As a counselor and pastor who teaches on parenting issues, I can’t help observing the parenting I see in public.  Tonight at the supermarket I saw an extreme example of bad parenting.  I realize how difficult parenting is and we all have bad days, but thankfully the situation I witnessed tonight presents a couple of important lessons and reminders all of us need.

Situation:
A mother was shopping with her two small children, both I would guess between the ages of about 4 and 7 years.   The children were hyper, excited, and inquisitive.  In my observation they were not misbehaving as much as acting their age, but I had not been with them all day and have no idea what stress the mother was under at the time.  I’m not casting any judgment on her frustration, but looking at the situation from the outside, I think most of us can agree it was not the best way to handle it.

Several times in the course of a few minutes the mother yelled at her kids, “Shut up or I’m gonna break your teeth.”  (I’ve never heard that line before, but that’s what she said.)

Problem One:
The problem with that, aside from the abuse standpoint, is that even if she doesn’t intend to do this to her children, she’s talking to very literal thinkers. Does she realize what her children hear at that age?  “My mom’s going to break my teeth.”

Reminder:  Young children are listening and the way you communicate with them must be age appropriate.  Not to mention that children should never be scared of their parents.  Threats produce fear.  A reverent fear or respect is one thing, but terror is another.

Problem Two:
She said this several times, which probably means she never intended to follow through.  I’m glad she wouldn’t break her children’s teeth, but that really exemplifies another problem. When a parent makes a commitment to punish the child and nothing happens, the child begins to quickly learn there are no consequences for wrong behavior, and so the misbehavior continues, further frustrating the parent and the child.

Reminder:  Don’t make threats to your children you aren’t prepared to carry through.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  (Just be nice in how you say it and say it with love.)

Again, I’m not trying to pick on one mother.  I don’t know her and she will probably never read this blog.  I really do believe, however, that our children are too important not to continually evaluate our parenting techniques.

How are you doing in your parenting this week?  Since the ultimate goal of this post is to help parents, for some parenting tips, check out the parenting category of this blog.

I was reading this morning in Isaiah and the thought occurred to me, I hope my church never sings this song:

The Song of the Vineyard

I will sing for the one I love a song about his vineyard: My loved one had a vineyard on a fertile hillside.

The vineyard of the LORD Almighty is the house of Israel, and the men of Judah are the garden of his delight. And he looked for justice, but saw bloodshed; for righteousness, but heard cries of distress.

Isaiah 5:1-7 NIV

The Song of the Vineyard is sung when there’s fertile ground (ample opportunity), choice plantings (talented people), and a watchtower (strong leadership), but the vineyard (church) yields no good fruit.

This is a word for me as a church planter.  This passage is not talking about a lack of growth, it’s talking about the failure to produce a good harvest.  The goal at our church is the same as any other Bible-believing, Christ-honoring church.  We want to produce growing disciples of Jesus Christ.  We want people to look, act, and sound more like Jesus.  We want to be lovers of God and lovers of people.  We want to be holy, because He is holy.  If we keep that as our aim, and allow God’s Spirit to work His way in our midst, we will never have to sing the Song of the Vineyard.

You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven or above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. Exodus 20:4 NIV

The second commandment, much like the first, is easily dismissed as a not meant for me type of verse. I want to caution you not to close your mind to the application. Most of us, if we our honest with ourselves, will violate this command at some time, maybe quite often in our life.

Have you ever seen a picture of Jesus? What does Jesus look like? Close your eyes for a minute a get a mental image. You have one, don’t you? Is that what He looks like? Has the mass production of a $45 portrait become your image of the living God, Creator of the universe? Wasn’t He the same Jesus who appeared from nowhere among the disciples in the upper room shortly after the resurrection? Can your image of a mere man do that?

Did you wear your cross around your neck today? Was that the cross upon which Jesus die? Does the symbol give your comfort? Do you draw strength from it? What if you lost it? Would Jesus still have access to your heart, or is it only through that piece of metal that He can reach you?

Now, please understand, I am not asking you to take down your Lord’s Supper scene or take off your cross necklace.  I am asking you to consider the image you have of God. Is He more to you than a really good story? Is He more than the legend of the ages or the object on your grandmother’s Christmas card? Is He bigger than a fuzzy feeling in your heart? Is He God?

