I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” (1 Samuel 1:27-28 NIV)
This is one of those posts that if I am not careful could come back to hurt me. Have you ever met an angry mother trying to protect her child? I am talking about that kind of hurt. Let me just say to read this and “if the shoe fits wear it”. If it does not apply to you then I will see you next post. Let me say though, that I do not approach this lightly, so please have an open heart and mind as you read.
I want to address the issue of mothers letting go of their sons. In my opinion, in the age of the strong mother and absentee father, the dilemma of the weak man has reached epidemic proportions. Mothers are more protective than ever and sons are having a harder time leaving their mothers and leading in their homes. Many wives stand in the way of their husbands building men and try to keep their “little boys” under their control and protection. I often encounter men who cannot make decisions for themselves, have no real direction in life and are afraid of their future. Many of these issues relate back to a mother who never allowed her son the opportunity to stop being her “little boy”.
The goal of the mother should be to nurture a boy, provide for his care, love him unconditionally, and then release him to the world. Men have an innate need to lead. They are born to protect, to fix things, and to provide strength. This side of a man seldom realizes his potential under the continued control and oversight of a doting mother. (Okay, I said the worst part. Cast your stones now before you read the rest of this post.)
Mothers, I know you love your sons. You should. I am glad you do. I have a strong, loving mother. I would not be who I am today without her strength, love and guidance. I still need her in my life. The fact remains, however, that I have responsibilities that God has given me and I must stand up to them on my own. I must be able to make decisions for myself, learn from my mistakes, and at times have my heart broken so that I become the man God has called me to be. Completing that means, I must be able to stand independent from my mother. She cannot shelter me, control me or fix my problems for me. The process of becoming a man begins early in life, but by the time a boy is an early teenager his mother needs to be in the practice of releasing him to God and the world.
This is surely a tough task for any mom. Striking the delicate balance between love and control of their lives will not be easily managed, but I encourage mothers to work towards releasing their sons. The men their sons become will be worth the sacrifice.