Ted and Robyn Randall have only been in our life a few months, but they will never know how much their friendship has already meant to us. Thankfully we have several friends like them, and Cheryl has even more of these friends than I do, but last night we spent some time at Richard’s Café in White’s Creek with the Randall’s.

The reason their friendship means so much is that when we are with them, the only business at hand is having fun. As a pastor, when I’m with someone, usually there is a perceived expectation that I’m to be “pastoral”. I’m supposed to be the one to pray. It is expected that I can provide answers, comfort, wisdom, hope, suggestions, insight, and condolence. I’m supposed to be the rational one. Some, not so much in my church thankfully, think a pastor should always be serious and certainly never silly. (Sorry, that’s not always me!) I realize the expectations and responsibilities that come with the calling, and I’m not at all complaining about it, but sometimes I just like to have fun, with no expectations on my part.

Ted is an Army Chaplain and pastor. They have been in ministry for years. They understand the stress of always being “at work”. They are both fun people. Hanging out with them is just that, hanging out. There is no pressure to be anyone other than a friend. Through that time with them they invest in me and help me unwind from the stress of ministry.

I value my time with friends like this.

Most people who know me well know I would have loved having a daughter. I have two of the greatest sons any father could ask for and I wouldn’t trade them for anyone, but there’s a part of me that envies the dads of daughters I know. As much as I think it would scare me to have one (I think I’d probably make them cry daily not meaning to), I often wish I did. It makes me really hope that someday I will have two special daughter-in-laws (I have my eye on one already. No pressure!) and granddaughters. I plan to spoil them greatly!

If I did have daughters, along with teaching them the Scriptures, I think I would have them listen to Kellie Pickler’s song “Don’t You Know You’re Beautiful” and read Angela Thomas’ book, “Do You Think I’m Beautiful”, as they were old enough to understand. My goal would be to show them their own self worth, that they are beautiful not only for their outer appearance, but for the person God had created them to be.

I would strive to let them see that no man can completely fill the deep need of their heart for love. As wonderful as a man may try to be, he can never emotionally complete the heart of a woman. Only Christ’s love can meet that need fully, completely, and continually.

I would, however, try to convince them that their dad unconditionally loved them.

And I would keep my shotgun loaded!

In working on an upcoming message on the Biblical character Moses, one observation about his life is that he certainly found himself in places he never expected to be. He was raised in Pharaoh’s home, although he was an Israelite. God chose him to lead the people out of Egypt, even though he was a murderer and a runaway.

I identify with how I suspect Moses may have felt, looking back at the path of his life.

1. I would never have thought I would be a pastor. (Most who knew me years ago wouldn’t either.)

2. I would never have expected others to look to me for leadership, considering my history.

3. I certainly didn’t expect our church to grow at the pace that it has grown.

4. I could never have imagined the spiritual growth I have seen in my wife and boys.

5. I could have never perceived the struggles life has brought to my family and me.

6.  No one could have described for me the grace God would pour out on my life.

Therefore, let me ask you to reflect with Moses and me by asking you a question:

If you look at your life and where you are today, has God taken you places you never expected to be? How has God surprised you with the path He’s had for you in life?

I had a sobering experience today. I haven’t been able to let go of it.

This morning I accompanied my teenage son to court. He got his first traffic ticket for failing to yield for a yellow light. After the judge stated his fine, we were taken with 2 other teenagers and their parents to pay.

One of the other teenage boys, a nice, clean cut young man, had apparently carried too many children in his car at one time. (The limit for his age is one passenger. He had three.) Here’s the sobering part for me. When the boy’s single mom went to pay, she asked the court permission to work out payments on the fine. The total was $82. She needed three months to pay the bill. (Frankly there were times growing up that this could have been my family.)

I stood there looking at my nicely dressed son and realized he has never known his parents to struggle in that way. Thankfully, we have always been able to pay for the things he needs and even when we might have been stretched for cash, he never really knew it. We discussed it as we left and both of us felt humbled.

We have traveled as a family on the mission field to some of the poorest parts of the world. We have witnessed firsthand those who truly have nothing. Today, right in our own community, we were reminded how blessed we are as a family and not to take what God has allowed us to have for granted.

Thank you God for sobering moments.

Unfortunately, I know this advice from firsthand experience.  In my previous, pre-ministry business days, I once owned a business where everything that could go wrong did.  I reacted in the wrong way and it ended up costing me greatly. 