God is more than we give Him credit for being! The second commandment is to remind us and command us to give God the credit He deserves. He has no equal. There is no image to which you can compare Him adequately. There is nothing wrong with having something around your neck to remind you of your love and devotion to Jesus, but it is not a replacement for that personal relationship.

“To whom (or what) will you compare me? Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One. (Isaiah 40:25)

To whom? Tell God today that everything pales in comparison!

Cheryl went to a baby shower recently. I dropped her off and asked how long she would be.  She said, “No more than two hours.”  At first I thought she was joking, but then I realized she was serious. It turns out it took two hours.  So my question is: Why does a baby shower take two hours?  Twenty women sit around a circle, one opens gifts, there’s some “oohs and ahhs”, everyone eats a cookie and drinks some punch and you go home.

Let me organize your next baby shower and I can have you out in less than 30 minutes.

Just sayin….

Oh, and just in case you have some idea of inviting guys to your next baby shower, please let me save you the time. I am busy that day.

Just sayin….

Yesterday I spoke to our church about the law, but I did not have time to talk about each of the Ten Commandments. Over the next ten days I will share some devotionals about the Ten Commandments I have previously written for my devotional ministry.

I need to be very clear on this truth, Jesus paid every debt of the law.  Read Romans, Galatians, and even Jesus own words in Matthew 5:17.  Jesus didn’t come to do away with the law, He came to meet its righteous demands, which we could never meet on our own. Still, the law today has value in showing us the things God values, how we don’t measure up, and our desperate need for His grace. The law is a good reminder of the things that matter most to God.  As I share this series, I’m thanking God for His grace.

Commandment One:

You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 NIV

Is there anything in your life that has come between you and your relationship with God? I apologize if I am stepping on some toes, but this is a fair question. No, I’m not asking if you use an Ouija board to predict and plan your life. I’m not wondering if you worship your car or bow down to your TV.

I’m asking if there is anything or anyone you put in front of your personal, intimate relationship with the only one and true God of the Bible. Still looking at me with a puzzled look? Let me share a few examples:

Would you rather be late for work or late to church? Are you more likely to skip your favorite TV show or your morning devotion? Have you ever given up a meal to spend urgently needed time in prayer? Who do you say “good morning” to first each day? What does your checkbook say about your devotion to God? Is the first thing you grab with your coffee a newspaper or a copy of the precious word of God? To whom would your children (or your spouse) say you are the most devoted? Are you insulted more by the use of the Lord’s name in vain, or an insult of your alma mater?

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! I hope you have some steel-toed shoes on today! Mine are going to need a good soaking tonight! Remember, Jesus took the Ten Commandments to a higher level. Anything between you and God, anything that keeps you from your fervent, passionate, constant devotion to Him, is breaking that first commandment.

You can rejoice with me that He offers forgiveness, but let’s start today to obey His perfect word! Let’s put Him first! Let’s let Him be supreme in our life! Let us begin, right now, making sure there is NO god, BUT GOD!

And I’ll pray for your toes!

To my wife’s chagrin, I love a good debate.

There is an interesting controversy between the Catholic Church, Notre Dame, and President Obama that is testing the roots of the school and the church against the leadership’s desire to be relevant and in tune with culture and the new presidency. The University has asked the President to do the commencement address this year and is honoring him with an honorary law degree. Some Catholics feel President Obama’s stand on the abortion issue is a misuse of the law and do not believe he should be honored in this way.  Is this a moral debate, a spiritual debate or a political debate?  I’m not sure that it is not each of these, but I suspect there is more to come in the next few years. Since I am not a Catholic, I certainly don’t feel it is my place to take sides on this issue, but  I am curious how the leadership of the Catholic Church will mesh with its own people over these issues in the coming years.

What do you think? Read the article by Father Jonathan Morris, a Fox News Relegion Contributor, HERE and let me know your thoughts.  You can also follow this debate on Father Morris’ Facebook and Twitter.

Church planting is in my blood. It didn’t occur to me until recently, but shortly after my mother came to Clarksville she was a charter member of a local church.  They are celebrating their 50th anniversary today.  Shortly after this my mother married my father and became a Baptist, but she has always loved her Lutheran heritage.

