Winning Back The Heart Of Your Wife

In working with marriages in distress I’ve discovered that the men in their life have injured most women emotionally, at least at some level.  To understand how this is true, one need first understand one of the ways men and women are different.  Men, as predominantly thinking beings, receive and process experiences in life in a predominately rational and logical way.  If someone says something that offends a man, he will accept or dismiss it based on whether it is true.

Women are different.  Women are more in tune with their emotions.  When life happens to them their dominant reaction is to respond emotionally.  When someone hurts a woman’s feelings, even though the information they receive may be false, they have a harder time working through the feelings associated with the emotional injury.  (Of course these are general statements, but they ring true for most men and women.) Every woman’s heart is injured to a certain extent.

The heart, speaking in terms of the seat of our emotions, was created much like other parts of the body.  When a finger is broken the body is designed to instantly start to heal and protect itself from further injury. The same is true of the heart.  When a person’s heart is injured, it goes into a self-protective mode to keep it from further injury.  Over time, after years of injury, the heart becomes almost calloused, refusing to allow anyone to injure the heart again.  A woman who has had years of emotional injury doesn’t have much heart left to give to anyone, but especially to the one who has done the injury.  She has closed off her heart to keep from being hurt anymore.

Most men enjoy trying to “fix” problems, but men cannot fix their wife’s emotions.  Emotions are not repaired as easily as one could fix a leaking faucet or program a computer.  So what is a man to do if he feels his wife’s heart is injured?  How do you heal a broken heart?  Of course, Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor. He can come in, erase all the pain, and make the heart brand new.  Most of the time however, at least in my experience, He lets us wrestle with life’s heartache while we learn to better love one another.

The following steps are designed for a man to help heal his wife’s heart.  Recently a pastor came to me with a horrible story of his wife’s sexual abuse as a child.  Even today she struggles to trust any man, including her husband.  This is the advice I gave this pastor.

Practice Patience.
The first thing men need to do is to recognize that restoring a broken heart will not happen overnight.  Emotions heal very slowly.  Steps should begin to restore an injured heart or to rebuild the marriage, but men should not expect too much too soon.

Love Your Wife
This is by far their greatest need.  Most wives have their love need unmet. The standard for our love is perfection, since a man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church, so a man will actually never love his wife enough.  The wife knows, however, when the husband’s attention is somewhere else.  Most men sacrifice their marriage for their careers or other interests.  A wife’s love need is new every day.  A wife needs to know that she is second only to God in her husband’s affections.  I have found that for my love for my Cheryl to grow I need Christ’s help.  I pray for this often.

Romance Her
A woman has a need for romance.  Most wives had a fairy tale idea of marriage when they were growing up. They realize early in marriage this isn’t reality, but their need for occasional romance remains.  Men rarely know how to do this.  A man should be genuine, but should recognize and value the uniqueness of his wife and find ways to give her romance.  I gave my wife a “romantic” trip to New York City for Christmas one year. We were going to dance, walk through Central Park, and just enjoy each other.  It didn’t turn out exactly as I had planned it, but I earned huge points in the romance category with my wife.

Value Words
When a man comes home and says “This house is a mess”, being a mostly factual being, that’s probably all he meant.  He looked around, made a physical observation, and stated a factual conclusion. The wife, however, probably did not receive the information that way.  The wife most likely hears lots of negative information, such as, “You have done nothing all day”, or maybe even, “I don’t like you.”  That sounds impossible to most guy’s rational minds, but with emotions receiving information anything could be heard, whether that was the intended response or not.  Men need to learn how to be gentle with their wives and the words they use.   One question I ask men, “Would you let another man talk to your wife the way you talk to her?”

Communicate on Her Terms
Women communicate best heart to heart…not head to head.  A man should allow his wife to see his heart. He should be willing to be vulnerable with her.   Men may need to ask their wives to help them learn how to say things to her.  Men cannot talk to their wives as they would their guy friends.  Women require understanding, compassion, openness and honesty in communication.

Give Constant Assurance
Trust is an important need for a woman in relationships.  The wife needs to know that her husband is going to be faithful.  Men should not take offense, for example, when their wife asks details about their schedule or the activities of their day.  The wife desires to be a partner in her husband’s life and these details help her provide trust and security in the relationship.  A man should also tell his wife frequently that he loves her.  She needs this consistent assurance.

Learn to Live by Truth
Ultimately life cannot be lived strictly by emotions.  We need truth.  Emotions are often unreliable.  A woman who feels unloved may be very much loved by her family, but she fails to feel that truth because of years of emotional abuse.  Men should gently, but consistently speak truth in love, reminding his wife of her worth, her beauty, and her place in his life.  Over time truth, when given with love, can help heal damaged emotions.

Keep Doing It!
The heart is damaged over years and years of injury.   Sadly many women have deep and tragic heart wounds, but much of this injury will have been unintentionally delivered and small in terms of the magnitude of the incident.  Years of emotional injury builds up in the heart until the heart becomes closed.  The erasing of the pain will happen just as it was developed…a little bit at a time.  The husband cannot try this for a week and then stop.  Protecting a woman’s heart must become a lifestyle.

Recently I was talking with a man whose wife is experience deep depression.  As I talked with this man it became apparent that, though probably unknowingly, he had been damaging his wife’s heart for years.  He cannot seem to understand why his wife is so emotional; “Everything seems to upset her”, he said.    The man told me he had tried to help her through her problems and that everything they had going against them he could “fix” if she would let him.  I am not sure I could have ever convinced this man that his attempts at “repair” were probably one of the chief causes of his wife’s broken heart.

Most men tell me they don’t know how to be who their wife needs them to be or wants them to be.  I believe if we want to win back the heart of our wife we may need to learn how.  It’s never too late to begin!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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114 thoughts on “Winning Back The Heart Of Your Wife

  1. Hello friends.
    I would like to share my testimony. i want you all to understand that there is no problem without solution. You have to sometime give a chance to what other think is not real and see what happen at the end. I gave this great man chance when I lost my job, my family, friends, kids everything!!! I was divested so I started trying spell casters but it unfortunately it never worked until I found DR OKUDAYO. He just go straight to the point, he now how to fix my problems very well- I ordered two spells from him and both changed my life. From that day till now, my life have change for good. I got new job and I was promote last week. About my family, my wife and kids are back. It took only 1 week for him to show me the result… if you are having the same problem or any kind of life problems you can contact him via this email okudayomagictemple(at)gmail(dot)com,, James morga USA

  2. i just want to share my experience and testimony
    here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and
    all of a sudden, another woman came into the
    picture.. he started hailing me and he was
    abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and
    wanted him at all cost?then he filed for divorce..my
    whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what
    to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the
    kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual
    means to get my husband back and introduced me to
    a spell caster?so i decided to try it
    reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those
    things? then when he did the special prayers and
    spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was
    pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t
    believe it.. anyways we are back together now and
    we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his
    email address
    dr.kebiruahmed_spiritualtemple@outlook.com, his spells
    is for a better life. again his email is
    dr.kebiruahmed_spiritualtemple@outlook.com

  3. HI My Name is eric micheal , I wish to share my testimony with the general public about what this man called dr.ojokun of Ojokunspiritualtemple@gmail.com has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost family to me with his great spell, I get married a woman called jane,we were together for a long time and we loved ourselves,but when I was unable to make her pregnant she left me and told me she can’t continue anymore,then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave me his contact email Ojokunspiritualtemple@gmail.com,then you won’t. believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my

    lost wife back and after a month she missed her period and she went for a test and the result stated that she was pregnant, am happy today that am a father, thank you once again the dr.ojokun for what you have done

    for me, if you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can contact him today on his mail

    Ojokunspiritualtemple@gmail.com.

