oprah, Ashton, and Andy Stanley on Twitter. Apparently it’s catching on fast in the world of sports too. Check this Tennessean story out!

Here are a few quick reasons I Twitter:

• Twitter is an easy way to stay connected.
• It updates Facebook automatically.
• It takes very little time.
• Applications like TweetDeck keep things organized.
• You will appear to be online more than you really are.
• People will feel you are more approachable and “real”.
• We trust most those we feel we know.

To all those, especially in our office, who made fun of me this time last year, I won’t even bother to say “I told you so”.

Follow me on Twitter.

Signs of the economy improving are all around. I read an article in Business Week Magazine about the positive things some companies are saying privately. Read that story HERE. Also, I understand Pepsi sales are up again. Prior to this people were drinking more water. (I guess one trade off for the economy improving is that we can hear again all the reports telling us that we need to drink more water.) That may be more significant than at first glance. Pepsi products are mostly an inexpensive “luxury” item. People don’t have to buy Pepsi. Are people starting to buy things again just because they want them? I seem to read encouraging articles about the economy everyday now.

With my background in business and having experienced stressful times with the economy myself, I frequently ask the business people in my church how things are going in their industry. In my own “research” lately I have heard a more pleasant tone from most of them and even a few enthusiastic replies. I hope this is a trend.

Since government economic numbers lag real time, we were technically in this current recession before we knew it. My prediction is that we will find months from now that the recession has already officially ended by this point and the recovery has slowly begun. I wish the national media would start to report all the upturn news more, besides just the stock market’s recent gain. (Keep in mind, unemployment may actually get worse before they get better, but all these other factors will increase first.)

The real key to economic recovery, however, will be the individual consumer’s response. People must feel better about things for their own situation. Are you personally starting to feel better about the economy?

I love interacting with seminary students.  As they have their minds stretched, they continue to stretch me attempting to wrestle through doctrine with them.  That happened this weekend with a young man who attended our church prior to his call to ministry.  We were discussing the concept of grace and I was reminded of a passage that has stretched my thoughts over the years.

Titus 2:11-12 “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us…”

You can read these verses in context HERE.  Verse 12 goes on to say grace teaches us “to say no to ungodliness and to live self-controlled”.  The concept that grabs my attention, however, is that grace teaches.  Grace is a broader term than just a granting of salvation.  Grace is…well…amazing!

What concepts of God and His Word are blowing your mind these days?