Every organization needs change to occur to continue to grow and remain healthy.  Change is hard for some people and is often rejected or rebelled against.  Learning to lead change successfully is important for any leader.

Here are seven principles that can help you think through leading change in your organization:

1. Lead change from a pre-established trust in your leadership.  New leaders should be careful to implement a lot of change early in their leadership unless that change is vital to the organization.  Change will be easier if the leader is trusted.
2. Introduce change as early as possible.  People need time to warm up to the change that is coming.
3. Prepare people along the way by keeping them informed of progress during a change period. Include the good news and the bad news of change in these updates.
4. Get buy-in from as many people as possible.  Sometimes leaders have to lead alone (For those times read this post on the loneliness of leadership), but wherever possible include others in decisions concerning change.
5. Follow through on commitments made.  The quickest way to lose trust is to say one thing and do another. Likewise, do not make commitments you cannot keep.
6. Be consistent.  You will keep people’s trust through the change if it is easier to figure out where leadership is at and what they will do next.
7. Do not make change a rare occurrence in the organization.  Build a culture of healthy change in the organization so that change will be more naturally accepted.

What advice do you have for leading change?  Have you ever been in an organization that lead change poorly?

To spank or not to spank…that’s probably one of the most frequent debates I have heard about parenting, but something seldom talked about from those who teach on parenting.  I suppose I should not be surprised when I am addressed with this question often since I frequently teach on issues such as parenting, marriage and the family.  Recently when I spoke on 5 Words to Shape Your Parenting, I received several questions again about this subject.  Yesterday I began this subject of discipline. Read that post HERE.

Here are a few of my thoughts about the issue:

• This is a personal issue and one I do not feel comfortable solving for parents.  A parent can and will only enforce consistently those discipline strategies he or she agrees with personally.
• This is an important question, but not at all the most important question about parenting.  The bigger issue is having an overall plan for parenting.  I know too many parents trying to solve this question, but they have never fully thought through a strategy for where they are leading their children and how they are going to get them there.
• The goal of parenting is far more important than the methods used in parenting.  In our parenting we tried many different methods; some worked and some didn’t.  The key was that we were intentionally thinking through the goal and working towards realizing that goal in our boy’s lives.
• Each child is different.  We saw more positives in corporal punishment with one of our children than the other.
• You should never spank, or do any discipline, in anger.
• The child should never be able to question your love after the moment of discipline has passed.
• I did spank, but I hated every moment of it.  At a certain age it was the best method for one of our boys to discipline him through a strong-willed period. The cliché “this hurts me more than you” was really true for me.
• The Bible verse that is often questioned is Proverbs 13:24, which says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”  I believe this verse can easily be interpreted as referring to spanking, based on the way the Bible uses the imagery of the rod and staff of a shepherd.  The shepherd’s methods to train the sheep were always for the sheep’s best interest, but would not have always been considered gentle discipline.  The verse is a principle, however, and I think it refers more to the principle of effective parenting than it gives us a mandate to spank.
• The mother and the father should agree on the form of discipline.  If they do not, they should perhaps get help to come to a sense of agreement.  Mothers and fathers should recognize that each plays a unique role in the process and one handles discipline differently than the other.  I was much sterner on my boys that Cheryl was and she was much more of a nurturer than I was, but both were necessary.

For me the end goal of my discipline was clearly spelled out in the Bible: Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.”  What parent would not want to see the principle of that verse come true in their life some day?   Good parenting should do what works best to accomplish the goal of parenting.

What are your thoughts on this issue?

My 18 year old son Nate is serving as an intern this Summer for Michael Bayne our family minister working primarily with middle and high school students.  Recently he took it upon himself and made this video announcement to send to the students.  It reminds me that the methods of communicating with our people are changing every day.  Are you staying current?  Does your church use Facebook, Twitter, text messaging and video messaging to stay current?

Maybe you need to take a lesson from the next generation of leaders too of how best to contact your people.

Recently I spoke at Grace Community Church and posted about 5 words to shape your parenting.   Since then I have been asked several times for more specifics about parenting.  There was a special interest in the subject of spanking; whether it was appropriate or not and whether I believe in it or not.  While I believe discipline is a personal topic for parents to decide where they land, I do believe there are some principles that are helpful for all parents to follow.  I am probably less inclined in this area to talk about what I did and more inclined to talk about the principles I believe are even more helpful.

I have written my basic overall plan for parenting in an earlier post.  You can read it HERE.  Since I believe the most important thing is that you have a plan for your parenting and where you are taking your children, here are 10 principles I believe can help the discipline part of your plan.

1. Goal set first.  Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.”  You should understand the reason behind discipline.  You are taking your children somewhere they need to go.
2. You should never discipline in anger. You will say things you do not mean and do things you should not do. Discipline done is anger is rarely productive and usually harmful long-term.
3. At the time of need for discipline, remember this 3-step process: Stop/Think/Proceed.  The older your child gets the longer you can and may need to take with each step.
4. Be consistent in your discipline plan.  It will mean nothing to the child otherwise.
5. Pre-think principles, but do not try to pre-plan specifics.  You should have some   value-centered, character-based goals you want discipline to promote in your child.  You should avoid declaring what you will do when your child does something specific.  Don’t ever say, for example, my child will never wear his hair long.  You may regret those words someday.
6. Differentiate discipline for each child. To spank or not to spank should not be as big a deal as what works best for the child. (For more on this see tomorrow’s post.)
7. Do not make threats with which you are unwilling to follow through.  Your children will catch on to that real quick.
8. Use age appropriate and action appropriate discipline.  As a child matures the discipline should mature with them.  At the same time, do not overkill a minor incident or ignore a major occurrence.
9. Always discipline the child for results.  Discipline in its concept is not necessarily pleasant, but it reaps a reward if done right.  Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
10. Discipline should never teach a child he or she is unloved. Actually, if done right, it should reinforce the love a parent has for the child.  (Hebrews 12:7-10)

If you have something to add about discipline or any specific questions, feel free to comment or send me an email.