  4. I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD'S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS;dr.rivershebalist@gmail.com ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:dr.rivershebalist@gmail.com

  5. my Names is Daniel Caro ,AM from UK .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i ment a man called Dr Okoken, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was ndecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to Vancouver my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: dr.rivershebalist@gmail.com

  6. hello,i am From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OKORO has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email(DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) then you won’t believe this, when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast. and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my monthly period and i go for a test and the result stated am pregnant. am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR OKORO for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: you can contact him via Email; DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) Or you have been scammed and you want to recover your lost money (drokorotemple@gmail.com)

  7. hello,i am From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OKORO has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email(DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) then you won’t believe this, when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast. and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my monthly period and i go for a test and the result stated am pregnant. am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR OKORO for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: you can contact him via Email; DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) Or you have been scammed and you want to recover your lost money (drokorotemple@gmail.com)

  8. My Name is Adams xavi and i am from spain,I want to share my testimony

    with the general public about what dr. Ojokun has just done for me,this man has just brought back my lost family to me with his great spell caster, i married a woman called Rechael mara,we were

    together for many years and we loved ourselves,but when i was unable to make her pregnant 4years,she left me and told me she can’t continue anymore then i

    was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and she gave me his contact email: ojokunspiritualtemple@gmail.com,then you wont believe me,when i contacted this man on my problems and what required for the spell casting,he prepared this spell cast and after two days my

    lost wife came back to me and after a month my wife got pregnant,I am happy today am a father with a baby Bouncing boy, thank you once again the great ojokun for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through

    this same kind of problems of you need a lost love back or any kind of problems for you can contact him today on this email: ojokunspiritualtemple@gmail.com,and

    he will also help you as well and no negative effect…

  9. Hello reader I am nathaniel from ireland,I want to say thanks to ojokun spell temple for
    everything so far. To everyone who doesn’t believe in
    spell, I was one of those ones at first. I wasn’t quite
    sure if I wanted to do this since I’ve tried others so-
    called spells casters and they did not work and was a
    waste of my time and money. However, when I read
    through the testimonials of other people at this
    website and after I talked to Dr ojokun who
    answered all my questions and was very nice about
    everything, I decided to give it a try. I figured it would
    be my last try to get my girl back. So my story is that
    I was at my office when the girl I am in love with told
    me that he wasn’t in love with me and never will be
    and that he didn’t want to speak or see me again,
    especially since she was talking to this other boy. When
    I talked to Dr ojokun,he let me know which spells
    would be most appropriate for me and I choose the
    one that was to get him back to me and stay with me
    and want to marry her. As soon as he started on the
    spells, my girlfriend came back into my life! It was a
    miracle to me and I’m so thankful for that. Things
    have been going well, and thanks much according to
    what Dr ojokun the spell has done. I’m still waiting
    for the spells to completely manifest, but with all that
    has happened so far I’m very happy because given
    only four months ago, if you asked me or my
    friends if I would have anticipated how things were
    right now…no one would believe it! . To contact
    him ojokunspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  10. want to give a special thanks to DRCUBATEMPLE that helped me got my partner back. my name is SANDRA DICKSON, early this year, i and my husband started having some issues and he left me and the kids even when i loved him so much. I was fustrated to the extent that i started looking for links on the internet on how to get him back. One day i came accross a testimony in which a lady was testifying of how this DR; CUBA helped her got her man back i was able to contact this DR;CUBA and helped me put everything in order and my husband came back to me just as i wanted. this DR; CUBA is great if you know you have any problem here is his email address DRCUBATEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

  11. I am very happy, I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr Adodo has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, i was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self's but when i was unable to give he a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can't continue anymore then i was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (dradodojattotemple@yahoo.com) then you won't believe this when i contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month i miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Adodo for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can contact he today on his mail ( dradodojattotemple@yahoo.com) and he will also help you as well.

  12. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My name is james i live in Australia,and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{ideshispelltemple@outlook .com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {5}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {ideshispelltemple@outlook.com},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the ideshispelltemple for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{ideshispelltemple@outlook.c om}
    Thanks…

  13. A big thanks to DR cuba, who brought back
    my
    ex boyfriend. My name is sonia, from
    Canada. Last year, August
    26th 2012, I proposed to my
    ex boyfriend and she agreed to marry me then we both planned for the wedding. Our wedding was
    to hold September
    30th. We had a little
    misunderstanding and she left me for another
    guy. I almost committed
    suicide; I never knew there was hope for me, a friend of mine would always advise me to be
    hopeful and that one day she will
    come back to me, Some
    times I will go to his house to ask for forgiveness
    to come back to me because she
    really means a lot to me and I love her so much and she will ask me to leave her alone and I
    should never come to her
    house again. I found it
    really hard to fall in love with another girl, months
    passes by and I was
    waiting patiently for her to come back to me but in my heart I was still going through hell, there
    was a big hole in my
    heart.
    * *One morning I received a call from my friend
    and he told me to come to
    his house immediately, I quickly put on my clothes and ran to his house because I felt he was in
    trouble, when I got to he’s
    house, I met him on
    his computer system and I ask him what the
    problem was, he said when he was
    browsing through the internet, he came across some testimonies on how a spell caster brought
    someone’s ex husband back.
    I was angry with him
    because he frightened me and now he’s telling
    about spell caster. I told
    him to forget about the matter because I never believed in spell casters, he asked me if I really
    want my ex boyfriend to
    come back to me and I said
    yes so he said I should give it a try because if you
    really need something
    that is very important to your life, then you go for it. I agreed to what he said and I took the spell
    casters email address
    and I emailed him, few
    minutes later he replied me and asked what can
    he do for me so I told him
    what I wanted and he asked me to do what ever he asked of me which I did. He told me not to
    worry that my ex boyfriend will
    come back crawling on
    his kneels asking for forgiveness as soon as he
    cast the spell so he cast
    the spell and the following day my ex boyfriend came back to me, right now I and my boyfriend
    are happy. This is the reason I
    decided to put it in
    writing so that anybody that is hopeless will find
    the reason to be
    hopeful. If you are in the same situation, DR cuba is the right spell caster that will solve
    your problem, You can email
    him
    on: drcubatemple@gmail.com. try and
    see what he can do

  14. At some point as a man who respect themselves we have to be prepared to divorce.
    Its not our lives work to turn cold stone to warm flesh.