Congratulations Grace Lutheran Church on 50 years of Kingdom growth.

I love the vision and excitement of church planting and it is one method God has used for many years to reach new people.   God continues to work through those willing to work hard, love people, and take risks to build the Kingdom.

One of the saddest moments and most often repeated in ministry is the couple that remains childless, but desperately desires to them or the couple who may have one child, but can’t seem to have another.  It’s a hurt in a person’s heart that seems to run deeper than most hurts I see in ministry.  (Read 1 Samuel 1 for a Biblical example of this kind of pain.)   Equally sad to me is the enormous costs associated with the adoption process, as well as the uncertainty and waiting time couples endure through it.  Yesterday I had another wonderful couple approach me about their desire to adopt.  I wish I immediately had an answer for them.  It is so much easier if the family wishing to adopt has a connection with a young mother desiring to bless her child with a better life than she can offer, by giving the child to an adoptive couple to raise.

I’m using the power of the Internet to bring awareness to this issue.  For some reason, Google page ranking likes my blog right now.  I’m hoping some young woman will search for adoptive parents, maybe even as one option to consider, and stumble on my site.  I’m praying that even in this girl’s desperate and scared situation that she would be motivated to a wise decision.

And so a word to you who may know or suspect you are pregnant, but you do not know what to do next:

Please know that there are options available to you. One of the best options is to bless another couple that so desperately would love to have the precious life within you.  There is nothing you can do to erase the situation you find yourself in, but you have the ability to bring enormous good to others through your pain.  If you want a connection with an adoptive couple, please email me at ron.edmondson@gmail.com.  If you want a great website for information, check out the website of the Hope Center (I serve on their board). It has some information to help you with your decision.

Please also know that this place you find yourself in does not at all remove you from God’s love or disqualify you from His grace and forgiveness.  If you need help thinking through this part of the issue, please email me also and I will give you some online advice and/or connect you with resources where you live to people who will give you love, understanding and counsel without judging the decisions you have made.

My strongest advice is not to make this decision alone.  There are those, including me, who truly care.

I have covered the tragic murder of Pastor Fred Winters because I was encouraged by the attitude of the pastor towards faith and vision.  I wish I had known him, because I’m sure he would have inspired me even more.  Much has been written about his family and I’ve shied away from that subject not wanting to sensationalize their grief, but then I found this video.

Last Sunday I preached a message on the difference in having circumstantial faith and in trusting God completely even when everything around us screams otherwise.  (You can watch that HERE.)  Cindy Winters, the widow of Reverend Winters, is a perfect example of this kind of steady faith.  She takes a tragedy and uses it as an opportunity to share her faith in Jesus Christ! Wow!  Listen to her story. She gives the recipe of going through the worst times of life.

In the age of instant everything, now we enter instant responses from the President of the United States.  President Obama attempted an “experimental” online town hall meeting this week. This is the president who has already changed the value of the Internet for political campaigns, raising more money online than anyone ever dreamed possible.  The Obama administration obviously recognizes the importance of continuing this type of access of people to the President.   You can read the entire text of the town hall meeting HERE.

I applaud President Obama for his accessibility and willingness to meet people within the context and culture of the day. This is certainly a presidency that will be very aware and conscious of culture and public opinion. My desire is to see the church do likewise when it comes to understanding and adapting to culture in order to reach people with the Gospel.  The caution I would offer the presidency is that instant access will also mean instant opinions from a select group of constituents.  A leader can’t help, but be influenced by that constant flow of information.  There may be a danger in allowing that instant access to shape public policy.  It is one thing to gather information and survey public pulse, but quite another to be subject to the whims of the populace.

Leaders should receive all the information available to them, gather samples of opinions from broad sources, weigh all the options, but then ultimately, they should do the right thing, regardless of the wave of public opinion.  The panic reactions of people to economic news over the last six months are an example of why the popular decision may or may not always be the right decision.

We may or may not agree with his policies, but, in my opinion (I have one too), we do not want the presidency being controlled by a mass of anonymous online opinions anymore than I want our church controlled by only those who comment on my Facebook status or reply to my Twitters.

That’s my opinion.  What do you think?