Therefore, here is my best advice for the CEO/Small Business Owner/Pastor for when things are going wrong in the organization:

DON’T RUN

Whatever happens, as bad as it gets, don’t disappear from your position as leader.  When things are going wrong you will be tempted to skip out of the office early, hide with your door closed, or make excuses for why you aren’t on the job.  That is never the right response. When you disappear:

1.     Your employees have less motivation to work hard; some will disappear too.

2.     Your worries don’t leave you just because you aren’t at the office.

3.     You will never solve the problems as an absentee leader. 

4.     You most likely won’t be there to see the turnaround if and when it begins. 

As much as you want the pain to be over, hang in there and fight your way to the end of the battle.  If that end is that you sell out, you leave the organization, things turnaround, or even if the worse case scenario comes true and the organization ends, lead the organization as long as you are at the helm.  

Looking back on the situation, you’ll be glad you continue to lead strong.  

This is a random post, but I was thinking about leadership again today.  There are many leaders I know who certainly have responsibility for an organization, but I wouldn’t necessarily consider them “good leaders”.  (This is not aimed at anyone specific; so don’t read it as such.  If the shoe fits…)

Therefore, here are 10 characteristics of a good leader:  (in my opinion)

1.     Recognizes the value in other people, so continually invests in others

2.     Shares information with those in the organization.

3.     Has above average character

4.     Uses their influence for the good of others

5.     Is skillful and competent

6.     Not afraid for others to succeed (even greater than their own success)

7.     Serves others expecting nothing in return.

8.     Continues to learn

9.     Remains accessible, approachable, and accountable to others

10. Is visionary: Thinks for the organization beyond today. 

I know pastors will immediately refer me to 1 Timothy 3 or similar passages, and I certainly am not discounting those passages. They are vital to the selection process of good leaders in the church. This post is not addressing the selection perspective, but the results perspective of good leadership, in the church, but also in the world.

I got to Starbucks this morning and couldn’t leave.  There was too much ministry and other activities happening.  Here’s a recap of my hour and a half experience:

1.     Met three people who are “considering attending Grace Community Church”.

2.     Talked with a family who visited the Sunday prior and enjoyed it.  (I wasn’t preaching, so it was one of our good Sundays.)

3.     Answered over a dozen emails, including one about “once saved always saved”, one about baptism, one about a marriage struggle, and one about the church’s doctrine.

4.     Met a man who really kept wanting to talk, wanted my input in playing his online poker game, excitedly shared that he won  $6 gambling, told me he quit church because all they do is “waste money”, and may give our church a try this Sunday! 

5.     Talked with and tried to encourage a new city councilperson who is doing a great job and has a positive vision for our city. 

6.     Accepted 6 new Facebook friends.  Welcome! 

7.     Responded to 9 direct messages via Twitter.

8.     Took a call from a desperate man trying to save his marriage.

9.     Encouraged an Austin Peay professor I hear is very well liked by her students.

10.  Visited briefly with a local pastor.  Great guy! 

The same type experience happens every Sunday night when Cheryl and I make our weekly Wal Mart trip.  I am thinking I may need to do this more often.  

Do you have similar experiences when you are out in public?  How do your convert those experiences into ministry opportunities?  

One principle of leadership:

Not everyone will agree with you and/or even like you.  If you lead anything, someone will disagree with your decisions and you will divide people into different opinions.  (There has never been a president with 100% approval ratings.) Leaders must be prepared to lead towards the vision of the organization, even when it means losing approval ratings. 

The only way to avoid this is to never lead.  If you are someone who needs people to agree with you or who relishes popularity more than your desire to make hard decisions and do the right thing for the organization, then I suggest you choose something other than leadership in which to invest your energies.  

It has amazed me recently how people in our community seem just as afraid about the national economy as people I talk to in other parts of the country. 

I live in one of the greatest cities economically in the nation.  Clarksville, Tennessee recently was awarded a major industrial investment when Hemlock Semiconductors announced an estimated $1.2 Billion investment in our community.  By many reports we are one of the top 10 real estate markets in the country.  A large portion of our retail base is dependent on Fort Campbell, KY’s more than 30,000 troops who are still being paid monthly.  It was announced last week that December was the third highest month for retail sales in our county’s history. 

Do I know people who have lost their jobs?  Absolutely.  Has this economy affected businesses in our community?  Without a doubt.  Are we suffering as a community as bad as other parts of the country?  I don’t think so. 