  15. i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to DR.agbadi who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to DR.agbadi and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address:dragbadilaguspelltemple@gmail.com or you can also reach him through his mobile number,+2347067607812

  16. Oh my God, I'm so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is JOAN. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home then for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he understand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR agbadi who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR agbadi cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR agbadi who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (dragbadilaguspelltemple@gmail.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.
    Thanks joan

  17. MY almost gratitude goes to DR wisdom for bring back my lover.my husband dumped me for another woman but by the grace of God we are now back with the help of DR Wisdom.I contacted drwisdomspelltemple@gmail.com concerning my ex husband and he guaranteed me of 3 days to my greatest surprise my husband came back to me in the third day i want to say a very big thank you.if you are in any kind of problem about your relationship you can contact him on;drwisdomspelltemple@gmail.com he will put a smile on your face.

  18. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is Dr EKUMABOR he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is dr.ekumaborspellhome@gmail.com

  19. I AM Jennifer from Canada i was propose to be marriage by a love one, but he suddenly changed his mind just because he found himself a new love, my heart was broken and so i was devastated to the extend of committing suicide a friend of my introduce me to a powerful doctor called DR.AKHERE when i first head of him i never believed his powers until i visit the De akhere spiritual temple of the great prophetic man DR.DR. AKHERE, a man of wisdom and understanding he helped me out after having some conservation with him, and my ex love who promise to marry me later came back to apologize to me, today we are happily married with two lovely kinds. All thanks go to doctor DR. AKHERE the powerful spell caster, if you need any help from him contact him with this email drakherespiritualtemple@gmail.com, he is very powerful beware. DR. AKHERE is a great man I love him is a man of prophetic word once again contact him at drakherespiritualtemple@gmail.com

  20. My Name is Jessica from Spain. I wish to share my
    testimonies with the general public about what this
    man called Dr obasela has just done for me , this
    man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me
    with his great spell, i was married to this man called
    Steven we were together for a long time and we
    loved our self’s but when i was unable to give he a
    child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t
    continue anymore then i was now looking for ways to
    get him back until a friend of mine told me about this
    man and gave his contact email
    (obaseladginkcaster@gmail.com ) then
    you won't believe this when i contacted this man on
    my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring
    my lost husband back, and after a month i miss my
    month and go for a test and the result stated am
    pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl,
    thank you once again the great obasela for what
    you have done for me, if you are out there passing
    through this same kind of problems you can contact
    he today on his mail
    ( obaseladginkcaster@gmail.com )

  21. Hi am miss Julianna from Philippine and am here to thank, praise and share my good experience with this DR UDUEHI of uduehisolutiontemple@yahoo.com, i got married at the age of 27 to the man i loved and we were both living together and when i was 29 i gave birth to a baby boy for my husband and we both thank God for the child. but when our marriage was 8 years old my husband was been transfer to work in Canada which is another country and just within two month of him been there i called my husband and a lady pick up the call and i tried as after my husband and she told me to go to hell and that was how this evil lady took over my husband and even week ends when he come to Philippine he don't even ask after me nor the child so i know that my husband was been captured by a devilish woman and i started looking for solution every where . so my friend from Africa refereed me to this man DR UDUEHI at first i must tell you friends i never wanted to work with the man but when i notice there was nothing i can i decided to contact the man on his email because i cant go to his temple as am in Philippine and when i told this man my problems i was very surprise when he said to Julianna your husband will come for you on Friday and to my best surprise after some few sacrifice to his temple on that Thursday morning and when i got to work on Friday i received a call from a strange number to my best surprise it was my husband and that was how Dr uduehi help me to win back my man with his love spell and today am happily living with my husband Mr Santos . so i ask the Dr uduehi of uduehisolutiontemple@yahoo.com how do i pay you for this he said no to and ask me to share the good news to the world so others can also hear and benefit so this is why am doing this .love you all

  22. my names are Leonard Wilsonian want to testify to the how world of my good experience with Dr UDUEHI the spell caster, my wife ran away from our marriage after 3 years of marriage because she was felt i was not the right man for her due to the fact that she was been deceived by her friends in her working place . and she also took our only son along with her so after she left i was not my self because i loved her so so much so i vowed not to rest until i am able to bring my wife back home because i knew she was be deceived by her friends so i began to look for what to do so one day as i was browsing i saw a post about this Dr UDUEHI of uduehisolutiontemple@yahoo.com on how he helped a lady to restored her relationship so i decided to give him try believe me when i tell my story to Dr UDUEHI him assure me three days my wife will come back home and that was what actually happened so with these great thing Dr UDUEHI has just done for me i have promise to always share his testimonies for others to hear bye

  23. My Name is : Fred Anderson ..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contact this man called DR OKUTA Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizingI NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD'S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS;okutaspellhome@gmail.com ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:okutaspellhome@gmail.com…

  24. my names are Leonard Wilsonian want to testify to the how world of my good experience with Dr UDUEHI the spell caster, my wife ran away from our marriage after 3 years of marriage because she was felt i was not the right man for her due to the fact that she was been deceived by her friends in her working place . and she also took our only son along with her so after she left i was not my self because i loved her so so much so i vowed not to rest until i am able to bring my wife back home because i knew she was be deceived by her friends so i began to look for what to do so one day as i was browsing i saw a post about this Dr UDUEHI of uduehisolutiontemple@yahoo.com on how he helped a lady to restored her relationship so i decided to give him try believe me when i tell my story to Dr UDUEHI him assure me three days my wife will come back home and that was what actually happened so with these great thing Dr UDUEHI has just done for me i have promise to always share his testimonies for others to hear bye

  25. I would appreciate prayers for my family.I have done a lot of damage and am wanting to change for the better.I am 3 1/2 years sober now and my ex has opened the door to Christian counseling.I am very thankful for this ,but am scared I will mess it up.Please ,someone pray for us.Thank you,Rob

  26. My name is Luciana, i was marred for the past 5years not problem between me and my husband, this years unfortunately my husband suddenly change against me, he does not longer gives me any attention, i was so upset cause i have never seen my husband in this mood before, so i try all i can to get him back, no way, i said i can not stand and be looking at another woman like me taking my husband away from me cause if it was not a woman that is doing it my husband can not stay a minute without not seeing me, then i go online with a spell cast called Dr Oje, i explain every thing to him, he told me what is behind every thing that makes my husband to be avoiding me, and he also ask me if i love him that much i said yes then he said OK, that i will get him back through him and i ask how, he gave me a procedures to to work with the i do every thing he ask me to do, 12.00am at night after two days my phone rang behold it was my husband number i quickly pick up the phone and i heard him begging for my forgiveness that if really i forgive him for what he has done to me he will never in his life made a mistake like that again, then i have no choice than to forgive him, really as early as 5.00AM i heard some one knocking on my door and i ask who is that it was my husband voice and i open the door he quickly go down on his knee and start begging me for forgiveness i raise his up and hug him, ever since till now we have been together with more love and respect, he love me now like never before, if you need any type of help kindly contact Dr Oje Cause he is the most powerful spell caster in all over the world, his email address is: temple.of.solution.center@gmail.com he is like a man that is been send to save the world, contact him now again on: temple.of.solution.center@gmail.com

  27. My name is miss.Praise Collins from U S A,i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit. i meant this man called DR.OBAS.is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 2 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 8 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 3days when i returned to U S A, my boyfriend is now my husband he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for any kind of help, Email:obasspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  28. I really miss my wife and wish and pray every night that I could turn back time to the days of happiness but I feel like I'm losing an endless battle. If there is 1 wish I could have or 1 last pray I could pray it would be to have my wife say she loves me and move on from this nightmare

  29. Every weekend she goes away with the kids and leaves me home alone which then I start feeling very sad and depressed, I work very hard for my family as we are a single income family and our over head its extremely high. She has some church friends from the church that we used to go to that tell her to leave me and judge me for what I have done and not for who I am.