One thing that has kept us occupied the most in our culture training this week in Lithuania is the difference Soviet occupation has made on this country.  People talk constantly about “Soviet times” and “during occupation”.  We visited the KGB museum and saw the evidence of the stressed conditions of the people. Not one family here is unaffected by those days.

There are many visual evidences of those times, which ended about 20 years ago.  You can see it in the building disparity.  There will be a beautifully architecturally designed building Europe is famous for right next door to a very plain, no flash, almost ugly Soviet-built building.  It is obviously the major influencer of the economy here that has tried to learn to adjust to capitalism and the freedoms that come with it.  Sadly, you can see it in the fact that there are lots of older women walking the streets, but relatively few older men.

In spite of the hardship of this country, however, it has been amazing to see the tenacity of these people.  They are survivors.  They find a way to make something work.  They find a way to be happy, to provide for their family, and even to give to others.  I will be telling more stories later when I have more Internet time, including one man’s story that literally blew me away, but for now let me just say that I hope when times are tough for me I will have the courage and resolve of these people.

Are you having a hard time these days?  Perhaps you need to hang around my Lithuanian friends for a while.

I was talking with a friend the other day that is having to make some difficult decisions for his organization that he knows are right and necessary, but he also knows they will be very unpopular and he will most likely lose friendships over the decisions he has to make.  I was able to remind him of something all leaders need to know.

There is sometimes loneliness in leadership that cannot be avoided.  Don’t offer to lead if you are not willing to sometimes stand-alone.

Even in the best team environment there will be times when the direction the organization needs to go involves making decisions, which adversely affect the rest of the team. Consider, for example, some of the hard decisions the United States auto industry is being forced to make to remain viable.  The companies that survive that crisis may be the ones who are willing to make the hardest choices.

There have been times when I have to have hard conversations, correct people who are wrong, force my views on others or follow through on the plan I think is best for the organization, even though it is unpopular, all because I happen to wear the leader hat.  That responsibility should never be abused as an excuse for dictatorship or poor leadership, but loneliness sometimes comes with the territory of being a leader.

My blogger friend Scott Williams has a creatively done and entertaining post/tribute on Michael Jackson.  What would Michael Jackson Tweet if he Twittered?

Read the top 10 things Michael Jackson would have Tweeted

http://bigisthenewsmall.com/?p=2231

By the way, Scott has a great blog you may want to consider adding to your reader or bookmarking.

This morning, as this is posted 8 hours after it is written, I will speak to a group of Lithuanians who mostly do not speak English.  In fact, my talk will be translated into Lithuanian and Russian.  There is a part of me feeling a bit unqualified.  I am reminded of the story of Moses.

Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. Exodus 4:2 NIV

Moses had plenty of excuses. He couldn’t do what God was asking of him. He was not the right choice to carry out the mission of God. If God really wants to achieve victory….well…He’d just better pick someone else. Moses had the excuses, but God already had the plan…and it included Moses!

God said to Moses, “What is that in your hand?” Moses responded, “A staff”, but he must have looked at the staff and thought, “Well, it’s just a stick God. You’ve seen one before! After all, you made them. I just can’t walk as well now in my older years. This helps me climb over the rocks. Gee, I thought you knew what a staff was…”

Then, Moses observed God do miracles with that ole stick right before his eyes. And that was only the beginning. Moses would see God perform many other miracles with the “ole stick” in the days ahead.

Moses was not eloquent in speech. He did not command a great army. He was in exile from his people. He was not the most obvious choice to lead this great exodus from Egypt, but He was God’s man. And, Moses had everything God needed to complete the task!

You and I do too! Sometimes we may not have what we think we need to accomplish the task of the day or to get through a trial; to conquer the mountain ahead or to see victory, but God has a plan! God asks of you and I today, “What is in your hand?”

God has fully equipped us to do the work in which we are called!

If you do not have confidence in your abilities today have confidence in your Creator! He has prepared you for this day!

Cheryl and I are in Lithuania this week.  Read that story HERE.  We plan to update more later.

Nate and I were commenting back and forth on Facebook.  I told him I was getting up early here in Lithuania, because it is daylight from about 4 AM to 11:30 PM.  Here was his comment back:

“i’ve been up a while too.. since about 1 PM. I have to wake up early tomorrow though so I should probably go to bed soon.. I’m working on some new music stuff. The house is still in one piece… except for the giant hole in the garage door from where I forgot to raise it before backing the mower out.. thankfully the mower is more powerful than the garage door. It was about time we replaced that ole thing anyway… also the yard looks good. A couple of the neighbors stopped by to compliment how good it looked.. a few others stopped by when I wasn’t here so they left notes about it. Also the kitchen was smelling a little funny so I sprayed this stuff in there, but it turns out it was for wood services only and now the kitchen floor is really slick. Hopefully it will get better before you get back. I called the wooden floor guy to come over and fix it.. so it should be fine.. also Paw Paw has a Yugoslavian Pride hat for you.. I told him you were in Lithuania but he didn’t listen.. see ya!”

Should I be worried?  Should we bother to come home?

PS.  I love my boys!

Quick question: What has happened to general common courtesies?

Do you miss words such as:

• Thank you when you hold the door open for someone?
• I am going to be late when someone is running behind schedule?
• I am sorry when someone hurts another’s feelings?
• No, go right ahead when you have one item and they have a cart full at the check-out line?
• Excuse me when someone bumps into you?
• I forgive you when you apologize to someone?

Have you noticed these courtesies disappearing from our society?  What words or phrases do you miss?