Still, we seem to suffer from blues by association.  The mood of the national economy has certainly impacted the mood of our community. Even those who have a job are worried.   Perhaps you have experienced similar media-induced moods where you live. 

I watched a CNN interview last week with college students from Georgia.  Some of them have given up hope on their financial futures.  I am a realist, and so I do recognize that the present economic crisis is real, but at the same time, capitalism thrives on hope.  Taking risks, remaining optimistic, and dreaming big dreams are all tenants that made our current system work. 

Instead of, or at least as much as much as, an economic stimulus package, maybe our country needs a good hope stimulus.  

Let it begin with us!  Invest some hope in someone today!  

Ben Reed is our Director of Community Groups.  One of the best decisions we have made, as a church is to take a chance on a young man who had no experience in this area, wasn’t yet finished with seminary, and wasn’t really looking for this type of position. Still, Ben has an incredible heart, he’s extremely mature, and he’s the type of guy an organization is smart to grab before someone else does. 

He’s done a great job with our community groups.  He writes a great blog too.  I thought this post was worth sharing.   (Keep in mind, he just finished seminary, so he writes long posts…J/K…he’s also one of my favorite people to pick on….Plus,click on the link to read the comments.  They create good discussion.) 

Is your system working?

By Ben Reed

I’ve been in my current ministry position now for a little over a year. Our church is structured around a three-fold strategy of creating followers of Christ: Gather, Commit, and Serve:

As we GATHER to celebrate Jesus and encounter biblical principles, COMMIT to one another in community groups, and SERVE by using the gifts God has given us to invest in the lives of others, we will grow in our passion for God, our compassion for God’s people, and our effectiveness in God’s work of developing growing followers.

That’s our system, and my role in the system is to facilitate, oversee, and help to develop community groups. I completely believe in our system, the simplicity of it (and the simplicity of what it means to be a be a follower of Christ), and am committed to it wholeheartedly. However, I’m always evaluating it, and specifically, the role of community groups in creating authentic community that fosters growth in godliness.

About two months ago, I was counseling a young man who had lots of questions about his next step in life. Basically, his question was, “What do I do next?” He needed help in thinking through future career options, future spouse options, financial next-steps, etc. He thought that his problem was that he struggled with change, and was afraid to take big steps. Over the course of only a few weeks, we determined that his problem was much greater. The next big step that he needed to take, the one that would determine the course of his life forever, was to become a follower of Christ. I told him that this decision would not necessarily make his life ‘easier.’ It would also not lay out in detail his exact next step. However, he would be resting his future in the hands of the One who created the universe (Genesis 1), who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17), and whose hand cannot be stayed (Daniel 4:35). So, this young man decided to place his faith in Christ!

That’s great news, right? I should be rejoicing, right?

I am, but I’m also saddened.

This man has been in one of our community groups for over a year. He has sat in a group every week, and still was troubled by the question, “What is the gospel?” This man is very intelligent, and can easily comprehend difficult, abstract concepts, but still had the question, “Why did Jesus have to die?” and “What does it mean to repent?” He didn’t know why we needed a sacrifice for our sins, and that Christ had offered himself as our perfect lamb.

If he was just a semi-regular Sunday morning attender, I could feel okay about this. But he’s there every single week, and is one of the most faithful members of his small group.

This bothers me. How could someone be plugged into what I thought was a disciple-producing ministry here at GCC and still have these questions? Let me reiterate that it was not for a lack of intellectual comprehension that this man did not know. He had simply not been asked the fundamental questions of the gospel and had the chance to interact with the Truth.

Is this an isolated issue, or pervasive? Is it a problem with the curriculum that we’re using? Is it a problem with the way that I communicate with my leaders? Is it our system? Is it a leadership training issue? Is it something that needs to be communicated more from the stage?

I realize that this post leaves me quite vulnerable as the leader of the small groups here at our church. But I want to be honest and say that this bothers me. I want to make sure that each of our group leaders is having gospel-centered discussions, both within the weekly group meeting and outside of it. So right now, I’m working through some ideas to ensure, as much as is humanly possible, that difficult questions are being asked, fundamental gospel concepts are being discussed and applied to life, and that those who attend our community groups have the chance to chew on and digest the great, life-changing truths of the gospel.

Is the goal of your ’system’ discipleship? If not, what is the goal of your ’system’? Is that goal being met? If it’s not being met, how willing are you to scrap the ’system’ in favor of the goal?

Next post, I’ll fill you in on what I think the problem is. I actually think I may have nailed the issue. We’ll see.