  30. We live very separate lives and very rarely do anything together. I have recognized the faults that I have caused and am working extra hard to not go back to that life style but yet she doesn't seem to accept the change and progress I am making. She lives in the past and rehashes all the negative things I have done which in return sets me back. I try so hard to show her how sorry I am and that I am changing for the better but yet anything I do is not go enough.

  31. Wow I am so happy I came across this website and by reading all the post I feel that I'm finally not alone. I have been in an 8 year common law relationship with the most wonderful woman any man could be with, we have 3 beautiful daughters together and I am a very proud father to them. My wife and I are going through major issues in our life and I truly believe it is all my fault but others don't see it that way. I have done so much wrong to her that her heart has been shattered but yet we are still together.

  32. Why is it that when you are doing the best that you can to please her and then when something goes wrong it all goes out the window. Then they accuse me of never doing anything for her.

  33. I had doubts about magic spells after purchasing many spells that never worked and actually decided to never buy a spell again. I have tried different casters.. Some of them never answered me after I paid and were obvious scammers, some really cast a spell but for some reason it didn’t work. Then I saw a video on youtube with a person who was mentioning she had results with DR,Anita. Despite the suspicions I had her site looked real so I gave spells a last try. It’s probably the best decision I ever made in my life because it worked and my boyfriend came back with me After I broke up with my ex I spent a lot of time wishing that I could just turn the clock backwards.He helped me do just that. In fact our relationship feels like the break up never even happened. We have never been this happy or passionate, all thanks to mama anita. If you’re looking for a good spell caster look no further, MAMA ANITA surpass all other spell-casters,you can contact her straight on (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com) mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com .

  34. My name is Jeremiah, my girlfriend and i have been together
    for over 6 years now, in the last few weeks i have been having problems with her, I do love this woman a lot and do want to get married to her but at times i did feel a little confused about this and has wondered if she has been true to the relationship…until i found king son, who told me that she was not being true with me..I did later find out that she has been seeing her ex boyfriend I was devastated and did not know what to do, although I still loved her and could not see myself with anyone else, I did not want to lose her and king son assured me that they could help me with
    this problem, he told me about a spell caster DR.LAWREES i decided to give it a trier so I contacted.. lawrees24hrspellhome@gmail.com once again to let him know that I did want to get help with this. With the powers that they
    do have my girlfriend and I did work a lot of things out and she has came back to me and we are now back together and engaged I did get over the fact that she has cheated on me but sometimes we do need to forget the past and move on to a better future and without king son' help I don't think it would have ever worked out.he is truly an Angel sent from up above!

  35. Hi there, Over the past few days, I have been doing some serious soul searching. I am devastated. Received an EMAIL from my wife of 21 years (2 small kids), that she wanted a divorce. I have been under huge financial (Lost my large business) and emotional turmoil (Family member passing) for the past year, and have not paid much attention to her. She also travels a lot. Up to 4 weeks at a time. I know there are other men out there giving her the emotional attention she is craving. I have had therapy for the past 6 months and recently opened my own business again. I am stronger and have a spring in my step. I feel it might be too late.
    What can I do, to change her mind.. I love her with all my heart, and can’t go through with more emotional turmoil tight now. Any suggestions from a practical point. We start Divorce mediation in a few days. I have laid my troubles to the Lord, and asked for forgiveness, and guidance..Thanks for a great read..

    • You can't change a heart. God can. You can only do actions which may influence. I would encourage you to get counseling even if she won't go. Get it for yourself.Then find the book “How to save your marriage alone” by Ed Wheat. Short little helpful book. Praying for you.

  36. Hi My name is "john" just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it… You can email him via ekpensolutionspellcasting@gmail.com Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.

  37. Thank you. I am in a situation where I am living in the basement separate from my wife. I have hurt her over time just like you wrote, I didn't even know it. I have left her feeling alone even though I am always here. I work and come home. I love being home. Being with my family, but I apparently were only here in body. I feel as low as I can after she told em this and she is so angry with me. I am doing many of the things that you said to do but I struggle to not try to "fix" it overnight. I have never felt such pain and my eyes have been opened. I want to love her so much and comfort her. I understand her lack of "trust". I don't know what to do. I text her daily and tell her I love her. I'm careful not to over do it. I give her space and am working on patientence. I feel like I should DO something but I don't know what. I am amazed at all the similar stories on here. I can't believe how bad men hurt their wives.

  38. Ron, I’ve been married for 15 yrs & together for almost 18 yrs. I had a number of yrs of drug abuse, 4 yrs ago my wife left & I got sober. We reconciled after 8 months apart. After 3 yrs of being sober, I tried to drink, and did the last yr. my wife told me she had enough & was done with me. I went back to AA, but we split up a week ago. She says she cares for me, but isn’t in love with me. I know I was wrong, but how can I get her & my 3 kids back? I’m in a lot of pain, and asking God for help

    • Jim, I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you a quick remedy or easy answer to get your family back. I can't. This will depend on her as much as you. I can suggest you continue to work on you. That's the best thing for you and your family, even if only for your kids, regardless of what happens.That was my day's story. He got his family back only after we were adults and he was 15 years from the end of his life, but he died a happy man. I'd hope your life ends as well as he did, but sooner, but most of that depends on you and not them.Praying for you.

  39. I lost my 4 years marriega during June. My husband left me with so many pains and since then i have been heart broken and shattered. I have contact 6 spell casters and 2 of them has rip me off my money without any result. I have emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by a 26 years old woman to AYELALA SHRINE At first i never believed him because he was requesting for some amount of money to buy items, it took him three weeks to convince me and something occur to mind and i said let me give him a trial.I was very shocked when Ruben called four days after i sent Prophet Osuls the items money. He apologies for all he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because he proposed to me last night. I will advise you contact Email: ayelalashrine@gmail.com María

    • What in the heck is a spell caster? Not trying to be rude, but I'm reading these deep heartfelt messages and wonderful supporting replies then I get to your post and I'm completely baffled. What in the hell are you talking about?

