This weekend is for Cheryl. I have a few business things (very important, but very short time commitments) to do out of town, so I decided to take Cheryl with me and make it a long weekend. We’ll hang out, eat, sleep, laugh, attend another church, and reconnect. It’s been a long few months. As an accountant, she is in the middle of tax season. As a pastor, I am in the middle of people’s lives. The demands of ministry have certainly increased in the last few months.
With a master’s in counseling, and years of experience dealing with the hurts of other people’s marriages, I have realized the importance of safeguards in a marriage. I know it’s time for us to get away and regroup when a few signs appear in our marriage.
Here are a few of the things I look for:
1. The Biblical model of marriage is that the “two shall become one”. When I see us drifting further apart rather than closer together I know we need a break. (This is the number one clue.)
2. When our conversation becomes more tense or short-fused with each other.
3. When too many nights go by without us spending quantity time together.
4. When we have pressing issues we need to discuss.
5. When either of us is at a point of stress overload for an extended period of time.
6. When my spirit says, “Get away!”
All of those have been factors in our marriage the last couple of months. I know I can’t continue to pour into others until God and Cheryl pour into me.
Do you need to get away with your spouse? Perhaps you don’t sense the need, but does your marriage need you to get away for a few days?
Don’t stop investing in your marriage!
Ending Note: Obviously, as a pastor to many military families, much of this post is not helpful to you during times of deployment. It makes me think that maybe I need to write a post for those who are separated not by choice for long periods of time.