  40. Thank you Ron for your website; I found it last year when my wife of 16 years left me…. She hadn't physically left (yet), but she told me she didn't like me, didn't want to be married to me, and wan't sure if she even loved me. But she had definitely already left emotionally. And as an added kick in the teeth, she had opened her heart to someone else.
    Through those struggles and pain, God stretched me. He more or less used that crises to break me and remake me. God is always faithful, even when we are not; He never gives up on us… He always wants more for us and from us. To be frank, it was gut-wrenchingly difficult, and my heart goes out to every man here who has suffered the loss of a wife's love (because I've been there)… But to love her as Christ loves the Church is a husbands God given obligation (even when there's no reciprocation,) and that's something we cannot do by our own strength.
    I encourage you to seek godly counsel, pray with/for your wife, stay in the Word daily, and make it your ambition to be the most God fearing husband, father, and man you can be; trust in God to be your all! It must be Christ shining through us for any real chance at winning back the heart of a wife. Of course, there is no sure-fire solution to winning back the heart of your wife, but one thing is for sure, if you sincerely take the steps here as Ron suggests, you will be a better man for it, and in a better position for God to use you in regards to your spouse.
    Today, by His grace, my wife and I are living out a marriage that brings honor and glory to Him! Our's is a testimony to His unfailing love and power. He has redeemed our marriage; He has renewed our hearts and minds… He has graciously restored our love & admiration for each other. In short, He worked a miracle for our relationship, and now we are enjoying each other like never before!
    I pray that men who find this will be encouraged. Love her for her, and do it for Him… Please allow God to use you to minister to your wife.

  41. God has forgiven me and has helped me to forgive me and now as I search for a place to live away from our home I ask for your prayers that my wife is able to forgive me even if she can't bring herself to continue in our marriage.

  42. Thank you so much for this article, I can totally relate to everything as I am in this position with my wife at the moment. The part that has touched me the most and helped me through the last few days is when you said Jesus could erase the pain and make the heart new, but more often he lets us wrestle the heartache while we learn to better love each other. What a powerful message that is, and what an impact that has had on my thoughts for our future. Having turned my back on god the last few years and questioned my faith, reading that simple sentence makes me realise that god never turns his back on us, his children. I am now so positive that I am going to be a much better person and a better husband to my loving wife. Thank you so much. Richard x

  43. Ron,
    I cannot believe how many of us men make the same mistake. My beloved wife of 31 yrs told me she has lost herself in trying to make me happy and wants out. I realized that I have clinical depression and have just started taking meds and seeing a counselor. We still live together (in separate rooms) and I of course have been trying to give her space and have been reading everything I can to learn how to love her the correct way. We talk occasionally and she says there is a small glimmer of hope.

    I have been praying.. but I admit I am selfish. I pray for her to be happy (but of course, with me). I pray to God that I can be the man she needs, to be happy.

  44. my wife of 10yrs left me,and only 2weeks after we sepersted was seeing another man. i found this out from a friend of hers.I love my wife and confronted her on this.She says she broke off the relaisonship,i have not been a good husband and she keeps telling me she needs time! why is she with him and why wont she give me a chance? We seem to fight all the time and its mostly because i keep asking her to give me a chance! She says she needs time to her self but i know she is still talking to him and its killing me! We have 4 children and we have fought in front of them and i know now we can do that! i cant seem to stop myself from bring up us,she will not let me touch her or stay at the house!What do i do?

  45. I finally told him what I was going thru, and he essentially told me to "get over it". He was angry at me for still being hurt. He, in fact, saw himself as a victim because I refer to his past behavior as abusive, and to him as being an abuser. This is classic for him. His accusation against me is always that I am verbally abusive. He uses a "victim mentality" to insulate himself from the truth about himself. Once, he was yelling insult after insult at me, and when I told him that he could believe those lies if he wanted to, but I didn't, he was horrified that I had called him a liar! Again, I had verbally abused him! **gasp**

    Of course, it's irrational. He has a crazy irrational need to deny what he has done, who he has been and continues to be just because he refuses to admit it. But he must have admitted it on some level, to be able to stop being abusive, right?

    The sad part is that he has a wife and step-daughter who know exactly who he is and what he has done, and we love him anyway. God has helped us immensely, my daughter and I, and we rejoice in His healing work in our lives, but my heart is still wounded by my husband's refusal to acknowledge my pain. And I think until he does, I need to be aware that it could happen again.

    I am wounded and hurt, and sometimes feel myself growing cold to him. He has been distant with me since a few weeks ago when I told him that I was still wounded by the past. He told me I had attacked him and it is up to me to "fix it". And frankly, I don't care that much. But I do. I want a happy, safe, nurturing marriage, and man alive, if I could change something in me to magically make it so, I would. But I suspect that this is a 2 person deal, and that is scary to me.

    I guess I write all this to get it out, and to ask you to pray. I don't know what to do about how I feel, other than keep talking to God and work on forgiving my husband for the new wounds. How do I not close my heart for protection? I don't know if I am brave enough to remain open….

    • Sadly, the man always seems to want to "get over it" before the woman is able to. Men heal emotionally much faster than women. I would very much recommend the two of you read the book and perhaps do the accompanying Bible study of "Love and Respect". See the ministry here: http://www.loveandrespect.com/ Praying for you.

      • Thanks, Ron. I'll check out the site and see if I can get the book.

        I think one of the reasons my husband has "healed" faster is that, and I know this sounds self-serving, but I really do think it is true, he has less to heal from. He was not physically assaulted. He was not criticized and verbally battered for days on end. In the first 2 years of our marriage, I lost my temper on my own w/o an attack from him, only twice. It may make one furious when one is lying and someone calls them a liar, but it doesn't wound in the same way as if he was innocent. When he was angry, there were no limits on what he would say, even telling me that his ex-girlfriend was better in bed than I am, repeatedly.

        I think he doesn't lie in bed at night fighting the litany of names and insults because there isn't one. Plus, it is in his best interest to "forget" a period of his life where he violated every principle that he valued for himself as a man, a Christian and a husband. He's in hiding.

        I've repented of the things that I have done, and I feel forgiven. Despite the provocation, I know that if I had turned to God in a greater way, He would have helped me maintain self-control and a loving attitude towards my husband. I feel free of these failings. I am just not free from the wounds.

        Thanks so much for praying, Ron. I know that the answer lies in God and his wonderful healing, redemptive power. Also, His protection for me and my child. We serve a truly awesome God!

    • Kelly, I see this post was several years ago so you may not ever even read this. If you do happen to see this, and if you are still married, then please read "Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. Also, read "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. Check out Leslie Vernick's website as well as her videos on You Tube. This is domestic violence. Educate yourself about it! Google "cycle of abuse." Read. Check out DV blogs like "Hope When There Was None" by Melinda Kunst. Pinterest is loaded with articles about this very thing. A safe, free, anonymous place to call 24/7 is the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. They are very helpful and keep no record of your call. They are non judgmental and can give you as much or as little help as you want. They do not pressure you. Their number is 1-800-799-7233. If your husband is abusive, then your biggest hope which lies in your hands, is to learn more about it, so you can make informed decisions. Domestic Violence is a beast all its own. A woman (or man) can be as perfect as perfect can be, but if they are married to an abusive personality, it will never be enough. Learn, read, call, ask, educate.

  46. My husband and I went thru a time a few years ago when we were newly married where we were both very discouraged and depressed. My depression manifested itself in withdrawal, introspection, and sorrow. I am also chronically ill and the stress of our situation made my illness worse, so I was in a lot of physical pain.

    My husband's depression expressed itself in extreme irritation, anger, aggressiveness and even violence. He was especially irritated at my unhappiness, which was caused by a series of losses and betrayals by my church and family, including the loss of all of my close friends but one. I kept telling him that I just needed some time to work out my hurt, but he was hurt too and was demanding that I "get it together" emotionally as well as physically so that I would make him feel better. Of course, I struggled to deal with my feelings in this kind of pressure, and physically I was not well and couldn't do anything about it! I began to get angry, and even to respond to his violence with violence, throwing things back at him, slamming doors, breaking things, etc.

    He kicked in doors, including the bathroom door while I was in it, threw things at me, broke things in the house, pushed me, cornered me so that I couldn't get away from his angry lectures, flicked a lit cigarette butt into my hair, and purposely tried to startle unexpectedly because the stress would increase my physical pain (I also have heart problems). Eventually his physical violence against me became dangerous. I soon realized that when I reacted to his violence with violence, I was giving him weapons to use against me. If I confronted him on his violent behaviour, he would just accuse me of being the same. He would be angry and aggressive for days at a time, but if after 3 days of misery I lost it and mouthed off or threw something, I would become the focus, the "problem".

    So I stopped reacting and just focused on avoiding him when he was in a rage. My daughter from a previous marriage and I had to escape the house twice for our safety. We were separated for months at a time after those 2 incidents.

    The past few years have been different. I believe God healed him from his depression, as he has not suffered the irrational, days-long, aggressive anger for years. He is much more patient, and is willing to work on himself and handles negative things much better now. When he hurts me and I tell him, he is usually repentant rather than defensive. He has made remarkable changes, and I am proud of him.

    I believe that he has done this with the help of God, as we rarely talk about the violence of our first few years. I avoid it because of the anxiety attached, and because even though he has changed, he is still fiercely protective of himself as far as recognizing that he was a violent, abusive man. The few times we have talked about it, he has tried to defend himself by blaming me. This makes me so angry and hurt, I risk losing control of my tongue. But I am realizing that I carry a lot of rage in me because of the horrific things he did and said to me. I have forgiven him, I think, because I am able to feel love for him and to enjoy being in his presence and our intimate life is special. But whenever we disagree on something, I find rage rising in me and I can become vicious, verbally. When he gets irritated or angry, it frightens me, which I think must be normal, but my fear leads to anger. Because he hasn't openly confessed to me and repented to me, I feel like there is a part of our "oneness" that cannot be reconciled, no matter how much I forgive. Is that possible?

    • Yes, it's possible and I've seen it happen many times. Is it easy? No. Is there great work to be done. Absolutely. Most couples give up in the challenge it seems. Most changes like this take years. I'm praying for you to have patience, supernatural strength, and an overwhelming sense of God's love and provision.

  47. I'm very happy I found this blog and know that I'm not alone. I'm not proud to say that I have not lived my life very well the last 2 years, and especially the last 6 months. Though it was unintentional, I have pushed my wife down and hurt her more than anyone deserves. Ever since she failed out of her nursing program all I could think about was how it was going to affect us financially. She came to me to tell me she failed out and all she needed was a hug and to be told it was okay. Instead I just got angry and turned away. Ever since then I have not had an encouraging word to say. Instead I hid away from the world in the basement and forced her to make all the decisions. A week ago she was ready to leave me (and I don't blame her). Looking back now I see all the times she tried to talk to me and I just didn't listen. I was so wrapped up in my schooling and what I was trying to do, I turned everyone away. To make matters worse, I would tell anyone else that asked that it wasn't her fault, that 75% of the students failed out and that it was more on the teachers than the students. However, I couldn't tell her that. The one person that needed to hear it.

    She has changed her mind… sort of. We are still living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, though not close together. The hard part is she will talk to her family about things, but refuses to speak to me about the matter. If I bring us up, she gets extremely angry and says she doesn't want to talk about it. If I try to play along then things go smoothly, for the most part. There is still no hugging or intimacy involved in any way, either emotional or physical, not that I expect there to be right now.

    To make matters more complicated, I am supposed to leave for a month of military duty in 3 months and then to pharmacy school (which is almost 4 hours away and lasts 4 years) shortly after that. While a month apart may help, I'm afraid if I go to school that our marriage won't survive, but she absolutely refuses to hear of me not going. I think she's afraid that if I don't go I'll blame her for it later. I just don't know how to make her understand that all I want is for our family to stay intact. My father in law thinks that the time apart may help, but I just don't see it.

    My father-in-law says she's willing to give me another chance, but it's so hard to not get down sometimes.

    • Chad, thank you for sharing your story. Your transparency is refreshing and that attitude will hopefully help you to bring restoration to your marriage. I'm praying for you. The process that got you here didn't happen overnight. Don't think that resolving or restoring the marriage will take any less time. Hang tight!

      • Thank you Ron, and thank you for this site. Just knowing that there are those like you out there is more encouraging than you can know. I just hope I haven't ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.

  48. Hi again, Ron,
    just wanted to say thanks for the links
    I wanted to give you a brief history of my marriage,
    my wife became a very right wing religious enthusiast, talking in tongues, seeing things floating in the air, silly prophecies about the weirdest things, lightning bolts splitting pulpits in church, and hearing God's voice telling her to do all kinds of things. She claims it was God that told her to divorce me.
    I tried and tried to show her in the bible that these things weren't so, but, met with the utmost resistance to it
    One day she demanded that I start tithing or we were going to be in court,,I just about spit
    the more she pushed it on me, the less I wanted it,,
    I lived that way for a long time,,even going to the doctor to get anti-depressants because of the anger it was causing.
    I finally blew it, and committed adultery,,,
    now, after nearly 5 years, I've tried and tried but as I said, she is really involved with this ministry from Florida, I'm sure you know who I'm talking about
    I initially contacted them because I wanted to save my marriage, but, this guy was into all of the speaking in tongues and prophecies, which she embraced and I didn't
    they supported her claim that God told her to divorce me, and so many other things that I couldn't find in the bible. It actually worked against me
    now she's involved with their forum, claiming all kinds of abuse, and helping people save their marriages by filing for divorce to get their husbands to change.
    I wonder what I'm doing actually wanting to go back to that, but, I can't help but feel that a family is "supposed" to be together,,,
    I understand a lot more now than I did then, and I"ve found it's hard to move on when you have children still at home,,
    so, as far out as I am,,,
    is there a way back?

    • I'm not going to lie to you Mark. It sounds pretty hopeless from your perspective apart from a miracle of God. I will say, however, that I've seen those miracles many times. Many other times I've seen God allow people to make very bad decisions on both sides of the marriage. I'm praying for a miracle on your end. I don't know when to tell you to let go of this and move forward with your life. I'm obviously not close enough for that. I hope you surround yourself with people that will challenge you, but give you loving guidance. You need a couple of people close enough to the situation to help you make some wise choices right now. Praying for you.

  49. Hi Ron, it's so nice to come across a page where someone professes the love of Christ and is actually in the marriage's corner. I've been divorced for nearly five years now. during my divorce I got involved with a couple from Florida by typing in a plea to God in my browser. I wanted to save my marriage so badly. It was through them that my marriage eventually was deemed dead. I still love my wife, or should I say my former wife. we still have minor children.
    I've read of marriages being healed and remarriage after divorce.
    I just really want to be back with my family, but, my wife is so involved with this couple from Florida still that there is no way I could ever do the things that would win her back. at least I don't think so
    what would you recommend?

    • Mark, that's a very difficult question to answer from what you've shared. I do believe marriages can be restored and that God still does miracles. I don't know what to advise if your wife is not open to considering talking to you. I will say that begging her is never attractive, but assuring her you love her, yet showing strength. You might consider a letter to her. I wrote details of an idea of how to do that in this post: Reply

  50. I so agree with what Cindy above said. I was thinking the same thing. I wish my husband would read this and take it to heart. I know that he would not. I can so understand what the wife was feeling in the "Keep doing it" I am so there and I think that my husband would be that exact way is someone was trying to tell him that. Thank you so much for sharing this Ron. So many men need to read this and know that it is so true.

  51. Three parts of this blog are significant to me.

    First, "A wife’s love need is new every day." Sometimes it's new every hour, sometimes every few minutes. One minute we can feel like we have all the love we ever need and then some, and the next the tank is completely empty. Sometimes it's something happening in real time that we can identify as a reason for that need, sometimes it's a memory of a time when a painful incident occurred, and other times it may just be that we've been so busy doing our own things that we haven't spent enough time together and realizing the distance we allowed or created.

    Second, the entire paragraph entitled "Give Constant Assurance". When that assurance is absent, if I blame my husband for his distance I could harbor resentment or bitterness, and if I blame myself for the distance I can become discouraged or apathetic. Both only contribute to the problem. God can give us constant assurance of his love, and our husband's aren't God. However, God's design for marriage is that the marriage relationship is to be held in high regard above all other human relationships. For me, keeping my focus on Jesus while things aren't right with my husband is doable, but makes for a horrible day.

    Third, the paragraph about "Practice Patience" is essential, I believe, when a husband sins against his wife or vice-versa. It is just as selfish, I believe, to demand instantaneous forgiveness as it is to sin against one another to begin with. Sure, we are thankful to know the truth, but it sure is hard to be happy and grateful about sin in our spouse and brokenness in our marriage. Some sins really need time to be dealt with, and sweeping them under the carpet with only a trite "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" for the sake of "peace" is like taking off the tops of weeds in the back yard, closing the back door, and hoping that in time they will go away by themselves. Confessing sin that was going on for years, like pornography or masturbation, reframes the past, present and future. Sure, for the husband, it may have happened in the past, but for the wife just finding out, it's like being told she has cancer. She doesn't really know how much there was, is, or if it will come back, and it's really hard to get reassured of something that she can't see. Trust is proven performance over time, but how can some things be proven and how can she ever really know things are better when she didn't know what was going on before? Shattered vows take years to mend. Men who seek greater satisfaction or fulfillment through "appreciating the beauty of other women" think they are getting more, but in the long run they are robbing themselves and their marriages of the only real satisfaction or fulfillment they will ever be able to know. Spouses who spend years hurting one another will need to exercise a lot of patience if they want to fix the damage they caused.

  52. Wow, other people are experiencing the same thing I am. This is a very difficult process for me to work through. My wifes heart is closed to me. We have made progress over 6 months of going through this and she now says she loves me again. It is when we cross over to any issue of the heart she can't go there. What God has shown me is to love deeply(Christlike love), be patient, persevere, be faithful, and have no expectations of love being shown in return. This is a work that God must do himself. The most powerful thing I can do is Trust in the Lord… Really lean on Him and not try to "fix" her or change, manipulate, convince or anything else. God has been faithful to me in this situation. My counselor calls it "frozen feelings". It takes time for an iceberg to thaw. I believe my precious wife is worth the wait. God is doing a miracle. I am continuing to believe this…

  53. The mind is a fragile thing. Our emotions can over power our logical thinking and create barriers and breaks – sometimes I guess for self preservation. My story is very similar. Married nearly 20 years. Only recently did my wife “put her foot down” and told me I had hurt her for years. I was shocked. Logically I replayed my life and could only see that I wanted the best for us both. I see where some of those times I would even tell her she “shouldn’t feel that way”. Her emotions made no logical sense to me and I thought we were more alike so how could she “think and feel that way”. I’m sure some woman might read my post and think, “what a block head”, “what a jerk”. But you’d be thinking emotionally and not logically. I’m am now trying to think how my words and actions can affect my wife’s emotions which seem to be the main way she processes truth. This morning I wanted to read something and asked her if she wanted me to but she said no. I don’t know why, but I read it anyway and then had the nerve to ask her what she thought. For the life of me I don’t know why I did that but basically I wanted to share something with her I found profoundly interesting and I wanted to “enhance her life”. Oh, I wish I could see those times coming and plan a better course of action. I called just a bit ago and apologized for doing that after I started reading this column. Like a slap in the face I realized what I had done. God, please help me to be a better student of my wife. Help me to forgive myself for failing and the willpower to keep on going forward. I have to confess too that I have been in anguish for about 18 months off and on. there were some very serious dark and lonely times and it brought me to my knees. I came to a scary realization that I had practically been worshiping my wife. I had put her so first that God was second. I’ll not go into details what all that meant but I had to confess this to God and remind myself who created me and all he has done for me. And no matter what my wife may do, I was ultimately never going to turn my back on God. He has never failed me but people often do. I have found much advise and counsel over this hard time of my life and want to thank all those like Ron who offer it and from others like myself who share there experiences so I did not feel alone and used much of it as warnings and instructions on how to redeem so much lost life.

  54. So, lower than this would be discovering your wife woke up today thinking of harming herself and spending the next 12 hours getting her seen in an ER and having her mad as hell at you. We’re home, but she’s hardly speaking to me. At least she assured me and the folks in the ER she won’t kill herself. I am praying for the bottom to hit soon. I don’t know how much further I can fall.

    Thanks for praying.

  55. Ron, Thanks for your encouragement and prayer. i told my wife at one point today that I was seeking your prayer and advice. She seemed startled but glad. I did confront her this morning before I saw your reply. I don’t think I did it very well. I tried to talk with her item by item in her email. She says she’s told me everything, and she seems truly sorry for this. I guess I’m faced with accepting that she is being truthful that she has told me everything or suspecting that she’s still withheld info. out of self preservation or to protect my feelings. She really seemed broken and thinks I should hate her. I’ve told her that no matter what I’m committed, and I really love her. I think God has really worked on her heart in the last 24 hours, and she really seems committed to ending this relationship with the other guy, and committed to loving me. I told her about reading your post about bottoming out as we talked this morning. I’m hoping we’re there. I can’t imagine what lower than this would be like. I so appreciate your prayer. I have a friend here who’s a pastor, and he and I spoke this morning, and he’s praying as well. I also called this guy because he is a friend of mine and told him. I know what’s happened and it was horrible, and it needs to stop–in basically those words firmly and directly.

    Thanks.

  56. So, I thought things were really improving then this afternoon I went to open my email and my wife was still logged on and there was the email trail between her and our friend. She has at least had an emotional affair with him for awhile. She says it didn’t get physical, but I just went back to look at the emails and she had deleted everything between them except a draft she didn’t send to him. She’s seen him several times and I think it’s gotten physical. I want her so badly, but I want her to want me too, and I’m not sure that she is wanting to walk away from this guy. I’m desparate. Please pray and I’m open to suggestions.

    • Kevin, I am so sorry. When a spouse pulls away this is always something you suspect, but never want to believe. I can tell you that it becomes much more difficult when someone else is involved. If this is true, then my suggestion would be that you get to the bottom of it quickly. Still respectful and in love, with as much firmness, while at the same time kindness as you can muster, I think you must confront your wife about this information. If you need to do this in front of a counselor and if she will go I would do that. I wrote a post HERE about the need to bottom out sometimes before you can start to rebuild. If your wife’s heart is closed, there is little your actions will help until it starts to open again. God can obviously change her heart and she can too. We will pray towards that end.

  57. Thanks, Ron. My wife has been diagnosed with clinical depression and is taking medication for it. She really is on a rollercoaster of emotion these days which affects the whole family, especially our youngest kids. It seems that things have generally been getting better since my last post, but it’s still steps forward and back. Today was a really good day. She finally for the first time in 27 days told me she loved me, admitted how close she had come to cheating on me recently, but didn’t follow through. We spent a bunch of time together doing a variety of things we both enjoyed, but then it fell apart. She misread something I did, I got a little defensive, and it seems we’re back where we were a couple of weeks ago. I have a handful of friends who are praying for me, but in order to protect my wife from the embarrassment of them knowing her struggles. I haven’t shared specifics. Thanks for providing a safe place to share what’s going on. Please keep praying for us if you would.

  58. I’m reading this thread and thinking. This is exactly what I’m going through. I’d appreciate any of you praying for me and my wife too. I’ve only been aware of how seriously I’ve wounded my wife of 23 years over the last three weeks. I know I’ve hurt her at a few significant times, but I’ve learned from her that there have been a multitude of times where she felt dismissed, and I didn’t even realize I was wounding her heart. In the past I tried to fix her or defend myself. Now I find myself just wanting to identify what in me causes her pain and fix that. At the same time it seems that our four kids are going through stuff and adding stress, a car wreck, acting out, tantrums, and on and on. I never knew how much I’d want to hear her say, “I love you.”

  59. It looks like you are doing all you can at this point. Be patient and I and others will be praying for you. Trust is built slowly. The problems didn’t happen overnight and the solution won’t come quickly either.
    God bless

  60. I’m in a situation where I have hurt my wife’s heart for a long period of time. We’ve gone to counseling and God has worked deeply in my spirit to completely change the way I look at life and my wife. I’ve never had more love or respect for my wife than I do now and I just want to cover her with my love and protection and share with her the exciting things that He has done in my life. If she’d give me a chance I know that she would enjoy this person I have become. However, her heart is closed to me. She says that she has lost trust and respect and has tried for months to get back that emotional connection to me and can not. I am in prayer constantly over this issue. I’ve tried to get her to go back to our minister, but she says that she’s done talking for now. I’ve read your above article and I would love to interact with her on some of those levels that you mention, but she says that what she really needs is space and I am afraid that she is heading for a legal separation. Any thing I can do to encourage her heart without invading her space?

    • Jon, you have asked a question that so many have asked before. What do you do when the heart of your spouse is completely closed?

      Unfortunately you are in a hold pattern. Either God will open her hear, she will open her heart, or someone will encourage her to open her heart. Chances are that someone will not be you.

      There are few options for you at this point until her heart changes, but here are a few suggestions:

      1. Quit begging. This often is what someone in your shoes does, but it’s seldom effective and often very unattractive, making the situation even worse.
      2. Make wise decisions and do the right thing. Act the way you should have been acting all along. Often we let our emotions act for us at times like this, but that is seldom helpful.
      3. Continue to assure her that you love and care for her. This shouldn’t be overboard, but consistent.
      4. Work on your own personal development…spiritual, physical, mental, financial, etc. You’ll be a more attractive person and better able to handle the future, whatever it brings.
      5. Continue to pray as you have been. That is always the right thing to do.
      6. Consider writing a letter. Sometimes we express ourselves better in written form during these times. I wrote a post about that: http://www.ronedmondson.com/2008/09/do-you-need-to-write-a-letter.html
      7. As a last resort, offer her a way out in exchange for a series of counseling. It’s a risky bargaining tool, but if there is any hope for the marriage to get better it is sometimes worth the risk. I have seen many marriages saved through counseling, and I’m not sure the ones that didn’t make it would have made it without the counseling. At the least counseling helps people be better prepared to move forward with their life.

      One thing is certain, things will not get better unless something is done and I would assume you don’t want to live the rest of your life like this, so the sooner you move forward with some plan to sooner things can begin to change one way or the other. I will be praying for you.

  61. Ron, Thank you for the response. Yes, early on I was probably on the edge of begging. I've learned to put it in His hands and that's stopped. With the newly found spirit that God has put in my heart and life, I've tried to encourage her spiritually with emails that I was sending her, but I think she took that as not giving her the space she says she needs so I've stopped sending them. I've told her that right now the main thing I want to do is honor her and I'm trying to do that by honoring her request for space. We're trying to live apart while in the same house. It's not that we don't interact at all, but I am trying to be someplace else that she is not whenever possible. I'm also trying to avoid the next step which would be separation. When we are together I am always complementary of her or something that she has done (not going overboard). Prayers at dinner are more meaningful and I've not been critical or angry at anything for 6-7 months. I am trying to display to her my sincere change of heart and attitude. I"m also praying that she would talk to our minister or one of her good friends about this… I know it would help.

    I realize that this is a long process, but it hurts when she smiles and hugs the kids, but is only polite to me. I appreciate the prayers… they are highly coveted.

    • I am in the same position as you. After years of not seeing that my bitterness was causing deep wounds, my wife stopped responding to me, she had an affair (which she now regrets) but is still very closed hearted to me. It hurts to see her so kind and patient with everyone around her but me. I told her many times that I am sorry for neglecting her the past 8 years and that I really want to have a thriving marriage with her. My biggest mistake now is just like you mentioned about how I don't give her space when she demands it. I truly hope your situation is getting better. Since your post is quite old, I would be curious to know if your situation has improved. God bless!

  62. I am trying to figure out all the ways I have gone wrong and all the hurt I have had a part in creating. I struggle with patience after being shut out for 5 years. I struggle with a complete lack of response regardless of how I try. Communications is difficult because I feel and find, whatever I say is wrong. I’m not a quitter, but how much is enough and what else can I do?

  63. Hey, If you have any suggestions for the wife then I would love to hear that sometime as well. This is something I wish my husband would hear at this time but I know that he would not. Thank you for sharing this. It is awesome.

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